Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Have I made myself infertile due to abusing my body for years?

35 replies

Prayingicanfixthis · 14/08/2025 16:12

When I was 11, until around 14 I was pretty severely anorexic. I didn’t become extremely underweight, but I started as likely morbidly obese, and ended at bordering on underweight. I got to this point via pure starvation, and I was definitely malnourished.
Then at around 17, I started dating a man who was a fair bit older than me. He gave me chlamydia. I only discovered this recently at ~20 years old when he messaged me out of the blue to let me know to expect a msg from the sexual health service soon as he had been tested for chlamydia, and suspected he gave it to me all that time ago, and that he was sorry.
This was such a shock and hasn’t stopped playing on my mind about the effects of what the chlamydia could have done to me throughout this time.
I did a lot of ‘party drugs’ from 16-18, the thought of it now makes me sick but I did abuse mdma and cocaine very very frequently throughout that time.
Just to make matters worse, my mum has PCOS and it took her 10 years to have me, and had to have IVF.

Do you think all of this abuse to my body over the years has permanently damaged my reproductive organs, and has effectively rendered me infertile?
Or is this reversible, if so, what can I do?

I’d just like to add that I know I will be judged for all of these things, and I know I may seem like an awful person. Trust me, I regret everything I have done far more than you could imagine. It causes me great distress and sadness thinking of what I have put myself through, and the long term effects it might be having on my body. If I could do one thing, it would be to go back in time and do things right.

OP posts:
Original poster
Prayingicanfixthis · 14/08/2025 17:04

I am definitely going to try to talk to my doctors about things. I am worried they will say that because we are young, and not especially ‘trying’ to have a baby, that they will discount me and not do any testing.
We have been having unprotected sex long enough that something should have happened by now!

I feel so guilty and horrible about everything.

OP posts:
Coffeeishot · 14/08/2025 16:35

Mushypeas101 · 14/08/2025 16:17

Fertility is still a huge unknown. Lots or seemingly healthy people with no underlying problems struggle to get pregnant and equally, plenty of people with “chaotic lifestyles” can fall pregnant at the drop of a hat.

We can’t change our past, all we can do if work on now. I doubt the drugs and the eating disorder will have any effect and you’re still young. Make sure you get the chlamydia treated asap and try to lead a healthy lifestyle now. Keep a healthy weight, everything in moderation. But also - life is for living!

I was going to say something along these lines but you articulated it better.

Op everything is an if/what / maybe. But i think if you go to your GP and ask about fertility then they can advise, are you taking prenatal vitamins?

Original poster
Prayingicanfixthis · 14/08/2025 16:34

I understand where you are coming from rationally.

Emotionally, it feels so incredibly unfair that the things I did at such a young age, some in my control, some out of it, and some as an attempt to feel in control at the times when I wasn’t, are going to dictate the path of my entire life.
I don’t see how I can continue my future if I am not able to become pregnant.
Maybe this is bad to say, but I do not wish to adopt, foster, babysit or have a pet. I have a cat who I love very deeply, but it is just nothing alike.

OP posts:
MrsHiggins1 · 14/08/2025 16:30

I know people can and do get pregnant while actively using drugs, and that there are parents out there who treat their children badly or shouldn’t be parents at all. But your health history, including infections, poor nutrition, and past drug use, does mean there’s a higher risk of complications or harm to a baby’s development, and some effects can be permanent.

I also realise that being told you might not be able to safely have children, or that it might not be the right choice for you, can have a big impact on self-worth and mental health. That’s why it’s something to approach with proper medical advice and emotional support, so you have the facts and the help to process them. It’s not about your value as a person, it’s about protecting your health and preventing harm to a child.

If caring for someone is important to you, there are other ways to do it safely, like adoption, fostering, babysitting, working in childcare, or even having a pet. Those can still give you the fulfilment of nurturing without the risks pregnancy could bring in your situation.

Original poster
Prayingicanfixthis · 14/08/2025 16:26

TurnmyselfoffshallI · 14/08/2025 16:17

Hopefully you will be ok. You should I think get some tests done given your history if you are planning to conceive :
Ultrasound scan
HyCoSy
bloods - TSH, AMH, FSH, LH, oestrogen,FBC
BP check / BMI
It better to be a few steps ahead than ttc for months and then check for any issues . Good luck 🩷

Thank you.

Do you know if I’m allowed to request these tests if me and my partner haven’t been properly ttc in this time?
We haven’t been using protection, and we’ve had one very early miscarriage. That is the closest to pregnancy we have got.
I just want to know. I want to be a mum more than anything in the world and the constant thoughts that it isn’t going to be happening is destroying my mental health.

OP posts:
SnackAckerTack · 14/08/2025 16:22

Nothing to judge here!

You are where you are, and every day you make your way through it as best you can.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 14/08/2025 16:20

You are not a bad person, there is nothing to judge. Things like untreated chlamydia can affect fertility but they don’t always by any means. But it’s luck of the draw for all of us really, I absolutely wouldn’t assume any damage has been done. I’d try and get some tests done on your fertility just to let you know where you stand and hopefully give you some peace of mind

TurnmyselfoffshallI · 14/08/2025 16:18

Also , I want to say that nobody will judge you at all. We’ve all got things in our past that might not be ideal but there’s definitely no judgement from me

Mushypeas101 · 14/08/2025 16:17

Fertility is still a huge unknown. Lots or seemingly healthy people with no underlying problems struggle to get pregnant and equally, plenty of people with “chaotic lifestyles” can fall pregnant at the drop of a hat.

We can’t change our past, all we can do if work on now. I doubt the drugs and the eating disorder will have any effect and you’re still young. Make sure you get the chlamydia treated asap and try to lead a healthy lifestyle now. Keep a healthy weight, everything in moderation. But also - life is for living!

TurnmyselfoffshallI · 14/08/2025 16:17

Hopefully you will be ok. You should I think get some tests done given your history if you are planning to conceive :
Ultrasound scan
HyCoSy
bloods - TSH, AMH, FSH, LH, oestrogen,FBC
BP check / BMI
It better to be a few steps ahead than ttc for months and then check for any issues . Good luck 🩷