Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Very nervous to TTC after a miscarriage but am going for it

537 replies

Bella23 · 20/01/2005 09:19

For those who want to look to the future and TTC again I would really like some support, advice etc.
I thought we needed a new thread with positive energy (yes have turned into chanting hippy) so that we feel we are moving forward rather than dwelling on what has already passed.
The only thing I can concentrate on at the moment is that next Wed is the day that me and DH can start trying again (this will be 2 weeks after ERPC).
Anyone else ready to try again?

OP posts:
dramaqueen72 · 28/01/2005 12:44

joseyjo- so so sorry to hear your sad story. i really hope this is your year. you its amazing how many people have sad stories isnt it? when it happens to you you feel like the only person in the world. i wish you well ttc.
yes, well you wont believe how early i've tested in the past 10days post o is my earliest i think. got a bfp at 12days past o once you see so i never can quit trying! spend small fortune on hpts. should have got shares in them.....
i think i'm going to stick at opks for a month or so before trying the temp and full charts (done full charting before...v time comsuming!!)
bella, i have a lot of questions about not waiting for af at least once..... so will ask you them soon as i get them on paper. if you dont mind...i dont want to add to your worries tho!
i dont get friday feelings...weekends are bloody hard work with everyone home. personally i quite like mondays

hereshoping · 28/01/2005 12:34

Josey Jo - welcome to thread - sorry about sam -how awful he didnt make it at 33 weeks. Hope you find support on this thread - most of us have had pg losses and god it helps to let it all out here
dq - my GP said that cycles take 2 months to normalise after erpc - certainly last time i bled v little at start , then brownish spotting on and off, then what I thought was a light period at 3 weeks then an infection then a proper Af at about 5 weeks ,this time v different - 3 days in and heavy consistent bleeding
from what I understand, although it is possible to get pg before ist proper AF would be lucky to do so. I may 'practice' when bleeding settles but will reserve real efforts for after proper AF

wendy11 · 28/01/2005 12:01

Joseyjo, I am so sorry about your little son, Sam. I know only too well the heartache of losing you little one, having lost our son Adam on the 24th September 2004. My thoughts are with you and hope all works out for you very soon.

Bella. I am also using the Boots digital thermometer pack that romilly uses. My DH gets up each morning at 6.00am so I usually just stick my arm out grab the thermometer and put it under my tongue until it beeps and then roll over for another sleep! Needless o say the first few times I did this I got the strangest looks from DH, but I think he now just humours me in all my mad plans at ttc.
We got some good news this morning as the health board we live in has bought two more cycles of IVF treatment and as we are second on the waiting list it looks like we may be offered our first cycle of treatment very soon. I'm trying not to get too exicited as I know IVF is the end of the road as far as ttc, but just hoping that it works for us.
Hope everyone is getting that Friday feeling - its the weekend! Yipee

yingers74 · 28/01/2005 11:08

Joseyjo, welcome to the thread, everyone is lovely.

I am very sorry to hear about Sam.

Original poster
Bella23 · 28/01/2005 09:42

Yes exactly - no one is capable of waiting - not in our nature!!

OP posts:
joseyjo · 28/01/2005 09:31

Thanks Bella. I am not sure it helps to know!! If I had more willpower then I would stop testing so early and just wait and see. Unlikely though!!

Original poster
Bella23 · 28/01/2005 09:28

JoseyJo, sorry to hear about Sam. I am glad that you have reached the point where you are ready to trying again. Very early miscarriages are very common indeed. As technology has changed and you can now do a preg test as early as one day past AF people are finding out they are pregnant a lot earlier and therefore people know they have had a m/c whereas years ago people would have just thought their AF was late.
As you will see from this sight, there are so many women who have had a m/c or even repeated m/cs and have gone on to have perfectly successful pregnancies. I think the best advice is to just hang in there and keep trying and hopefully people on here will keep you sane!
Welcome to the thread!

OP posts:
joseyjo · 28/01/2005 09:17

Hello!!
This is my first post and I wanted some advice/info.
My history is that I conceived by (happy) mistake last feb and gave birth at 33 weeks via emergency c section in september to a tiny but beautiful baby boy called Sam. He survived for 3 days in the neonatal unit and then died on 26th September 2004. I miss him every day.
I am now ttc again and last month did two faintly positive tests but then got af very heavily on day 37 (normally 30 - 32). I have been told that it was probably a v early mc but that there is no way of knowing. Does it matter? Should I worry?

Original poster
Bella23 · 28/01/2005 09:15

DQ, yes we have launched straight back into TTC so fire away with anything you want to ask.
I think my body has settled down although still get the odd random spotting (kind of dark brownish) so like you keep getting freaked out by that and wondering if it completely normal (now 16 days since ERPC) or if I am damaged!
Kind of wondering now if we should have waited at least a month before ttc just to make sure everything is ok but too late for that! Guess at the momemt there is so much going round my head that I will worry about anything at the mo!
Friday today though so things looking rosier already!

