Is this amount of disappointment normal?

As someone who is 32, has been trying for a year as of this month, and is going on a do almost nothing holiday next week this is good to hear. We had a loss on cycle 3 and nothing since so hoping our time is coming.

OP- easier said then don but try not to put too much pressure on yourself, my first 6m ttc were by far the worst due to all of the expectation and pressure. You'd think it gets worse as time goes on but it's actually got easier. It may take time, it may not. Appart from DTD in your fertile window and being reasonably healthy there's not much else you can do.

I completely understand. Looking back I wish I could have told myself to be more patient and still enjoy life during it. I was so engrossed in the fertility stuff that I sort of forgot to enjoy life still, didn't want to book holidays away etc just in case appointments were needed, even booking last minute ones didn't really sit well with me. But I wish I'd still lived life as fully and booked those holidays as I would have normally. But what's done is done and I'm so luckily to have a lovely little toddler. We're thinking about the idea of trying for another soon with the embryos we have and I really hope I can go into it a bit more relaxed and be less in my head about things. We'll see, easier said than done 😂

I completely get it. After my first IUI (same sex couple so no trying naturally, it was the first ever attempt to try and get pregnant) I balled my eyes out at it not working. Even though it was the first attempt. I think because you get so emotionally invested and my expectations were far too high. I don't think hormones around the time of an upcoming/just started period help at all. After 6 IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF we did get our lovely son, but I wish I'd let myself accept it can take time. Not that I'm saying it will take ages for you at all. It's so hard when you're in it to try and take a step back and look at the bigger picture to see how very early it is TTC wise. I hope you get your BFP very soon!

Have a look at coQ10. I know it’s horrid. I spent 8 years trying in a past relationship and nothing! Fell first try with this partner with our DD, took 7 months this time, with two chemicals in between. Ferrous sulphate I’m sure made this one stick. Good luck with your journey

Totally normal to be upset, but also totally normal for it to take a lot more than 3 months. I dont believe what that fertility specialist says at all. Take a deep breath, give yourself a lot more time. Maybe deactivate your social media for a while, try to be kind to yourself and know that many of these announcements you see those people may have been trying for months and months, went through fertility treatment or had losses etc that you do not know about not everyone shares their full story so please don't compare to anyone else xx

I tried for 8 years with my ex. It turned out the infertility was on his side. I tried for 2 years with another ex. It happened first time when I actually got pregnant with a third partner. I was 40.

Everyone's story is different.

Go to the doctor now and get checked out if you want. It's easy for us to stay stop worrying... it's harder to do.

I wish you all the best.

I used preseed, ovulation kits.... I'm not sure it helped. Relaxing helped.

And this 👏

the ovulation sticks are rubbish (imo) DTD every other day. Keep fit and healthy but remember to enjoy yourself socially too.

Try this
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pre-Seed-Fertility-Friendly-Lubricant-Multi-Use-Applicators/dp/B004382GWK

It took us ages to conceive but when we started using this I conceived instantly within 1 or 2 months. May not help everyone but worked wonders for us.

Love the stuff, it made DTD less of a chore too.

Take folic acid, manage your health and wellbeing. Good luck.

It’s not all on the woman, it takes two people to conceive a baby. Some of these women’s partners may low speed motility so it takes a few goes. Fertility is basically a game of chance, the more goes you have the better the chance of winning. Try not to get stressed or upset yet, you are very early in the process and stress can actually make things more difficult. Book a dirty weekend away, eat good food and wine, have fun and enjoy trying x

It took 2 years for my first child. For my second, it was the first time we had sex without contraception! I know it's easy to say, but you are far more likely to conceive if you are relaxed. All the best.

I can't say if it's normal but I can say I was exactly the same! My son took 2 cycles and then my daughter took 7. They were the longest 7 months of my life. I was in tears every month. And I know it's nothing compared to those struggling with infertility. But it really does become such a focus and then the month goes by sooo slowly. I don't know if it actually made a difference but the month I conceived a put up a ridiculous amount of conception-specific lube! Good luck to you. Hopefully it won't be too much longer x

There’s really no rhyme or reason for it, in my experience. I’ve been TTC since Jan 2025 (age 31 at that point), and I’ve had three miscarriages in that time. First pregnancy conceived the second month pregnancy was possible (the first month we even barely “tried”). Second pregnancy took 7 months which felt like 7 years (ft LH strips, BBT, the works). Third pregnancy took 2 months. Now have just ruled myself out of cycle two of round 4. So even in the same person, it’s clear it really varies.

I was told at a fertility clinic that 4 months is the average time to conception, so you’re still under that! If it’s financially an option for you, you could consider doing a basic work up at a clinic after eg 6 months. Ours were about £550 for a couples package and I found it reassuring.

It really is grim and stressful and hard, though - and just a case of getting through it as best you can! Good luck x

Well that statistic makes 0 sense. Of course couples who don’t conceive within 6 months are more likely to not conceive after 12… compared to the other group who have conceived before 6 months and therefore obviously have already conceived within 12.

I am on my 5th cycle trying and I was the exact same after the third month like literally spiralling because it hasn’t happened after 3 tries! However, since that I have been a lot more relaxed and now I’m not even tracking or symptom spotting, I am just having sex and putting faith into the world that it will happen for me! I couldn’t keep living like that I was driving myself to insanity and it was taking over my life! I feel much better now I have stopped being an absolute psycho and honestly recommend doing the same !

My thinking was not testing or tracking initially to ‘save’ it for if no pregnancy in say 6 months. And not ruin your sex life too soon by lots of scheduling!

Hey OP I totally understand the disappointment and you’re absolutely within your rights to feel that way especially when so many people around you seem to be falling pregnant quickly. It took me 3 years to conceive my daughter and it felt like everyone and their dog fell pregnant within that time. Try not to compare yourself to other though because every body is different and 3 months is such a short period of time. I would say these days it’s so much more common for it to take a bit longer than the internet says. Just keep doing what you’re doing and if you get worried about your fertility you can book a fertility check with your gp at any time 😊

I haven't read the whole thread. But from someone who was trying to get pregnant, the one thing that worked for me, was to stop tracking !! Checking the ovulation sticks all the time. If you're having regular sex, every other day, then there will be sperm to meet the eegg.if you want to just have sex regularly around ovulation time, then look for other body changes, like your cervical mucus.

Im not saying this in a mean way, I really do sympathise.

But maybe get some therapy to explore forming an identity outside of potential motherhood. For two good reasons. One nature is cruel sometimes and sometimes healthy people have trouble conceiving for no good reason. Secondly if you do have a baby it’s wonderful but hard and consuming and honestly for your sanity having something outside of motherhood is very healthy for you and your potential child. It’s a lot of pressure on a child to be so linked to their mother’s identity.

Good luck!