Page 2 | TTC Cycle 8 with 1% sperm morphology

DreamingSwan · 2025-01-17T10:22:23+00:00

I’m a longtime lurker here and have just signed up because there’s no one I can talk to about this in real life who understands or is going through the same thing. I’m looking for some kind words, success stories, or just general solidarity! I am 32, will be 33 in less than 5 months. I had just turned 32 when we started trying. My DH is 29, turning 30 in 5 months. We’re now on our 8th cycle of TTC for baby #1. I’m massively Type A so we’ve never had a “relax and see what happens” phase. I’ve been using OPKs from the very start, sticking them in a book and marking when we DTD. We use conception-friendly lube. My cycles are very regular, 26-28 days on average, but my bleeds are on the heavy side. I was on the pill when I was at uni well over a decade ago, but came off it because it made me depressed—I think I was never on it for more than a year or two. I am slim, non smoker, barely drink, eat healthily. Not a hint of a BFP yet, no chemicals, nothing. I’ve been worried something is wrong for a while now so I booked DH in for a SA. The results came back showing a very high sperm count, slightly above average motility, but only 1% morphology. The report said this is classed as teratazoospermia and it said his sperm might find it hard to find and penetrate my egg. It was a horrible shock to read the report. DH doesn’t like alcohol—he has approx 3 ciders a year and that’s it. He’s never smoked or done drugs. He eats healthily and is very slim (always has been). He is the epitome of health. He cycles to work, but given his count is so high I’m not convinced it’s the cycling that is causing his morphology issues. The evidence seems mixed about whether low morphology is problematic when other sperm markers are good. Anecdotally, it looks like lots of couples get pregnant anyway, but lots don’t and need IVF with ICSI. We can’t find any evidence on whether there’s a reason it seems to affect some couples’ outcomes and not others. The GP has told DH not to worry and that it may just take us longer. Other people in the same situation have been told they’ll need IVF. I’m terrified of IVF because of the expense and how low the success rates are. I’m so anxious I don’t know what to do with myself. I hate the uncertainty. I’m convinced something is wrong with me too. I’ve been having pain on deep penetration for the last 2 years or so, having never had problems with deep penetration before. I also get random twinges in my pelvic region and I’ve been told I’ve got a tilted (retroverted) uterus. In 2023 they investigated these symptoms and found a polyp in my womb and having it removed was so excruciatingly painful I nearly fainted. (It was meant to be mildly uncomfortable.) I’m worried I have undiagnosed endo or something (albeit with less severe symptoms than the typical endo case). I also never get EWCM. Could it be that the SA is a red herring, and the problem is actually with me? Does anyone have any advice? I’m so tearful all the time because my maternal instinct is so strong and not being able to get pregnant is breaking my heart. It’s a cliché, but it really is true that all my friends and family members who have babies got pregnant within the first or second cycle of trying. I feel so jealous. Seeing babies everywhere is even starting to bother my very stoical and calm DH. Sorry for such a long post, I’m just going out of my mind with worry and I don’t know what else to do but post here and hope someone can offer some consolation.

Original poster

DreamingSwan · 28/06/2025 16:27

Cupcakesanddreams · 27/06/2025 18:34

I just found your thread whilst researching, and I’m shocked at how much I could’ve written myself!!

we have now been TTC 2 years 😓our only known issues from our GP testing is my husbands 2% morphology all other sperm areas seemed to be normal and my dr didn’t seem concerned about the morphology. My husband’s Gp was unfortunately not helpful at all, basically told him to stop drinking and smoking which he doesn’t do anyway (occasionally drinks but maybe 1-2 times a month only) my husbands only flaw is that he is overweight but he exercises/gyms a lot and assures me he has a lot of “muscle”. I have always had a healthy weight and no known issues.

We have been referred via NHS to Gynae but our appointment isn’t until the very end of October, it’s so hard trying to stay sane until then when it feels like all our friends are conceiving without issues. We are on the fence about whether we should do a private hycosy to check my tubes, or just starting private IVF but would have to be abroad due to the costs of private in the uk. It’s hard talking to friends about it, they think I’m crazy wanting to put myself through ivf when we are “young and healthy”. I am 31 soon to be 32 and my husband 35 but I am quickly loosing hope that we will conceive naturally, I never expected infertility would affect us this way and it’s absolutely soul destroying. We have recently switched from Proceive to impryl to try so fingers crossed.

