TTC Over 40 - support

I had a baby at the age of 40 followed by 4 miscarriages. I tried every supplement, vitamins, various holistic treatments before deciding to give up trying & to enjoy the child I had. A month after my 46th birthday I found myself unexpectedly pregnant. At each scan I expected to be told that I had another miscarriage but left each appointment with good news. The pregnancy was relatively easy however my anxiety went through the roof & I didn’t relax until the baby was born. That baby is a lively 4 year old & keeping me busy! It can happen, sometimes when you least expect it to. Good luck to you all.

@Sonic85 yes thats a good idea. The hardest part really with ivf is all the waiting around for appointments, start ups and next steps but dont give up. My husband has a low sperm count, I have low amh and I had to have my tubes removed, we are heading into our 4th egg collection/icsi.

I had my youngest at 39 (nearly 40) and lots of my friends were older too.
I’d just take things in your stride - I’m sorry about your chemical pregnancy but it proves it will be possible and your time will come.
good Luck 🤞

Thank you @Miraclemuma03 yes we’ve had some testing. My husband’s SA was normal and my tests showed I have low AMH but everything else looks OK. We are planning to try IVF but just waiting to get everything set up

@Sonic85 im sorry about your chemical. Now being over 12 months, have you had any fertility testing done to make sure everything is still in order or had your partners sperm tested?

Hi all :)
I’d like to join if that’s OK as would really appreciate some support and positive stories!
I’m 41 and we’re currently on cycle 14 of ttc number 2. First child was conceived pretty easily at 38.
I knew it could take longer but passing the year mark has been a little bit tough. I’ve had one chemical possibly in that time but I didn’t test so I’m not sure

@Mrs777 wow congratulations! Fingers are xd that you are able to conceive just one more.

congratulations! How long did it take you to conceive your 6 month old if you don’t mind me asking? I’m 42, we conceived first try last year but had a miscarriage and we’ve had no luck conceiving since - cycle 8 currently.

I am 43 have 3 older sons and just had a baby 6 months ago. Pregnancy was easy and birth was good. He’s such a good baby, best thing I’ve ever done. Don’t feel any more tired than when I had my boys in my 20s, I am currently TTC just one more 🙏🏼🙏🏼

@Wingingitlife good luck for this cycle. My ivf cycle had to be changed because I was something like 10 days late, maybe longer for my period to start so had to be put on the pill for my clinic to take control of things. So im on my last day for the pill which was for 12 days and I have my first clinic app on the 24th.

Hi @Wingingitlife

I read your post and it touched me deeply. I'm a young man, older than your eldest son, and my mom is going through a situation very similar to yours.

I'm an only child. My biological father sadly passed away, and when my mom met her current partner, I want to be completely honest with you: at first, I didn't accept him, not at all. It was an incredibly hard period for me, full of anger and confusion. But he never gave up. He was patient, affectionate, present in my life in a way I never could have imagined. And over the years, he became, in every way, my second father, even though I refused to accept him.

He is younger than my mom and doesn't have children of his own. Now he deeply wishes to have a child with her, his first child, and they are trying. I'm writing to you because I want you to know just how incredibly emotional this journey is for us children too. After a lifetime as an only child, when I found out in February that my mom was pregnant, at first I was shaken, I didn't even know what to feel. It was a shock, I admit it. Then, unfortunately, she lost the baby shortly after. But today, looking back on everything, the thought and the hope that my mom might succeed fills me with excitement.

Today, the idea of seeing that man who has given me so much become a father through my mom helps me see him with different, more familiar eyes.

From the perspective of a "grown son," I want to confess something to you in silence: what you and your partner are building is something precious and beautiful. I'm certain that your children will be thrilled and will support you with all their hearts, just as I am trying to do now with my mom and with the man who welcomed me as his own son.

And I'll tell you more: I believe that having a child with him could be the key for your kids. It will help them see him with completely new eyes, to fully welcome him as a father, as the paternal figure he already is. That's how it was for me.

Please, don't lose hope, not even for a second. You have a wonderful family and your partner seems like a man with a rare heart. I'm sending you all my love, and I hope with all my soul that your dream comes true very, very soon.

A big hug

Hi everyone. I’ll join if that’s okay? I’m 42 and we’ve been ttc almost a year. Fell pregnant almost straight away last September but we had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks. 7 cycles later and nothing. It’s been really frustrating as we thought we’d fall quickly again. I have a GP appointment to discuss on 23rd July. Good luck to you all x

@Wingingitlife Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. This will be my 7th cycle and can usually tell from a rising temp and a rising rhr so would be very surprised to get good news. Surprises do happen though, so like you trying to stay hopeful :). Keeping my fingers crossed for you too.

Hi everyone, recently 42 and been trying this past year… had a very early loss last July but nothing since..
had full blood panel done a month ago which showed slightly low testosterone but everything else was at optimal levels?
has anyone here had help with hormones prescribed to them to maybe help things along?

Im so sorry to read all these heartbreaking journeys. I hope for all of us that this cycle will be our cycle.

Hey @Miraclemuma03 I'm a serial early tester so normally start 7dpo but I'm testing out the trigger shot so im testing every two days to see the hcg reduce so if it increases again I'm pregnant and if not, I'm not.

Also like to join please, so sorry to read of so many losses, it really makes u realise ur not alone and just how common it is (doesn’t make it less painful but nice to know ur not alone)

41 here trying for #2 since Sept last year, have a just turned 2 yo. Got pregnant in April but had a miscarriage betw 7-8 weeks. Currently on CD 11 and really hoping it could be our lucky cycle. We got pregnant with our 2 yo the very next cycle after a miscarriage so I do believe there’s a boost in fertility immediately after 🤞🏽🤞🏽

nice to read of so many success stories in 40s also ❤️

Hello everyone. Recently 43 here after two MMC and a TFMR last December which almost broke me. I'm sorry to read that so many of you have had similarly tough journeys, but it does help to feel less alone. I met my partner at 40 and then fell pregnant by accident at 41, ending in a miscarriage. I never dreamed at that point that we'd still be trying nearly two years later, yet here we are. We have decided to give it until the end of the year trying naturally, though could be easier said than done when 2027 rolls around. Glad to hear so many of the positive stories too- it is nice to have a bit of hope.

@Littlebuzz I'm so sorry to hear of your recent miscarriage- I do hope you're as okay as you can be and have good support around you.

Hey can I join you?
Trying for our 2nd at 44.
7 cycles so far, one chemical and a miscarriage this week.
Trying to stay positive.

Good luck. When do you usually test? I start my ivf cycle at the end of the month.

I had mine at 39 and 42. Pregnant within 3 months of trying with the first. First time lucky with the second. I had two miscarriages in between.

Do I wish I was 20 years younger? Sure, don’t we all. I found it all manageable though. In fact, sleepless nights probably better than I was younger. I have a lot more patience these days.

Thanks it’s just the time it’s taking that’s disheartening. I’m not losing hope

@Pinkponyclub26 in my friendship circle one friend had her first child at 40 (arrived a month after her birthday), two others at 42 - one thought she was going through menopause but turned out she was pregnant, the other had tried for 6 years & resigned herself to it not happening then it did - all children healthy. Oh and my sister in law had hers at 40 & 42 (they are teenagers now). Plus me at 45 (my youngest is 4, so bit more recently). Keep trying and best of luck x