The Hopeful Hearts Circle 1 - December 2025🎄💖

@Esssareally sorry to hear this 😟 such a horrible time being left in limbo when you knew what was happening. Thinking of you x
Why has she suggested the hydroxychloroquine? Xx

So sorry you've had such a rough time @Esssa🫂 I wish there'd been a different outcome for you.😞

Totally agree with @overwork and others that your life is put on hold for this..it's exhausting 😞 xx

Thank you. It sucks but I'm at the point I can't even muster a tear. That will probably change as my hormones do and the loss physically happens but at the moment I'm sort of relieved. I wasn't crazy. I knew it wasn't right a week ago.

Oh @EsssaI’m so sorry. You’ve definitely been through it emotionally this time around. I hope you’re able to take some time. Be kind to yourself.

@Taysonicsounds very sensible. Best of luck

Oh Esssa, I'm so so sorry. I know you'd been emotionally preparing yourself for this outcome for a while but it doesn't make it any easier. I wish I knew what to say that might make it feel a little bit better. I'm really sorry for your loss.

I had my scan this lunchtime and was right that this is not a progressing pregnancy. I don't even think I'm sad, just resigned because I was expecting this for the last week or so. So I can stop the heparin and progesterone and wait for it to pass. She did mention the possibility of HCG injection and hydroxychloroquine next time round but I need a further appointment at the clinic to discuss that. Oh and lose some weight so that's next on my hit list. But decisions to be made whether we wait until the next appointment to TTC again +/- getting lighter.

@Taysonic sounds like a very level headed plan!

Thanks @LuckyDuck93 - I can confirm, I am now on progesterone! Picked them up Friday afternoon and been taking them since Friday evening. I can definitely already feel the effects...! I read someone describe it as 'like taking a sleeping tablet you didn't ask for' and that certainly rang true for me yesterday.

Just got to hope it does the trick. I'm trying not to test anymore. I will do a weeks indicator a week after my positive to sense check things are progressing. And then will do a test the week after. Hoping it says 2-3 weeks this week. And then 3+ next week.

@overwork It's a good idea to get tested to at least know where you stand. There might be something to help you without going straight to IVF (some medication or maybe IUI). At least you can make an informed decision.

@overwork honestly ttc is the most mentally exhausting thing i've ever done, I can't ever understand anyone enjoying it!
You put your whole life on hold don't you, I was the same as @Taysonic lived life by each cycle and would never book anything more than 9 months ahead for almost 2 years.
Getting some answers seems like a positive step for you though, got everything crossed for you!

@Taysonic did you manage the trip for the progesterone?

I think it’s the pressure of age that’s the problem. I usually work well under pressure but not in this situation it turns out!
Ha I would also have liked to find that positive. But just started with the first spots of blood, so onto cycle 12 it is!
I’m going to book a last minute ski trip for next week, and something warm for the summer. No point holding out anymore. And I’m going to email a couple of IVF clinics near me. We won’t be doing IVF, but I think it’s time to do some tests and get some answers, if it’s not what we want to hear it would actually be nice to firmly draw that line underneath it. I do have my gynae NHS scan in April but that’s ages away and won’t actually tell me much anyway. I can’t help thinking that 11 cycles without anything at all is not a good sign!
Thanks as ever for all the support

Oh @overwork , I had such brilliant visions of you managing to find the strip that had gotten lost and it being positive - what a story that would have been to tell. And I know it's easy for me to say as I was lucky enough to have a positive this cycle but I know exactly what you mean about assessing your 'appetite' for TTC after a long journey. As @ChaE05 , the emotional rollercoaster over time is exhausting and it surely isn't healthy to be living life cycle by cycle.

At the moment, I don't have any holidays booked this year because I've been holding off booking anything 'just in case'. There's theatre tickets I wanted to book that I held off on because those dates could be close to a potential due date if I'd gotten pregnant on a particular cycle... It feels like it invades so many parts of your life and at some point, you do have to take a step back and think 'can I keep doing this?'

