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Original poster

TTC#1 - Looking for Others in the Same Boat PART TWO THE SEQUEL WHERE WE ALL GET OUR BABIES???!

788 replies

MocktailMe · 05/06/2025 02:31

www.mumsnet.com/talk/conception/5093665-ttc-1-no-previous-pregnancies-cycle-6-looking-for-others-in-the-same-boat?page=40&reply=144772936

Hi everyone!

I can't quite believe it but after a while year we only went and filled the last thread.

I'll tag you all below so that you can find me!

If anyone silently reading along wants to keep following - here's the place. If anyone wants to read the fertility journey for the last year have a look through the last thread.

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Original poster
MocktailMe · 21/09/2025 22:09

You are so right. We are both at an EXTREMELY hormonal time in the cycle - it really affects how you see stuff!

The last two cycles you have been ovulating later - for me days 8-14 are pretty much irrelevant, hopefully you stick to this pattern and it won't matter at all.

Regarding age, it's so hard as I feel the crushing pressure of the clock every single day. I may be 32, but I'm in an area where most women my age have a tween at least. If it weren't for the tubes I didn't know were damaged i'd be one of them myself. I'm sure if I lived in London no one would think anything of my age as a FTM, but the cultural expectation is so tough. Biologically though, things look good for you, and I was unknowingly barely fertile when I was still in my teens. So really, age isn't such a important decider!

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CharLdn · 21/09/2025 15:57

@MocktailMe yes perspective is so important.

My latest paranoia is my age (36.5) means I’m too old even though my amh is 30 so it’s not like I’m running out of eggs.

I’m trying to remember that how I feel is drastically affected by where I am in my cycle so while this week is always hard thangs should get better.

I’m also hoping that my holidays will have some magic effect albeit I’m missing out on days 8-14 because I’m away. But I’ve been ovulating a bit later anyway…

The horrors persist but so do we!

Original poster
MocktailMe · 21/09/2025 14:39

@CharLdn ahhhh mate I feel you. I work with many women who get pregnant by 'accident' (I'm not sure I even believe this is possible any more 🤣) and it's so hard and unfair! I have to keep reminding myself pregnancy isn't a lottery. There isn't only one baby available for everyone I know each month - someone else getting pregnant doesn't mean the baby went to them this time. But even thinking about it makes me mad, the world really isn't fair!

I've finally tested this morning at 11dpo (the first test - who even am I?) and it stayed as stark white as before I dipped it. I know, I know, 11dpo doesn't mean I'm 100% out - but it's so unlikely now it may as well mean that! We have our first tests at the IVF clinic next week, and thank God, because without that on the horizon I think I would be feeling very desperate. I still am, actually, but I'm trying to remind myself it's not the be-all and end-all.

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CharLdn · 21/09/2025 11:33

@MocktailMe I did one test in the end but then my period came bang on time. I’m feeling low today but I need to just remind myself it’s OK to be sad, and only 5 more cycles to go before we stop. I just feel like we’re trying everything and nothings working.

Also I started talking to a friend who’s just started trying like 3 months in and it sounds like there’s a high chance she’s pregnant this cycle so it’s very hard not to be bitter. She wasn’t even tracking her body just going off the app. (Meanwhile I’m doing EVERYTHING). I really want to try to ‘just relax’ and stop thinking about it but it’s hard.

Welcome back @PearOpal ! Good to have you back on the roller coaster 🎢 ❤️

PearOpal · 21/09/2025 09:01

ahhh it’s alright! TTC is exhausting but we all get to continue at our own pace. @Waitingformiracle & @MocktailMe how’re you all getting along?

Waitingformiracle · 20/09/2025 16:26

I’m sorry to hear you’ve been having a difficult time @PearOpal 😢 glad your DH has returned and as @MocktailMesaid that last day may have been perfect, you never know!!

Original poster
MocktailMe · 20/09/2025 16:19

Hey @PearOpal great to have you back and happy to hear your husband's home! The last day may well have been enough! Let's hope, but if not you've got a whole fresh cycle where you'll get loads more tries in :)

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PearOpal · 20/09/2025 08:35

HI ladies. Sorry for disappearing. DH was deployed for a bit and it just took a lot out of me both for obvious reasons and because it interrupted our TTC journey. Glad to see everyone is still progressing in one way or another. Sending baby dust to those in the TWW.

DH returned in the last day of my window so I’m assuming I’m out this month but excited to finally get back to consistently trying.

Original poster
MocktailMe · 18/09/2025 02:10

I think even if it scientifically doesn't 'do' something it's still good to do things that feel good. Many years ago I had reflexology done as part of my treatment for anorexia - it used to honestly make me feel like I was wrapped in a fluffy cloud, I loved it! I was very lucky that it was funded for me as part of my treatment, as I think it's probably very expensive? They were clear it wouldn't cure me, but could help me mentally and it really did!

I have been surprisingly good haha as usually I'm ripping open the tests at 6dpo 🤣 I think I might test when I wake up as it will then be 8/9 dpo so might be worth doing. I just feel like it likely won't work this month and kind of sliding into the mindset that the upcoming IVF cycle is the only thing worth trying (true or not!) so it's been easier to step away from the tests!

I think the temping not testing is a good strategy! At least it will give you an idea of whether it's a cycle to get excited over! I hope it will be!

@Waitingformiracle thank you for the positive vibes! It would be so lovely if it was a BFP!

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CharLdn · 17/09/2025 22:04

@MocktailMe it doesn’t hurt and I’m not sure if it does anything but my Accupuncturist is actually the nicest person I know - and she’s a bit like a therapist but doesn’t probe to talk about my childhood lol.

She’s very reassuring and knowledgeable and I always feel better having been. She also said with miscarriages her experience has been if there isn’t anything wrong most people conceive again within 6 months so 🤞

You’re being good not testing I’m going to try as a personal challenge not to test this month. Tbh last time my temperature told me everything I needed to know so I’m trying to trust that.

we had sex every other day days 10-20 and I think I ovulated day 16/17 so I’m about 7dpo. I’ve come back to more of a place of trust the process and acceptance now which is good too.

Waitingformiracle · 17/09/2025 20:51

Hi ladies!! I was only thinking of everyone today and wondering how everyone is getting on. @CharLdn @MocktailMe always so nice to be in the later end of the TWW so the wait isn’t so agonising. I’ll have everything crossed for BFPs for you 🙏🙏 I swear by acupuncture and I actually did it the morning of my transfer and again afterwards and I always wonder if it could have contributed to it working

Original poster
MocktailMe · 17/09/2025 20:46

Yes - CD 28 and I haven't started testing yet. Not sure when I ovulated as had EWCM from CD17-21, so somewhere in that window!

I've never done acupuncture - does it hurt??? Hopefully it will do the trick again but as you say if not it just means a few drinks abroad!!

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CharLdn · 17/09/2025 20:27

How are we all doing ladies? @MocktailMe are you in TWW?

I’m currently CD 23 - I should get my period on the weekend.

I’m trying not to symptom spot but am still taking my temperature…

I’m trying to tell myself I won’t be dissapointed in this cycle because I can drink on holiday.

I’ve got accupuncture tomorrow and superstitiously last time I had accupuncture during the implantation window I got pregnant so I’m hoping she can poke something into place if it’s there…

CharLdn · 12/09/2025 12:48

@MocktailMe new tube new me? For TTC 2.0.

I’m also about to head into TWW - although its more 1WW for me as I don’t know when I ovulated.

This cycle we’ve hit days 10,12/13, 15,17 and I think I want to keep going till day 21.

My temp still hasn’t risen yet so I think if we carry on a bit longer it can’t hurt.

I’m trying to get back into the headspace of not being attached to the outcome, and accepting we’re rolling the dice each month and that’s ok.

Also I go on holiday for 2 weeks so the plus side of not being preggo is I can have a few wines!

Original poster
MocktailMe · 11/09/2025 16:56

TTC phase 2.0! I like that!

I agree, you have to find what's the best, easiest, least stressful way for you. I'm really hopeful though that you won't need to be at it for the long haul this time. The fact you conceived straight after that hycosy before really does make me agree new tube - new you!

We need just a TINY bit more good news here and then all of us will be on the other side!!!

I think I've finished ovulating now, so heading into my two week wait. We will see, I'm not expecting anything though, at all!

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JHpr · 10/09/2025 14:54

@CharLdnmy temp is still high and period is due tomorrow/Friday so I’m taking that as a good sign for now! I hate the waiting game, these next couple of days are going to be tough😂

CharLdn · 10/09/2025 14:45

@MocktailMe thank you I’m feeling much more like myself again which is amazing. And I’m just thinking new tube new me is my new motto.

Also I think while the approach of sex 3 times a week seems more than 2 weeks of every other day (which is what we’ve been doing) I think not tracking takes the pressure off an intense time.

Also I like the idea of doing something different during TTC phase 2.0

@JHpr welcome!

When I got pregnant (sadly also miscarried) I only got a true positive day 12/13 - I found my temperature stayed high and that was the one reliable sign.

Every month post miscarriage I’ve 100% convinced myself I’m pregnant - especially last month as I had loads of unusual discharge but I don’t believe it till my period is actually late/temp stays high.

Its a bloody rollercoaster and unfortunately it seems that time gives definite answers - everything crossed you get a positive 🤞

Original poster
MocktailMe · 09/09/2025 21:18

@JHpr I'm really sorry to hear of your miscarriage.

