calling old duffers or old up the duffers

Hi

Chocolatepeanut - Im very sorry for your loss - it must have been such a shock - I personally dont mind at all that you post - I think you are right too - it is very sadly what you expereinced and we should all talk about such things and remember our lost children.

In this pregnancy I am much more aware that things could go wrong. My attitude is to be more grateful for the things that have gone right for me otherwise - because of my age the risks (mostly MC first 13 weeks I think) were much higher for carrying this child. I feel more lucky to have my healthy little toddler that I have. Im not trying to tell anyone how they shoudl feel - just me.

The reason I had the nuchal test was because last time it reduced our risks so much and made me happier through the pregnancy. If it had not come out well I feel I would have been better prepared and had time to read up etc. I did not intend to have any invasive tests as I could not liev with myself if anything had gone wrong. (But I did allow myself the option of change because I think you can never know what you will do)

ANyway thats my opinion - there is nothing so different as peoples views on all aspects of pg, childbirth and raising kids (espeially testing I think)

ANyway hope all old duffers well

MF

I am 38 next week so guess I am an old duffer??!

I did not have any tests with both pregnancies (dd 20mths and still born daughter philippa 25 weeks 05.04.05).

I declined the blood tests where you get a score as I was over 35 with dd and 37 with Philippa and knew score would be high. I would never have amnio as no point, I could not terminate, personal choice.

Not to say I did not worry like mad until 20 week scan when they say all ok.Saying that I was scanned with Philippa at 21 weeks, all ok and 4 weeks later she died suddenly in the womb for no reason.Sorry if this upsets readers

Very interested to hear your experience, mumfun. I am 41 and 6 wks and wondering what to do about tests.I was thinking of nuchal and then cvs if necessary because it could be done earlier. Would rather avoid any invasive tests of course but trying to work out the options.

Hi

Just though Id pop in here as had topic especially for us old duffers - ie testing etc when pg.

Have just had my nuchal scan last week. Was pretty good result but I was just a bit surprised by a few things (and had gone through it before so thought I was pretty clued up)There was such a big difference between when I was 38 and pg and now when 40 and pg. When they measured each baby they had about the same neck measurement. But this baby is a 1 in 278 trisomy risk whereas I cant remember totally last time as it was so low but about 1 in 700. SO the difference is just due to 2 years in age -that has amazed me.

Also didnt know there are different calculations for nuchals. I got a pure neck measurement but we got a consultatnt who had trained at another hospital and talked to us about the nasal bone structure as well. Apparenty in soem hospitals the nasal bone is taken into account on the overall risk calculaton, Our baby ahs a very good clear nasal structure which another indication that is a lower trisomy risk than the figure weve been given so we were pleased that he could tell us that.

Also was given hospital info on amnio just in case we changed our mind on not having invasive tests. Was surprised on things that can go wrong - ie didnt knwo sometimes they get mothers cells instead of babys and test fails due to that. Also in our hospital amnio is half the risk of CVS - wasnt aware of that before - they strongly said to have amnio if wanted further test.

Lots of surprises in whole process.

It has made me think I dont want to try for another child in future -always thought I would like 3 but I think the risks would probably be too high - what do others think?

We're not doing more testing - just enjoying 6 months we have left before life changes again.

Hoep all the rest of you are well and that things are going as you would wish!

MF

Miranda, that's really interesting. Have just popped in to see how everyone is, well done to everyone with BFP's, great news!

Well, no BFP's for me, sadly. We have decided to give it just 4 more cycles, and then stop. I'm finding it all too stressful and I get so excited around testing time then come crashing down when af arrives. I shall be 38 in 3 weeks and we had always said 39 would be our cut off date for having a second. We are really going to give it a go the next few months, but I have to say I don't feel very positive about it and have almost given up. Sorry to paint such a negative picture, but it really gets to you sometimes.

Hi there Y'All!

I too am an old timer 37 and ttc number 5.

I had three children easily ( first too easily!)in my mid twenties and then after a gap stopped ovulating and had to have ovulation induction with number 4.
I got pg after 4 months of injections but was getting desperate ( they only allow 6 months) when after seeing the consultant one day i cornered my fertility nurse and said 'Is there anything else I could be doing' She said simply to me ' you are taking baby aspirin' Of course i was not. I then took as she recommended every day for a month and was pg the next month - just chance perhaps.......... Later when I saw the consultant I said should I stop taking it ( fear of reyes disease and just reading gubbins on packet - plus I have 3 childrren and none of them are allowed it) he said continue till 16 weeks. This I did. Later i saw a different consultant and said to him ' Shall I stop now' he said ' the choice is yours but you can continue with it up to 34 weeks' Supposedly it helps to prevent miscarriage as it encourages blood flow through the umbilical. It worked for me and my boy is a gift! Surprisingly though I have never seen it recommended. The tablets are tiny 40 mg rings-a-bell but I am unsure and they are generally used in heart disease patients as a one a day blood thinning agent. Got them from Boots...just asked for baby aspirin ..tiny dose and no one batted an eyelid.
I believe that was what did it for me and if you are having probs its worth a go!

