calling old duffers or old up the duffers

Teatime - so sorry to hear your news - sending you hugs {{{{}}}}
Sliminside - yes, go for it if you want another. Not wanting dd to be an only child was the main factor for us deciding to have another. As you can see from this thread there are LOTS of older mums here and I certain none of them have any regrets. Good luck!

Merlin, I can totally relate to fears of coping with 4 year-old and baby, as my DS will be 4yrs 4 months when no. 2 arrives. I keep panicking and thinking their needs are going to be totally incompatible. It'll be OK when he's doing his indoor activities but when we are out, all DS wants to do is tear round on his bike--which is fine at the moment cos I can bike along with him, but I can't do that with a newborn clamped to my boob. Mind you I don't think that's any easier when you're 33 as opposed to 43 (like me) though!

Well, of course I don't think 39 is too old! I'm 41 and my baby (2nd) is due on the 7 Feb. Conceived with no problems at all at 40.

Sliminside (love the name!) you're only a baby, I'm 42 and expecting no2 early April. If it's what you and your partner want then go for it. The only bit I'm dreading is coping with a very lively 4yr old and a baby!!!! Anyone got any tips???

Hi all, this thread is amazing. I am 39 (40 Sept) dh is 32, ds is 4 in May. I was pregnant last year went for 20 weeks scan and sadly the baby had died.

I know dh would love another but I am not too sure, thought I was too old until I looked at this thread and seeing other wonderful women have been through the same experiences but I am scared that the same thing would happen

Will keep reading with interest, you never know I might just start trying for another.

Lots of baby dust to everybody ttc.

TeaTime, Sending ((((hugs))))) so sorry to hear your news my thoughs are with you..

Teatime-I am sorry to hear your news.

My friend had IVF twins when she was 39/40.Then she concieved naturally & had a little girl in October this year.She had her 43rd birthday just after the birth.

Hi all ive just decided to try for another baby im 39 and ill be 40 in a few months time, i have a son aged nearly 4 and i woke up a week ago and had a really strong urge to have another baby, i know it sounds daft but i cant explain it i dont want my son to be an only child so does anyone have any advice for me do you think im to old? look forward to hearing from you

So sorry to hear your news teatime. For some (non Cherie Blair) stories to cheer you up google 'mothers over 40' - wish I knew how to do links. Some very inspiring stories there. Thinking of you. XX

Portree. It is the same UCH. The Reproductive Medical Unit is round the corner in the Elizabeth Garrett Anderson Hospital. They only go as far as IUI there and you are referred on for IVF. I think ACU is mostly private. We may have shared the same consultants - I know they work at both. They both have a really good success rate too

We were all gunning for you so much Teatime - that is just so sad to hear. You sound like you are being amazingly strong - i do know from bitter experience how heartbreaking a loss like this can be, as do sadly, many others on this thread. Good for you for wanting to try again - we'll all be rooting for you.

BL, there was no wait for the NHS SA, at least not in our area. IIRC, the hosp accepted SAs on certain days and DH just had to fit into that timeframe. I'm considering a name change too for similar reasons. Just a bit of paranoia kicking in.

alwaysaythankyou - I'm a VBAC (vag birth after c-sect). 1DD at 38, 2nd at 40 and I was fine.

Thanks Portree - I was asking about SA. Do you also know if you have to wait for it on the NHS?

By the way all, I've changed my name from Wifeof. I just had a strange feeling that I should do it before someone recognises DH......

teatime so sorry honey

Wifof, just realised, were you asking about a private semen analysis or IVF? I'm losing the plot and fear getting everyone muddled up. Anyway, IVF was private.

Welshmum, I was at the Assisted Conception Unit (ACU). Not sure what RMU is. Too many acronyms! And yes, I had successful IVF/ICSI on our first cycle. They are god-like in my mind. Are we both talking about UCH London?

Wifeof, the first SA was done through the GP - she wrote a slip for it and provided the container. Was quite stressful as we then had to get it to the hospital and the hosp only accepted SAs within certain times, traffic was horrendous and DH had performance anxiety so we were rushing. Quite farcical really.

To cut a very long story short, DH had a consult with a Urandrologist privately. It was unequivocal that we needed IVF/ICSI (unless we could wait for up to 10 years for things to get back to normal and I was 37 at the time) and it was through him that DH then did subsequent SAs privately at UCH where we had treatment. Now, I'm not sure if you can just ring up a private clinic and request a SA without first having a consultation with them. Don't see why not. Might be worth ringing around a few to see what they say. GP should be able to point you in the right direction, though ours was out of her depth and useless. The cost is about £90. I know my DH found it much less stressful than the mighty dash on the NHS.

Teatime - (((hugs))), so sorry to hear your news. Take care honey.

Portree - how do you go private? Do you go via your GP?

Portree - - where you at the RMU too? Did you have successful treatment there? sorry if I'm asking you to repeat information, thread is quite long now

Welshmum, I was at UCH too.

Teatime, so sorry to hear your news. It just seems so unfair sometimes.

Mumfun, already mentioned here is Toni Weschler's book and there is a website too which has lots of active and informative boards here . I did download the software and ended up buying it as I liked it so much. Useless now of course. If you are interested in lifestyle/alternatives you could try doing some of the Zita West recommendations and supplements. I don't have the site to hand but do remember it being very useful. Accupuncture is often recommended too. There has also been much hype in the US over a lubricant called Preseed - there's info about it on tcoyf.com.

With respect to when to seek out 'help', I think if you are fairly confident that you are doing the deed at the right time etc, then after 6 months is a good time to go to the GP. I'm sure that that is the recommended time period for the over-35s. No harm anyway.

Marinda, my DH has had loads of semen analyses and really there is no great mystery, just masturbating into a wide necked container then getting it to the lab within the 2 hour time period whilst keeping it at body temp - pocket, under arm, down bra. If you go private then you don't have the almighty dash to hospital praying for no accidents or traffic chaos (btdt). Your DH will be shown to a private room where there is, ahem, appropriate reading material, does the business into the pot, gives it to the nurse or whoever, then the sample will be analysed at the lab there and then and you can wait for the results (unless more in depth tests are done) or phone for them later the same day.

Teatime, so sorry to hear your news xxx

Pacinofan - I might be too late with this but when you have IUI they give you 2 inseminations on successive days just after you've ovulated. You then lie still for 20 mins with your bottom slightly elevated (pillow underneath) Might be worth doing that after you've had your own private insemination from dp......

TeaTime, so sorry to hear your news; sending you my commiserations.

link to alternative therapies on Fertility Friends. Hope it works

www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/board,14.0.htmlrks: