Very nervous to TTC after a miscarriage but am going for it

Dramaqueen, just reading about keeping sperm fresh makes me tired! The things we have to do to get pregnant. LOL and yes sometimes it is like a comedy, if you don't laugh you cry.....

oh yes ladies, i can join in this one! my dh is all swings and roundabouts.... he asks what the opks are for and so i tell him,- to give us a three or four day window that surrounds 'O'. he then pulls a face and says 'oh nothing like putting me under pressure!' i just dont get that, why dont men think its wonderful we all want alot of sex? arent they supposed to 'want sex' all the time??? and then my dh asks me today how far pg we will be in August (our summer break). which i thought was sweet. i cant believe he thinks sex is pressure tho. duh. men!
as far as 'good advice' on 'covering all bases' bella, (and hey, dont tell your dh how much pressure hes under! ) I read to keep sperm at its best it should be approx 2 days old. any older; not so good and any younger not so good...... so somehow i've gotta make sure dh's sperm is 'fresh' every 2 days....... frankly it makes me chuckle already..i cant tell him and put him under 'pressure', so my mind is boggling right now....LOL.....this ttc can be viewed as such a 'black comedy' cant it? apparently we should all have sex every 2 days, all the time, and spend much time after sex lying down, even poss with our hips raised. honestly, it does sound funny!! i have to laugh...or i may hit him.

what dhs dont get is that actually you are most rampant round fertile time anyway! How do they expect us to separate out sex- sex from baby making sex at this time. my dh keeps saying he wants to remember the paritcular s* that makes the baby - he reckons he can remeber the other conceptions and they were pretty good. Me - i dont care how crap the sex is as long as it makes a baby
may actually pander to him a bit though with some new underwear - might make me feel a bit better about myself too...

Hello everyone, my dh seems to be a bit more obsessed with ttc then me. He thinks we should try again in two weeks, way before my first af. I think, like me, he feels the need to fill the void.

bella, I bet you can't wait till you have the place to yourselves again. I had a house guest for 2 weeks and that was pretty hard, I really liked my house guest but sometimes you just need your own space to laze, eat too many crisps or dust in pjs.

wendy - feel free to moan as much as you want as am sure there will be many occasions when you will have to listen to me! xx

thks mishi - i can't get enough of the 43+ mother stories so always gratefully accepted! also, think you've done the wise thing not telling your d/h but just getting on with it - they have such fragile little egos, poor mites. i would have thought the fact you would even want to have a baby with them would make them realise how much you love them - esp. if, like me, you are probably not exactly earthmother incarnate. but i guess the lesson to be learnt is that 99% men want to feel the only reason you are sleeping with them is because they are a sexgod and you can't get enough of them!

Mine is a sexgod, of course.

wendy hun u r bound to be upset this week and the ttc will be the last thing on your mind....your situation is so sad as you were completely past vital point (12weeks) and tbh prob not expecting what happened...not that anyone expects it but ykwim...i hope...i thought i was 15wks but it was a missed mc so not detected in ur situation u would have had ur 2 scans and been sent on ur merry way..its just such a sad place emotionally for u to be in...sorry im probably not making sense...but just hugs to u hun

bella and romilly i can totoally sympathise with the way ur dhs are behaving..mine is a swine..lol He was so happy when o got pg again devestated when we lost pip but now only 3 wks on its like it should be done with now...he doesnt want to talk about it etc..which as we know as women we talk about it to try and work out our feelings etc...i havent even told him we r going to be ttc after my af arrives only because he will also jump on the expression band wagon of whats the rush u only want me for a beanie etc...which isnt true and i would actualy bd with him more if it werent for the fact that im exhausted after chasing a hyper 15mth old and also trying to keep on top of hw etc..anyways..lol just a bit of digression...my view is im not gonna tell im im just gonna do it frequently...when i got caught with pip i had read to do it every 3 days all through as then there would always be an swimmer for ur egg...in theory....romilly about ur age my friend had her first lo at 43 so not so much of a panic

yeah, i got "what we really need to concentrate on is a loving relationship" - umm, this is after more than 18 years of being together (a couple of blips and hiccups notwithstanding) - and no babies yet. i said - excuse me, but no actually -i think its time we concentrated on something other than ourselves cause i don't want to be one of those women waking up on my 40th birthday going "oops.. i forgot to have children"

hi everyone

wendy - don't feel you ever have to say sorry for coming on here for a moan - that's what we are here for. you've been through a tough time. now i'm in the mood for a quick whinge..

hereshoping and bella - i had exactly the same thing with mr. romilly (sorry, but the one acronym i find a bit cringey is d/h, d/p - especially when they are not behaving!). on the one hand he has been wonderful and supportive throughout the grim bits (erpc etc.) - but then out comes a sarcy comment about ttc like "so am i just a sperm-bank now". i can understand that they don't want to feel its the be all and end all - but after a m/c with all the heartache and hormones raging it is bloody impossible to be laid back about it. i also get looked at like i'm a freak when i'm taking my temperature - or eyes rolling when i am reading my persona instructions (i've made an executive decision not to enlighten him about the EWCM!!!)

dramaqueen - that sounds entirely normal post-erpc kind of aches and pains (as you say, bowel ache) apparently its your uterus contracting back amongst other things. if you are worried call your gp or epu - theres always someone you can get to talk to if you are insistent!

