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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

We messed up.

37 replies

Thisismyname20 · 17/01/2025 03:39

My fiancé and I don't want any more children, we have 3. The youngest is 2.5 and our home is full our car is full and our budget is stretched to its limit. Tonight just as I was turning over to go to sleep he tried it. I initially wasn't feeling it and said I was too tired, but I changed my mind and we did. Except the condom split. I'm not on any contraception because I have blood pressure issues.

Now I'm awake 3:33 in the morning stressed because our budget is already at breaking point this week we could really do without having to go and get the morning after pill but our third child was not planned and we can't risk waiting to see, I told him I'd check my period app to see the likelihood and it says I'm ovulating and have a high chance.

Not only the cost, but I feel like it's embarrassing going to get it too, especially at my big age. I just wish I'd gone to bloody sleep 🫠 guess I'm just looking for somewhere to write down my thoughts seen as I can't sleep

OP posts:
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OodlesPoodle · 17/01/2025 17:06

Thisismyname20 · 17/01/2025 05:13

I agree, we sort of just accepted this answer without digging further for ourselves which is rather silly, once this is all sorted I'll send him down to ask himself

Show quote history

I think your friend said they don't recommend it under 30 because of this in the official guidance:

You can have a vasectomy at any age.
People under 30 are more likely to regret a vasectomy.
Your doctor will talk with you about your situation and can answer any questions you have.

https://www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-living/contraception/vasectomy/
https://www.bpas.org/more-services-information/contraception/vasectomy/

So it's not that he can't, just that they probably recommend people to wait till 30 to avoid regret. But since he already has children it shouldn't apply.

Don't feel silly or bad OP, not your fault the condom broke. And the pharmacists are normally discrete giving you the morning after pill.

DecayingRelic · 17/01/2025 12:59

why dont you get sterilised if you are so sure? I had 3 kids and was sterilised when I was 25, never regretted it for a second

remaininghopeful23 · 17/01/2025 12:52

OP the morning after pill won't work if you've already started ovulating or already have ovulated!!
A copper coil is the best emergency contraception, suitable for up to 5 days after sex. Not sure where you live but can you get free contraception where you live?

Your partner needs to get a vasectomy ASAP if you're both certain about no more kids. Don't listen to so and so's Mum who's a GP receptionist, get your partner to actually speak to his GP! I have a friend who had a vasectomy recently, not yet 30, and no children.

WonderingWanda · 17/01/2025 06:36

Thisismyname20 · 17/01/2025 04:23

I have to do it no doubt about it, but my local pharmacy is in the middle of town and always busy, I'm gonna have to put my big girl pants on and go in there with confidence. I did this once when I was 18 but it felt more socially acceptable then to make a mistake, not now in my 30's that's what I find embarrassing

Go to the counter and ask to speak to the pharmacist in private. They normally have a little side room where they do injections. If they ask what it's about say it's about medication but you'd prefer not to say in front of everyone.

IButtleSir · 17/01/2025 06:33

I'm so sorry this has happened, how stressful. Not sure why anyone thinks you've been foolish when you used a method of birth control which is 98% effective!

Obviously get the MAP, but if it fails, you have the option of a very early abortion. And DEFINITELY send your fiancée for a vasectomy!

orangegato · 17/01/2025 06:31

Non hormonal coil?? Works fine for me.

unmemorableusername · 17/01/2025 06:13

Thisismyname20 · 17/01/2025 05:48

I've just been having a look, I may need to go to an actual clinic i had a look at ordering online but I weigh more than 13 stone and it says online it may not work if you weigh more than that.

They give you 2 rather than one pill if you are this weight.

cherrybl0ssom5 · 17/01/2025 06:08

hey OP, when you go to get the MAP i’d see if they have EllaOne specifically, supposed to be more affective + look into gettting the copper coil/iud fitted asap, it’s another form of emergency contraception + doesn’t have any hormones. good luck!

Original poster
Thisismyname20 · 17/01/2025 05:48

I've just been having a look, I may need to go to an actual clinic i had a look at ordering online but I weigh more than 13 stone and it says online it may not work if you weigh more than that.

