Page 30 | TTC#1 - Looking for Others in the Same Boat PART TWO THE SEQUEL WHERE WE ALL GET OUR BABIES???!

MocktailMe · 2025-06-05T01:31:25+00:00

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/conception/5093665-ttc-1-no-previous-pregnancies-cycle-6-looking-for-others-in-the-same-boat?page=40&reply=144772936 Hi everyone! I can't quite believe it but after a while year we only went and filled the last thread. I'll tag you all below so that you can find me! If anyone silently reading along wants to keep following - here's the place. If anyone wants to read the fertility journey for the last year have a look through the last thread.

PearOpal · 16/06/2025 18:58

@MocktailMe i completely feel your pain. I also tested today like the silly goose I am. Technically DPO 9/10 but I also traveled to a different time zone so that likely didn’t help me. I usually feel confident that I’m not getting a BFP and accepts an early BFN but this month there’s a part of me that just feels different but with no real symptoms. Idk this is hard. I will probably test again in the next day or two get that BFN and feel like it’s an answer I can accept but for now…I’ll keep chugging along.

Waitingformiracle · 16/06/2025 14:55

@MocktailMe thank you so much for your kind words I really appreciate it!! Do keep us posted on your tests, I’ll have everything crossed for you!! 🤞

Original poster

MocktailMe · 16/06/2025 14:40

I absolutely get you my love, it's not an easy fix by any means. I'm pleased to hear you have two to take forward into testing - one hurdle at a time. I know statistically 3 cycles of IVF gives the highest chances so it definitely isn't a short game here, but you are taking control and giving yourself the best change science has to offer. No one deserves that chance more! I'm still rooting for you and sending you a virtual hug at this difficult stage! Xx

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Waitingformiracle · 16/06/2025 12:43

Hi @MocktailMe thanks for checking in! I’m currently waiting for our return consultation with our doctor to discuss our PGT results (we tested our embryos after what happened with our first pregnancy). We have two good quality embryos but that doesn’t mean they will be euploid i.e. genetically ok, so we have to wait and see. If one or both of them is healthy then we will go ahead with a transfer at the end of July. I am keeping my hopes very low. Unfortunately ivf isn’t necessarily the “fix” that it can seem like, so I know that it might not necessarily work for us right away. At the moment we are on a natural cycle so we will try ourselves this month but I know that it’s realistically not going to happen. I hope that your vfl progresses over the next few days, fingers crossed 🤞🤞 it’s a very anxious time I know

Original poster

MocktailMe · 16/06/2025 12:21

So it's 48 hours since the vvvfl/evap and the test this morning looks negative. Which is fine really as I'm only around 9dpo so it's still incredibly early, but I think does mean the 7dpo absolute squinter was just an evap!

I'll keep testing over the next few days. I'm still having the symptoms I've had, but Im trying to screw my head back on; I know how much my cycle can change my body and I need to not read too much into it. It's so incredibly hard. I hadn't realised mentally how good that TTC break had been for me and it's soooo hard being back in it - especially now we are in the last stages before commencing our IVF. I just want a healthy pregnancy and baby so so badly.

Father day was rough - I would have been 6 months pregnant now and I know I would have done a cute card for my partner and have the 20 week scan behind us, we would know the baby's sex etc. Grief is so unexpected and sometimes it just creeps up and whispers in your ear to remind you of what you've lost and it absolutely consumes me.

I've got my fingers crossed for @Tater05 and @CharLdn - a suprise for either of you would be so welcome this month and I really hope we will have some good news soon!

Would love to hear how your IVF journey is going too @Waitingformiracle

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Tater05 · 14/06/2025 23:09

@CharLdn we're due around the same time. I'm also in a mindset of I'm probably not pregnant, I'm just assuming it won't happen naturally for us now. It does make me feel more relaxed about it. I have the occasional drink here and there, pretty much the same as you, I won't have more than 2 a week unless I'm on my period. Usually less to be honest but I don't think it hurts to have a couple

CharLdn · 14/06/2025 20:04

@MocktailMe oh wow back on the rollercoaster again. Keep us posted on the tests let’s hope for 3rd time lucky 🤞

I’m actually not symptom spotting this month and feel weirdly not bothered I’m just 100% I’m not going to get preggo naturally so happy to just go through the motions while we wait for ivf. Maybe this is the just relax everyone’s been talking about?!

My husbands been weirdly hopeful ans it’s post hycosy and has said we both shouldn’t drink. I’m still doing what I’ve always done which is sticking to a 1-2 drink rule once a week during the TWW which seems reasonable.

Hopefully this time next week I’ll know more as I’m due Thursday-Sat…

Glad there’s a few of us in the same boat!

