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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

i'd like to have a girl

41 replies

insywinsyspider · 17/07/2008 19:44

hello, I've done a search about ttc for particular genders and I know how some people feel about 'gender selection' but I'm looking for some non jugmental and honest conversation about it as I its not something I can talk about in real life as I feel too guilty for feeling like this, I have 2 ds's and I would like a dd, dh and I would like dc3 and I'm actually scared I might not ever have a dd, I'm really close to my mum, I'd like to have a chance at that relationship and boys are diff to girls whatever anyone says, I need to feel happy bout having ds3 before we ttc but don't know how to start the 'grieving' process... anyone been thro this?? if I can't resolve these feelings then I can't have another dc.... I feel sad about that

OP posts:
gigglewitch · 23/07/2008 00:39

I also had two boys, wanted a third dc but like insy would really like a go at seeing if we could get a girl, also because i have a lovely relationship with my Mum. Gist is, I read "how to choose the sex of your baby" by ~Hazel Chesterman Phillips, plotted some cycles, length, sticky stuff [poss tmi, sorry] and so on; also used a persona monitor. I knew that both boys had been conceived at ovulation, day 16, and thus had to get earlier than that to conceive a girl. We worked further down my cycle each month and by month 8 with sex on day 13 we made it - or should i say her.
Family complete. As i am sure it would also be with a third little boy, but i have to say i am sooooo happy with our little girl, and i appreciate my boys more than ever through having her [but that is another story ! ]

solo · 23/07/2008 00:29

I had sex on the Sunday morning and ov'd on the Thursday ->GIRL

Moonlit · 23/07/2008 00:14

Hi Ladies,

The book recommended by Litterbug is excellent.

I know two family members who have used it.

One has two girls and two boys

The other has two girls and then a boy

AND they BOTH used this book.

I have this book to, but I currently have fertility issues, but i will definitely use it when the time is right!

Good luck!

Original poster
insywinsyspider · 22/07/2008 22:22

litterbug - congrats! I would love to find myself in your situation in a few months time I think I can imagine how it must feel, I keeping hoping we'll get there too
I'd love to have a look at the book (even though it was pot luck for you in the end! maybe some things are meant to be...)
email is [email protected] as I can't CAT you (theres goes my anonimity - if anyone knows who I am in real life... please keep this to yourself!)

sars87 - will pass it on after I've had a look if you like

pgwithnumber3 - I'm sure I would be happy with another boy but I need to make sure iykwim, thats why I needed to come on here and talk about it, kind of put it all in order and then get on with it! I think it is all luck but I think if I try a 'method' (maybe not a military opperation tho) at least I'll think I did something to swing the odds in my favour

dinny - think its 5 days before ov for a girl... need to have a proper look at that tho!

OP posts:
pgwithnumber3 · 20/07/2008 10:27

I think there is only so much you can do, pure pot luck at what you end up with but I can understand a woman's desire to have a girl. I have 2 DD's and would love a boy! We could have swapped Litterbug had you had another DS!

Hope you end up with a little girl eventually but I am sure even if you have another boy, you will be equally as happy.

Congratulations Litterbug!

fanjolina · 20/07/2008 10:14

My friend did EVERYTHING advisable to get a girl - only eating certain foods for months in advance, sex only at the right time in her cycle, douching with lemon first (can't remember the rest, but it was like a military operation)

9 months later she had DS4

sars87 · 20/07/2008 10:09

Litterbug, after all this wait you will not take it in. She will be here before you realise that is actually your little girl. So happy for you. Well let me know what she says.

Litterbug · 19/07/2008 20:30

I am over the moon actually! If not a little shocked still!

Litterbug · 19/07/2008 20:30

Sars if incy doesn't want it you are welcome to it

Ill just see what she says first x

sars87 · 19/07/2008 20:17

Litterbug that books looks great, I bet you are over the moon?? Hope all goes well, you can start buying pink now. xx

dinny · 19/07/2008 20:13

how long before ovulation is it for a girl?

Litterbug · 19/07/2008 20:08

Hiya,

I know how you feel.

I have 2 sons and was TTC a girl, i actully got pregnant 'by accident' on a month i didn't expect to

I just found out its a girl

that was pure chance, but was planning on using the shettles method...

I have a book here on shettles gender selection I can post you if you want?

its this one and its makes ALOT of sense!

leave your email if you wnat it x

sars87 · 19/07/2008 20:02

I have two really lovely amazing daughters. I had a terrible relationship with my own mother and worried so much about how i'd bond with them but its been amazing. However, I have always had my heart set on a boy, but I am so grateful of what I am given. And if i go on to have another girl then I'll be so happy with that. but i do understand your thoughts and the way you feel. Its hard to explain to others and i get judge loads for it but you can't help your feelings. It doesn't mean I love my lovely girls any less.

Original poster
insywinsyspider · 17/07/2008 22:30

don't get me wrong I love my boys to bits, I wouldn't change ds2 for the world and I actually wasn't that disappointed he was a boy, its more I feel the pressure is on now to have a girl as its my last baby, I kind of feel if I'd had a girl already I wouldn't be too worried... its more how to reconcile the fact I might never have a girl - I can't imagine how I would feel like, I find myself envious of people with dd's - like I said I wouldn't swap my boys but I'd love to add some pink into my life and work out how not to feel jealous of people who've managed to have a dd

I've heard about the pre ovulation advice, part of me's hoping to accidently fall pg so I don't have to make the decision about when to have sex or just leave it to chance

OP posts:
frasersmummy · 17/07/2008 20:21

scientifically its easier to conceive a boy.

This is because the male sperm swim faster but the female sperm last longer.

So mamafelix is right if you have sex a few days before ovualtion then chances are the male sperm will have died off leaving the slower moving female sperm getting there "just in time"

of course if you have sex a few days before ovulation then you cut down your chances of conceiving at all

In terms of having a preference I couldnt have put it better than mamafelix

best of luck

mamafelix · 17/07/2008 20:12

Hello insy, I heard that having sex a few days before you ovulate is more likely to result in a girl than a boy but unfortunately I suspect really it is all rather 50/50...

I don't think you should feel ashamed of wanting a particular gender; I suspect many people have a preference though they would deny it. When I was told I was having a boy I was a bit disappointed - only for a minute, mind - but it was genuine disappointment, as I'd pictured having a little girl. Of course I quickly adapted to having a boy and wouldn't change it now!

I suspect if you have a boy you may always 'miss' the girl you didn't have, but you'll love and look after the boy just as well. My advice is take your chances and just try not to resent a boy (if you get one) for not being a girl. You'll be alright I'm sure.