OP posts:
Codlingmoths · 17/01/2025 05:41

Thisismyname20 · 17/01/2025 04:23

I have to do it no doubt about it, but my local pharmacy is in the middle of town and always busy, I'm gonna have to put my big girl pants on and go in there with confidence. I did this once when I was 18 but it felt more socially acceptable then to make a mistake, not now in my 30's that's what I find embarrassing

It’s not embarrassing, I got it in my mid 30s.

Nc335799544566 · 17/01/2025 05:40

I’ve known the Ovulation dates to be way off for people on the tracking apps so take it anyway as you don’t know for sure. If you’re embarrassed do as others have suggested and order it online. You can also choose the unbranded version which is a tenner opposed to £30.

Original poster
Thisismyname20 · 17/01/2025 05:39

Jk987 · 17/01/2025 05:38

A morning after pill is a hell of a lot cheaper than raising a child! And it doesn't keep you up at night!

Oh of course and I'm going to do it, It's just annoying I could have saved myself £30 and a lot of embarrassment if I'd just gone to sleep 🥲 I blame the traitors

OP posts:
Jk987 · 17/01/2025 05:38

A morning after pill is a hell of a lot cheaper than raising a child! And it doesn't keep you up at night!

Original poster
Thisismyname20 · 17/01/2025 05:13

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/01/2025 05:08

His mums friend is a doctors receptionist

Not really a HCP!

Have him make an actual appointment. Take the pills but since you're ovulating, you may need an abortion.

I agree, we sort of just accepted this answer without digging further for ourselves which is rather silly, once this is all sorted I'll send him down to ask himself

OP posts:
Alwaystired2023 · 17/01/2025 05:09

PP is right that the coil will be effective in that case, so hopefully either way there is a solution that doesn't involve another baby arriving

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/01/2025 05:08

His mums friend is a doctors receptionist

Not really a HCP!

Have him make an actual appointment. Take the pills but since you're ovulating, you may need an abortion.

Original poster
Thisismyname20 · 17/01/2025 05:06

Alwaystired2023 · 17/01/2025 05:05

Really hope there is a sexual health clinic that you can to today OP so you can get this resolved, what a horrible stress for you

Thankyou, I'll get the kids off to school and nursery in the morning and go and get it sorted, I am stressed that I way have already ovulated though

OP posts:
Alwaystired2023 · 17/01/2025 05:05

Really hope there is a sexual health clinic that you can to today OP so you can get this resolved, what a horrible stress for you

Original poster
Thisismyname20 · 17/01/2025 05:03

I don't want another baby anyway, but if I did get pregnant it would be my third c-section in 5 years, just another reason this can't happen. I've still not been back to sleep since writing this, I'm up in an hour for the school run and he's snoring the place down, typical 😂

OP posts:
Alwaystired2023 · 17/01/2025 05:00

Oh sorry yes that is true about ovulating - because the pill works by delaying ovulating or something to do with ovulating. Coil would work - can you call GP or get to a sexual health clinic in morning?

Original poster
Thisismyname20 · 17/01/2025 04:58

Butterflygirl23 · 17/01/2025 04:45

You can get next day delivery on morning after pill so order today and can come tomorrow. You get up to 3 days but if you've already ovulating there's no point taking it is there? The egg might already be there waiting

Oh god dont 😳 I wasn't sure how it worked exactly but if this is true shit!

OP posts:
Alwaystired2023 · 17/01/2025 04:57

It says on the NHS website you can get it for free from GP surgery's, sexual health clinics, pharmacy's that offer free contraception (not boots if I remember rightly) and a few other places - it's Friday tomorrow is there somewhere near you that you can get to ?

Also you don't need to justify why you don't want a 4fh child and you have done nothing wrong you didn't make the condom split it was an accident !

Alwaystired2023 · 17/01/2025 04:55

OP can you not get the morning after pill for free anymore? From a health centre? Can you call your doctors in the morning and ask it used to be free at the pharmacy

UnderSeptemberStars · 17/01/2025 04:52

I don’t think the morning after pill works if you’re already ovulating.

Noodlesnotstrudels · 17/01/2025 04:48

I'm sorry to say that if you have already ovulated then the morning after pill may not work. However you can have an iud inserted to prevent pregnancy plus act as long term contraception. Do you have a sexual health clinic near you? It might be better to get an urgent appointment there to discuss all options, rather than buying the MAP over the counter.