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Conception

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Is 43 too late ...

33 replies

LAU81 · 05/04/2025 15:34

After meeting a slightly younger man 4 years ago and him expressing he would like a child with me , we have both decided that we shall leave things in the hands of nature ... Currently 43 . I'm just wondering if anyone else has fallen pregnant naturally in their 40s ?
I don't have any children but I have been pregnant in my 30s but chose to not continue the pregnancy as my relationship wasn't right.

OP posts:
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Bluepiano · 11/04/2025 12:52

DownWhichOfLate · 06/04/2025 16:12

Do you know what “immense” means, as you’ve used it incorrectly here

I also dislike the way they have said Down syndrome is a defect. Imagine if someone with down syndrome read that.

LAU81 · 08/04/2025 11:16

Thank you for your replies . Just a couple of factors to clear up .
Firstly , myself and my partner are having a happy life without children.. and could continue to do so. Having a child together if we are lucky enough to conceive would be a bonus . I do not wish to have IVF personally or have a doner or any other ways of having a child.
Hence my term of letting nature decide.

Secondly , I am aware that over a certain age increases risk of downs syndrome, however my view is that a child with downs syndrome is not 'defected ' as someone has implied and myself and my partner would love that child regardless of how they were born . .

I

OP posts:
CarrieOnComplaining · 06/04/2025 18:55

Fletchasketch · 06/04/2025 17:28

The chance of Down syndrome is a bit less than 2% so a more than 98% chance of not having Down syndrome. If there was a 2% chance of rain and you said there was an immense chance of rain, people would think you didn’t understand what the word immense meant. There is a higher chance of issues than at 33, granted but the odds are still in your favour.

Good luck, OP!

And Down's, and other chromosomal conditions are easily identified in early pregnancy, should you choose to make any choices in that scenario.

Obviously plenty of so called congenital abnormalities are not identifiable - but many are minor and easily assimilated or mitigated.

curliegirlie · 06/04/2025 18:54

I'm bloody glad we're better at language and terminology in the UK than the US. "Condition" is fine and acceptable, "defect" just has so many negative connotations.

www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/your-pregnancy-care/screening-tests/

CarrieOnComplaining · 06/04/2025 18:51

Jaessa · 06/04/2025 17:36

https://digital.nhs.uk/data-and-information/publications/statistical/ncardrs-congenital-anomaly-statistics-annual-data/ncardrs-congenital-anomaly-statistics-report-2020/maternal-age

Jumping from 10% under 20 to over 45% chance for over 35 of gene abnormalities in birth is an immense step statistically. OP should be taking informed decisions and not proceeding with a pregnancy based on wishful thinking.

Is it your comprehension that is at fault, or your maths? Maybe both.

Read it again. With understanding.

Jaessa · 06/04/2025 18:39

curliegirlie · 06/04/2025 18:34

Down's syndrome is not a "defect". Please be mindful of the language you use.

Not being mean, it's medical language. Don't be quick to jump into conclusions.

www.cdc.gov/birth-defects/about/down-syndrome.html

curliegirlie · 06/04/2025 18:34

Jaessa · 05/04/2025 22:07

Very late in the game, but not impossible. Keep in mind that you'll have immense chances of birthing children with defects such as down syndrome

Down's syndrome is not a "defect". Please be mindful of the language you use.

Is 43 too late ...
DownWhichOfLate · 06/04/2025 18:07

Jaessa · 06/04/2025 17:36

https://digital.nhs.uk/data-and-information/publications/statistical/ncardrs-congenital-anomaly-statistics-annual-data/ncardrs-congenital-anomaly-statistics-report-2020/maternal-age

Jumping from 10% under 20 to over 45% chance for over 35 of gene abnormalities in birth is an immense step statistically. OP should be taking informed decisions and not proceeding with a pregnancy based on wishful thinking.

Umm… I’m embarrassed for you.

Fletchasketch · 06/04/2025 17:45

Not sure which stat you’re reading because it says 400.7 out of 10’000 in the maternal age section, so 4%. OP should not make a decision based on poor maths and scaremongering.

Wells37 · 06/04/2025 17:38

I would both get all the basic check ups and eat well and take some good prenatal vitamins then see what happens.
Best to get everything checked in case there something like a blocked tube, then it can easily be fixed.

Jaessa · 06/04/2025 17:36

Fletchasketch · 06/04/2025 17:28

The chance of Down syndrome is a bit less than 2% so a more than 98% chance of not having Down syndrome. If there was a 2% chance of rain and you said there was an immense chance of rain, people would think you didn’t understand what the word immense meant. There is a higher chance of issues than at 33, granted but the odds are still in your favour.

Good luck, OP!

https://digital.nhs.uk/data-and-information/publications/statistical/ncardrs-congenital-anomaly-statistics-annual-data/ncardrs-congenital-anomaly-statistics-report-2020/maternal-age

Jumping from 10% under 20 to over 45% chance for over 35 of gene abnormalities in birth is an immense step statistically. OP should be taking informed decisions and not proceeding with a pregnancy based on wishful thinking.

