Applying for jobs while ttc - controversial or perfectly normal?

Hi everyone, thanks for all the support and good advice. For anyone facing this sort of dilemma, telling them turned out to be a really good way of 'testing' how family-friendly they are. Glad they passed!
Trying - good luck with any future job hunting
gilldaffodil - good advice on the handover etc...no point in burning bridges, even if I can't leave earlier. And am glad your new job appears so positive

Hi everyone, thanks for all the really helpful advice. In the end, I told them, and I think it will be fine. If anything, seemed to get some brownie points for letting them know so early on (I'm just over 5 weeks). Basically they want me to start as soon as possible so I can get settled in before I go on maternity leave, but it's sounding as though it isn't going to be awkward. So now I just have to convince my current employer to let me leave a bit earlier - though I have quite a bit of annual leave saved up, which I could use if needed. Have to go to the outgoing person's leaving do this evening - am sure everyone will be looking at my stomach!

Hi ceedub,

Congrats on the pregnancy and on the job offer!!

I have been following this thread with interest as I am in a similar position (ttc while in a job that I REALLY don't like, so am job hunting but still not convinced that the benefits of moving to a new role outweigh the excellent maternity benefits in my current horrible role.) I have already had one mc this year, so stopping ttc to move jobs is simply not an option for me (for a number of emotional reasons.)

I think that tryingnottoobsess' advise about making a decision work was excellent (I am going to adopt that as my philosophy!)

To add my two cents...if you could reduce your notice period (or take your remaining annual leave to shorten it if possible?) it may be easier. You will be amazed at how much impact you can have in your new role in the 6 months before you go on maternity leave...

In our team, we had a new starter who announced her pregnancy one month into her new role. She claims she 'didn't know' she was pregnant when she joined (although we guessed pretty much right away and once the initial surprise around her announcement was over, she settled down into her role - made a large impact in her remaining 5 months and is now on Maternity Leave (and is being missed by the rest of the team!) so it is perfectly possible...

Hi beaniesteve, as far as i understand it, you get up to a year's maternity leave regardless of how long you've been working somewhere. i don't get maternity pay beyond SMP where i am now, and tbh, I'm in a position where that's less of a concern as the pay at the new place is much better than where i am now. i think i'd be safe going back...it's the 6 months before that i'm more worried about...

Don't you have to have worked somewhere for a certain amount of months/years before you are entitled to maternity leave anyway? I wouldn't change my job now (Well not by leaving the company I work for) because I assume I would lose my benefits and I might not be in a safe place when it comes to going back after maternity leave.

Hi everyone, me again with the same dilemma. I got offered the job yesterday: It's better pay and conditions than where I am at the moment. Still the same problem though. I have a 3-month notice period at my current job, which means I'd be starting the new job around 16 weeks, and would almost definitely be starting to show. Even worse, I have a 6-month probationary period at the new job. So my maternity leave would start while I was on probation! Legally, I'm protected, but practically I know they'd be unimpressed, and I'd effectively be starting off on the wrong foot. not to mention all the stress associated with trying to establish myself when I probably won't be at my most professionally impressive (tired, bit vague etc). DP thinks I should take it anyway as my current job is quite stressful. Mum thinks I should stay put. What do people think???

Thanks AngelDoll, that's really helpful. I think you're right, no point in getting worked up about it before I've even been offered anything! It would be much less stressful than my current job, and the conditions and pay are much better, so I'd feel a bit silly to not go for it...

Ceedub, firstly congratulations on your BFP! I would just see what happens, definately go for the second interview as until you get an offer, there's nothing to consider.
If and when you get an offer, reconsider then. TBH I would focus mainly on yourself, ie can you manage on stat mat pay not the decent maternity pay (if that's part of your current package); would the new job be too stressful compared to current etc. Make a choice that's right for you. Try not to feel guilty, companies make difficult decisions every day which badly affect people's lives and that's the way their cookie crumbles - but it works both ways!
I try to think that ultimately, maternity leave is a fact of life, nobody from your current company will still be moaning in three years time about the person who took maternity leave.
As for the deputy thing, I recognise the significance but that's not like-for-like - that's her personal choice. Perhaps she just can't cope with the promotion, young family or not. Don't assume she made her decision for the good of the company and not herself!

