20 month age gap/ 2yr age gap... is there a lot of difference????????????

i have an 18 month age gap and will have a 2.5 year gap when dc3 is born.

the gap between my first 2 is a great one, there was hardly any jealousy, dd accepted dds really easily, they play together and are close developmentally and play with the same friends.

no ides what 2.5 years will be like but ds is already causing more fuss about a baby being on the way and insisting on being refered to only as 'baby' never by name. he seems pleased sometimes but i think it's going to be alot tougher than when he was born and dd ran straight up to him and gave him a big kiss [sigh]

we have 19 months, I found 3rd trimester really had with ds as he didn't start walking till 17 mo so still lots of carrying and lifting, bath and meal times were hard work but now its great and as CarGirl says both have naps, I get 1 hour to myself at 1pm its bliss! there is 15 mo between my and my brother and its great, I don't remember life with out him, we're very close, at moment that extra 6 months or so seems like it makes all difference but in few years time its nothing
Every age gap has its advantages/disadvantages, I think it depends on you, your family and how your ds is, I know people who've left longer as dc's a terible sleeper and they need a break before newborn and some who've thought 'getting no sleep now so perfect time to get it all done' !

I have a 2yr 2month gap between mine- it seems to have worked well although DS (DC1) dropped his daytime nap only a couple of months after DD (DC2) was born and at first I really missed them both napping at the same time for the rest that it gave me (or a chance to try to sort out the chaos...)

BUT we didn't need a double buggy- in the early months DS still needed a buggy for longer distances but DD was happy in a sling so we managed like that. Once DS was about 2yr 7 months he became a keen walker and DD could take his place in the buggy- though to be honest I use a backpack more due to where I live, plus as it gives me both hands for DS should I need it (sorry, getting sidetracked...!! )

There has been very little sibling rivalry and they are now beginning to play well together- DD is nearly walking (13 months). But I do wonder if the sibling rivalry thing, or lack of, could be due to them being different sexes or just their personalities rather than age gap.

My sister and I are 20 months apart and we are very close- always have been- though did fight like dog & cat pretty often too when younger!

Good luck when you start TTC!

I have a 14 month gap and then a 24 month gap so can't really compare the two. Overall I prefer the smaller gap, you'll need a double pushchair, they both have naps (bliss), less jealously.

I have a 22 month age gap between DS1 and DTs. I was surprised at how well he accepted the new babies, especially as there were two. DTs are nearly 7 months so they are not doing things like playing together yet but hopefully they will all get on ok!

On a practical side, the smaller your age gap, the longer you will need things like a double buggy. DS1 is now nearly 2 and a half and still needs a buggy for longer trips and when he is tired. He can run and run when he wants to, but not if he doesn't!!

Can't speak for anyone with a 2 yr gap but we have 19mo gap. I panicked a bit when I was heavily pregnant and wasn't sure how I'd find it with the two of them being so close in age. It's been fine. DD will be 2 next month and I'm not sure there's that much difference to be honest - her speech is better now so she's rarely frustrated as she can let us know what she wants easily but on the other hand, she has more tantrums now when she doesn't get her own way. Swings and roundabouts really!

I'd say don't worry too much about the gap - just go for it when you feel ready and see how it goes. Like you say, it may or may not take longer to concieve this time so you can't time it perfectly anyway

Not much difference really IMO. A smaller gap will be more intense hard work in the short-term, but in the long-term they will be able to play together and, as you say, you will get the baby stuff out of the way quicker.

Don't get too hung up on the perfect age gap though. It took us 15 months to conceive our second (having taken 1 month to conceive our first) so our planned 2.6 year gap has become a 3.9 year gap. I got very stressed about it while TTC - which obviously didn't help the process! Just go with the flow. If you want to start TTC when your DS is 1 then go for it. Good luck.