Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Does anyone want to share their wisdom on having a third, I have so many issues

36 replies

mosschops30 · 09/07/2008 18:44

Ok, so have been feeling pretty broody for about a week now. Have discussed it with dh and he seems up for no.3.

Now I have lots of problems to do with this and just want you wise lot to sort me out because really theyre not that important they just niggle me.

Me and dh havent had the best year, in fact its been really shit, with us nearly splitting about 3 times. No for anything major, neither of us have been unfaithful or stopped loving each other its just days to day stuff and general pissing each other off. When we have considered splitting its been pretty scary thinking about being on my own with 2 children, how would I feel with 3??
Also I have huge body issues, it took me about 18 months to get my figure back after ds, am now back into a size 8 and go to the gym and classes regularly, Im not sure how I'd cope with being pregnant again, body wise?
How different is it to the first two, does your body ever recover after 3 babies? Is it always a bigger baby, is labour better or worse?

Lots more questions but will leave it at that for now TIA

OP posts:
OurHamsterisevil · 09/07/2008 20:51

Gigglewitch, I do feel I will regret it if we don't try. DH has said that too

OurHamsterisevil · 09/07/2008 20:49

Wow, there seems to be so many people going through the big decision of whether to increase to 3 kids. I am too.

My main worry is speed of labour, not a usual one I suppose. DS1 4 hrs, DS2 1hr 45, so I do worry what would happen next time.

Lots of people seem to have positive things to say about having 3 though. If I decide we can afford it I think we will go for it. Remarkably DS1 would like another baby to dribble all over his toys

gigglewitch · 09/07/2008 20:38

I can see where you all are in your heads, as it were, we always knew we wanted a family - thus no1 decided on, and that we wanted more than one - so no2 was also an easy decision. no3 however felt like a totally different can of worms, with 'timing' and all kinds of stuff, especially the other 2 dc to take into account so a harder "decision" iyswim. We got down to the 'well if we are talking about it we both want it and if we both want it then we'll regret it if we don't try '

theboob · 09/07/2008 20:35

the best thing ever,easy birth smaller baby,mine also went down in size ,i would love another baby,i found weight hard to lose after num 2,fell off after num 3,money issues are a little tighter but so worth it ,and if your dc are a bit older its so much easier my dc love their little brother

scorpio1 · 09/07/2008 20:32

I have found 3 less hard than the jump from 1-2 personally.

Body issue - yup, me too. have always been a 6/8 - 3 weeks after birth i was back in my 8 clothes - BF is fab for that.

My baby was 8lb 9oz, other dc were 6lb 11 and 8lb 1, quicker labour, VERY forceful iyswim. Had a HB for the first time - best thing ever

notnowbernard · 09/07/2008 20:30

I am truly split also

Half of me has that biological desire (longing?) to have another baby. I know dp would be up for it. I know it would 'all be alright in the end' if it were to be a bit wobbly for a while

But the other half thinks "but it's so lovely now, getting a bit easier"... why disrupt everything, IYKWIM?

And can't afford it and don't have the space

gigglewitch · 09/07/2008 20:29

ooooh am i the only one answering ?
no3 was..
my only 'normal' pg, thus the "best" (of a bad job, you understand...)
easiest birth, shortest labour etc (once it actually got going, that is)
smallest baby, mine went 1lb smaller each time

she is fab. family complete.
We were also convinced we wanted two. then errrr, three
best thing i ever did.

But no more, I am terminally knackered but it is good.

luceyd · 09/07/2008 20:23

Can I join! Convinced I wanted two but for the last two years have flirted with the idea of having three. I range from an overwhelming desire to have another to looking at my two and thinking I should quit while i'm ahead!

Pro's - large family (only child so love the idea of this) - Another baby / toddler etc, love the pre school years and have great fun with them - Love the idea of three older children as well.

Cons- finances, not on a day to day basis but holidays, trips out etc. - Body issues, like you Mosschops I have just about got back to normal (if you ever can) and resent the thought of putting on weight. - Time, can you really give enough?

My age gap would be at least 4 years between the youngest and 6 from the oldest - Although maybe easier on a practical level will this leave any 3rd detached from the other two? Also if we go somewhere will DH and I always have to do independantly as the older two will want to do different things than the younger one???

I have seriously thought about therapy for this one ...!

Original poster
mosschops30 · 09/07/2008 19:00

perhaps we should just go for it ladies

OP posts:
crokky · 09/07/2008 18:57

Also in similar position with different issues!!

geisha · 09/07/2008 18:52

Will watch this thread with interest mosschops. Am in similar position but with different issues.