How was your hycosy?

praying we all get out BFP soon🙏🏻

Hi Cupcakes, I’m so sorry to hear how hard this journey has been for you.

We are now onto Cycle 14 as my period started this morning. I’m devastated. I really hoped we would conceive after the HyCoSy. I just don’t understand why nothing is happening. DH and I have been discussing IVF and whether or not it’s a terrible idea because the stakes are so high—if it didn’t work (most likely outcome) I’m worried I would be dangerously depressed. I just don’t think I could take the risk, but I’m so desperately sad that it may be the only way for us. I just don’t know.

HyCoSy was much better than I was expecting in terms of pain levels. Tubes are open. As I knew they would be… I fear we are destined to always be unexplained and never know why we can’t conceive. In many ways I wish something was wrong so we could fix it.

It cost us about £700 which I know is a lot. I think we did the right thing though. Our NHS referral hasn’t come through yet which is very frustrating.

Is anyone supporting you with TTC? I have just started counselling. I’m sceptical because I think the only fix is a baby but we shall see.

OP posts:

Cupcakesanddreams · 27/06/2025 18:34

I just found your thread whilst researching, and I’m shocked at how much I could’ve written myself!!

we have now been TTC 2 years 😓our only known issues from our GP testing is my husbands 2% morphology all other sperm areas seemed to be normal and my dr didn’t seem concerned about the morphology. My husband’s Gp was unfortunately not helpful at all, basically told him to stop drinking and smoking which he doesn’t do anyway (occasionally drinks but maybe 1-2 times a month only) my husbands only flaw is that he is overweight but he exercises/gyms a lot and assures me he has a lot of “muscle”. I have always had a healthy weight and no known issues.

We have been referred via NHS to Gynae but our appointment isn’t until the very end of October, it’s so hard trying to stay sane until then when it feels like all our friends are conceiving without issues. We are on the fence about whether we should do a private hycosy to check my tubes, or just starting private IVF but would have to be abroad due to the costs of private in the uk. It’s hard talking to friends about it, they think I’m crazy wanting to put myself through ivf when we are “young and healthy”. I am 31 soon to be 32 and my husband 35 but I am quickly loosing hope that we will conceive naturally, I never expected infertility would affect us this way and it’s absolutely soul destroying. We have recently switched from Proceive to impryl to try so fingers crossed.

How was your hycosy?

praying we all get out BFP soon🙏🏻

Original poster

DreamingSwan · 10/06/2025 07:21

Springbaby2023 · 07/06/2025 21:07

This just popped up on my feed and it’s been a while since I’ve been on the conception threads but just in case anyone needs a positive story, my DH had 1% morphology and we managed to conceive two children naturally. It did take time, just over a year for each but we got there. I used a fertilily on the successful cycle for my second, no idea if that’s what made the difference but worth a go. Good luck ladies.

That gives me hope—thank you. Fingers crossed this will be our story too!

OP posts:

Springbaby2023 · 07/06/2025 21:07

This just popped up on my feed and it’s been a while since I’ve been on the conception threads but just in case anyone needs a positive story, my DH had 1% morphology and we managed to conceive two children naturally. It did take time, just over a year for each but we got there. I used a fertilily on the successful cycle for my second, no idea if that’s what made the difference but worth a go. Good luck ladies.

Thisisouryear2025 · 07/06/2025 08:19

@DreamingSwan Take it easy lovely. I agree, after everything I’ve read about sperm, and it’s a lot as an ex of mine had awful sperm, is that morphology isn’t the be all and end all, and also if he’s got a really really high count, it kinda cancels it out! I think if it’s improved from 1% to 3% anyway then that’s really good. I agree with the sugar, I enjoy chocolate too much lol so have said when I get back from holiday I’m going to cut out sugar and drink again to a very low level! No harm in eating less rubbish! Has the GP done all your initial bloods? I’ve also been referred to a specialist, but the GP did all my bloods first to see if she could find anything. What is your AMH? Mine is low too, it was done three weeks ago and came back at 5.9, she said it could be better but not tragic. Hopefully your Hycosy comes back fine. I would say that it’s likely any endo or adenomyosis is likely contributing to the absent BFP and not the sperm. I’m not a doctor but even with bad sperm people still get pregnant and your DP doesn’t have bad sperm. Just remember that 92% of people conceive within two years… I hold on to this hope even only after 6 months TTC I still remind myself that it may be a long road but it will happen x

