calling old duffers or old up the duffers

Hi Michaelangelo. Sorry to hear you're feeling low, me too. Just like you, I had convinced myself I was pregnant (sore boobs, slight nausea) then af arrived. Am currently on cd 15 and hoping we've managed it this month, you never know. I too am ttc no 2 and have been since August, like you I'm 37 and feel time is just passing so quickly. We did manage a BFP in November, then sadly miscarried. Anyway, will keep trying, at the moment I'm just trying to concentrate on our dd and trying to forget about ttc, hard I know though. Best of luck, Helen.

I haven't posted here for a while , trying not to get too obsessed. But was so convince this month i was pregnaant (mineral water for me too) but af appeared this am. Feeling v low i know there are many reasons why you can have one child and then have probs ttc no 2 but i'm finding it v hard as every one else i know who had baby at same time (or after me) either has no 2 or is pregnant. Going to see doc next week its been 10 months now and i'm 37 so hope he'll listen. sorry for rant but feeling v low and there soen't seem to be much info on secondary infertility.

oh goodie

congrats sliminside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what a fab 40th pressie. lots of sticky babydust to u.

Hi everyone sorry ive not been on for a while, i was getting a bit possesed by the computer haha Well the good news is i found out yesterday that im pregnant (over the moon). I only came off the pill at the end of december so im well chuffed it has happened this fast, ill be 40 in 2 weeks (great pressie)so my plan to have a baby this year is right on target, I`m so happy i could sing.

hiya marinda, teatime, decaf, pacinofan

marinda - i am doing ok thks, albeit a little stressed out. persona 0 day today (earlier than expected) so its busy time for me how are you feeling? any less sick?

I'm still knocking around too, although I'm not sure whether I want to try to be an up the duffer again. DH is completely obsessed with his teacher training course. It IS very intensive but I think he is also completely avoiding the issue of whether we want to ttc. This is when being over 40 really matters--if I was only 35, say, we would have no qualms about deciding to put off ttc until he is more settled in his new career. But at 43 and a half, I feel I don't have much time to make a decision.

I'm still here too and have joined the cautious after m/c conception thread as well - lots of youngsters (not yet 40!) on there, as m/c hits indiscriminately which is an uncomfortable comfort for an oldie like me. Will probably be my last year of trying - saw my GP this week who has referred me to appropriate section of the hospital, so will get more specialised advice I hope.

Hi, I'm still here too, just got my AF but still soldiering on! DH always seems to be away at the critical time, even so I had convinced myself that we had hit bingo this month - felt sick, sore boobs, etc, then lo and behold AF appears! Funny how you can convince yourself you're in for a BFP isn't it? Ah well, least I can have a glass of wine now (went for lunch on Friday with DH and he was in total shock when I ordered mineral water THATS how convinced I was)!

Will keep trying, who knows, if we were lucky this cycle our due date would be early December - lovely!

Hope everyone all ok here, keep posting,

Helen

hi mumfun - sorry to hear you got your AF, but if you didnt want a xmas babe then maybe just as well.
will be interested to hear how your fertility appt. goes.

good luck.

where did all the old duffers go? hope the ones who got up the duff are doing great - hester and marinda

Hi

Hope youre all ok

I got AF as thought I would so soldiering along as usual. DS as usual is getting up at night a lot coming up to the critical time so not too hopeful this month. DOnt really fancy a Christmas baby but will have a go anyway.

Have booked a fertility doc appointment just to ask them what they think - would any help be of use to me - I personally think Im just as likely to get pg naturally but want to cover all bases if I can..

Bye for now

MF

Hi all, sorry dizzymummy, no experience of that situation - it sounds quite specialised so it might be worth starting a thread to see if you can get a wider audience.
Madness - I totally empathise with the 'if anything goes wrong it's my fault for being too old' feeling - it seems so unfair that women have this restriction on fertility when men can carry on fathering into their 60s. However I had a fantastic pregnancy and healthy son (first baby) at 42 so try not to worry too much. Now I'm 45 and the risk of m/c and all the other worries is much higher, but I still cling to hope that I can be one of the lucky ones.

p.s. marinda - being sick is good really, just stuff yourself with ginger biccies and enjoy!

hi dizzymummy - 'fraid i cant answer your question and a lot of the old duffers are a bit quiet at the moment! so maybe you should post a new thread to see if anyone can help - if you havent done already. good luck!

bye bellalasagne - and best of luck too

marinda - so glad you didnt get the dreaded diary again. hope its all going well for you.

