TTC after second or third trimester loss

I hope the bereavement counselling tomorrow is helpful @SparklyGreenTigerand glad you have a good support network in friends. That really helps. One of my friends had a stillbirth a few years ago and has been a great support even only via phone as she lives far away. Sounds like you’re really getting in the best place possible. I might give acupuncture a try especially if my cycle doesn’t regulate soon.

@MissingMyBaby- glad I’m not alone in feeling like that, it’s such a major life event but almost a hidden one.

I’m so sorry for all of your losses. I hope the post-mortem gives you something helpful for your next steps @i123i. We didn’t get one as we know what happened, devastating as it is.
I am lucky to have a good support network in my friends, some of whom have had similar experiences. I find talking helps, I try not to dwell but I don’t want to put on a brave face or pretend Poppy didn’t exist or that it never happened. I’m starting bereavement counselling tomorrow. I hope it’ll help. I don’t love crying in front of other people but I don’t have a choice most of the time and tears never seem to be far away these days sadly.
I’ve been trying to get myself into the best space I can. I’m doing acupuncture, taking vitamins, doing fertility counselling/hypnotherapy, looking after my teeth etc. but it feels like none of it is worth a damn if my amh is so low.

Hi everyone, in case anybody would like some further support there’s a WhatsApp chat group that was created for people who are trying to conceive after loss. The amount of time the losses occurred vary but it’s a really supportive place and it’s nice to be able to talk to people who have gone through the same experiences as you. Posting here I case anyone wants to join https://chat.whatsapp.com/GLSZVksNVEyEn0oPzy1KLI?mode=ac_t

Hello, joining if that’s ok. So sorry to hear about everyone’s losses. It’s just so awful.

We lost our perfect baby in October, at 18 weeks. my tests have come back clear but we’re still waiting on the post mortem (which will take another 2-3 months) on baby. But there might be no known cause found anyway.

I feel for those especially to those who had to go through a long TTC journey or IVF to then end in loss as I imagine it’s an extra tough journey. @Moosey898im glad you’ve got the appropriate referrals. I’m waiting on my first Petals appointment- hoping it’ll help. @MissingMyBaby - yes also aching arms here. @SparklyGreenTiger- I’m 39 so also can’t wait around.

I’m having my first period now since the loss (at least I think that’s what this bleeding is, although I only had 1 week of no bleeding after 3 weeks continuous bleeding post miscarriage), but waiting to see if my cycle goes back to normal. I’d like to TTC immediately but DH wants us to have more time to think and grieve I think, as I think he’s worried it would happen again. Which I understand but it’s also hard for me. I also want to talk about the baby lots but don’t want to make people feel uncomfortable or don’t want to cry in front of them. Does anyone else feel like this?

@SparklyGreenTiger I'm so sorry for your traumatic experience and the loss of Poppy - that's a beautiful name.

I feel the same way - of all the things in my journey (initial infertility, recurrent miscarriage, chromosome abnormality diagnosis) baby loss is by far the very worst and hardest part of it.

I really hope you get a natural miracle pregnancy - and if not that IVF can be successful for you in the new year. I'm terrified of starting IVF and to have no good embryos, but I guess we will cross that bridge if we come to it. Trying not to dwell on all the future things that may go wrong xx

Thank you - it's always nice to know we're not alone when going through such significant trauma and grief. It feels like a lot of people in my life see it like a first trimester miscarriage (not that miscarriage is insignificant, but having experienced both they are worlds apart in terms of grief and trauma) and they totally miss the part where not only did we lose all our hopes and dreams, but I gave birth, had a traumatic medical experience and held my baby girl in my arms watching her try to breathe. It broke my heart.

In terms of coping, I've been having therapy through the charity Petals and my counsellor has been amazing and an absolute lifeline. Outside of that I've thrown myself back into losing weight and getting fit to give us the best chance of a healthy pregnancy that I can - I guess trying to control the controllables.

We have also booked to see one of my favourite groups sing in Amsterdam in April, along with spending a ton of money we had saved for maternity leave on things we have wanted a while or have put off because we needed the money in the bank. It has helped temporarily although now I'm worried we won't have enough if I do get pregnant again!

I’m afraid I’ve nothing helpful to add but I’m on the same journey.
I lost my daughter Poppy at 21+4 on September 9th. The birth experience was the worst of my entire life. I had an infection too, lost 2.5 litres of blood in the delivery and placenta removal surgery and received 4 litres so have had to contend with very low energy levels and being unwell since then. I miss her so so much especially as Christmas and her due date approaches. She was perfect. She was also an IVF baby our final embryo from the cycle that gave us our 2.5 year old daughter (I know we are very lucky to have her). I’m 41 steps time is not on our side. I have had my second period and we are TTC naturally while waiting to do another IVF cycle in the new year.
We had planned to do the cycle in January but my AMH was tested two weeks ago and I got a call today to say it is very low and the clinic want to retest in January and scan my ovaries (they couldn’t see them when they scanned at the start of the month which suggests they are repressed). This just feels like a huge kick and so unfair after everything we’ve been through. I am so upset just feel like giving up.
I’m so sorry for everything you’re going through. I thought infertility was the worst club in the world but baby loss is so much worse.

Hi @MissingMyBaby I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost our baby girl at 22 weeks on 4th September - I went into triage with spotting and turned out I had an infection that was borderline septic, and they had to induce me as they were seriously worried about my wellbeing. She lived for a little over an hour but with the infection and how early It was, she was just too small to survive.

It was utterly devastating. I totally understand the aching feelings, and just wanting a baby in my arms.

We started TTC again after my period came back. We've had such a long journey (9 years and 4 missed miscarriages prior to losing Ava). So I'm currently 3dpo on our second cycle trying again. We also have a referral and IVF consultation on 8th December as I have diagnosed chromosome abnormalities which means I'm eligible for NHS funded PGT, so if we try or not next month depends on if we would be able to start IVF in January. If not, then we will keep trying for another month.