Original poster

DreamingSwan · 07/06/2025 07:57

@Babyybabyyy DH has been told he has an exceptionally high count, way above average. The morphology is the only thing that’s suboptimal and the consultants have told us not to worry because the count is so high. It’s very difficult for him to put on weight so we might struggle to change anything lifestyle wise. Everything else in his lifestyle is perfect.
I’m not dieting, I’m just cutting out unhealthy foods that have been making me feel even worse and making me gain stomach fat, like too much sugar. I know my energy levels and headaches have been worse since my diet has been bad. I’m not trying to become too skinny or under-eat. I’ve read high sugar intake is bad for hormone health anyway! I take nutrition very seriously and wouldn’t try and compromise on it when TTC.

@Thisisouryear2025 GP has referred me but it’s been a while since the referral was sent off and I still don’t have an appointment. I have to call up the hospital in July if I still haven’t had a letter. I’m still having private investigations in the meantime as I don’t want to waste a single month because my AMH isn’t great. Hoping the HyCoSy and scan on Monday will maybe give me some more answers beyond just tube health. The consultant I saw in April thinks I might have adenomyosis. But who knows?

OP posts:

Thisisouryear2025 · 07/06/2025 07:08

@DreamingSwan It’s really hard to pin point exactly why you aren’t getting pregnant without the full picture with you. Did you get all your bloods done and had a scan to check for endo? Morphology isn’t the worst parameter to be off, whilst it may take you a bit longer it’s unlikely to be the only reason. I remember your original post said that he cycles a lot, cyclists are known to have issues with sperm, I’d probably say he should cut that out. And take some impyrl supplements as they are great and really help. Lifting more may help to get him to bulk out and help the body produce more testosterone maybe? I’d probably say get you checked out first because it could be something simple with you.
Also agree don’t diet whilst TTC. I am heavier than I’d like and I just keep telling myself I can be sensible and cut down but I won’t stop putting nourishing foods into my body as my future baby will need that. If it’s been 13 months now I’m assuming your tests are well underway with the GP?

Babyybabyyy · 07/06/2025 06:52

DreamingSwan · 06/06/2025 21:22

My BMI is normal. I’m slim but tbh I’ve put on a bit of weight with the stress of ttc so I am trying to lose a bit. DH is very skinny but eats like a horse. He eats so much it’s a big joke within the family. But he can’t seem to put on weight. Maybe he should lift more?

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It’s very likely that his poor sperm quality due to being underweight is the reason you haven’t had a baby. He needs to see a dietician to see how he can gain weight. Being underweight:

Reduced Sperm Quality
Hormonal imbalance
Nutritional Deficiencies
Impact on Semen Parameters

Also, maybe don’t try to diet whilst you’re also ttc.

mrsplumfairy · 06/06/2025 22:42

Thank you - I’m going to take the notebook approach next cycle! Might be better as once you get a static smiley on cleablue, you can’t retest for 48 hours and I currently have no idea what’s going on!
what brand of IC OPK tests are recommended?

will look into evening primrose oil - it will give me something new to google if nothing else 😂 I keep reading about COQ10 but haven’t tried that one yet!

mrsplumfairy · 06/06/2025 22:42

DreamingSwan · 06/06/2025 22:34

I’m sorry this is so hard for you—it’s really awful when you’re trying so hard and nothing is happening. I’ve not tried BBT tbh because I’m worried about it causing me even more stress. I use cheap ovulation sticks and sellotape them into a notepad to keep track, rather than recording on an app (although I have a very basic app just to keep a record of my periods).
You may be getting more EWCM than you think, but it could be hanging around your cervix and not making its way out of your body. I’ve heard evening primrose oil supplements can help, might be worth a look?

Show quote history

Thank you - I’m going to take the notebook approach next cycle! Might be better as once you get a static smiley on cleablue, you can’t retest for 48 hours and I currently have no idea what’s going on!
what brand of IC OPK tests are recommended?

will look into evening primrose oil - it will give me something new to google if nothing else 😂 I keep reading about COQ10 but haven’t tried that one yet!

