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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Very nervous to TTC after a miscarriage but am going for it

537 replies

Bella23 · 20/01/2005 09:19

For those who want to look to the future and TTC again I would really like some support, advice etc.
I thought we needed a new thread with positive energy (yes have turned into chanting hippy) so that we feel we are moving forward rather than dwelling on what has already passed.
The only thing I can concentrate on at the moment is that next Wed is the day that me and DH can start trying again (this will be 2 weeks after ERPC).
Anyone else ready to try again?

OP posts:
Original poster
Bella23 · 25/01/2005 16:32

Wendy I have never really had much idea on the EWCM either to be honest that is why I have had to rely on the ov tests.
I think all DHs think that relaxing about the whole thing works - easy for them to say when it isn't there body! That is why I have found this site so useful to be able to ask all the questions on here that would make my DH look quite bewildered - or even worse - not interested!
How long have you been trying Wendy?

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romilly · 25/01/2005 16:25

Wendy - good question - there is a fantastic book called "Taking control of your fertility" by Toni Weschler which is written about by a lot of MN'ers on ttc threads. This explains the whole EWCM signs with fairly graphic illustrations (mmmmm!) to help. seriously worth a read.

wendy11 · 25/01/2005 16:22

Sorry another question. Do you have to have lots of fertile mucus to conceive, or does it just mean that the sperm do not live so long if there is not alot of CM present. I think my DH may be right and I am starting to get too technical. Need to relax.............. easier said that done!

wendy11 · 25/01/2005 16:18

For all ladies ttc a question. Do you get EWCM or at least watery mucus each month? I am starting to wonder is this my problem ttc as I find it very difficult to detect either - and it doesn't help when doing lots of BDing as I never really know if I am looking a CM or semen.

Original poster
Bella23 · 25/01/2005 16:07

Yingers I have to admit to having a little giggle over the 100 days advice -like where did that come from??

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yingers74 · 25/01/2005 15:44

I think i will go for it earlier rather than later, although certainly will not be telling my mum that!

Original poster
Bella23 · 25/01/2005 14:58

At the early gyno unit where I went at Kings (London)the chief registrar lady who saw me (and who also very kindly told me that the same had happened to her between 2 of her children) said that I could try when I felt ready and if I didn't want to wait then I didn't have to. She also said that she didn't wait and got straight back to ttc. She said advice for waiting for first AF is just to make dating easier.
I totally agree with the advice that the body will conceive when it is ready and that you don't need to stress about waiting a set period of time - go with what feels right.

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Sallie · 25/01/2005 14:51

Yingers - cry as much as you need to - I know it certainly helped me. As for when to start ttc again, my gp said I could start straight away (mc at 6 weeks) - maybe things alter depending on how far along you were. Anyway, I am a great believer that things will happen when your body is ready. Mine obviously bounced back fairly quickly as mc in Sept and conceived in Dec. Just do what feels right for you. Lots of hugs((()))

yingers74 · 25/01/2005 14:38

The whole when you should try to conceive again after a m/c is very confusing. One doctor said 3 months, one has said whenever you feel ready and another said after your first period. which is right? My mum/aunts think you should leave it 100 days! Where do these numbers come from? I don't really want to wait that long. My plan is to wait for first AF and then off we go.

A good cry helps a lot I think. I did a lot of crying at the weekend and so when they finally confirmed it all, I felt ok about it. Now people are beginning to learn about it, I am feeling a little wobbly as their sympathy makes it hard to act cheery.

romilly · 25/01/2005 13:51

will keep you posted!

Original poster
Bella23 · 25/01/2005 12:47

Will be interested to hear when your AF arrives as I also am always regular so hoping things stay the same.

