Thread for those fed up of pregnant friends... actually pregnant women everywhere... while they themselves have been TTC for ages or keep having miscarriages.

Ughh can i join you girls? We started TTC before anyone else we knew. Infact all of the below are either unplanned or conceived within 3 months. Bare in mind none of these woman had ANY kids when we started TTC. Now, we know..

1 whos just had baby number 3
1 pregnant with baby number 3
2 who've had 2 kids
2 who are currently pregnant with number 2

Then there's us... still at square one. Thats 14 pregnancies we've had to witness. And about a bazillion failed cycles for us. AF started for me yesterday, and hearing ex SIL 10 week old baby down the phone just about pushed me into a breakdown. I had to try so hard just not to cry down the phone. I'm so desperate for us to have a family and time is running out. It's absolutely heartbreaking.

peacelily you sound like you need to get your strength together - i had a mc in MArch and chucked myself into work and everything to try to get back to normal as succeeded in running myself down completely - I am only now getting back to normal. None of which will help ttc so please try to look after yuorself as much as you can - hard when you have a 2yo I know (I do too) but important - take care

Hi everyone, I might have posted earlier on this thread but I can't remember!

Not read all, but Ray heart goes out to you, it truly must be hell what you're going through, don't berate yourself I admire you for keeping on trying for this long. Hopwfully the recurrent mc unit will be able to help.

I already have dd she's 2. Had mc on 14th Sept (dds birthday ) have ov x2 since then, 1 Af have been trying but think af is on it'd way next week, don't "feel" pg. Friend came round yesterday to tell me her happy news (she's been ttc number 2 for 4 months). Put on a brave face but feel as if I've been punched in the stomach. Have had a v wobbly day today crying in car on my own.

Trying to do a postgrad in CBT and work as well, but seriously flaking out not sleeping, not coping can't think of anything else apart from being pg again.

I dont really mean it, only in the moment when I feel all the injustice and pent up rage of trying and failing to do this thing month after month.....

LOL Pinkmook

I'm ssssssssooooooooooooo in touch with that emotion.

Then I can just point at them and not even waste my breath when someone says they are pregnant (dont really mean that just venting!)

am thinking of having the V's tattooed on my forehead!

lol pinkmook, a familiar feeling you just expressed!

arrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh someone at work just had twins (naturally), someone else just announced pregnancy, girl next to me pregnant with 3rd child and constantly moaning that "this child is sucking the life out of me", other person from work just gone on maternity leave - but do I get a break from her pregnancy related witterings...........ooooohhhhhhh noooooo. She keeps us all FULLY updated with facebook status updates about 3 times a day ALL relating to her fricking pregnancy "xxxx is thinking her bump is massive" "xxxxx cant belive how good the 3D scan video is, have a look everyone!" fuck off fuck off fuck off fuuuuuuuuuuucccckkkk offfffffffffffff!!!!!!!!

SORRY everyone just had to hget it out.

Agggggggggggggggggghhhh...there, i feel better now

And just to cheer me up, someone else I know is up the duff. MARVELOUS!

Rubbish isnt it....

Ontheup. Know how you feel. My DH tries to be supportive, but I'm only allowed to be philosophical and now get upset about it Thank heavens for mumsnet!!

My DS is lovely too, but I never wanted an only child. Now it looks like that might be the case. Day 1 for me on Sat. Quite dispondant. Next month last try for 2 months due to DH's work cycle. Not optimistic and surrounded by ever increasing girths of pg friends. Boo.

Morning everyone - I hope the wet and windy weather isn't too gloomy for you. I need a little vent if you don't mind...AF started yesterday on CD 25 yesterday - complete shock as I was on a 28/29 day cycle so just not expecting it. While logically I knew that wasnt much chance it was still horrible esp as the day before I went to a lunch w my NCT friends - one has DC2 already, one is due in the next few weeks and one is due in the SPring. I got very last night. My baby would have been a few weeks old now and instead her eI am pulling out the gool old Always with wings again. DH wasnt much help - he just says why get worried about something you cant control - he's not interested in IVF and I feel like time is slipping away. I'm almost 39 and beginning to think that DS will be an only child . I know I am lucky to have DS and he is lovely but I don't want him to be lonely...just having a bad day I guess. Thanks for listening.

Ray - I haven't posted on your thread but wanted to reply to you as your story has really moved me and the pain you are feeling feels so raw and desperate.

I too have had three mc's and I know how hard it is. To go from the tremendous joy and relief of finding out you are PG to then have it crushed and trampled on so cruelly through MC is hell. And each time feels harder and more desperate. But you will get through this. (Although it's not a straightforward linear journey and there will be good times / days and bad).

After my 3 mc's DH and I were referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic. They were brilliant, took us seriously and did a whole load of blood tests and I had a pelvic scan. They found I had a retroverted womb and cysts on my ovaries (which I worried about until they reassured me how common this was) and the blood tests came back completely normal. They put it all down to bad luck and said that there was a very good change of falling and remaining successfully pregnant and that we should keep on trying. Also when we do next fall PG, we are able to go and have a six week scan to check that all seems to be successfully in place etc - something I find very reassuring.

All of this is a big relief to DH and I and we are now back ttc with the renewed hope that it WILL happen for us at some point. We had a bit of time out after the third MC whilst waiting for our hospital appointment and tests to come back which I found really helpful. I needed time to focus on other things that were important to me, and to focus on my relationship with DH in particular. But you may well feel that you want to carry straight on. There's no right answer, apart from what you feel is best for you.