Original poster

DreamingSwan · 06/06/2025 22:35

Thisisouryear2025 · 06/06/2025 19:55

Hey @DreamingSwan lovely to hear from you!! How are you feeling mentally? I agree this journey is so hard! Like so hard and some days I really struggle with my mental health too so I hear you. I have a life coach anyway and I catch up with her monthly about this to try to help my mind. Defo get help it’s worth it! Amazing your partners morphology has got better, that’s so good, did he make any changes? 4% is the minimum they say required so he is only just under that! If his count is high surely that’s not the sole reason. Yes it may take a little longer but they normally don’t count morphology as totally significant as just because the sperm is odd shaped doesn’t mean the genetic material isn’t good. I’m listening to a podcast on fertility right now and it mentioned this. Have you had any more tests as I know you mentioned that you were concerned about painful sex and possibly having endo? I know it’s hard but it’s kinda what’s helping me a bit bit statistically 92% of people without fertility issues or with minor fertility issues do conceive within 2 years so just keep going and it is very likely to happen. Any reason for the Hycosy? Good luck and keep us posted!! I am ok thanks, all our tests came back good. The doctor mentioned my egg reserve being low but not horrific but other than that she said all our tests came back good and she can’t find a reason why we aren’t pregnant yet. She just said it’s a numbers game and to keep trying. She’s also referred us to a fertility specialist but I know this takes time so I kinda just wanted it in our back pocket as we’ve only been trying 6 months so we will defo give it about 18 months before we want to go for IVF I think. We changed the holiday to Cyprus after the Crete earthquake, it’s our last full day tomorrow and it’s been so nice! Keep strong 🩷

So glad you’ve had such a nice holiday! The HyCoSy is to check my tubes are open. I figured I didn’t want months more of trying pointlessly if they are blocked. Really hope they are open though!

OP posts:

Original poster

DreamingSwan · 06/06/2025 22:34

mrsplumfairy · 06/06/2025 22:20

Hi ladies I hope I’m OK to join - also TTC for 6 months and I feel every bit of what you’ve been saying - the hope grieve cycle is killing me and I just know we are in this for the long haul.

I am about to order the book that’s been recommended. I’m hoping that will help with supplement advice as I’ve no idea what I should be taking or what to do next to improve things. I have no noticeable EWCM - does anything help to improve this?

I’m CD22 but who knows how many DPO! I’m using clearblue advanced ovulation kits - I had a static smiley on CD10 then another on CD19. Any ideas??

what apps are we all using to track? I’ve not tried BBT yet (and to be honest I don’t know where to start!) but we are DTD every day/every other day for the whole cycle so I should be covered regardless of when ovulation lands but it’s just not happening.

im 37 and the clock ticking is getting louder and I could just cry today.

I’m sorry this is so hard for you—it’s really awful when you’re trying so hard and nothing is happening. I’ve not tried BBT tbh because I’m worried about it causing me even more stress. I use cheap ovulation sticks and sellotape them into a notepad to keep track, rather than recording on an app (although I have a very basic app just to keep a record of my periods).
You may be getting more EWCM than you think, but it could be hanging around your cervix and not making its way out of your body. I’ve heard evening primrose oil supplements can help, might be worth a look?

OP posts:

mrsplumfairy · 06/06/2025 22:20

Hi ladies I hope I’m OK to join - also TTC for 6 months and I feel every bit of what you’ve been saying - the hope grieve cycle is killing me and I just know we are in this for the long haul.

I am about to order the book that’s been recommended. I’m hoping that will help with supplement advice as I’ve no idea what I should be taking or what to do next to improve things. I have no noticeable EWCM - does anything help to improve this?

I’m CD22 but who knows how many DPO! I’m using clearblue advanced ovulation kits - I had a static smiley on CD10 then another on CD19. Any ideas??

what apps are we all using to track? I’ve not tried BBT yet (and to be honest I don’t know where to start!) but we are DTD every day/every other day for the whole cycle so I should be covered regardless of when ovulation lands but it’s just not happening.

im 37 and the clock ticking is getting louder and I could just cry today.

Original poster

DreamingSwan · 06/06/2025 21:22

Babyybabyyy · 06/06/2025 19:09

Low bmi (underweight) also affects fertility - male (poor sperm quality) and female. It can prevent ovulation (lack of ewcm and heavy bleeding). Speaking from experience.