KT199 · 14/06/2025 14:42

Oh gosh @MocktailMe, I had such similar feelings the day I saw a positive test so soon after my MC so completely get it. My anxiety was so high.

Fingers crossed this is the start of a line which progresses into a perfect pregnancy for you. I would be running to boots as I found their early detection tests took a lot of guess work out of it for me and the lines were much clearer compared to my cheapies!

PearOpal · 14/06/2025 11:31

MocktailMe · 14/06/2025 10:45

So much CM I feel like I've wet myself 😫 plus mild cramping and backache. If it's not pregnancy I'm expecting my period to be earlier than i'd thought it was going to be as these symptoms could also be that. I'm just generally terrified as last time around I had cramps. But then I do know some cramping can be totally normal in intrauterine pregnancy and not indicative of ectopic too. Can't tell if these are one sided - it's also worth noting last time I was convinced the ectopic was on the right side from the pain and it was actually in the left so I don't know that I can really tell anyway!! I certainly couldn't last time.

I really thought I was ready to go again but the fear is already back stronger than ever and it's only my first cycle trying again!

CM seems like a strong positive sign though right? One of the few things that generally trends the other direction when you aren’t pregnant. Given what you’ve been through that fear is only natural. Hopefully this will be sticky and healthy BFP and you can lay those fears to rest soon!

Tater05 · 14/06/2025 11:15

@MocktailMe I would totally do the same and test again tomorrow anyway, I don't understand how anyone wouldn't! I really do wish that pregnancy symptoms weren't the same as period symptoms. Your fear is normal, it's your mind trying to protect itself after what you've been through.

@PearOpal I'm still only on 3dpo, I had some cramping yesterday and I usually get my period a week after those cramps. It does feel particularly early though so I'm just hoping my luteal phase hasn't gotten even shorter, I usually only get about 10 days as it is.
Good luck holding off the testing 😅 you can do it I'm sure! It softens the blow slightly when you have something like a wine night to go to. I'm due AF while I'm at a wedding so I can also enjoy the wine when that happens

Original poster

MocktailMe · 14/06/2025 10:45

So much CM I feel like I've wet myself 😫 plus mild cramping and backache. If it's not pregnancy I'm expecting my period to be earlier than i'd thought it was going to be as these symptoms could also be that. I'm just generally terrified as last time around I had cramps. But then I do know some cramping can be totally normal in intrauterine pregnancy and not indicative of ectopic too. Can't tell if these are one sided - it's also worth noting last time I was convinced the ectopic was on the right side from the pain and it was actually in the left so I don't know that I can really tell anyway!! I certainly couldn't last time.

I really thought I was ready to go again but the fear is already back stronger than ever and it's only my first cycle trying again!

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PearOpal · 14/06/2025 10:05

@Tater05 how’re you coming along this cycle? Am I right in thinking you’re around 4/5DPO?

Im 7/8 as well depending on which app I choose to believe - Im traveling today and still dealing with consistent nausea but it seems early for that to be real - I’ve got a ladies wine night planned for Wednesday so I’m hoping I can hold off until then to test and then enjoy with abandon when it’s the BFN 😂.

PearOpal · 14/06/2025 10:02

@MocktailMe ive literally never seen a positive pregnancy test in my life so 0 judgement for wanting to keep an eye on it. Fingers crossed that that VFL becomes a big and bold one. How are you feeling overall, any symptoms?

Original poster

MocktailMe · 14/06/2025 09:54

Yes I'll need to contact EPU asap to get bloods taken and an early scan - this is what's driving my anxiety although realistically finding out in a week won't make any difference!

I'll likely test again tomorrow morning if I'm honest but I won't be expecting any real changes until another 2-3 days (if I'm not imagining it entirely/misreading an evap 😅)

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Tater05 · 14/06/2025 09:17

@MocktailMe I can see a vvvvvvfl there! Test again in a couple of days, my fingers are so crossed for you! When you're pregnant again do you have to contact EPU with your history? Or just keep a look out for symptoms?

Original poster

MocktailMe · 14/06/2025 07:52

Down the rabbit hole I go again...

First test this morning (I know, I know!!!) at somewhere around 7/8dpo. I know it's ridiculous to even test at this point but my anxiety is just uncontrollable.

This could very well be an evap but it does look an awful like the very early positives I've had in the past. I know only time will tell.

TTC#1 - Looking for Others in the Same Boat PART TWO THE SEQUEL WHERE WE ALL GET OUR BABIES???!

