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Original poster

Fertility clinic want semen sample but dp blatently refuses

32 replies

ifeelsleepy · 20/08/2008 09:39

I just don,t know what to do.
I have been ttc for almost a year and I am getting very fretful about things.
My dp has never been too keen on another and has only sort of come round on the idea and I have always gone to any appointments on my own.
Now the fertility clinic have asked for a semen analysis and my dp refuses to do it, I am not doing that is the answer I got from him it doesn,t matter how much I try to bring him around he won,t do it.
I think he finds the whole thing deeply disturbing the thought of providing this sample.
What on earth can I say to the fertility clinic.

OP posts:
Original poster
ifeelsleepy · 20/08/2008 09:53

It is a problem it took me 2 years to persuade him but he still couldn,t give 2 hoots as to whether I have another or not.
We are not spring chickens either I am 38 he is 44.
I know that time is running out for me.
Family have said its not right that I am pressurising him into another, but I just can,t help myself, I really want another so badly.

OP posts:
Original poster
ifeelsleepy · 20/08/2008 09:49

He just simply says there is no way he is going to do that, he is just not the sort of person to have anything to do with doctors etc.
I am so angry with him, although I am pretty sure that I am the one with the problem due to various things, they just want to test him as matter of routine.
A big part of the problem is that he is not comitted to having another at all he doesn,t see a need and he is happy with the one we already have.
However I am so desperate and I wish he could see that and do it for me.

OP posts:
janinlondon · 20/08/2008 09:48

I think you may have trouble convincing the clinic to continue with investigations or treatment if one half of the party is not coming to the party (so to speak). I think there may be something more to this. You need to talk.

MrsTittleMouse · 20/08/2008 09:48

I bet that this won't be the first time that the clinic have encountered this problem, by the way. So they might have some ideas on how to tackle it.

WorzselMummage · 20/08/2008 09:47

I had a problem getting a sample from my DF.

I lost my rag one day and told him to be a man and ranted at him about his selfish and pathetic he was being for a while, slammed some doors, cried a bit you get the picture ?

anyway it worked.

Tell him he's being, for want of a better word, a twat.

beanieb · 20/08/2008 09:47

Is he refusing because it's his way of getting what he wants (no more children) or because he finds it embarrassing?

MrsTittleMouse · 20/08/2008 09:44

I would tell them the truth.
They will have their hands completely tied without the sample though. I can't see them being willing to treat you if there is a 50% chance that your DP has a fertility problem instead of/as well as you.
Has he told you why exactly he doesn't want to do it?