My BMI is normal. I’m slim but tbh I’ve put on a bit of weight with the stress of ttc so I am trying to lose a bit. DH is very skinny but eats like a horse. He eats so much it’s a big joke within the family. But he can’t seem to put on weight. Maybe he should lift more?

OP posts:

Thisisouryear2025 · 06/06/2025 19:55

Hey @DreamingSwan lovely to hear from you!! How are you feeling mentally? I agree this journey is so hard! Like so hard and some days I really struggle with my mental health too so I hear you. I have a life coach anyway and I catch up with her monthly about this to try to help my mind. Defo get help it’s worth it! Amazing your partners morphology has got better, that’s so good, did he make any changes? 4% is the minimum they say required so he is only just under that! If his count is high surely that’s not the sole reason. Yes it may take a little longer but they normally don’t count morphology as totally significant as just because the sperm is odd shaped doesn’t mean the genetic material isn’t good. I’m listening to a podcast on fertility right now and it mentioned this. Have you had any more tests as I know you mentioned that you were concerned about painful sex and possibly having endo? I know it’s hard but it’s kinda what’s helping me a bit bit statistically 92% of people without fertility issues or with minor fertility issues do conceive within 2 years so just keep going and it is very likely to happen. Any reason for the Hycosy? Good luck and keep us posted!! I am ok thanks, all our tests came back good. The doctor mentioned my egg reserve being low but not horrific but other than that she said all our tests came back good and she can’t find a reason why we aren’t pregnant yet. She just said it’s a numbers game and to keep trying. She’s also referred us to a fertility specialist but I know this takes time so I kinda just wanted it in our back pocket as we’ve only been trying 6 months so we will defo give it about 18 months before we want to go for IVF I think. We changed the holiday to Cyprus after the Crete earthquake, it’s our last full day tomorrow and it’s been so nice! Keep strong 🩷

Babyybabyyy · 06/06/2025 19:09

Low bmi (underweight) also affects fertility - male (poor sperm quality) and female. It can prevent ovulation (lack of ewcm and heavy bleeding). Speaking from experience.

Original poster

DreamingSwan · 06/06/2025 19:02

Sorry for the slow reply ladies!
To answer your questions about DH: so he had an NHS test (the previous one was private) which involved a consultation. On this test, his morphology was showing at 3% (1% last time) but impossible to know if anything we’ve done changed it, or if it could be a coincidence as you can get different readings on different days without any change! Either way, it’s still not great. But because his count is so high, we’ve now had three medical professionals tell us the morphology is irrelevant. Surely they can’t all be wrong? But I’m still not pregnant, so I’m very confused…
Just coming towards the end of my period. We’re now on cycle 13 which is just under the calendar year for me now. Finding it very hard.
Other updates: Still not heard from NHS fertility clinic about when I might get an appointment. I’m having a private HyCoSy on Monday and I’m dreading it because I’ve had a saline insertion procedure before and the pain absolutely floored me. I’ve also started making enquiries to a therapist to finally get some support for my mental health.
How are you ladies doing? I hope you’re having a lovely time in Crete @Thisisouryear2025, I went a few years ago and had an amazing time. Any updates @HopeB?

OP posts:

Thisisouryear2025 · 12/05/2025 17:52

@HopeB ah thank you appreciate that so much! How long is it you have been trying for? Yes I with you on the holiday front, I just booked us a week in Crete for the 1st June so we can just chill and enjoy normal time together. Yeah I very much have to plan and research and do everything possible to try to prevent anxiety but I reckon I make it worse for myself lol. Yeah it does help having others in the same boat understanding, whilst you wouldn’t actually wish it on anyone. Thank you xx

HopeB · 12/05/2025 17:21

Thisisouryear2025 · 12/05/2025 16:30

Hi @DreamingSwan and @HopeB can I join please? I haven’t been trying as long as you girls so sorry if me messaging is annoying to you both, however I just wanted to say I am in the same both with the worrying and struggling camp. I am 8dpo cycle 5, waiting on progesterone testing tomorrow, partners SA should be with us by the 23rd & my pre ovulation tests are being done on the 22nd. I am racked with anxiety and stress, this whole process is so unenjoyable and just not nice. Everyone around me seems to either have a baby or be pregnant after a cycle or two of trying and it’s killing me, but to mention the weekly pregnancy announcements! I know I have a low AMH, it was 7.5 two years ago, I am 36 & I am so worried about needing IVF and my egg reserve being too low to respond.
just wanted to talk to other girls who are feeling low like me so I don’t feel so alone. I did try with an ex partner a few years ago and it turned out he had less than 2m sperm per ml that’s why we didn’t conceive. I had a chemical pregnancy last August too when we weren’t trying. Actively trying from January and nothing at all. I just don’t get it. I am so sad 😢

