TTC after second or third trimester loss

@MissingMyBaby I'm doing ok thanks. Pretending festive season isn't happening because I just don't feel like it.

We're waiting to hear from the genetics lab to have a call and go through the PGT tests they will do. We're hoping to start IVF early Feb. Can't come round quick enough!

If it helps with timelines, my first cycle after losing my daughter Ava, ovulation was day 18, second cycle day 15 and then I'm now on third cycle, period stopped sooner but I'm not tracking ovulation as we aren't allowed to TTC now ahead of IVF because it's costing the NHS.

@MissingMyBaby- what a lovely idea. I really hope you get to unwrap that blanket with a bump or baby next year. Do you think you’d move your April TTC date forward?

I am hoping to have my first Petals session in January but feels like so long away. We have the baby’s funeral next week but it will just be me and DH attending as we want to keep it private. It will be awful, but also in a way helpful to make a little peace with it maybe.

It’s day 22 here of what I think is my first proper cycle post miscarriage but no sign yet of ovulation so I have booked an acupuncture appointment tomorrow. Then typically my LH test strip was quite dark today, so maybe O is on the way sometime soon after all although we’re not TTC again yet. I’ll keep the appointment anyway… Will be relaxing hopefully if nothing else.

Just checking back in and to say so sorry for your losses @Wishingforwhatshouldhavebeen @Fullofconfusion@Ash2345fwho have joined since I last wrote.

and thanks for everyone’s responses about their cycles returning. I don’t know what’s going on with my body as just a few days after what I thought was my first period, I’ve started having some dark red blood only when wiping. I though it was due to ovulated sometime in the next 5-7 days so who knows… frustrating as I’d like it to normalise asap but also recognise that my body needs time to heal. It’s only been about 6 weeks since my loss.

The ball in the box analogy is great @Fullofconfusion

@Wishingforwhatshouldhavebeen so sorry for your loss. Everything must be so raw right now. It’s awful that we have all been through these heartbreaking situations but I do also find comfort knowing that I’m not alone.

I am so sorry for your loss 😔 does your little boy have a name?xx

Hello, I’ve read your messages and found them really quite helpful so I wanted to say hi. I hope that’s ok. We lost our little boy at 20+6 exactly a week ago. We’re definitely not anywhere close to ttc again yet but hope to again in the future. I’m so sorry that you are all also in this heartbreaking situation.

@Moosey898thank you so much for sharing. We’ve had our assessment appointment so just awaiting the sessions being booked in. My partner struggles to open up and talk about it. He hates to get upset (I think it’s a man thing!) so I’m not sure how he’s going to find it all. I think I need some help to properly deal with what’s happened to us and have some trauma to go through.

I like the ball in a box analogy with grief. It’s always there but at the beginning the ball is large in a small box and it hits the sides a lot. Then over time the ball gets smaller (or the box gets bigger) and it hits the sides less often. So it’s still there but it hits you harder at the beginning and more often. Hopefully over time it lands softer and less often.

I hope everyone is managing ok on the run up to Christmas. I find it quite a difficult time of year

I've had 4 of the 5 sessions. I've found it really useful. A judgement free zone where I can release things I've been trying to hold in to be "normal" in day to day life. My counsellor has been really kind and thoughtful. They've also done some practical grounding exercises I can use when I start to feel overwhelmed. I hope you find it useful. One of the things she is very clear about is that grief doesn't go away it just changes over time. I've cried a lot during the sessions and it is hard to relive what happened but I've definitely found it helpful xx

We are both starting counselling shortly from Petals. Has anyone else had sessions with them and did you find it helpful?

I’m not really sure what to expect as I’m not expecting them to be able to make my grief any less. Just a bit nervous I think. I feel like I’ve probably suppressed a lot of my thoughts and feelings about the TFMR and I’m worried about how I’ll feel going through it all again.

Hi everyone,

so sorry to hear everyone’s stories.

We had a loss at 22 weeks last June. We found out at our 20 week scan that baby had a heart condition and made the heartbreaking decision to TFMR.

I then had a chemical in March 2025 and a missed miscarriage in June 2025. We’ve been trying since but no joy.

The idea of another pregnancy fills me with dread to be honest but the thought of not trying to have a rainbow baby is worse. Time is sadly not on our side, I’m 40 now.

I’m currently waiting for my fertile period this month. Sending love and luck to others also trying

I’m so sorry for your loss, so heartbreaking. It took 5.5 weeks for mine to come back after 21+4 loss. I was warned it would probably be heavier than usual but it wasn’t.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It took 6 weeks for mine to return after being induced at 22 weeks x

Hi everyone sending virtual hugs to all! can I ask when did your periods return after your loss we lost our little boy at 18 weeks on the 5th November x

I am very fortunate to have two children, one very nearly 10 and the little one just turned two. The two year has filled our hearts and to an extent healed us as a family as he came after a bereavement. Life is a joy, however due to the ages of our children people sometimes assume DH is step dad to the eldest! When older dc is with school friends and all the various siblings are there I am very conscious of the fact that our dc isn’t here as it would be the same as those siblings. The thing people always comment on is the age gap but honestly I just tell the truth that things didn’t work out for us but now they have.

The heartbreak is there but like all grief as time move forwards you life gets bigger. While the pain is there, theres so much going on that while it doesn’t shrink it’s not such a big part of your life. I still take myself to my baby’s grave, it will always be my child.

@Moosey898- thanks, that’s good to know. This first period definitely feels heavier and longer than ones before. That’s great the scan shows everything is normal, must be reassuring. I am hoping to track ovulation this month even if maybe not actively TTC (DH wants to wait a bit post loss), so hoping my cycle isn’t all over the place.

@bk1981so sorry for your losses but good your cycle also seems to be back to normal. I think I will look into acupuncture too.

@TakeMe2Insanity- thank you for your message and so sorry for all your losses, it must have been awful, but I’m really glad you’ve now had a successful pregnancy.

Sorry just to add - I had a baseline scan for my IVF clinic today, and everything in there apparently looks totally normal, good uterine lining and I did ovulate this month. So things are definitely settling down.

I lost my son at fifteen weeks in July and then had a chemical in October. I'd also had a missed miscarriage in March.

I think my cycle is pretty much back to normal this month. My period is due on Monday so we'll see.... I have been having accupuncture for a few months.

We've been trying for two cycles now without any luck.

I only lost my little girl 6 weeks ish before you, but I've I'm in my second cycle now since. It took 6 weeks for my period to come back, and both periods have been longer and heavier (6-7 days when they were always 4 before).

First cycle was 30 days, ovulation on day 18
This cycle so far, ovulation was day 15

Ovulation used to be day 14 so feels like things are settling down.

I just wanted to send you ladies much love and lots of luck. We lost our baby at the delayed 20
week scan. The months afterwards broke me. I then went on to constantly miscarry 5 times before eventually having a successful pregnancy. Stay strong.

For those here who’ve had losses earlier in the year than me - have your cycles regulated yet? How are you tracking for TTC?