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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC #4 at 39!

212 replies

Fluffy38 · 13/03/2025 09:35

Morning everybody, looking for support/company in my TTC journey!
Bit of back ground info I'm 39 on Saturday so well aware time isn't on my side. I have 3 Children (19,12 and 6) and have had multiple miscarriages between those 3, last year I had 2 mc and a mmc at 12 weeks which resulted in a major hemorrhage and emergency surgery! We have been TTC actively since but feel very lonely in this journey 😢 Hubby is fantastic and very supportive but I feel speaking with people going through the same will help to feel less alone and less guilty that my body is failing me xx

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Original poster
Fluffy38 · 16/05/2025 07:39

EmPeEf · 16/05/2025 01:43

Hi ladies, can I join? I’m 40 and ttc my third and my partner’s first. Have a 15 and an 11 year old. It seems to be a running theme trying to share a baby with new partners! I’m so sorry to read of the loss and heartbreak some of you have gone through. You’re so strong.

Can I ask people’s experiences with the Clearblue digital OV tests? I used the one that gives a flashing smiley face last month, it was extremely confusing and only half the tests have even worked this month! The rest gave errors. Last month I got the flashing face on CD20, negative strip test, and then AF came on CD28. Bizarre.

Has anyone experienced a change in their cycles as they’ve got older? I used to be a 28 day girl but as soon as I hit 35 it was anywhere between 31 and 35 days with a few cycles over 40! Last month was a weird one off.
I’ve always had a copper coil so never had any hormones messing up my cycle.

I’m tracking basal body temp from now on. Currently possibly on 6dpo and feeling sick as a dog.

Good morning, of course you are welcome to join! Welcome.to the crazy train lol. I was using clear blue digital ov tests and found out you have to use a new set every cycle!! I haven't used it this cycle so far gonna wing it. My cycles are still regular mostly 27-28 days but the volume of blood is far less then it was a few years ago. I think this is normal progression into your perimenopause, I read that your cycles shorten to 23 days!! Xx

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Libbynznz · 16/05/2025 04:22

Hey joining have been ttc for few years now. I’m between 9 to 12 dpo bfn

EmPeEf · 16/05/2025 01:43

Hi ladies, can I join? I’m 40 and ttc my third and my partner’s first. Have a 15 and an 11 year old. It seems to be a running theme trying to share a baby with new partners! I’m so sorry to read of the loss and heartbreak some of you have gone through. You’re so strong.

Can I ask people’s experiences with the Clearblue digital OV tests? I used the one that gives a flashing smiley face last month, it was extremely confusing and only half the tests have even worked this month! The rest gave errors. Last month I got the flashing face on CD20, negative strip test, and then AF came on CD28. Bizarre.

Has anyone experienced a change in their cycles as they’ve got older? I used to be a 28 day girl but as soon as I hit 35 it was anywhere between 31 and 35 days with a few cycles over 40! Last month was a weird one off.
I’ve always had a copper coil so never had any hormones messing up my cycle.

I’m tracking basal body temp from now on. Currently possibly on 6dpo and feeling sick as a dog.

Original poster
Fluffy38 · 15/05/2025 23:07

BabyBorn · 15/05/2025 20:02

I know! Love them! Love the heart ring too! Gorgeous! Never seen one that that before!! X

Loving the nails I'm going through a leopard print vibe at the mo!! Xx my engagement ring hubby had made for me it's gorgeous but lethal lol iv caught myself on it so many times! I have to take it off before dtd just incase I cause a mischief haha 😄, think I'm gonna have trouble sleeping tonight my minds working over time about tomorrow any answers are better then none so at least we know what we're working with or not as the case may be xx

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BabyBorn · 15/05/2025 20:06

@theonewithflowerswhat do you think you did differently conceiving No2? I definitely think age has a lot to do with it too, but especially for me. I’ve just turned 40. I had two miscarriages last year. I’m still breastfeeding my almost 3 year old but only feeding her once a day now, but I fell pregnant twice whilst I was feeding her upto 10 times a day! She kept catching illness at nursery so was poorly and I was quite lenient about it but Ive put my foot down a bit now. Always felt guilty because she’s never had a bottle but not sure if it had affected my fertility or not because I have fallen pregnant like I said. I also believe that not every egg is viable, we just have to wait for the right one! X

BabyBorn · 15/05/2025 20:02

I know! Love them! Love the heart ring too! Gorgeous! Never seen one that that before!! X

TTC #4 at 39!
Original poster
Fluffy38 · 15/05/2025 19:54

theonewithflowers · 15/05/2025 19:33

I’m not sure I think with my first I had no idea I’d struggle thought it would be easy! we had 5 years trying so as soon as #1 was 1 we thought we would go straight to using our frozen embryos but they didn’t work, then I had other treatments and gave up only to finally get pregnant with #2 when I wasn’t expecting it so I wondered was my issue stress ? but this time it just hasn’t happened and we even repeated all the tests and investigations just in case and I’ve tried not to stress but absolutely no luck at all I’m so long and I ovulate regularly and everything appears fine ?? Age might now be a factor as well I think 😭

