calling old duffers or old up the duffers

thanks Marinda - hugs back{}!
PG with ds was the happiest time of my life - no sickness, lots of 'happy' hormones - I just sailed through on a cloud especially after the 20 week scan gave a 'no abnormality detected' verdict. Worked up to the last two weeks. Was 6 days overdue and desperate not to be induced so glad when labour started naturally. Labour itself was a terrible shock (never been in agony before - not even toothache) but got through without epidural and had a normal delivery apart from an episiotomy - very proud of myself but miserable at the lack of emotion at the moment of birth - ds whisked away to clear meconium from his lungs and me just numb from the recent trauma. Took ages to get over that.
For me the failsafe indication that something is 'up' (the duff) is keeping a temperature check each morning and when the high of ovulation just stays high I know I'm pregnant. Has worked for a couple of 5 week miscarriages when I hadn't taken a preg test but knew I must be pregnant and then bled for two weeks as opposed to 4 days. Unhelpful doctor wouldn't 'believe' it first time round since I hadn't checked for pregnancy. It's unbelievable how hard it is to get clear information about something so common as miscarriage (I just wanted to know when the bleeding would stop!). As for other symptoms - slightly sore boobs but nothing else to speak of - nothing seems to make me go off my food .

I had dd at 42.5 via IUI (fourth try) with fertility drug assistance - against all odds for a woman my age (IUI usually works better for younger women). Tried for a sibling at 44 via IUI, but was advised by my aggressive/progressive London fertility clinic not to waste time as the clock was ticking. They said I should move straight to IVF due to age related raised FSH levels.

I did a course of IVF, and achieved a pregnancy at 44.5. We saw the heartbeat at a 6 week scan, but sadly none could be detected 2 weeks later at a scan done after some light bleeding.

My doctor advised that my body needed a few months to recover before trying IVF again. He also advised that once I had reached 45, he would suggest using an egg donor as the chances of a successful pregnancy were remote. Obviously there are exceptions to this (Cherie Blair and teatime to name only two!), but the lesson to be learned is that 45 is generally viewed as the turning point for using your own eggs even with the added benefit of fertility drugs. I guarantee the older women going through IVF are doing it with donor eggs.

Good luck teatime. Will keep fingers crossed that all goes well for you.

Marinda, my symptoms have been so different this time around. With DS my boobs were so sore that by wk 6 I couldn't lie on my front, but I only had intermittent nausea. This time I've had lots of nausea, fatigue, bloating and dreadful wind--but the boobs aren't nearly as sensitive (and I never got the blue veiny thing last time, either).

I'm late getting back to this, but yes actually marinda pregnancy is a risk factor with Bell's Palsy and I know that I am at a slightly increased risk of getting it again. My OB said he could consult with a specialist if I wanted to try to get pg again but didn't know offhand exactly what the risk was.

Marinda, that's the crap thing about ttc isn't it? The symptoms of early pg and impending AF are so similar. I conceived last year in June after 11 months and after all those months of checking for symptoms I noticed that when I did finally conceive my boobs did not get 'veiny' until I was about 6 weeks pg. Sore, yes, but no veins till then. During the previous months I would convince myself that I was pg when I saw blue 'roadmaps'on my chest - only for AF to show up. HTH.

Meeee I'm an old duffer - 38 and rising....

Just found this and think I qualify! Finally found the right man in my late 30s....! Had ds at 42 after 2 years of no contraception and fairly relaxed trying (keeping temperature chart etc but not stressing out too much). Been hoping for a brother or sister for ds and am now 9 weeks pregnant at 45 - will be 46 on due date. However already had scan for threatened miscarriage and although it hasn't happened for sure yet I'm preparing myself for the worst (scan on Weds). I know I have slim chances of having a normal healthy full term pregnancy but I've been lucky so far so why not again? Just getting pregnant was a huge relief and a great moment for me. How I wish I was 40 again like some of you youngsters!

Age wasn't an issue last time and my midwife said she had a woman of 52 on her books! Don't think the pregnancy went to full term though.

My age related issue is a huge fibroid which is the size of a 20 week pregnancy... Fine when I'm not pregnant but a bit worrying now that I am.

p.s. i forgot to say - you are all whippersnappers relatively speaking - my gp has a 45 and a 47 yr old who have both got one in the oven recently...

i'm staying marinda - coz u all sound like a fun and wise bunch of old duffers to share trying to get up the duff stuff with

where's hester?

Marinda - to answer your question it was just pure luck - wouldn't have a clue when I'm at my most fertile to be honest. And we certainly weren't at it like rabbits all the time, so as DH said before .... "Super-sperm strikes again" ..... he gets sooooo boring after a while!!!!

Just dropping in to say I'll join you but am a bit short of time at the moment.

I'm 40 in 17 days time (and in total denial), am ttc #3, on cycle #7 cd4. Dh is 42 and has just made the decision to get his swimmers checked at great relief to me as he had mumps 4 years ago.

