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Conception

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Original poster

Does anyone want to share their wisdom on having a third, I have so many issues

36 replies

mosschops30 · 09/07/2008 18:44

Ok, so have been feeling pretty broody for about a week now. Have discussed it with dh and he seems up for no.3.

Now I have lots of problems to do with this and just want you wise lot to sort me out because really theyre not that important they just niggle me.

Me and dh havent had the best year, in fact its been really shit, with us nearly splitting about 3 times. No for anything major, neither of us have been unfaithful or stopped loving each other its just days to day stuff and general pissing each other off. When we have considered splitting its been pretty scary thinking about being on my own with 2 children, how would I feel with 3??
Also I have huge body issues, it took me about 18 months to get my figure back after ds, am now back into a size 8 and go to the gym and classes regularly, Im not sure how I'd cope with being pregnant again, body wise?
How different is it to the first two, does your body ever recover after 3 babies? Is it always a bigger baby, is labour better or worse?

Lots more questions but will leave it at that for now TIA

OP posts:

leaky · 07/08/2008 21:51

Have just read your thread very late in the day I know. I don't want to come across rude or whatever but shouldn't your main concern be your relationship with your DH. If you've nearly split up 3x & you're wondering how you would cope on your own with 3, I personally think you need to have a very secure, loving relationship & sort that out first.

geisha · 21/07/2008 20:06

Never got my figure back after dd's so that is no reason .
Are there any mnetters who grew up in a family of 3 children or more who wished that they didn't have so many siblings? Do you remember your parents strugging to give attention to all of you or was it happy household? Don't know how relevant and certainly grasping at straws, but just wondering.......

Heated · 17/07/2008 21:09

I know I would like another child, not just another baby. Dh would agree like a shot.

However, the financial implications of 3 lots of maternity wages within 5 yrs would be an issue when we're already looking forward to the wage increase once I go back f/t when youngest starts school in 2 yrs time. One, if not both cars would need replacing and those far off plans to extend the house would become more pressing.

But then I tell myself we'd cope, it's only money...& I'd look back with abiding regret that we didn't have the 3rd. But then another voice says putting us under financial pressure is stupid and I should just be v grateful for the two fab dcs we already have.

rainbowdays · 17/07/2008 20:55

I have just had my third three months ago, and already wanting number 4!!!! So it has to be good !

But if you want some reasons not to go for number 3:
It was my worst pregnancy and heaviest baby (7.12,7.3 this one then 9lbs!!!) Labour was very fast and furious, never made it out of the house.

It is much easier to navigate around shops and resturants with 2 rather than 3.

Pelvic floor has gone AWOL now, occurred during 3rd pregnancy, still searching for those muscles.

Family tickets are all for 2 adults and 2 children, very annoying to have to buy an extra child ticket.

Right having said all that I love our third and so glad we went for it, so hope you all are able to decide if you haven't already!!!

luceyd · 17/07/2008 17:04

1dilemma · 12/07/2008 00:27

OK
I'll start by saying I have 3 and wouldn't change it and we're even thinking about 4 (always wanted 4) but our experience with 3 is making us reconsider!

Personally I found 2-3 much harder than 1-2 2 you can control one in pushchair one to hold/catch/carry whatever.3 you've lost all chance they know you're outnumbered and they go in different directions! There is more cooking more washing more little people in need of attention who can't get it etc etc 1-2 I never had that feeling.

Back in jeans within one week after first but still 2 stone overweight and 3rd is more then 12 months! (I do comfort eat however)

Third baby was smallest but ended up being induced early for probs and my labours were quicker than whoever it was posted earlier (sorry you're on another page!)

However I never wanted 3 due to feeling they would gang up (and they do on the baby terribly) however baby is worst sleeper and eater and a terrible climber and biter and wont stop breastfeeding

However we're all different!

abbierhodes · 12/07/2008 00:16

I am in same position as lots of you. I have 2 boys, and just feel like everything is gettin easier...youngest coming up to 18 months...and along comes that broody feeling! I am very very torn. Until a couple of weeks ago we were adamant that we didn't want another! I think it may be a case of choosing between my heart and my head!

luckywinner · 11/07/2008 21:17

pls can I join the shall i shan't i club? Mosschops if it makes you feel any better one of my worries is whether I will get my figure back. I have just about got away with pre-pregnancy tummy after 2 but so worried would be pushing it a bit if I did it again.
But I can't bear the idea of never being pregnant again, or never having a newborn. My dh is not so sure but I feel my powers of persuasion may be strong enough if I make up my own mind. My other worry is I have just got dc2 walking and talking and almost done with my double buggy, and am starting to get a bit of my life back as it feels I have spent the past 3 years either being pregnant or bfing.

honeyapple · 11/07/2008 21:05

hiya-

I have 3- 9yrs/5yrs and 8mths
Best thing ever (of course) My labour was actually longer than 2nd... and third was the biggest baby 8.4lbs. As for body- I am lucky I guess and am now back to my fighting weight of 8.5 stone- it is possible. BF definitely helps IMO. I dont think you would be able to tell that I had 3 kids (still looking good in a bikini!) Would quite like more but think that would be pushing it...

(hello scorpio!)

You wont regret having a third- but you might regret NOT having a third. Good luck!

Original poster

mosschops30 · 11/07/2008 18:53

i know that feeling, about 2 hours after ds was born I thought 'i could do this again'

so has anyone with 3 managed to get their figure back. I know it sounds shallow but I would be devastated if my body never went back to normal

Im just so worried about getting pg and then changing my mind when its too late. Ive been through this on and off for about a year or two. When I want no.3 I want it so bad, but when I dont, oh god I cant imagine anything worse

OP posts:

Nemoandthefishes · 11/07/2008 18:25

oh and to kilty..I was broody day after all mine were born hence there only being 12mth gap between the dds and only 3.2yrs from eldest to youngest with a 15wk mc in the middle...lol
Must admit after DD2 my broodiness took a little longet to kick in as she has been very hard work and very demanding but we are nearly out of that..I hope..so would love one more

Nemoandthefishes · 11/07/2008 18:21

oh I love having 3 even if my third is the hardest work out of them all. I would love one more...
In answer to questions it is different and is not as balanced as 2 are so one will be left out/alone sometimes but to be honest it works ok as they get some alone time...however they do all play really nicely and love having a trio.
Never got my body back but might be more to do with 4 pregnancies in under 3yrs,,and never having much of a body to begin with
DD1 and DD2 both weighed exactly the same when born[6.14] where ds was 9lb.1 born.

JLo2 · 11/07/2008 18:18

Clearly No 3 means I can't spell!

JLo2 · 11/07/2008 18:17

I have number 3 and obviuosly wouldn't change him for the world!
In answer to your 'issues':
My labour was a similar length to the other two (LONG!). He was not the heaviest (pfb was!). My other 2 were early and he was a day late!

Original poster

mosschops30 · 11/07/2008 10:01

If we did go for No. 3, ds would be 4.5 and dd would be 13
so i suppose that cancels out the worry about days out and stuff because we rarely get something that they will both enjoy (i just took dd to alton towers, ds goes to the park etc).
I would be grateful for the quicker labour, dd was 25 hours, ds a more pleasing 6.5 hours.

Oh i dont know, think Im gonna sit on it for now, realistically i would need to be pg by January 09, so I have a bit of time

OP posts:

osborne · 09/07/2008 21:08

Have three under four and its lovely, but i do have a couple of hours help each morning. One to two much harder, than two to three. WAs depressed after 2 but fine with 3, also labour longer but more better with 3rd.
Once you get to know them you can't help but love them.
Woudl kill for a week off though!

GivePeasAChance · 09/07/2008 21:01

Our hamster is evil too

gigglewitch · 09/07/2008 20:58

get on with it then woman....

notnowbernard · 09/07/2008 20:58

(about the regret at not trying)

ilovemydog · 09/07/2008 20:58

Oh stop all this positive stuff about number 3!

kiltycoldbum · 09/07/2008 20:58

i want another (to make 3) had csection 5 1/2 months ago, how soon is too soon? really? and also found out recently my father was a twin, would i be anymore likely to have twins even though last 2 havent been?

how can i be broody when i have a 5 1/2 month old baby sleeping away in his cot!?

we do want a big family though. im one of 6.

notnowbernard · 09/07/2008 20:57

Gigglewitch - I mean that the last line of your last post spoke VOLUMES of good sense!

You are in danger of convincing me to go for no.3

gigglewitch · 09/07/2008 20:56

sorry nnb

gigglewitch · 09/07/2008 20:55

btw at the risk of causing you lot to start a population increase i agree with scorpio that the jump to three is easier than 1 to 2.

notnowbernard · 09/07/2008 20:54

OOh, Gigglewitch...

You've thrown a spanner in the works now!

Dp has said he wants another one. I am pretty sure I want another one. Sadly it is the horrible materialistic/practicality/financial side of it that is the major hurdle

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