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I have a history of reoccurring miscarriages i have big age gaps with all my children because of this, I had 3 consecutive miscarriages last year one of which resulted in a major hemorrhage and emergency surgery and blood transfusions. I definitely thing age isn't on my side anymore last miscarriage was in Nov last year and we have tried and failed every cycle since and its really disheartening xx

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theonewithflowers · 15/05/2025 19:45

*so confused not long !

theonewithflowers · 15/05/2025 19:33

Fluffy38 · 15/05/2025 14:57

That is odd, when you naturally had #2 do you think that was because of all the treatments that made it happen? A friend of mine had 2 rounds of ivf and the toll it took on her with all the meds and injections ect, she's a nurse too so she had an insight as to what it entails but they don't prepare you mentally enough for it. Hers unfortunately didn't work the 1st try completely failed and the 2nd implanted and progressed well until week 9 and then she lost her lil acorn. We will keep you company throughout your journey we have some very random conversations but in all honesty without me starting this post and @BabyBorn joining I think I'd of gone stir crazy it's been a godsend having someone to share the emotions and frustrations with xx

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I’m not sure I think with my first I had no idea I’d struggle thought it would be easy! we had 5 years trying so as soon as #1 was 1 we thought we would go straight to using our frozen embryos but they didn’t work, then I had other treatments and gave up only to finally get pregnant with #2 when I wasn’t expecting it so I wondered was my issue stress ? but this time it just hasn’t happened and we even repeated all the tests and investigations just in case and I’ve tried not to stress but absolutely no luck at all I’m so long and I ovulate regularly and everything appears fine ?? Age might now be a factor as well I think 😭

Original poster
Fluffy38 · 15/05/2025 19:02

I had mine done yesterday lol 😆 can't beat a fresh set of claws hehe xx

TTC #4 at 39!
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BabyBorn · 15/05/2025 18:51

I’m sure I would give both of my arms to have a child via IVF if I had tried to conceive without luck for a number of years but I wouldn’t do it now. I like to think nature would take its course and if it’s not meant to be then it won’t be. Easy for me to say though because I’ve had 3 children easily and two unplanned.
Yes @Fluffy38 we do tend to have some random chats! Random pictures with 💅 in them 😂😂 had mine done again on Monday 🤣 it’s so lovely to have to companionship during this long ass and stressful journey x

Original poster
Fluffy38 · 15/05/2025 14:57

theonewithflowers · 15/05/2025 14:40

What frustrates me the most is that we are classed as ‘unexplained’ so every test has always come back as ‘normal’ and clearly something isn’t right! If this doesn’t work we are going to stop and just think perhaps it wasn’t meant to be but I think if I didn’t try everything I would look back and have some regrets

That is odd, when you naturally had #2 do you think that was because of all the treatments that made it happen? A friend of mine had 2 rounds of ivf and the toll it took on her with all the meds and injections ect, she's a nurse too so she had an insight as to what it entails but they don't prepare you mentally enough for it. Hers unfortunately didn't work the 1st try completely failed and the 2nd implanted and progressed well until week 9 and then she lost her lil acorn. We will keep you company throughout your journey we have some very random conversations but in all honesty without me starting this post and @BabyBorn joining I think I'd of gone stir crazy it's been a godsend having someone to share the emotions and frustrations with xx

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theonewithflowers · 15/05/2025 14:40

What frustrates me the most is that we are classed as ‘unexplained’ so every test has always come back as ‘normal’ and clearly something isn’t right! If this doesn’t work we are going to stop and just think perhaps it wasn’t meant to be but I think if I didn’t try everything I would look back and have some regrets

Original poster
Fluffy38 · 15/05/2025 14:29

theonewithflowers · 15/05/2025 14:03

8 and 5! I needed IVF for ds and then I had lots of treatment and frozen transfers for #2 but none worked so I gave up and miraculously got pregnant with dd. I think I was hoping that would happen again but it hasn’t so we’ve decided to try just one cycle 🤞

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I really hope this works for you, TTC is hard physically and mentally but I think going through IVF must be even more so, I take my hat off to you I wouldn't be brave enough to so it xx

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Original poster
Fluffy38 · 15/05/2025 14:26

theonewithflowers · 15/05/2025 11:31

Hi I’ve been ttc #3 since I was 39 I’m now 43!!! We are now going to try IVF so hoping that works!

Wow that's a long time, did you concieve your other 2 children naturally? Xx

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theonewithflowers · 15/05/2025 14:03

BabyBorn · 15/05/2025 13:34

@Fluffy38i can imagine you have anxieties too. Hopefully it will all come back normal and it happens for you soon!
So you are 3 days ahead of me then! 😜 yes, my husband says I love it when you are ovulating 😂😂😂 then he is guaranteed to get some action! Ha ha.
@theonewithflowers welcome! Wow, you are brave going ahead with IVF. How old are your other two children?