I've emailed you, Munz, but I'll say it again - fantastically brilliant! I'm so proud of you!

thanks girls,

(cha cha i'm on the anti natal thread now don't like to post on here cos i'm not really an old duffer!)

Congratulations Hester

Munz...Congratulations!!! I'm sure we were on a TTC thread together. Will follow this thread to read up on your news..do keep in touch

14wks+

Congrats Munz.

Hester - I'm planning to stop work at 30 weeks this time and really take it easy. Like you - don't feel I've got the energy to push it to the limit this time.

Oh Munz....I'm soo pleased for you, after all the support you've given all of us, and all you've been through

Hope all goes well and your little bean sticks!

Much love, BL xx

hest - just quickly from the www. thread, I got a v v faint BFP this morning!!! YAY!!!! will email u tomorrow from work!

Just realised that I repeated the anecdote about my mum twice in a very short series of posts. Must be really getting to me!

goldenoldie, I do hope the knackeredness lifts soon. Mind you, I'm still wait for that glorious second trimester moment when you stop feeling sick and exhausted. I still fall asleep at 9pm every night and feel nauseous all day - though, to be fair, I no longer have to hide under my desk for a midday kip, and I've not actually been sick for ages.

I wonder if these symptoms are worse because of my age, or perhaps I'm just unlucky? My mum keeps smugly pointing out how she didn't get morning sickness at all - 'But then I was 20 years younger than you are now"! It does make me worry about how I'll cope after the birth... Mind you, everything worries me about how I'll cope with motherhood. I am completely and utterly terrified right now... (though also thrilled).

Hester, Marinda - I'm way behind you at 13 weeks - but feeling very knackered and breathless. Also look very pregnant - no way of hiding it now.

Hi mumfun, goldenoldie, marinda, munz - thanks for the lovely welcome! It's good to be back, though I'm having a very hectic time at work and finding it difficult to get Mumsnet time (the outrage: don't you think they should allow for it, along with time off for antenatal appointments?).

Yesterday I felt the first kicks - what a thrill!

Hi

Just to say to Hester - never talked to you before but great to hear youre well and come thru what for me would have been very worrying 6 weeks.

Im fine - generally feeling rough and tired but so much better than first pg. Sometimes think maybe hormones not working as well but think maybe others find second less bad as your body is more used to hormones. Hope everyone else is well and glad your scan was good Marinda and hope you feel better soon

Lots of babydust to those trying.

Bye for now

MF

Hi Hester - I'm gonna be 42 when these two arrive - so I'll be the oldest mom at the gate!

wooohoooo she's back! YAY!!!!

ahem sorry girls.

Hi all, I haven't been able to visit this thread for months because my PC upped and died, but am really glad to be able to be back. Huge congrats to those of you with BFPs and my heart goes out to those who have miscarried - I've been there, and it is so especially heartbreaking at our age.

I am now 18 weeks pregnant. Have had a bit of a worrying time (six weeks of bleeding) but baby seems to be thriving. Have been feeling very tired and sick (my mum's 'helpful' comment: "Oh, I felt wonderful in my pregnancies - but then I was 20 years younger than you") but so, so thrilled to finally be pregnant after so many years trying.

I also had my 41st birthday! So will really be the oldie at the school gate..

Hi Marinda and all.Think Im due 16 Jan next year so hope to have avoided Xmas babe ( and was overdue last time) but you never know. Still taking it easy still worried re M/c rates.Trying not to get excited.

Had tried to get mind off getting pg by planning hol and buying some gorgeous summer clothes on ebay - hadnt bought hardly any clothes for 2 years. Well it worked but I dont know if your DH/DPs will appreciate me recommending a spending spree. Also did a good reflexology session 2 days before CD11/12 relevent days and think that helped massively as well.

Hope to hear brilliant news from others soon.

Mumfun

HI Marinda,

cd 28 today and no AF yet , but can't get my hopes up.

Just delivered dh's latest test to the path lab and I've had my cd21 blood test so we'll find out all the results on Monday.

Got 12 for Sunday lunch so busy now trying to take my mind off it all (except one of the 12 will be a 3 month old baby of some old friends that I haven't seen yet, but looking forward to meeting him )

Love to all,

BL x

congrats mumfun !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

loads of sticky babydust to you