4.2 Important public health indicators: Maternal age - NHS England Digital

We’re the national information and technology partner to the health and social care system using digital technology to transform the NHS and social care

https://digital.nhs.uk/data-and-information/publications/statistical/ncardrs-congenital-anomaly-statistics-annual-data/ncardrs-congenital-anomaly-statistics-report-2020/maternal-age

Fletchasketch · 06/04/2025 17:28

Jaessa · 06/04/2025 17:07

As much as you are wrong, if course.

The chance of Down syndrome is a bit less than 2% so a more than 98% chance of not having Down syndrome. If there was a 2% chance of rain and you said there was an immense chance of rain, people would think you didn’t understand what the word immense meant. There is a higher chance of issues than at 33, granted but the odds are still in your favour.

Good luck, OP!

Jaessa · 06/04/2025 17:07

DownWhichOfLate · 06/04/2025 16:12

Do you know what “immense” means, as you’ve used it incorrectly here

As much as you are wrong, if course.

Clara202 · 06/04/2025 16:59

Not too late at all but if it’s something you both want I wouldn’t recommend simply leaving it up to nature, you’ll have to be proactive. Start testing with ovulation kits and get both yourself and partner checked over at a clinic. You can wait and see if it happens when you’re in your 20s but time is of the essence in your late 30s/early 40s, you don’t have the luxury of relaxing unfortunately.

nannyrosy · 06/04/2025 16:27

My cousin is currently pregnant with much wanted little boy she is 43 x

TheLurpackYears · 06/04/2025 16:25

Hopefully you've been taking folic acid OP?
Best of luck OP. I know several women who started their families in their 40s.

IdaGlossop · 06/04/2025 16:20

I conceived naturally at 42 after a miscarriage at 41. First baby and pregnancy a breeze.

CarrieOnComplaining · 06/04/2025 16:15

I conceived naturally/ unassisted first time trying at 43, healthy pregnancy and baby.

I think the stats are overall. Either you will be one of the women who is fertile into your forties, or you won’t.

Fingers crossed for you.

DownWhichOfLate · 06/04/2025 16:12

Jaessa · 05/04/2025 22:07

Very late in the game, but not impossible. Keep in mind that you'll have immense chances of birthing children with defects such as down syndrome

Do you know what “immense” means, as you’ve used it incorrectly here

WarriorsComeOutToPlayay · 06/04/2025 08:55

I’m 42 and currently in Prague undergoing IVF (it’s cheaper here than the UK). I have had 4 failed rounds in the UK. It’s really expensive and difficult to balance with your work etc but I’m thrilled that I may have a chance, albeit a very small one.

We have been told our chances of conceiving with my own eggs are super low mainly because of my age but we are going to give it a few more tries.

We may consider using donor eggs out here if we can’t use mine and we will use my husband’s sperm. In Prague they will let a couple use donor eggs up to age 48. If we have to go down the donor egg route I personally wouldn’t want to be over 43/44.

Get yourself checked with ultrasound and AMH level testing (you can buy a home blood test off the internet and arrange a scan with ultrasound direct if you want to get cracking). This will let you know if you have a decent or low chance and if there is any… erm debris in your womb.

Your partner should get his sperm count checked too, you don’t want to go through all that only to find he has an issue.

If following your ultrasound your dr recommends a Laparoscopy which basically gives your womb a clean out -and it is very common for women over 40 to need one - bite their hand off as I know loads of women over 40 who got pregnant immediately afterwards (some delighted some horrified depending on their circumstances). I did (it was sadly not to be but was nothing age related).

So in summary:

  1. get internal ultrasound and have amh levels checked and maybe a Laparoscopy can help. Amh levels will help you decide if you want to try naturally or via ivf
  2. consider ivf with own eggs (and if so consider asking about duostim)
  3. consider ivf with donor eggs

Good luck OP.

ithinkilikethislittlelife · 06/04/2025 08:26

I had babies when I was 40 and 45. Both naturally conceived and both pregnancies and deliveries went without a hitch. Good luck.

ohreallywhatnow · 06/04/2025 08:19

You could go to a fertility clinic and get your fertility tested. I would honestly have a big deep think about it. If you do want children with him for definite, IVF would be an option too. I did IVF for other medical reasons and at 37 I was the youngest there a lot of the time (they called out dates of birth!). The vast majority seemed to be 40-45 and WITH IVF the success rates are hugely improved (although still reduce year on year.)

PaperSheet · 06/04/2025 00:23

I’m 44 and have been trying since I was 39. Have had 4 failed rounds of IVF and 3 miscarriages in the past 5 years. So unfortunately it was too late for me. Plenty of people will conceive in their 40s but sadly for others (like me) it won’t happen. Until you try you won’t know which side you fall on.

Jaessa · 05/04/2025 22:07

Very late in the game, but not impossible. Keep in mind that you'll have immense chances of birthing children with defects such as down syndrome

Summersun91 · 05/04/2025 19:07

Hello,

I met my (younger) husband at 38, started trying for a baby at 39, one miscarriage at 40, had a baby at 41, another miscarriage at 42 and now 13 weeks pregnant with my second at 43. I also have a fairly healthy lifestyle so don’t know if that has helped, but obviously had some miscarriages in there as well. So yes it’s definitely possible but not guaranteed!

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