If you are truly 11DPO amd negative then this is when I personally would be 99% sure I was out for the cycle. However, if you actually aren't sure when you ovulated then it's certainly still possible.

It's easy for me to say when I'm not at the end of the 2WW, but (as I've openly documented on this thread) there have been many cycles when I was certain I had all the signs, and was not pregnant. There have also been cycles when I was sure I was not pregnant, and was. I don't trust symptom spotting any more. I think the only truly reliable way is testing, temping and to an extent CM tracking (in that order!).

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Original poster
MocktailMe · 09/09/2025 21:15

CharLdn · 09/09/2025 13:12

@Waitingformiracle @lavafield thank you ❤️

So exciting you get to meet your baby soon @lavafield

I’m feeling much more positive and trying to just erase the last year of anxiety and pretend that we’ve reset following my nice squeaky clean tubes in June.

@Waitingformiracle I’m going to cut down to temperature tracking only/CM and using flo to track when we have sex because I can’t go cold turkey. Let’s be honest

I think this is actually a really reasonable way to look at it. They do also say anything within 12 months is 'normal' so even though you sadly miscarried that actually does also reset your 'clock' as it were.

Technically I've conceived within 'normal' timeframes, but with pregnancy loss it doesn't often feel like that - it feels like one big long stretch of trying!

Your tracking compromise also seems really fair and balanced. CM is all I do now and it does seem to be enough to act as a general guide! I'm really hopeful for you over the next 6 months, I think there's every reason to be very positive in your shoes right now!

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JHpr · 09/09/2025 18:23

I hope it is ok if I join… I had my first positive in August but unfortunately had a miscarriage/chemical at just under 5 weeks, we tried again straight away and now I am 11 dpo (I think I may have actually ovulated later than that though from my ovulation tests) I’m having some crazy symptoms this time that I didn’t with the last. I am super bloated and I’m having a lot of nausea which has been all day until around 4pm for the last 4 days… negative test today which is bumming me out, does anyone have any experience with a negative 11 dpo and testing positive later on? I’m due on on Friday/Saturday.

Waitingformiracle · 09/09/2025 16:36

@CharLdn that sounds like a good plan!! All the peeing on sticks is definitely the most mentally draining part I think

CharLdn · 09/09/2025 13:12

@Waitingformiracle @lavafield thank you ❤️

So exciting you get to meet your baby soon @lavafield

I’m feeling much more positive and trying to just erase the last year of anxiety and pretend that we’ve reset following my nice squeaky clean tubes in June.

@Waitingformiracle I’m going to cut down to temperature tracking only/CM and using flo to track when we have sex because I can’t go cold turkey. Let’s be honest

lavafield · 09/09/2025 09:04

@Waitingformiracle It is so lovely your second early scan went great, and you can now focus on antenatal care, although the timing between scans can be still fuelled with anxiety! 😂 We did also a 10 week private NIPT just to be reassured on chromosomal health (and to find out the sex early!)

@CharLdn good encouraging news from your consultant! Mine also told me not to worry about the age too much - as long as your AMH is high and all other tests are great, this should give you a decent chance. High AMH levels also raise the likelihood that the remaining eggs are of better quality, he said. So try not to stress too much about the age, six months indeed won't make a huge difference at your age!
But it is good to hear you have plan B and can jump right into it when you feel the time has come!

Thanks @Waitingformiracle and @MocktailMe, I also think autumn is a lovely time with a newborn so looking forward to it, just need to still safely go through the remaining few weeks!

Waitingformiracle · 08/09/2025 18:54

@CharLdn that all sounds great!! So reassuring that he’s being so positive too. It sounds like you have every reason to be optimistic and hopefully your BFP is right around the corner. And if not you have the IVF in the back pocket! Great news ❤️ also lol I love when doctors say not to track and I’m always like yeah.. that’s not happening 🤣

CharLdn · 08/09/2025 18:49

@Waitingformiracle how exciting so glad it’s all going well ❤️

I had my consultant appointment today and he said because we had a long time try pre hycosy and conceived the cycle after its very likely it was a tubal issue.

So he would advise us to stop tracking anything (lol) and shag 3 times a week for the next 6 months and then if we need use ivf as a back up plan.

My amh is high and my husbands sperm are excellent (like above average) so he thinks if we just chill out a bit and crack on we’ll conceive.

So that’s the plan!

I’m feeling good we have a solid plan A and plan B. We’re going to Australia in Feb so if we’re not pregnant by then we’ll do ivf when we get back.

Our consultant was direct and almost aggressively optimistic. He said age shouldn’t be an issue and there’s likely no difference in the outcome now or in 6 months time.