Hi everyone, am going through a similar dilemma. Applied for a really good job about a month ago, had the first interview in early june and am due for next interview next week. Got BFP on Monday. Which is great, but it puts me in a bit of a quandary. It's quite a big job, so I'd feel really awkward if I took it on and then 6 months in had to take maternity leave. But I also had a mc in january, so I don't know how much I should assume that I'll go to term this time anyway. Didn't help that I found out the reason the deputy didn't apply for the job was because she has a young family....any advice???

Hello,

So sorry to hear about your miscarriages.

I was in a slightly different situation as I was just doing temp work after finishing a post grad degree, so no job security or mat benefits to leave behind, but decided not to stop TTC when applying for jobs.

After applying for a few things I was offered a really good job and the next day got a BFP! I can't say it has been easy telling my new employer but it all seems to be working out fine so far. If you can manage without mat leave pay then I'd just go for it.

Hope that helps.

Lesbian couple ttc - I was asked to leave from my job after I blew the whistle on fraud & corruption, and was sitting unemployed while going for treatment. I have in the meantime found the most awesome job, and after I started here, I sat with my boss & informed her that we'd like to start a family. She was perfectly fine with it & we are receiving so much support. We live in South Africa

Hi lots of you!

Ds took 6 yrs to arrive. During this time I moved jobs twice - 1st job I had been sticking with partly as would have got good maternity benefits. However, dead-end job, so moved. Had mc with fairly major health issues associated in the next job (6 mo sick-leave) - ended up unhappy in that job. Applied for another and got an offer. Handed in notice. Got pregnant during working notice. I had informed potential new employees that I was hoping to start a family and would want to reduce hours to 3 dpw if and when - still rather a shock to them when I announced at 14wks when it was becoming difficult to hide the fact. I got statutory maternity benefits - which is all this job offers - even though I didn't comply with the relevant timescales.

I think it could have been moving jobs that was one of the catalysts - together with having the date for actually starting IVF (+ve hpt 3 days before)

Good luck with whatever you decide

I spent ages afraid to change jobs while TTC, but only because I couldn't afford to lose out on maternity benefits. In the end I gave up waiting and got a new job anyway. It still took another 2 years.

If maternity benefits don't matter too much to you then don't give it a moment's thought. You can do whatever you want and it's no one's business but yours. There should be no controversy at all IMO.

I don't think it's fair that women should have to worry and worry about this issue when men never have to!

Is is not the case that being dismissed for being pg is an "automatically unfair dismissal"? Apparently the probationary period makes no odds in a case of automatically unfair dismissal.

I was 9 weeks pregnant when I started the job I am in now. Found out the day before I started

I got no matty pay and had to go back after 6 months but back then I was a single parent. If you can afford no matty pay then go for it. Thats the worst that will happen after all

Good luck trying, I saw your recent sad news, very sorry and hope all works out in the future.

I think that if money is an issue (i.e maternity leave/pay etc) then it might be best to sit tight.

HOWEVER. I sat tight and didn't apply for jobs because I didn't think it was fair on a prospective employer in the event that I might end up leaving quite soon after starting.

But then I realised (after 23 cycles) that I can't put my life on hold for what might happen. It's not nice to think it could take years and years to conceive, but it is realistic for some of us (I hope not you) - and I think that really, if you see a job that you fancy doing, then you should go for it, and if you conceive straight away, then CONGRATULATIONS!

I have just started my new job, and I figure, what will be will be. Financially, we could cope without maternity pay if they decided to be funny about it. And so, I feel having this job takes the edge of not conceiving - if that makes sense?

Go with your gut instinct, and ultimately put YOUR needs before any employer.