Hi all,

Just a quick and final update. After my BFN I ended up with AF finally showing up 7 days late. What an awful week. I was not convinced I could be pg but even so was having some strange symptoms (enormous bbs, loads of CM etc) which made me think it might be possible. Needless to say I was distraught when AF showed up on Thursday.

Dh and I are convinced its because of stress; of getting the news of his tests, and me using OPKs and other means to find the right time. We now think our GP was right because of this, i.e. we shouldn't be ttc as impossible as it seems.

So, I've decided to stop posting on here (for now at least) to see if that takes my mind off it and helps us to relax. We know it's going to be very hard - how do you simply forget everything you've been thinking about for months (or, in my case, years) on end?

I just wanted to thank you all for your support on this and the other ttc threads, and wish you all the best, whatever your situation, and loads of babydust ...

.·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
( ¸.´¯*·´¯·
.·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
( ¸.´¯*·´¯·
.·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
( ¸.´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨)
.·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
( ¸.´¯*·´¯·

(I'll probably give in in a matter of days and check up on you all, but for my own sanity must not post!!)

So as much as I love you all, I must say a fond goodbye for now....

LOL BL xxxxx

Hi everyone, hope it's ok for me to join this thread. I used to visit this site a lot but haven't been on for ages! I am an old duffer also (38) and wondered if anyone can offer any advice??

I have been ttc for 3 yrs (have one dd). Had a laparoscopy followed by surgery to remove adhesions caused by a c - section. Has anyone had this and successfully conceived afterwards?

I am afraid of an ectopic preg as have been told there is quite a high risk of this eek!!!

nikkichick, funny, I also wanted to have my children before 40 y, It seemed to be some magic age, beyond which I would/"should" not want to have more children...
Now 41 and just pg
Must say I'm more scared about it all this time round; If anything goes wrong, well, it's because i'm too old...

Nikkichik - you've got more than a year then - think positive! there is a great thread called 'nervous to ttc after a m/c' which is full of support and immensely positive, when you are ready you should drop into.

Am 39 in April!!!! I really, really wanted to have another baby before I was 40! - could still happen I guess. I actually wanted to be pregnant before dd was 3 (and I actually was for a short while!) but can't do that one now since she was 3 yesterday! Sorry to hear about anyone elses m/cs - it sadley seems that it's more common than you think!

nikkichik - i was really sorry to hear your news (and teatime). there were an awful lot of us around that time . Btw, when is the impending 39 - mine's impending too.

where's marinda? hi and hope you're doing great!

Thanks all, am feeling better (but very aware of impending 39!) and chatting about it on Mumsnet has really helped - taking strength from knowing that you are not alone sort of thing. Fortunately we hadn't told anyone so didn't have that to worry about. Have subsequently told a few people what's happened but what can they do other than be sympathetic. Have decided to try and stop obsessing about ttc and take dh's approach of 'if it's meant to be it will happen when it happens!' Frustratingly obvious and easier said than done, but we have already got a beautiful 3 year old (as of yesterday) dd so should be concentrating on her!

Nikichik, just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear your news. I know it is of no consolation, but what you are describing happened to me in December. I too had a BFP, only to miscarry a week later. DH and I were so upset, particularly as we had told our families. I know a lot of folks think it mad to tell so early, but when I was pregnant first time around I worked as air cabin crew and grounded myself straight away. It seemed that 'cos I was having to announce to the entire company I was 5 weeks pregnant, why not tell family too? We never stopped to think about miscarriage, and we were lucky to go on and have a healthy daughter. This time around we weren't, and I doubt whether we will feel confident about telling folks again until much later.

Take things easy, really hope you are feeling better soon.

Helen

Hi Nikkichick,
Sorry about your disappointment. I've had two of those 5 week m/cs (before having ds at age of 42) but I hadn't done any testing for either so the doctors have never really believed me. In a way not having any hopes raised made them feel like a late and very heavy period - very unlike this time round when I had a due date and midwife appointments etc. Not even being forty yet I think of you as a young duffer!! You have plenty of time - just keep going for it!

As an official old duffer (am 38!) I thought I'd let you know this A week last Friday I had a very strong BPF - hurrah and very excited. however, subsequent tests got fainter and fainter and then on the Wednesday, I started bleeding heavily! So can only conclude that I had a very early miscarriage. Feel a bit better now but couldn't stop crying when it happened - poor old dh didn't know what to do with me. Anyway, onwards and upwards and keep trying I guess! have booked a Doc's appointment to try and talk about what's going on and get myself checked out - have been ttc for 10 months now!!