TTC#1 - Looking for Others in the Same Boat PART TWO THE SEQUEL WHERE WE ALL GET OUR BABIES???!

@Waitingformiracle really glad to hear it went well! I'm in the same position, had my scan yesterday and everything looked really good but just waiting on those results now. Fingers crossed for an email for both of us!

@PearOpal that is always how it goes! I hope the last days of your TWW fly by

@MocktailMe I'm so sorry you've had more stress. Evap lines or a chemical, it must be so stressful to see after the ectopics. Exciting to have your consultation coming up soon though, good to have that to focus on.

@lavafield thank you!! Yes praying I’ll see an email pop into my inbox sooner rather than later!!

Thank you a much @MocktailMe feeling so relieved!! I definitely have a bloaty bump but it’s hard to know if it’s actually a bump or not!

I’m so sorry you’ve had all that stress with your evap lines, I can only imagine how worrying it is when you’ve been through everything you have with your ectopics. It could certainly have been a chemical too. Hopefully this cycle brings you some new hope with your ivf appointments progressing too, when is your next appointment?

@PearOpal I hope this TWW flies for you! It’s truly such a painful wait!

@Waitingformiracle So glad the scan looked good! I hope the test results would be as good! Ours came faster than expected, and seeing an email pop up rather than receiving a call - which would have meant the results are not great :-/ - was a relief.

@MocktailMe Good luck this cycle, and good to know you are now so close to IVF if needed!

And thanks everyone for well wishes! Good luck this month everyone in TWW!

Thanks so much @Tater05 just home and everything looked great!! Bit of a wait now for the results and hopefully all is ok, but everything on the scan looked good 😊

@Tater05 i would be telling a massive fib if I said I was going to wait until I missed AF 😂. Realistically I’ll probably do cheapie tests from tomorrow through 12 DPO unless my temps start dropping. I’ve never even seen a shadow of a positive test so at this point I always have a mix of “there’s no way” and “maybe this time is different” - that’s just how it goes I guess

@Waitingformiracle Best of luck with the scan today! It's such a lovely feeling to see an actual baby shape in there after seeing a little blob! I hope it goes really well.

@PearOpal 7dpo onwards is the worst part of the whole cycle 😩 sometimes I went into it with my hopes fully up, sometimes I tried to convince myself it's so unlikely as it hadn't happened before so tried to ignore everything (so hard to do!). Are you going to test early or do you usually wait for AF to arrive?

Well here I am in the TWW getting my hopes up likely for no reason again. 7DPO and when I tell you I’ve even exhausted all week despite going to be early every single night. Plus my BBT is just on a steep incline of temp rises. I’m expecting it to drop in the next day or two but in the meantime I’m trying to keep reminding myself that we basically blew past my ovulation window so there’s like 0 chance.

Thank you @PearOpal!!

@lavafield thank you!! I’m really hoping all is looking ok in there tomorrow and it will be so nice to see the baby now at this size! And to find out the gender! Hard to believe you are just a few weeks away! Glad you are getting good care and they are going to bring you on early to avoid any risks. We will all be so excited to hear your news when baby arrives! 🤍

@MocktailMe im sorry that happened but I’m glad you’re feeling better about it. Your journey is your own and no one has the right to make you feel so judged in such a vulnerable place. I hope your next appointments are smoother and that this was a one off.

@Waitingformiracle hoping all goes well during your follow up!

@lavafield so glad you’re doing well and feeling properly cared for

@MocktailMe Hope it was a one off unpleasant encounter at the clinic and won't be repeated but of course this is so disturbing! I hope at least they are doing their job properly and your test results will come back quickly, and the journey will roll smoothly!
To be honest, I also found that the first booking appt with midwives was also mainly questions about the lifestyle 🙄

Also, on the topic of age, please don't let this add an additional stress! Also @CharLdn , I did worry about my age so much too, even with good AMH, and I am older than you are ladies.. It is all really individual and each of us has their own pace. It does help living in an area where it is totally normal to see FTMs in late 30s or 40s, but societal pressure can be hard, j agree!

@Waitingformiracle Hope your NIPT goes well, good luck! We did it and it was such a relief! Also to see the baby jump on scan at 10 weeks was precious, and it was nice to find out the gender early too!

I am almost there now, just a few weeks left. I do have risk factors that will mean delivery brought forward to 38 weeks, but I feel I am being well looked after!