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Tater05 · 12/06/2025 17:15

@MocktailMe I agree, that is the one benefit! I know so much of the science behind it now and I just wish they'd teach us that at school. If I ever have a teenage girl I'll be telling her these things, because there's so much explanation for the way you feel depending on where you are in your cycle and I just had no idea before.

Good idea putting your symptoms on here! My fingers are crossed for you 🤞🏼

@PearOpal the second week of the luteal phase is the worst! I've had months where I've been really good at not thinking about it until that last week where everything feels like it's something 😂

PearOpal · 12/06/2025 17:09

I’ve officially entered the symptom spotter stage of the TWW. Feeling super nauseous and exhausted - but given I’m DPO 6 I know it’s too early to be feeling much of anything oh well only 10 more days to go!

PearOpal · 12/06/2025 17:03

@MocktailMe this may make no sense but I just want to say that I give you a lot of credit for putting that out there. It can be so hard to find a balance between protecting your heart and staying hopefully//avoiding cynicism. Obviously hoping for your instincts to be right but there’s something to be said for giving yourself the reminder for future reference either way. Crossing my finger for you! What DPO are you?

Original poster

MocktailMe · 12/06/2025 16:33

Just putting this out into the universe. I think I'm pregnant again. I don't know if this is because I have been pregnant recently that it's easier for me to mistake every feeling as pregnancy (you feel a variety of feelings when pregnant after all), or if it's straight up hope, or if it's real. But I am currently almost certain.

I'm posting this because if I'm wrong I want to be able to look back and remember how real it felt, so I can check myself in the future. And if I'm right....then I guess perhaps i really can 'just tell'. Who knows.

The things that are making me feel pregnant are : sore, heavy boobs. I know for a fact I've experienced this multiple times 😅 but did also experience it pregnant. I've got lower back/leg cramping. My eyes feel dry/tired. I am tired. I have this odd blood flowy tingly not quite pins and needles sensation in my arms and hands. I remember feeling this and the eyes thing a lot when pregnant. But I want to write all this down because if it turns out I'm not I can know it's not a definitive sign for me. I may well have had it other times too but just won't have paid attention!

I'll find out in less than a week anyway, but I wanted to share my feelings today.

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Original poster

MocktailMe · 12/06/2025 14:12

Hey @Tater05 welcome to the 2WW it's great to have you here 😂 great timing on catching your peak too! I think the one benefit (and it really is the only one!!!!) of fertility struggles is how well we learn our bodies by tracking so much over a long period of time. I understand my cycles and moods attached to certain times etc so much better than ever before, and am getting pretty good at recognising ovulation. If only i had learned this as a teenager! I was always being surprised by my period arriving back then, now I'm on watch at the right time!

I agree we all seem in a better headspace this time around (although I admit I probably dragged the mood down more than anyone over the last year, although probably understandablely so!) and I really do feel this year will be THE year for all of us now ❤️ I could never have known what lay ahead last June!

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Tater05 · 12/06/2025 12:00

After not doing OPKs for nearly a year I'd forgotten how quick my peak is! Luckily I've got so good at knowing the signs we dtd about 2 hours before the peak test 😂

@Thisisouryear2025 sorry I never replied! I think it's good to have a plan like that, hopefully that might take some pressure off as well and give you more of an if it happens it happens mindset. I'm taking vitamins B, B6, C, D, iron, folic acid, calcium magnesium zinc, and COQ 10. Gave up with a multivitamin because I'm taking most of it in separate tablets these days! We're on the 16th cycle, I'm looking at the first year as the trial run.

This thread seems more positive so far, fingers crossed we can keep it up!

PearOpal · 11/06/2025 14:41

@MocktailMe having that referral in hand can be so key to feeling in control of whatever you decide to do next. Crossing my fingers for you!

@CharLdn its going. I’m a bit sniffly today (DP5) so trying to avoid convincing myself this is on of those colds folks get because a BFP is on its way. We’re moving this week so I’ve been able to be relatively distracted…plus all my tests are packed somewhere so I’ll definitely put off early Testing 😂. How are you?

might as well go ahead an BD if you’ve got CM and you and DH arent over the action! Sending baby dust!

CharLdn · 11/06/2025 13:45

@PearOpal how are you with the waiting? I definitely think distractions are good!

CharLdn · 11/06/2025 13:44

@MocktailMe totally understandable with your history - my new paranoia is we haven’t had enough sex but tbh neither of us can be bothered. I had CM today so might go for today (day 18) just incase?!

I keep on getting my hopes up in the TWW so I’m trying to be conservative with expectations and focus on just having a normal summer before IVF.

Still no idea when it will be the doctor say we should hear in 3-4 weeks… it’s been 1.5

And now we wait…