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Original poster

TTC 1st baby after recurrent loss, anyone else?

8 replies

Whattodooo22 · 15/09/2026 19:11

Looking to chat to people in the same position I suppose, so others trying for their first after previous loss. I am nervous and scared and just wondering if anyone is in the same boat. Have had previous losses chemical and MMC unfortunately. I think it has really taken all excitement and joy out of this journey for me.
I ovulated yesterday or today (not using OPK atm) this is first cycle trying after most recent loss. Anyone else in the same boat and want to keep eachother company through this time x

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Original poster
Whattodooo22 · 17/09/2026 01:34

Agathapoirot · 16/09/2026 22:21

I’ll admit I did find it quite tricky until I felt movement. But once I felt him moving around, I had something tangible to know he was okay in there! I can say I honestly did enjoy the pregnancy on the whole and don’t remember it as a bad experience.

I’m currently Ttc number 2 which is why I’m back on mumsnet. I’ve actually just had a chemical this month, and although I’m really disappointed, I don’t feel the same devastation as I did Ttc 1 as I have confidence that it will happen, as it did before. Hopefully that makes sense!

wishing you lots of luck xx

Thank you for your reply and im so sorry for your loss xx yeah I fully understand your thinking with that, you have faith your body can do it again successfully. Sending you the best of luck

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Original poster
Whattodooo22 · 17/09/2026 01:32

Jkasyu · 16/09/2026 11:39

I’m so sorry for your losses, too. It must have been so hard in particular to find out at 10 weeks (my MMC was also confirmed at 10 weeks, but I’d known from 7 weeks that it would end in miscarriage, which did make it easier I think).

Totally agree - it’s so draining and exhausting, and it really takes over your life (however much you try to not let that happen, I think it’s inevitable, especially when it goes on for so long!)

I think it’s so hard to know when you might stop TTC or how you might feel. I said after my first that I’d do max 5 miscarriages, but now I’ve extended that mental limit to 10, which even writing that feels crazy (holding onto hope evidently harder some days than others…!) I did have a break after my second miscarriage, it was so nice to get off the rollercoaster for a bit, so it’s good having that as an option too I guess.

Will keep my fingers crossed for you in the TWW 🤞🏼 have you got any nice plans?

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It is so tough. I know Im saying one more and Im done but I know if that will be the case and I really hope I wont have to find out to be honest. Thank you so much, I will keep mine crossed for you too x
I dont have much planned really just working Mon-Fri and I need to do some organising at home but nothing much planned, kind of wish I did as I will have too much time to think. I find it so hard to concentrate in work when ttc, I also took a break after some of the losses and I found the break such a relief but then I keep thinking Im just kicking the can down the road as they say x

OP posts:
Agathapoirot · 16/09/2026 22:21

I’ll admit I did find it quite tricky until I felt movement. But once I felt him moving around, I had something tangible to know he was okay in there! I can say I honestly did enjoy the pregnancy on the whole and don’t remember it as a bad experience.

I’m currently Ttc number 2 which is why I’m back on mumsnet. I’ve actually just had a chemical this month, and although I’m really disappointed, I don’t feel the same devastation as I did Ttc 1 as I have confidence that it will happen, as it did before. Hopefully that makes sense!

wishing you lots of luck xx

Jkasyu · 16/09/2026 11:39

Whattodooo22 · 16/09/2026 09:54

I am so very sorry for your losses. I have had 2 (possibly 3) chemicals/early losses around 6 weeks and then 1 MMC found at 10 weeks, the heartbeat had stopped at 8/9 weeks. I feel exactly the same as you, both scared of getting pregnant and of not and hopeful it will all be worth it. I am saying now that if I have another loss I am finished with ttc but I dont know in reality if that would happen. I feel so drained and exhausted by it all and the heartbreak has really taken over my life. Im on CD16 so heading into tww

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I’m so sorry for your losses, too. It must have been so hard in particular to find out at 10 weeks (my MMC was also confirmed at 10 weeks, but I’d known from 7 weeks that it would end in miscarriage, which did make it easier I think).

Totally agree - it’s so draining and exhausting, and it really takes over your life (however much you try to not let that happen, I think it’s inevitable, especially when it goes on for so long!)

I think it’s so hard to know when you might stop TTC or how you might feel. I said after my first that I’d do max 5 miscarriages, but now I’ve extended that mental limit to 10, which even writing that feels crazy (holding onto hope evidently harder some days than others…!) I did have a break after my second miscarriage, it was so nice to get off the rollercoaster for a bit, so it’s good having that as an option too I guess.

Will keep my fingers crossed for you in the TWW 🤞🏼 have you got any nice plans?

Original poster
Whattodooo22 · 16/09/2026 09:57

Agathapoirot · 15/09/2026 22:48

Just wanted to share a positive story.

I had a Mmc at 12 weeks with my first pregnancy, a chemical after that and then a totally straight forward pregnancy/delivery with a beautiful baby boy.

I can totally empathise with how you are feeling, and know that nothing I will say will make you feel better now, but hang in there, it will be worth it. Xxx

Thank you xxx I am so sorry for your losses. can I ask did you enjoy your pregnancy or was it 9 months of worry and waiting for something to go wrong? My colleague mentioned something about it being 9 months of torture and just waiting on something to go wrong all of the time/not bonding with the pregnancy, and it is something i could imagine after experiencing loss, but would hope i wouldnt feel the same if it did work out xx

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Original poster
Whattodooo22 · 16/09/2026 09:54

Jkasyu · 15/09/2026 22:15

Hello! I’m also TTC after recurrent loss (mc, then MMC, then a chemical). Most recent one was in July and today is CD1 of cycle 3 since then. Absolutely hating it all, the relentlessness of it and I’m scared of both getting pregnant and also not getting pregnant! But really trying to hold onto hope that it might be worth it one day… 🤞🏼

I am so very sorry for your losses. I have had 2 (possibly 3) chemicals/early losses around 6 weeks and then 1 MMC found at 10 weeks, the heartbeat had stopped at 8/9 weeks. I feel exactly the same as you, both scared of getting pregnant and of not and hopeful it will all be worth it. I am saying now that if I have another loss I am finished with ttc but I dont know in reality if that would happen. I feel so drained and exhausted by it all and the heartbreak has really taken over my life. Im on CD16 so heading into tww

OP posts:
Agathapoirot · 15/09/2026 22:48

Just wanted to share a positive story.

I had a Mmc at 12 weeks with my first pregnancy, a chemical after that and then a totally straight forward pregnancy/delivery with a beautiful baby boy.

I can totally empathise with how you are feeling, and know that nothing I will say will make you feel better now, but hang in there, it will be worth it. Xxx

Jkasyu · 15/09/2026 22:15

Hello! I’m also TTC after recurrent loss (mc, then MMC, then a chemical). Most recent one was in July and today is CD1 of cycle 3 since then. Absolutely hating it all, the relentlessness of it and I’m scared of both getting pregnant and also not getting pregnant! But really trying to hold onto hope that it might be worth it one day… 🤞🏼