@MocktailMe Sounds like the nurse you had was just being a bit awkward with you for nothing.. I find sometimes people get that way and actually it’s nothing at all to do with you it’s all them. Not that it’s okay, but you could have caught them on a bad day ect. Hopefully this person isn’t setting the tone for your full experience, which I don’t think they will.

It is unfair to comment on prenatals ect especially when the only thing the NHS actually recommends is Vitamin D and Folic Acid. But well done you for being the bigger person and starting them again!

I think there must be some (limited) evidence in relation to the health and lifestyle choices people make, but I’m not sure I believe it is 100% relevant. The way society has changed.. women historically were told drinking Guinness in pregnancy was fine due to iron content and smoking was promoted for weight loss ect.. yes a lot of research has helped with this but ultimately people living the unhealthiest lifestyles of all still used to get pregnant and there was no COQ10 available. Do what you feel is enough and manageable.. don’t stress over small things if you can avoid.

The first appointment is a huge milestone to be celebrated. You’ve now actually started the journey which hopefully leads to your baby!!! I’m sat living in hope over here for you 🫶

I’m into my third trimester now which is crazy.. I’m hopeful we will hear of some more positive tests before the end of the year for this thread 🤞

That sounds like a great plan @MocktailMe!!

And thank you. All seems to be well but it’s so nerve wracking just having blind faith that things are ok in there. I actually have my NIPT / NT this Friday and so I’ll get a scan for that, and will be 10 weeks on Saturday so hopefully all is looking ok!

@MocktailMeit sounds like you and your partner lead a very healthy lifestyle!! I don’t think you have anything to be worrying about! And I completely understand about the prenatals. I can’t tell you how many times I just said what’s the point and didn’t bother taking mine for a while when I was feeling down. I really focused on taking them in the lead up to ivf but otherwise I definitely dipped in and out. Oh my husband also took a men’s one, he was very forgetful about taking it but I figured some is better than none so maybe you could see about your partner taking one of those!

You guys have got this 💪❤️

@MocktailMe I'm so sorry you experienced that at your first appointment. That nurse has an awful bedside manner, you're doing your best and looking for reassurance and she starts berating you about taking pre-natals (which gets damn hard after so long!!), what a way to kick someone when they're already down. I can't pretend to know what starting the IVF process is like but I do know how hard it is to feel like you're running out of hope, please don't let this experience define your next steps. Like @Waitingformiracle said you can change clinics, or it might have just been that one nurse at your current one and hopefully you never have her again.

They always struggle to take my blood too and I've not once had them get frustrated at me for it, what on earth!
I really don't think they'll be judging you for anything, and if they are that's on them - they're supposed to be there to help and support their patients. Sending a virtual hug and positive vibes ❤

You can absolutely also change clinics if you are not happy!! You shouldn’t have to tolerate poor treatment. We got a lot of lifestyle questions at the very beginning yes, just the usual ones about smoking, drinking, exercise etc. I would expect that it will just be the first appointment that you get those kinds of questions if it’s anything like my experience. I think it’s very natural to worry about everything. Try not to worry about your partners weight, it’s the sperm parameters that matter for men and really not a huge amount else (the lucky things). If you feel like you want to get into some better habits in preparation for IVF then it’s not too late, but honestly I was no saint in the lead up to mine. I drank wine, coffee, ate takeaways, didn’t exercise as much as I should. I tried to make some simple changes to improve my health where I could but I also didn’t go crazy! As far as I know there are only two reasons why a clinic won’t treat someone and that is 1. If they are over a certain age and 2. If they are over a certain BMI. It doesn’t sound like you fall into either of those categories. My gut is that this was just one snooty nurse and everything will be absolutely fine 🤍

Hi @MocktailMeI’m so sorry to hear about your experience. It sounds like that nurse had a terrible bedside manner!! It is such a huge step to decide to go through IVF and is so daunting for couples, these clinics should be making everything easier on us not making us feel worse. You still have plenty of time to start taking pre-natals. Some women don’t even know they are pregnant and certainly aren’t taking any and only start on their folic acid once they find out! I also always have the same problem with my bloods and the last time I got them done the nurse asked me the same thing about hydration to which I smugly answered that I had already drank a litre of water.

As hard as it is, try not to let one poor bedside manner ruin your excitement about the prospect of getting pregnant. Today you are one step closer to your baby! When my clinic p*ssed me off I used to just think ok I don’t care as long as they give me a baby, and I would just try and focus on that. You took a big step today and should be proud of yourself for that!!