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romilly · 25/01/2005 12:16

bella - expecting AF any day now if my pre-m/c cycle is anything to go by, but no signs to be honest. used to be 26 day cycle which i really hope i still am. as you say there is so much to bloody worry about now - and like you i used to be pretty chilled about it all. its nice to know everyone on here understands though.

wendy11 · 25/01/2005 11:53

Bella23
Just to let you know that I still have weepy sessions, four months after the loss of our baby boy. I don't think there are any time limits on our need to grieve. Just take each day as it comes and don't feel guilty about crying. I always feel more at peace with myself after a good cry.
Good luck

Original poster
Bella23 · 25/01/2005 11:25

Yes tomorrow the 2 weeks are up although we did have a sneaky bd on Sunday. Naughty as wanted to follow advice but we both were in the mood and it seems so long since we'd actually done the deed that I thought it best to give in to temptation! Everything "down there" seemed fine afterwards so no harm done I think.
I started OV tests on Sunday after purchasing bumber pack last week. They seem to be working so I think I will ov in the next couple of days.
Yes for better or worse we are giving it a go as I reckon if I get pregnant this time round I will worry it will be too soon and if I don't i will worry there is something wrong with me so either way there is something to fret about - total madness!! Oh the joy
When are you expecting your AF, any idea?

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romilly · 25/01/2005 11:18

bella - isn't it tomorrow when your two week's is up? i am just waiting for AF as i decided to go the one cycle first route so i will know dates and start using persona. it is frustrating waiting for it though. do you do any of the temperature taking stuff?

Original poster
Bella23 · 25/01/2005 11:06

Thanks Rom - good to hear I am not the only one blubbing. I also am not known for public crying so all a bit frustrating! Yes do try not to be too hard on myself but sometimes it is a bit difficult!
Anyway enough down talk - how are you this week?
Totally right - things can only get better

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romilly · 25/01/2005 10:43

bella - you are not a loon and not alone either.
i had a quite embarrassing public blub that came from nowhere last night. it's not my normal style - but i'm not going to beat myself up about it - i think these huge waves of sadness will just appear from time to time, but hopefully we'll all have something to be happy about in the not too distant future.

Original poster
Bella23 · 25/01/2005 09:03

yes Yingers your Mum sounds a dream. I didn't tell my Mum I was pregnant and haven't mentioned the m/c. Its hard as sometimes I would really like to tell her but she is just such a worrier that I couldn't cope with her "not being able to sleep with worry" like she normally does when faced with any of her kids having a problem. She lives 200 miles away so it been ok keeping it from her her but I have been temped a few times to just pick up the phone!
Anybody else having daily crying sessions? Am being really positive everyday but always seem to have at least one 10 min cry, there will always be something to set me off. I am feeling better but these outbursts seem to come from nowhere! Anybody else feeling this or am I really a loon as I secretly suspect?

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mishi1977 · 25/01/2005 00:09

yingers i want ur mum to
my mums view was oh well never mind its normal to loose a baby....mmm it might be normal but it doesnt make it any easier...grrr

dramaqueen72 · 24/01/2005 23:45

oh can i borrow your mum? she sounds great!

yingers74 · 24/01/2005 20:21

Since my miscarriage, my mum has been making me tonnes of chinese herbal soups, grew up with them so don't find them too yucky but she also has decided I should take up an exercise regime to make sure I am fit and ready vessel for the next time I conceive. And to think I was worried that I would become obsessed.

cat82 · 24/01/2005 16:19

Ooooh gosh. Just wanted to say i think you're all very brave and fantastic women, who have gone through a horrible experiance with enormous courage and i have upmost respect for you all.

Best of luck
xx

dramaqueen72 · 24/01/2005 16:16

well look at us all! you all give me great comfort
sophmum; sorry to hear of your missed m/c. they are so horrible because of no inklings anything is wrong. each time mine has been a huge shock. if its any help, i concieved dd on cycle 3 after my first erpc. i'm currently waiting for af aftr this erpc, intending to try and break my 3 cycle record
yingers we learnt the hard way too, re telling everyone. this time we told no-one, and next time no-one til after the 8/12wks scan.
and my ttc has always turned into an obession! LOL

Sophmum · 24/01/2005 16:01

Hello all, just like to add that I am in the same boat. I had a missed m/c in November at 11 weeks and an erpc, then had af on day 29.

We started ttc that cycle and I really thought I had conceived but af arrived on cd28.

We are now trying again this month, on cd13 so hopefully bding will work this time.

I'm very nervous that for some reason I won't conceive at all (although with dd and my mc baby I conceived very quickly), as though something has gone wrong with me. Also very nervous of course about early pregnancy again. I was so shocked to m/c as I had no inkling at all that anything was wrong.

Good luck and good vibes to all of us.

Original poster
Bella23 · 24/01/2005 15:12

Yes agree that Sallie you are exactly the person we need to hear from - it so helps to hear of people coming through the otherside and with such great news

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