8 and 5! I needed IVF for ds and then I had lots of treatment and frozen transfers for #2 but none worked so I gave up and miraculously got pregnant with dd. I think I was hoping that would happen again but it hasn’t so we’ve decided to try just one cycle 🤞

BabyBorn · 15/05/2025 13:34

@Fluffy38i can imagine you have anxieties too. Hopefully it will all come back normal and it happens for you soon!
So you are 3 days ahead of me then! 😜 yes, my husband says I love it when you are ovulating 😂😂😂 then he is guaranteed to get some action! Ha ha.
@theonewithflowers welcome! Wow, you are brave going ahead with IVF. How old are your other two children?

theonewithflowers · 15/05/2025 11:31

Hi I’ve been ttc #3 since I was 39 I’m now 43!!! We are now going to try IVF so hoping that works!

Original poster
Fluffy38 · 15/05/2025 11:27

BabyBorn · 15/05/2025 08:16

That’s exciting! Bet you can’t wait for your appointment. My cycle has been really heavy so far. What CD are you now? Xx

I'm actually quite nervous to be honest, I'm dreading hearing that it's to late or there's some other issue but I guess time will tell. I'm on CD 4 today, peak fertile time is in 6 days or so my app says but I'm gonna dtd everyother day (hopefully) from tomorrow and make sure we also get a session in the day after Ov day as we somehow seem to stop on the day of Ov lol xx

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BabyBorn · 15/05/2025 08:16

That’s exciting! Bet you can’t wait for your appointment. My cycle has been really heavy so far. What CD are you now? Xx

Original poster
Fluffy38 · 14/05/2025 21:50

BabyBorn · 14/05/2025 18:39

Hey love! I held off the testing and I came on this morning, bang on schedule!! I’ve realised I must have had a dip in progesterone because for the last two months I have only been breastfeeding my toddler once so it’s altered my hormones! So I have gone from a 31 day cycle to a 27 day cycle which is amazing because that’s around what was normal for me before I had her! Fingers crossed this might mean I will fall pregnant soon and it will stick!! How are things with you? Xx

That does sound positive that your cycles are now back to the normal length!! Surely it will be easier to time everything just right. I'm feeling OK, my flow only last 2.5 days so I'm good to go again, we have our appointment this Friday so fingers crossed we get some answers and some guidance, hubby has said he's gonna put in 110% this month to make up for not doing it last month lol, he got a promotion at work too so he's a happy bunny at the mo 😊 happy hubby happy swimmers hopefully hehe xx

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BabyBorn · 14/05/2025 18:39

Hey love! I held off the testing and I came on this morning, bang on schedule!! I’ve realised I must have had a dip in progesterone because for the last two months I have only been breastfeeding my toddler once so it’s altered my hormones! So I have gone from a 31 day cycle to a 27 day cycle which is amazing because that’s around what was normal for me before I had her! Fingers crossed this might mean I will fall pregnant soon and it will stick!! How are things with you? Xx

Original poster
Fluffy38 · 14/05/2025 17:56

@BabyBorn how are things going did you hold out to test? Xx

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Original poster
Fluffy38 · 09/05/2025 10:32

BabyBorn · 09/05/2025 10:10

It’s such a long time to go through the stress every month isn’t it! It’s horrible having to deal with the miscarriages on top of it all. I was lucky enough to not have any early losses when I was younger, apart from an ectopic rupture. It actually came as a shock when it happened twice last year. I’ve also been super worried and scared when I first find out I’m expecting and every scan is totally nerve wracking but just didn’t realise it would happen twice in less than 6 months. I’ve stopped taking most of my vitamins now apart from my folic acid and omega 3. Trying to get all I need from my diet but struggle some weeks when I feel deflated and like it’s not going to happen. Moaning aside, I do feel super lucky to have my 3 girls xx

100% agree I too feel lucky I have my 3 kiddos and I wouldn't chance it for the world but I have this overwhelming feeling that I feel incomplete if that makes sense. Hubby's left for the weekend now too so I'm feeling sorry for myself lol. Still have alot of CM and just now it had a streak of blood in it but nothing more. I'm 12dpo today so I'd say it's probably to late to be inplantation, AF will probably show up tomorrow (a day early) I have a feeling I'm going into perimenopause which would just be my luck lol xx

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BabyBorn · 09/05/2025 10:10

It’s such a long time to go through the stress every month isn’t it! It’s horrible having to deal with the miscarriages on top of it all. I was lucky enough to not have any early losses when I was younger, apart from an ectopic rupture. It actually came as a shock when it happened twice last year. I’ve also been super worried and scared when I first find out I’m expecting and every scan is totally nerve wracking but just didn’t realise it would happen twice in less than 6 months. I’ve stopped taking most of my vitamins now apart from my folic acid and omega 3. Trying to get all I need from my diet but struggle some weeks when I feel deflated and like it’s not going to happen. Moaning aside, I do feel super lucky to have my 3 girls xx