I had thought after my Christmas loss that I'd feel like I was done. I'd said to myself that I'd give it one more roll of the dice and if it didn't work, I couldn't put myself through it again. But I surprised myself after that to change my mind... with the offer of progesterone in a future pregnancy, I felt like I had to give that a try.

If this pregnancy results in a loss, I'm not sure where I'll be at. If I was younger, I'd take a break for sure and come back to it when I'd had chance to recover more but... it doesn't feel like I can afford to take that time.

@overworkcompletely feel you with this. I can absolutely happen at your age but its also the mental impact on us every single month. It's exhausting and zapping all happiness out of me. 16 months with 2 chemicals months 3&4 x

Number 11. Though not quite a year of trying as I only have 22-26 day cycles. I rarely test. Sometimes I get a positive feeling and then feel daft when I see the negative. And I’ve had two false positives along the way so I think even if I did test positive I’m not sure I’d believe it.
Starting to think we should call it quits now, I’m 42, the chances are so slim.
How about you @ChaE05?

@overworkugh im so sorry for the negative test. Same as you, I just always expect a negative test. Infact before super ovulation I wasn't testing, was just very certain I wasn't pregnant and just waited for my period every month. But as im taking progesterone I need to take a test. What cycle are you on now? X

I got it this morning! Stupid thing had flattened itself against the skirting board so I had to do all sorts of contortions to rescue it. It is now safely disposed of at the bottom of the bin (and was of course negative after all that!)

@overworkdid you dig the test out?

I’m back to work on Monday and still no idea where I am in this cycle. Only signs of ovulation were last weekend so I might be 6/7DPO or I might not have ovulated yet.

How are you doing @Taysonic?

Decided I’d take a test anyway. One of those little strip tests. I’m staring at my parents for a few days, and would rather they didn’t know we are trying. Brought the test back into the bedroom, went to make the bed and the breeze from flapping the duvet sent the test floating off down the back of the bed. So now I need to pull the bed apart to find the damn thing, and it’s more than likely negative anyway

Yes I agree! I think I’ve said before, we’re always here to offer kind words on the bad days, but I do love the good news, it gives me hope! Sorry @ChaE05 sometimes it just feels like everything is against you doesn’t it. I’ve never heard of the microbiome test

Hey @Taysonichuge congrats to you! I really have everything crossed this is a sticky one. Get that progesterone in you! Sending loads of love, I know you must feel so anxious x

Just in my tww of my second round of superovulation. I honestly dont think it will work this cycle as I dont think my body responded all that well. I had a really overmature follicle and one a bit further behind. I dont think il give it anymore goes. Its 450.00 each time and just cant afford it.

I am thinking of doing a screenme microbiome test if anyone has done this?

My GP also did a semen culture test on my partners sperm due to the slightly raised sperm dna fragmentation. It's come back with 2 bacterias. Light growth of e coli?! And also moderate growth of Group strep B! She has contacted the urology department on advice for treatment as she said the antibiotics for e coli aren't pleasant. But could take up to 4 weeks for a reply 😒
Just feeling quite fed up with this ttc journey. 16 months now xx

Keeping my fingers crossed for you - I'll keep checking back to see if we've got an update. Honestly, checking this thread first thing in the morning is always like a real glimmer in my day - I always get this buzz of excitement that there will be something to celebrate.

Thank you everyone. Didn't hear back yesterday but had a bright and early email this morning confirming that the progesterone will be ready for me this afternoon and to encourage me to ring EPAU to make an appointment for a reassurance scan. I've said I'll wait a little bit and if I get to 7 weeks, then a scan would be beneficial.

Had a little overwhelm-cry in the car as I dropped my DP off at work this morning. Everytime I start to feel a little bit of hope, it's always met with tears.

Not quite sure how I'm going to wrangle two hours off work this afternoon for the drive to and from the hospital to pick up the progesterone... And fit it around the school pick up too. Without alerting my son to anything!

Well those are good odds!
I’m not. Haven’t tested yet this month but cramps are starting, period due Monday

Congrats to all the pregnancies announced here! I think most posters here are pregnant now??