Hi @Thisisouryear2025 & @DreamingSwan, sorry it took me so long to reply. We booked an impromptu holiday, and it’s actually taken our minds off it for a little bit ☺️

like Dreaming says, please don’t feel bad - however long you’ve been trying, without success is painful. Regardless.

I’m a lot like you (type A), or
maybe I’m more of a “plan and organise as much as possible in an effort to minimise anxiety” type of person lol
which, when you are doing absolutely EVERYTHING in your power, and still no BFP. Man, it hurts.

but thankfully we aren’t the only ones, and this has been really helpful for me.

well done on getting you referral Dreaming! That’s brilliant. We’re definitely going to have to start down that road soon as niether of us are getting younger 😩 sigh!

I hope things go well with you DH’s tests. Fingers crossed he doesn’t have to wait long! Xx

Thisisouryear2025 · 12/05/2025 16:57

Thank you so much @DreamingSwan !! I know you will know, but you know that desperate feeling of just helplessness and uncertainty and sadness and confusion and bitterness, yeah that right now. I agree, it kinda doesn’t matter how long you’ve been trying because the process just isn’t nice actually and every month of BFNs is excruciating even if it’s within 6 months. I agree, after cycle 4 being unsuccessful I also started to worry, that’s why I managed to get tests booked in quick with the GP who was actually great thankfully. It’s madness isn’t it, 12 cycles down and medically infertile, what a shit brand to have. It makes me so sad and angry that others have sex once and get pregnant and we just haven’t got it that easy. That’s brilliant you’ve been referred, I hope we will be referred too after our tests come back, even if they are all ok I’d still like her to refer us so that the wait for IVF is happening whilst we carry on trying. I have read that book actually it was brilliant, I’ve also read the impatient woman’s guide to getting pregnant and that was fab. As I am most certainly a type A person who cannot deal with not achieving this one thing I am trying so hard for! Has your OH had a repeat SA to see if his morphology has improved? X

Original poster

DreamingSwan · 12/05/2025 16:50

Thisisouryear2025 · 12/05/2025 16:30

Hi @DreamingSwan and @HopeB can I join please? I haven’t been trying as long as you girls so sorry if me messaging is annoying to you both, however I just wanted to say I am in the same both with the worrying and struggling camp. I am 8dpo cycle 5, waiting on progesterone testing tomorrow, partners SA should be with us by the 23rd & my pre ovulation tests are being done on the 22nd. I am racked with anxiety and stress, this whole process is so unenjoyable and just not nice. Everyone around me seems to either have a baby or be pregnant after a cycle or two of trying and it’s killing me, but to mention the weekly pregnancy announcements! I know I have a low AMH, it was 7.5 two years ago, I am 36 & I am so worried about needing IVF and my egg reserve being too low to respond.
just wanted to talk to other girls who are feeling low like me so I don’t feel so alone. I did try with an ex partner a few years ago and it turned out he had less than 2m sperm per ml that’s why we didn’t conceive. I had a chemical pregnancy last August too when we weren’t trying. Actively trying from January and nothing at all. I just don’t get it. I am so sad 😢

Hello! Please don’t feel like it’s annoying that you’ve been trying less time… I always find it frustrating when people tell me “oh 10 months isn’t that long”. Everyone who experiences infertility had a 6 month milestone, and then a one year milestone… I definitely started worrying from about 4 cycles in. It’s normal to worry when the average woman is pregnant within 3 cycles!
It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. Tbh as we approach the year mark, I do sometimes think it might get a bit easier to tell people because once you hit a year, you’re medically “infertile” and people will sympathise! Whereas when I was at the six month mark, even though I was desperately worried I didn’t feel I could tell people without them saying “oh don’t worry six months is nothing”.
My GP referred me to the fertility clinic on Friday so at least I’m taking steps. I think controlling what you can control helps to make the process feel less terrifying.
I’ve also been reading the BFN book, which accompanies the podcast, which I’ve been reading on my Kindle. It’s so good and I really recommend it as it’s written by two women who have done IVF and really get the horrible jealousy and bitterness of the whole thing. 🥰

