hello hello . I am returned from my mamoth holiday and a bit later back into the country than I thought, because DH booked the flights and I thought we were back on Tuesday, but I got that wrong and we didn't reach Heathrow until 5.30am this morning . It was a 13 hour flight, but we got an upgrade!!! . It was bliss, and we could lie back in flat beds and watch films until dropping off under a snowy duvet for a healthy 8 hours of kip. It's a hard life being Mr and Mrs Gorgon . We did a real "get away from it all break" (deliberately to avoid work) so we didn't have internet access at all and there was so much to catch up on here.
I was so excited at being back on MN again and "seeing" all my WIMBEWAIF friends, but there has been so much going on . Both and very news.
Scary - am stunned and so, so upset for you and that it was another ectopic . It seems like the cruelest of things to happen to you and I am gutted, really gutted, that such a lovely person as you has this happen.
I saw that you had an operation yesterday and if you can bear to be on here, I just wanted to say you have been in my thoughts all morning since I read your post (two days late, I am so sorry) and I hope that the operation went ok and you are recovering from the physical pains. Please let us know how you are doing, both physically and emotionally. We are all here for you. I don't know where to begin typing things here that don't sound like crass platitudes, but things will get better. If you want to meet up for a drink and a rant, if it helps, when you have recovered, I am always about. Take good care of yourself and I hope work are being great
Bucky - you sound like you've had a rough old time of it too in the two weeks I have caught up on. The paragraph you wrote about all the agony, emotional turmoil and frustrations and your feelings about TTC should be framed and put at the top of all long term TTC threads, because you summed the everything up so perfectly for me and everyone. Sometimes I think we should all write a collaborative book together - all the WIMBEWAIF-ers, maybe extracts from our threads and throughts, because I don't know how I would have got through the last 20 months or so without you all and Mumsnet. You guys keep me (relatively ) sane.
Have you called the IVF clinic in Norway yet? Norway sounds excellent. There was someone on one of the long term TTC threads here (I have post-holiday brain and I can't remember who now, but maybe LondonLottie or CityAngel on the TTC#1 Since Forever thread or the Assisted Conception thread? ) who was in touch with an excellent IVF facility in Sweden and was really impressed by their professionalism. It sounds like a really positive step to call them and also to get the bottom of the fybroid question with the NHS here. Get the run away doctor to answer some questions. Have you had any more trouble with your mean and nasty chav neighbour about Finn? If no-one else is complaining about barking, there can't be much of an issue, but I'd have been very rattled by someone being so agressive. Horrible for you.
DG - If you are reading this thread, I have a wee tear in my eye about being a cyber-auntie . It doesn't seem 5 minutes since we were sitting around discussing our lack of TTC luck and now you have your gorgeous Alfredo. I am off the check his photos on Facebook the minute I finish typing this out! I am so thrilled for you - really, really thrilled. It's the best back from holiday news!
MOB - that is fabulous news about the ICSI and the results from the clinic . You will be way ahead of me and I will have to come to you for advice on it when my turn comes (more later on that ). I had a feeling that everything would be fine for you . from what I read, they only need a tiny handful of happy swimmers for ICSI, so I was sure there are more than enough, even with a low sperm count, for ICSI. I am delighted for you
Big welcome to readyforno2! Hope you get a big fat BFP this month. What are you doing to improve chances - I am always on the look out for new TTC tips.
lou - any luck this month? When is AF due for you?
As for me, AF arrived on the last day on my holiday, three days early . I had my hopes up a little to be honest, that this would be my month . DH and I did "it" A LOT this month, we wewre having such a good break (everything seemed to be perfect) and then about 5 days before AF was due I got some spotting. Oh, and burst into tears at a book and noticed my nails were rather strong and long . I NEVER get any spotting during a cycle (can't remember a single occasion), so worked myself up into a delerious frenzy of excitement, assumed it was an implantation bleed, became rediculously happy, refused glasses of wine and prawn salads and waited until I could get back from trecking through the jungle to get a Clearblue. But, erm, it wasn't to be for us (again) . AF arrived and, when it did, it was the period from HELL. Not much fun on a long flight. I also had a bit of a breakdown and was howling away in the hotel. I cried myself out this time. DH was really kind, but he finds too much female emotion a bit disconcerting and he held me for ages, but he gets uptight because quietly he thinks that I blame him, even though I said over and over how much he meant to me and that I didn't.
This TTC stuff is so bl**dy hard!!! I think this has been the toughest AF for me so far and I am so emotional. I got a mysterious email from my best friend saying she had been trying to call me with some news. I am pretty sure I can guess what the news is and I am feeling so fragile that I have been a bad, bad friend and not responded to her email, because I don't think i can bear her telling me what I think she is going to say . Then I got into the flat this morning and waiting on the doormat was my rather brisk referral letter for IVF. I start drug treatment in January at the Hammersmith Hospital with the first cycle in February. Happy New Year GorgonsGin.
So now I am scared as well as fragile and also my job security is looking a little bleak....I had a run in with my boss just before my holiday, we are very quiet at the moment due to the market downturn and suddenly there are a few things that I noticed this morning that makes me think I am vulnerable. We call my boss Delores Umbrage (if you've seen the Harry Potter films, you can guess what she is like ). What a mess .
Eek, sorry, it's another me me me rant (and a long one too!)and I am only just back here this morning .
Thanks for being fabulous everyone. You are The BEST!