OP posts:
mishi1977 · 28/01/2005 00:05

DQ
i wasnt talked thru the before or after which upset me a bit, any info i got was from online. I am actually quite angry with the hospital they just sent nurse who said everything was taken and will be cremated and that you will get af in 4-6wks if you need painkillers then take them...i was like , anyways time to move on...

dramaqueen72 · 27/01/2005 23:09

i'm sure i had my af much sooner last time -sooner than 4-6wks i mean. i think it was more like 3. i seriously hope its three this time, cause six weeks...well i'll be driving you all mad! today i feel odd and crampy.....but surely cant be O pains yet? must be 'left over' surgery pains right? sigh... i wish a dr would actually talk me thro the actual AFTER operation normalities/things fixing/how it should feel/and whys etc etc. they do so much talking about the op -which lasts what, 20minutes?- but i never saw a dr afterwards. my Gp is not the same. she is very.......'nice' but not exactly flowing with conversation. shes one of those who says 'hhhhmmm' alot. which tends to stop the conversation dead. so i rely on you guys to say 'oh yes i feel that too' what would i do without you?!
bella its you whos not waiting for af , just straight on with the trying? can i ask you lots of nosey questions about that?

mishi1977 · 27/01/2005 18:40

rom..i had my erpc on 30th dec and i know they said around 4 weeks but up to 6 for af to come...Im just imaptient also i was getting af type pains a few days ago and also had some spotting so assumed she was on her way

Original poster
Bella23 · 27/01/2005 18:11

Thanks so much Spaxecadet, positive stories like that really help

OP posts:
Spacecadet · 27/01/2005 17:29

I just wanted to say good luck to everyone on this thread,I too know the heartache of losinga much longed for child having had 1 stillbirth and 2 misscarriages, however my dd1 was conceived within 2 months of my son sam being born asleep and is now a healthy 13 year old, I also have 3 other healthy children, good luck and sending positive vibes.

Original poster
Bella23 · 27/01/2005 17:00

Thanks Rom may check it out doe next month. At this stage am willing to try anything - not like I am obsessed or anything you understand - YE RIGHT!

OP posts:
romilly · 27/01/2005 16:51

bella - i use a digital thermometer kit from boots - that comes with a diary for charting - not expensive (about £15). i've just started taking temps, but you have to do it before you get out of bed at approx. same time every morning.
which can be a bit hit and miss in my case!

mishi - i think you are just 2 days behind me if i remember correctly. i am unsure about when you are meant to time the AF date from, but i am presuming the erpc date.

Original poster
Bella23 · 27/01/2005 16:16

Wendy,

regarding this temperature taking, do you just use a normal themometer? Do you take it every morning before you get out of bed? And are you waiting for a slight raise which signals ovulation is soon?
Sorry so many questions but at the moment just using ov sticks and wondering whether to start temping as well for a change?

OP posts:
wendy11 · 27/01/2005 15:45

Yingers
I record a gold dot on my temperature chart for each time we BD. Best not to tell DH this though as could result in a severe swelling of the head!

romilly · 27/01/2005 14:59

hi girls, me too - as in - no sign of AF yet - which makes it 29 days from date of erpc for me. how many is it for you mishi?

mishi1977 · 27/01/2005 13:00

aww DQ ur hubby sounds like a diamond....my hubby is generally sweet although like most men a bit dimmer in emotional situations although he did ask last night if we were gonna try for another...and heres me thinking im being sneaky keeping it from him...lol...only prob is still no sign of af and im getting impatient now..lol

Original poster
Bella23 · 27/01/2005 12:39

Dramaqueen - so sweet that your DH is asking when WE ovulate - bless!
So funny how far I think things have changed and then realise that I am quickly turning into my mother as things never change that much as men really are all the same no matter what decade we are in!!

OP posts:
dramaqueen72 · 27/01/2005 12:33

oh yes, a star chart! my dh would get sooooo excited at a gold star! i can just imagine it.....
bella, sounds just like my dh! wanting brownie points for everything he 'remembers' from our last fight!!! the other day he made dinner...as in 'empty contents of freezer on to try, bake in oven' kinda make, and must of mentioned it fifty times over! its like; hello? i do that ALL THE TIME!! no-one gives me brownie points for it! but he is a sweet heart sometimes too. cant live with 'em, cant live without 'em......
this morning he asked me 'are we ovulating yet?' which made me giggle (i'm not even at that point yet) he was so serious. he wants a girl again, if he gets a preference, so hes most concerned about having sex around '0' but not exactly at '0'.......sounds like hes been reading to many of my books!!!

Original poster
Bella23 · 27/01/2005 09:17

Do you Yingers the sad thing is that my DH would probably like that!

OP posts:
yingers74 · 27/01/2005 09:07

Perhaps we should all get one of those reward wall charts for out dh/dps! Each time they behave they get a star on the chart and if they get 7 stars then they do get a medal!!!!!!

Original poster
Bella23 · 27/01/2005 08:55

Dramaqueen I have just laughed out loud at your comment of "I have to laugh or I may hit him".
They really do make you scream!
My DH came home last night about 9 after draggin himself away from a work's do. He knew after the screaming row we had the previous night that it was our "fertile window". Now this did mean that he was taking on board our chat but did he have to tell me about 15 times that he had left early because of me????? So basically he was a saint because he left a drinks do to come and ttc - he wanted a medal. At times like that you just want to batter them!!

OP posts: