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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

First time TTC?!! Let's get through this together!!

980 replies

DawnAS · 03/07/2008 09:28

Hi All,

This is a difficult time for most women (and men) I think.

Certainly for me, I've waited a long time to get to this stage , having not met Mr Right until the age of 31. Now 34 and got married 2 months ago and now want to complete the family!

So, just started "trying" for a baby and due to my impatient nature, have already started using Ovulation Kits. (Probably not a good idea). I also did the Female Fertility Test and that seemed to have a good result aswell.

I was on Dianette for 8 years and came off of it 3 years ago. My cycles became regular again but every 5 weeks instead of 4. I had previously come off of the pill for 6 months and my cycles were regular, so I guess all this is a good sign.

Anyone else had similar experiences and fallen pregnant quickly? I know everyone's different but any good news stories help move us all along!! .

xx

OP posts:
summerbird · 01/08/2008 09:51

eth i dont think one glass of wine is going to hurt you or potential mini eth. if that is what you need to calm your flying nerves then i would just do it and have a small glass. the medics dont advise against alcohol completely just absolute moderation.

have a wonderful weekend and see you next week for our AF due dates (0r not as may be!!!)

flirty i think your advice was very well put and balanced. Bonifacio i completely echo flirtys advice and sincerely hope you and DH can sort this out - best of luck!

bluestarlavender · 01/08/2008 09:44

Flirty - great advice!!

Eth - I'm completely spaced out!! I wish I could consider it a symptom...but I know it's not...I haven't even OV'ed this month yet!! I dread to think what Dawn and the other PG ladies are going through exhaustion-wise! But I am really hopeful for you this month!! It definitely sounds like something! I wouldn't worry too much about the alcohol...the bean won't have a placenta to share your blood yet!!

Big yawn wave to everyone else!

BSL x

eth37 · 01/08/2008 09:30

Morning ladies,

BOnifacio nice to see you back. I'm sorry you had another evening like that. I know it's not the same, but this month DH once pulled out just before (sorry) and I was really upset -- he said it was honestly like he was on automatic pilot (we used the 'reliable' withdrawal method for about a year) so is it poss this was similar?

BSL hope you're not too exhausted....

Dawn thanks so much for telling me your experience of implantation. I really really don't know what to think. I'm still having the cramping a bit, but not as bad as all of yesterday afternoon and evening. I ovulated 7 or 8 days ago and my period is due next Wednesday. I just don't get that there was so little blood. It was literally 2 spots on the toilet paper, no more. I read on a website you can have the cramps without bleeding or the bleeding without the cramps, so maybe this is just a combination?! I guess we'll see. I still have no idea how I'm going to get on a plane at 6pm tonight without a glass of wine though....

FlirtyThirty · 01/08/2008 09:23

Bonifacio - . Some tough love coming up...be warned...I realise it is the most frustrating thing in the world to hear just now, but I really think you need to relax a little bit. You are 100% wrapped up in having a baby NOW...your DH, much as he may love you and even the thought of having a baby with you, is clearly less pressed that this must happen immediately (for whatever reason). I personally think that it is really important that you are both 100% behind the idea before you go any further...things will get more difficult (however lovely too) when Baby Bonifacio is around and you have to both be ready for it...

Your DH doesn't sound stupid...just a bit naive on the timings of getting PG. I don't think all women know the monthly conception window is so small until they start trying to have a baby...let alone men. I thik he is in the majority not minority in thinking you have all month. In fairness though, if you have talked him through this, he should be better informaed...and telling you that you are wrong/misinformed etc is not a nice way to speak to you. I think giving him the conception book to read is a good idea...but you will have to allow him time to do this; not insist he reads it the moment you hand it over. For whatever reason he feels under pressure/unsure (consciously or subconsciously), and it's important to get to the bottom of that before you go any further...

I would be heartbroken if DH had pulled out at the last minute...but you really do need to find out why he did so. Give him the space and ability to answer you honestly. If he loves you and knows all you want is a baby, he may feel usurped/used/worried for the future...all sorts of emotions. He will be worried, even ashamed, to tell you because he loves you and doesn't want to let you down. You must talk about this, as calmly as is possible. Let him to some talking.

Also, I would really advise against sending him a million emails at work...he is already working long hours and in a stressful and busy environment - this will only add to his inbox and add to the pressure he feels. Talk to him about this in leisure time (evenings and weekends) not whilst he's trying to work. Trust me - I know what it's like to be on the receiving end. He will not have the time or be in the right mental place to fully take in anything you're sending whilst he's fire-fighting in the office. It will only annoy/frustrate/upset/pressurise him more.

Why not spend half an hour writing a letter to DH, telling him all the things you feel and asking all the questions you would like to know answers about... It will help consolidate your thoughts...you don't ever need to give him the letter (though you can), but it may help you when you sit down and chat to him to have sorted out what you think and feel.

I REALLY hope you can chat this through with him and make a plan that you are both happy with. Sorry your sad...

Flirty x

summerbird · 01/08/2008 08:55

Bonifacio good to see you back - we thought you had left us! i agree with heverhoney and BSL i think you need to have a good chat with DH. I also think you should restrict the baby talk to outside the bedroom too as he probably wants the bonking to be just that and not about baby dancing (even if he does want a baby).

I think he is definitely nervous about the whole thing otherwise he wouldnt have held back last night. Try to reassure him. I hope it all goes well - and stay with us for our bit of moral support!

heverhoney1 · 01/08/2008 08:45

morning all! i am trying to send this from my phone so hope it works. sorry for dodgy spelling grammar and lack of paragraphs! bon- i think there are 2 sides to this. 1 Men ARE that dumb! i had this chat with dp. he said he thought it could happen at any time of the month as they kind of skip over that info at school- prob fear of giving boys a free reign if you get my meaning. BUT! this does not explain the pulling out. now everyone knows you need to do THAT to make babies. I think that you do need to chat. it is possible he does want to have babies but after spending a whole life trying not to do it when it comes down to it he is just a bit scared and out of his depth. try talking to him about his fears and keep calm. easier said than done i know. good luck xxx

Original poster
DawnAS · 01/08/2008 08:07

Oh Eth, I'm so sorry that I didn't reply to this yesterday. Let me tell you my experience.

About 6 or 7 days after ovulation, I got a little bit of brown CM on the Sunday night. Now I used to get that occasionally when I was on the pill but obviously when you've been TTC you tend to analyse everything. So I thought that instead, my AF was coming a week early, so either way I was pleased because there was also a chance that it was an Implantation Bleed, but if it was AF arriving early, my cycle was changing to 28 days which would have been fab (as is normally 35). So, didn't think too much of it but then on Monday morning, I had a bit of spotting, but just in the morning (when the hormones do the most work). The same then on Tuesday morning. All the time with mild cramps. But later on the Tuesday morning, the cramps got really bad, to the extent that I had to take a couple of paracetomol (not like me at all). I thought AF was definitely there and went to the loo, nothing!

Within a couple of days after that, my boobs started to get really sore (again, never had that before, even on AF). The following Tuesday (last week) I did a test and I was PG.

As you can see, since then things haven't gone quite so swimmingly for me, but nevertheless, I am still 5 weeks PG (and hopefully that length of time will continue to increase!!).

So, from your description, you're suffering exactly what I did from Implantation. The only slight difference is that because my CM is so thick and heavy all the time, it might take longer to come out of me so may last longer. The doctor even said that I'm still having Implementation now which is what the spotting is. I don't know whether people that suffer from Implantation Bleed also suffer more spotting, but it might be a suggestion, so don't panic too much if you get the odd spot early on.

I don't want to build your hopes up too much, but to at least tell you of my experience. When is your AF due and when did you OV?

xxxx

OP posts:
bluestarlavender · 01/08/2008 07:48

Morning all,

Bonifacio - good to see you haven't left us!! I was worried! I'm sorry about last night! I definitely agree you and DP need to talk. I also agree with you that it seems like he's trying to stall (altho' it may be some naïvety on his part too!) But why else would he have pulled out at the crucial moment?

Thanks also for the info on flying...obviously I'm not PG yet...but I am doing quite a few long haul flights (all confirmed) up til the beginning of Feb 09. this sets my mind at rest!!