Thanks Bella23. Hope the rest of today is better for all of us

Just on for a bit of a moan too. Sorry! Watched a programme on UTV last night about the neo-natal unit in the RVH, Belfast. I got really upset when I saw these tiny babies who were so like our own little baby when we lost him in September. It doesn't help that his due date whould have been next Wednesday and it seems so wrong that we should be back ttc when we should be preparing for his birth. Life really is not fair. DH keeps telling me not to stress as we are at a critical stage this month for ttc but finding it very difficult. Enough moaning from me but it does help to get it out of my system and I know you will all understand as you have been there too!

Hi Bella
sounds just like type of discussions I have wih my dh! They dont have the rampaging hormones i suppose .Mines actually being v nice at present - at my ERPC in Aug 2004 i went alone and was v brave and coped - only for it all to catch up with me a few weeks down the line. This time ( yesterday) I took him and he got really upset to see me having an anaesthetic and being in pain and has promised he will be 100% in "TEAM BABY" this time - hes been pretty bloody unsupportive and all the usual stuff about 'youre obsessed', 'its ruining our sex life' etc
The advice about waiting is to date next preg, however I concieved in Nov after Aug m/c only to suddenly get v weepy and emotional about last m/c and fearful that it would happen again - which it did. So i think the advice to give yourself time emotionally is sensible and I am going to try to. Nurse yesterday said to me as I left 'make sure you keep taking folic acid' which I thought was a really positive way to send me off

DQ I had my erpc 3 weeks ago and still get the stomach cramps etc and it is a bit lke irritable bowel..or late labour iykwim...i just took it as normal so havent seen gp either...

Wendy im glad oyu fele strong enough to ttc again heres wishing u lots of luck

Well im another waiting for first af before we get to ttc properly...am hoping she should turn up soon..prob one of the only times i will be happy to see her..lol

yes girl, i'm kinda here, i'm not ready to ttc yet..waiting for total recovery from op first, but lurking here, ready! i miss our conversations but i know i cant stay on a m/c thread and expect to be happy sounding......
wendy i'm sorry to hear your story, life seems so unfair sometimes.
i hope we all get the happy ending asap - or rather as soon as we want (dont want to pressure you into ttc with us if youre not ready Girl!)
for everyone whos had an ERPC, anyone remember tummy ache -poss trapped wind kinda tummy ache but worse? i cant seem to stand up for hours (had college class tonight so had too) with out doubling over in pain. i am sure i saw somewhere some one mention something about irratable bowel feelings after ERPC.....? yes i would go to my Dr, but you know, appointment hassle, child care hassle,....so thought i'd ask here. of course its a generally upbet thread -we're talking about making gorgeous babies here!- but we should all be aware of still feeling crap somedays too. its okay to come here and say that.

wendy11, am sorry for your loss. Am sure better days are coming for us all

bella - My mum swears that 100 days is the correct waiting time!

dramaqn, just wondering if you're on this thread at the moment or somewhere else? Missing you and hope all's well with you and everyone on this ttc thread too, hoping to join you soon....

Thanks romilly and Bella23. Will have a look at that site later. Just reading on another site about CM and how to improve it. Don't know much about this but here is what it suggests.
Cut back on caffeine and don't smoke
Drink at least 10 6oz glasses of water each day
Evening Primrose Oil - 1,000 IU/day from CD1 to OV
Flax seed Oil - 2,000mg/day from OV to AF
Red Raspberry - 1,000mg/day starting anytime in cycle. Can be taken during pg up to one month prior to delivery as it strengthens the uterine lining and so lengthens the luteal phase
Grapefruit juice
Will have to leave this for another months trying as currently on CD12 and +ve OPK so should probably get off this thread and prepare for DH coming home as some serious BDing to take place over the next couple of days irrespective of the CM situation. Catch up later

Wendy - its actually called "taking charge of your fertility" and there is a website TCOYF.com - which might help.

i must admit i havent started checking out the EW yet (still waiting for AF before i start) but because a lot of people say its the best indicator of when you are ready to roll i shall try and get the hang of it!

We tried for five years with four failed attempts at IUI in that time. We finally conceived naturally in April 2004 only to lose our baby at 23 weeks in September 2004. Currently on our third cycle of trying - charting temps, using OPKs etc Makes it all the more difficult knowing that it took so long to conceive the first time, and not really knowing if it will happen again, but have also been referred for IVF so maybe we will have a happy result somewhere along the line. Here's hoping it works out for all of us in the near future.