I wish you all the luck possible. Don't give up hope...

xxxxxxxxxx

fif, thanks so much for the post it was lovely.

You are right i have to try and find something positive in all this and hopefully now they will investigate and be able to tell me why this is happening to us.
I feel like a right moroon for sitting here and getting slapped over and over again although this time it feels more like a massive punch to the whole body. infact i think saying i feel like i have been in the ring with mike tyson is more like it.

There is a part of me that wants to try straight away like after i have stopped bleeding as they say you are most fertile after a miscarriage and i know the sperm meets egg plan seems to work for us so we could try that again but i am so scared that if it works and i do fall it will all just happen again and as they havent has a chance to carry out any investigations they'll just let it happen like this time.

What do you think guys do i wait until they find out whats wrong or do i just go for it and see what happens. This decision is so hard.

fifi what a lovely post...it's all so hard isn't it but looking for the good has got to be the best way forward. Take care everyone.

oh god ray..

i'm so sorry.. i don't know your full story but perhaps someone could investigate now why you have recurring m/cs? 3 is (stupidly and pointlessly) the magic number where they'll finally take you seriously.. and if you've just recently moved to the sperm meets egg plan then maybe you could take some tiny comfort in the fact that that seemed to work so well for you .. you really gave it 110%.. i'm not being a smartalec here.. you did get BFP.. that's a massive plus.. i know it didn't last and i'm not trying to upset you or make light of what's happening now.. i've been there myself and it's an empty empty numbing hellhole.. i want to shout don't give up.. but.. i want to say don't go gaga either.. there comes a point where you feel you must be a total moron to sit there being slapped on either side of the face over and over every month and not just get up and move away like any reasonable person would do.. but i guess we can no longer call ourselves reasonable people anymore and lets face it we all say "i'm giving up!!!" and this quest never really leaves us.. even if we think we've put it out of our heads.. maybe you could say that you'll just stop trying for a month or two to kick off the investigations side of things.. oh Ray.. i'm sorry.. so sorry.. wrap up warm, be kind to yourself and tell DH WE said you are to get VIP treatment.. tell DD you're not very well and try to take her somewhere lovely as a pre christmas treat, have a little girls day out, take her to a dept store and buy her the pinkest girliest fairy for the tree or spend an afternoon at the cinema together, bake fairy cakes and decorate them with dolly mixture and then sit down and eat them all in front of a dvd.. do something lovely together to push back against all this super sad stuff.. i don't know how old DD is .. maybe all that is too old for her or too "sad and boring!!" .. making her happy will make you happy too.. and if all this is pushed to the back of your mind for even 15 straight minutes.. it might help.. just a tiny bit..
big big hug xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ray - Take care xx

AF on it's way here. Tomorrow it will make an official appearance. Know it. Fab, super, brilliant am really made up

Hey nandos, its been confirmed that i am losing as hcg as fallen so need to accept it now all hope is gone,

Dh has been brilliant we have had a good cry together but i think he is more worried about me then anything else.

i just cant understand why us we have spent 4 years waiting for this just to have it snatched away so easily it just seems so fucky unfair.

Thanks for all the best wishes guys but i'm realy not sure if i can do it all again, i feel so defeated at the moment and i hate myself for it but i just want to curl up under the covers and not emerge for days, but i can as have DD and have to pull myself together for her poor thing just doesnt understand whats going on.

I'll keep incontact and let you all know when i decide what to do.

Oh Ray - you poor thing - I was wondering why you had gone so quiet - great big hugs to you. Fwiw try not to make any decisions now as you have to go through grief (again, i know, its not fair at all) and give yourself time. hard to do, easy to say I know but try to be kind to yourself. How is DH (or DP, not sure) - he must be upset too. Will be thinking of you honey. Take care. xxxx

Ray.

Get drunk, eat Sushi. AFter your mc go to a good spa and do Sauna and Jacuzzi. Indulge yourself. Have a good cry and then rethink if you want to try again.

Know we understand how rubbish you feel. Big hugs xxx

Here AF is on her way. Bitch. Not sure I can pack in another 5 day marathon next month for nowt.

hello fellow busstoppers.

Ray I am so so sorry, is there no hope it may just hng in there? All my thoughts of good luck are with you.

As fifi said. Its not that I am not pleased for someone when they get pregnant (especially not on here where we all deserve a break) its just I have loads of crap going on with DH being made redundant and trying to sort another job out for him its so stressful. And it is a shock when someone gets pregnant - its fantastic and great but it kind of leaves you thinking of where you are with no pregnancy and still stood at the bus stop. But please please any one who does get pregnant on here dont think I am not pleased for you (you all deserve it) just waiting for my turn.

xxx

Hi guys,

Well it seems that although i had BFP it wasnt to last have been to hosp and HCG is very low so will miscarry pretty soon just waiting for it to happen. This will be my third Mc and after 5 years trying to get Pg and when finaly it happens i lose. Life is so so so unfair i realy dont understand why us i dont get it why why why ( sobbing ). I cant do this anymore i realy cant cope anymore i give up i realy so.

Good luck to everyone else and baby dust to you all.

Hi ladies! Was 17th October when i last posted on here. Just wanted to call in and say hang on in there. May join you more regularly soon if that's okay. Have been having accupuncture for a couple of months and feeling a lot healthier in general, start taking metformin for PCOS this week and folic acid so going to start ttc again in a few months time.