More later...in the office again today...had to get up at 4.45am and am feeling terrible. Despite my trying to cut down on caffeine rule, I will be functioning on coffee today

BSL x

Bonifacio · 01/08/2008 06:36

I had written a lovely long reply, saying hello to all of you and commenting on what you had said etc, then the pc farking crashed and I lost it.... Can i be bothered to write it all again...... I'll mention the bit about flying because I actually know the answer

Flights less than 8 hours - during first 28 weeks without a medical certificate - from 29th to 36th week with a medical certificate - not after 36 weeks.
Flights more than 8 hours - during first 28 weeks without a medical certificate - from 29th to 34th week with a medical certificate - not after 34 weeks.
Hope that helps.

So i'll update on me, last night went just as badly though it started well, or so I thought. DP got in we watched a film then went to bed. Refused sex again. I finally managed to persuade him otherwise and just at the crucial moment he refuses to (sorry tmi warnig) ejaculate inside me. I'm gobsmacked and have no idea what to say but neverthless comply with what he wants. So afterwards I say "you know your sperm needs to go inside me for us to get pregnant" and he says we have loads of time yet, to which I reply no we don't this was my last day ov'ing etc etc. And he says (i'm shcoked he's so dumb actually) "we've got the rest of the month" I have spent months explaining to him the intricate details of how a baby is made and the bit he chooses to forget it the bit about ovulating!! (the most farking important part) he then says (cue me being gobsmacked again) "I think your wrong, who says this is true, I wasn't aware of this" I didn't know what to say so instead of thinking of an articulated answer he got "Oh my got ffs you fool, only every conception pregnancy baby making expert in the world" (does he not remember me screaming 3 days at him a few nights ago ) So my thought is either he is actually dumb enough to think that you have the whole month to get pg or he is stalling me. I think its the latter. So this weekend is going to involve a hell of a lot of talking. And I have sent him about a million emails explaining how you make a baby, lets just hope his PA doesn't read them!!

So I think I am going to give him my Mirriam Stoppard conception pregnancy and birth book. And force suggest he reads it!

bluestarlavender · 31/07/2008 22:10

Hi guys,

Just got in and saw all the posts.

Eth - don't panic!! I agree with Crunchy and Summerbird, it could well be a implantation bleed!! How exciting!! The cramps probably go along with that!

Got to go and get ready for this weekend...surfing and camping! I hate packing!

BSL x

eth37 · 31/07/2008 21:42

Sorry crunchy - I don't know why but I didn't see your post 'til now! Thanks ladies... I think 'cos it was literally 3 spots of blood on the tissue and not a big 'af'type thing, it freaked me out! Now I just have seriously bad menstrual-type cramps. Think I will ring the Dr in the morning.
It is DH's surprise birthday tomorrow - I am meeting him from work and we are flying to COlogne for the weekend... Maybe I shouldn't drink if there is a chance it could be implantation - in which case, I pity any easyJet staff on my plane!! (I am neurotic about flying, as well as anything bodily!!) Thanks girls

summerbird · 31/07/2008 21:38

eth you are not hysterical, i would be equally concerned but as crunchy says it could be a little eth burrowing away in there!

That is why MN is here - for like minded laydees like us to freak out about things together!

eth37 · 31/07/2008 21:05

summerbird thanks for replying, sorry if I sounded a bit hysterical. The only way to describe it is like menstrual cramps but worse, and then for some reason when I saw spots of blood on the tissue I thought it was coming from my bladder... Nothing since. I tend to freak about anything health related and no-one is home to talk to about it!

crunchynutter · 31/07/2008 20:57

Eth- i dont know from experience but from what others have said it sounds like it could be implantation! If so thats great news! I would have a warm bath and try to relax- see if the pain has eased by the morning and if it hasn't then perhaps pop to the doctors? I dont think there is anything to be scared about though hun- either AF is coming a little early this month or you have a little baby making a home stay positive and look after yourself xx

crunchynutter · 31/07/2008 20:44

Dawn- i'm so happy to hear from you! I think its amazing what the psychic said- stay optimistic! Pip will be as strong as his/her mom dnt you worry! xx

summerbird · 31/07/2008 20:41

eth i really dont know but please do not be scared, you are due AF just after me so maybe it is implantation? I have never had tat before so i am hoping the others will be able to shed light on it.

If it gets worse why not ring NHS Direct? I really think it might either be bit of indigestion or implantation.