BFN, love Wifeof xxx

Oh no, not offended at all. I've just decided that 'late' procreation is probably the most subversive act we could commit, will bring civilisation as we know it to a halt, etc etc.

well done marinda - (apart from the thread name which is crap if u dont mind my saying so) - anyway i'm 38 yrs young too - with no sprogs yet - but watch this space..

Just wanted to clarify that I didn't want to post anything controversial or offensive to anyone - I just thought what the Dr was saying about it being a societal and cultural thing that we are in many ways 'anti' people getting pg over 40 and that it isn't necessarily supported in nature was interesting and hopefully encouraging for those in that age bracket who might be worrying that they are 'past it'.

I wish lots of luck and healthy babies to all of us ttc of whatever age

i heard the article on woman's hour and found the woman's views who was against ivf after a certain age offensive. her only argument was that a child born to a woman in her fifties would have a huge burden of care for its parents and it should not be allowed. the ivf expert argued with this and said that occasionally women in their fifties still conceived naturally and in fact the numbers that would want it on ivf would be comparitively small. i wanted to say to this woman - would she therefore stop anyone who has a terminal of life-threatening illness or condition from ttc (naturally or otherwise) for same reason she gave? NONE of us can guarantee we won't be ill / unable to crae for ourselves! My mum died quite young but my dad is still going. they had me when she was 32 and he was 42. he's 79 now and going strong. no-one could have forseen that my mum would die, but it doesn't mean that my dad hasn't been a great parent, even thoguh he's getting on a bit.

oooo she made my blood boil!
sorry for the rant!

Oh, absolutely Tinker. And newspaper articles ALWAYS get that wrong - they write about 2% fertility rates in over 40s (say) but totally fail to realise that 'fertility rates' means the proportion of over 40s who get pg in any one year - NOT how many are CAPABLE of getting pg! I've written to newspapers at least three times to point this out and the Observer actually printed a clarification (in tiny type at the bottom of a page, after scaring the pants off many women! Grrrr).

Not trying to, I should have said!

I can join as well. 40 and due in May. Got pg twice at 39 but had a miscarriage at 6 weeks with the first one. Luckily, I didn't really have any problems getting pg.

I heard some of that R4 discussion. I don't know about the abortion stats but I would have thought that one of the main reasons less women have children in their 40's is that they are simply trying to. It's not necessarily to do with declining fertility.

Miscarriage is more common in older women (though luckily it never happened to me) but it can happen whatever your age. It really isn't at all unusual. Conceiving, even if you miscarry, means you are ovulating, fertile and are physically capable of conceiving again. Please don't let it make you lose heart.
There is a high rate of terminations amoung late thirties/40somethings and I think one of the reasons is the huge amount of propaganda about how we will wake up on our 35th birthdays to find our ovaries have withered to dust! Women believe this crap, are careless with contraception because they think 'I'm too old' and hey presto! Pregnant. I keep saying this but there is some evidence that nearly 70% of women are still fertile at 40, and bear in mind that some women are subfertile at 20, so that's not even a 30% drop in the numbers of fertile women, it's more like, say a 15% to 20% drop. It took me about five or six months to conceive ds (3) at 37 but ten minutes to conceive dd (due in three weeks) at 40. It's easy to say, oh, I got pg first time instantly, now I've been TTC for six months, so it MUST be because I'm older, but that ain't necessarily so - it could simply be one of those things.

Well said MI! When I was 19 I was much more compliant and gullible than I am now. And I was probably more beautiful, too--although in those days my body image was dreadful so I wouldn't have believed it.

I've been thinking about this whole issue of older women and fertility. Because although clearly some women do become less fertile in their late 30s, equally obviously lots of us don't. I had my first baby at 37 (an accident) and my second at 40 (after six months of 'trying').

Our culture doesn't value older women. And the 'biological justification' that gets trotted out for this is that we're 'past-it'. The so-called 'natural' reason for rating 19 year olds, physically, above 35 year olds is that they're fertile and us old duffers are tottering crone-like into the menopause. We're told, firmly, that everything plummets downhill from 35, including our reproductive capacity, and that if we haven't had babies before then it's our own damn fault for concentrating on our careers.

So the fact that older women aren't just running companies, looking gorgeous (admittedly not the same sort of gorgeous as 19 year olds!), clever, witty and sexy but we're also having babies - ie undermining the complete 'justification' for under-rating us - is, I think, tremendously threatening.

hello all - not joining but just wanted to butt in to tell you about woman's hour this week. The feature was essentially when are you too old for IVF? but also talked more generally about fertility as you get older - one Dr was saying that it is only since the abortion act that it has become more unusual for women over 40 to have children and this is only because most choose termination rather than more children. No idea if this is true or not but thought it was an interesting discussion. The woman's hour website also has some related articles woman'shour

can I join too please? I'm 40 in April & we're TTC number 2 without much success. No.1 happened v v quickly so this is very frustrating especially as I mc'ed in October adn things still aren't right. I'm the oldest peson I know with a toddler so think this thread is a mighty fine idea.