OP posts:

Thisisouryear2025 · 12/05/2025 16:30

Hi @DreamingSwan and @HopeB can I join please? I haven’t been trying as long as you girls so sorry if me messaging is annoying to you both, however I just wanted to say I am in the same both with the worrying and struggling camp. I am 8dpo cycle 5, waiting on progesterone testing tomorrow, partners SA should be with us by the 23rd & my pre ovulation tests are being done on the 22nd. I am racked with anxiety and stress, this whole process is so unenjoyable and just not nice. Everyone around me seems to either have a baby or be pregnant after a cycle or two of trying and it’s killing me, but to mention the weekly pregnancy announcements! I know I have a low AMH, it was 7.5 two years ago, I am 36 & I am so worried about needing IVF and my egg reserve being too low to respond.
just wanted to talk to other girls who are feeling low like me so I don’t feel so alone. I did try with an ex partner a few years ago and it turned out he had less than 2m sperm per ml that’s why we didn’t conceive. I had a chemical pregnancy last August too when we weren’t trying. Actively trying from January and nothing at all. I just don’t get it. I am so sad 😢

HopeB · 06/05/2025 08:42

DreamingSwan · 05/05/2025 22:07

Oh Hope, I’m so sorry! It absolutely sucks. The hope-grief-hope cycle is the worst thing about this process. I hope the break gives you a little peace while you prepare to try again.

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Hi @DreamingSwan , I’m so sorry you’re struggling. I know the mixed emotions following the tests, but overall, it seems really positive. I really hope that your DH’s morphology has increased!! I’ve got everything crossed for you guys!

we haven’t booked another test for my DH yet. Not sure why I think he is in a bit of denial. Maybe I was too 🙈

honestly, the hope-grief-hope cycle is terrible 😢 I hope the break makes a difference, but my normally optimistic mentality is slipping away with every BFN. Sigh.

thanks for checking in. I hope it’s helped you feel just a little better. Please do reach out whenever you like 💕 xx

Original poster

DreamingSwan · 05/05/2025 22:07

HopeB · 05/05/2025 21:59

Hi @DreamingSwan , I’m still in the same situation, really. Last month I thought I had implantation bleeding, but it wasn’t. It was really hard to get a BFN. So this month we’re having a break (to recover emotionally, more than anything).
then back to it next cycle.

how are you? How have things been?

CONGRATULATIONS @Stillwinston im so happy for you!! How amazing it worked first time ✨❤️ xx

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Oh Hope, I’m so sorry! It absolutely sucks. The hope-grief-hope cycle is the worst thing about this process. I hope the break gives you a little peace while you prepare to try again.

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Original poster

DreamingSwan · 05/05/2025 22:04

Stillwinston · 05/05/2025 21:54

Hey @DreamingSwan nice to hear from you 😊 I'm doing well thanks, our first egg transfer miraculously worked so I'm now 11 weeks pregnant which I can't quite believe tbh!

How are you doing? Fingers crossed you've been able to make some positive steps forward, have you done any of your tests yet? X

Oh wow, that’s amazing! I hope you have a healthy rest of the pregnancy and that all continues to go well. How did you find the process in the end?

I’m struggling (currently onto another AF, and cycle 12 of TTC) so it’s good to hear some good news to give me some hope.

Still not a a hint of a BFP. In terms of tests… My ultrasound showed no immediate red flags but the consultant said my lining was a bit thicker than optimal so there may be adenomyosis, but ovaries look OK. My AMH test wasn’t amazing (10.2 which is in the normal range but lower for my age, so I’m worried within a few years it will become problematic if it drops steeply and I need IVF). So overall it wasn’t terrible but I left feeling quite anxious, even though the consultant said I should be happy all is OK. She now recommends an HSG to check fallopian tubes, and a more detailed scan. Meanwhile DH has his consultation with the NHS this Thursday so we will see what his repeat analysis shows and what the consultant advises.

Got my 33th birthday coming up in a few weeks’ time and freaking the hell out… I just wish I could pause time and not get any older. I’m not ready!

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