Relax and have a bubble bath.

eth37 · 31/07/2008 20:36

Dawn - I'm glad you went on reasonably well today - I had been thinking about you and wondering how you were getting on.... It sounds like you are feeling much more positive, which is great.

OK, can someone please help me! I actually feel sick thinking about this. All afternoon I had weird cramps, and actually bought some cystitis relief sachets but it said not suitable for pregnant women! ha - so didn't take one, just in case.... Am rather prone to UTI-type things. Anyway - TMI alert - just had a wee and when I wiped there were literally 2 spots of pinky-red blood.Now, I actually felt physically sick. Cramps really hurt now, like something is wringing inside my stomach. Do you think this is implantation?????? Oh mygod, i am shaking so much i can hardly type. Please someone answer this, DH is at a work do and my mum is on holiday and I really feel scared!!!!!!!

summerbird · 31/07/2008 20:34

Dawn I just read your psychic story on the Bonkers thread and was almost in tears, i am no great believer but did go to a really good one a few years ago who was absolutely spot on with a lot of things. I truly hope that Pip isnt going anywhere, and is trying to reassure you! Have a relaxing evening and enjoy your book.

Original poster
DawnAS · 31/07/2008 20:23

Hey girls,

Thanks heverhoney and summerbird, I will definitely let you know how I get on. I hope they choose a different arm to take blood from though because I've got a nasty bruise from today!!

Also suffering terribly with my kidneys tonight after having to have a full bladder for the scan, not used to that as I don't often drink a lot so it's caused me some real pain tonight! Oh well, nothing that a good night's sleep won't help!

Having an early night now girls with a good book.

Catch you all tomorrow.

xx

OP posts:
summerbird · 31/07/2008 20:20

Dawn it does sound positive, you poor love it has been rather an emotional rollercoaster for you (and all of us by proxy!) but i am keeping everything crossed for you. let us know how you get on this Saturday. xx

heverhoney1 · 31/07/2008 19:52

Dawn I am so pleased it all sounds positive for you!!!

Original poster
DawnAS · 31/07/2008 19:41

Thanks Flirty, I think you're right. I definitely feel more positive and also the fact that they saw an amniotic sac (still in the right place so definitely not an MC at this stage) is positive. And considering that ectopic pregnancies are 1 in 100 and I've never had any PID illnesses, I would be very unlucky if it turned out to be an EP.

So DH and I are keeping everything crossed right now!!

xx

OP posts:
FlirtyThirty · 31/07/2008 17:35

Dawn Delighted for you! I know you're not out of the woods yet...but it does all sound optimistic... Big hug!

Oh, adn whatever anyone's view of psychics...if she has made you relax and smile...then it was more than worth the money!

Flirty x

Original poster
DawnAS · 31/07/2008 17:31

Hello All,

Well, I finally went for a scan today. All a bit in vain really because they couldn't really see anything!! I'm literally only 5 weeks pregnant so although they could see an Amniotic Sac (which I guess is a good sign), there is a risk that the pregnancy could be ectopic (although the Doc did say that it was highly unlikely....), so they did a blood test. I have to have another one on Saturday morning and then they'll compare the results to ensure that the HCG levels are increasing. If they are, the pregnancy is progressing and they'll scan again in a couple of weeks. If they're not, the baby will miscarry itself as the HCG levels continue to fall. Really scary stuff, but I'm secretly optimistic.

If you pop onto the bonkers thread, you can read about my psychic session with a clairvoyant last night which has definitely given me hope and is allowing me to relax slightly....

Hope all you ladies are Ok.

The CM thing is a mare and I think the reason that I could work with that, is that my CM is heavy ALL THE TIME so I would probably notice changes more. Whereas for those lucky people who don't have to wear panty-liners every day, or can wear a bikini without worrying that they may look like they've wet themselves, or could go out without knickers on if they wanted to (not sure that's such a good thing....), you may not spot the changes as easily....

xxx

OP posts:
crunchynutter · 31/07/2008 16:54

Thanks xx Its hard isnt it! The wedding is 31st July and obviously we would need to book and pay pretty soon if were to get there but i kind of thought i would have a july baby (?) I figured if we concieved december thats 6months after injection was due so its possible i may be working by then! Plus it would be good work wise- dont know why its in my head i just think itll take that long! Doesnt look great for the wedding then tho!

xx