January 2025 ✨

Lovely to see the positives in this thread - so much hope 💝

Thanks guys 🙂 I’m gonna do a FRER tomorrow morning

Thanks for sharing about your bipolar @dev86 sounds like you're in a good place and you're an amazing mum. I have Crohn's disease so I understand to some extent not feeling like you can handle it, and the regret of not trying sooner.

This is such a nice space to vent - really appreciate you all and the support 💖

Thank you @dev86 you're very kind ❤️ We live by sea and put one of our seashells and some sea glass in with George.

Congratulations @PamelaDoov and @LuxyLocket those are both unmistakable!

Thank you ☺️ xx

Tentative congratulations @PamelaDoov and @LuxyLocket , those are great looking lines! All the best to you both 💖

This one looks more pink

@PamelaDoov is no denying that!! 💕💕

9dpo today and I don’t think there’s any denying it…. It’s super pink in real life!

sorry about the state of my dressing table, just realised it could do with a wipe over 😅

@LuxyLocket that looks line mine did yesterday 🤞🤞

@dev86 thank you so much those quotes are so beautiful and so true!

Oh god @dev86 that’s the phrase people keep telling me! If only it was that easy!! I think people try to be helpful and think that’s what you should say but if you havnt walked these shoes it’s very easy to say ‘just relax’
my MIL told me I ‘was worrying too much’
thank you for being so open and sharing your challenges it’s so healthy to be open about it. 💕

@LuxyLocket OMG that is definitely a line. And those cramps sound like they might be implantation to me!

Sending love and support, it is not an easy time. It’s true that once you’ve experienced loss, it isn’t as simple as line = baby any more. If only it could be that innocent and simple again.

But I will share something that my friend whose daughter was stillborn taught me, who learned it off her therapist:

If, as far as you know, you are pregnant, there are two things:

1. As long as there is no evidence to the contrary, ie you don’t know otherwise for certain, all is well.
2. Right now, and every second, tell that little soul just how much you love them.

Not sure if that can help or if it makes sense (she puts it much better!) but I am thinking of you.

@LuxyLocket Thank you. I feel you about the argument. That’s the sort of space I’ve felt in this week and it’s not nice.

It’s really nice to have this space though and still have those ugly feelings and be able to express them and feel relief and not judged. If only it was as simple as “relax and it’ll happen!” Etc

@dev86 my school residential was ok thank you for asking! I tried to look after myself as much as possible while there, especially with how cold it was and we had all the snow! I’ve come home tired and with a slight cold but otherwise ok!
weirdly when I was there I had quite moderately painful cramps for 2 days which I can’t remember ever having pains like that this far away from AF before.
also got sore boobs a bit more noticeable than I usually have a this time of cycle. In the nights I’ve been waking up about 5 times to wee, so I finally caved in to my plan not to test early.
there is a faint line there. I’m quite happy with that line for 8/9dpo. I’m still being guarded and telling myself that a faint line doesn’t nessecarily equal pregnancy continuing at this point as we’ve been here before with our history of mc and cp. Having said that though, I’ve never had a line as clear as that this early before so keeping realistic but tentatively hopeful it develops.

@lynzmb Thank you so much 🩷 I hate that you’re going through this as well, but I’m really glad that you’re here and that you understand.

We also put off for a long time - a big reason is I have bipolar and I wasn’t sure until fairly recently that I could be a decent mum to the one I have never mind another one as well. I didn’t want to jeopardise her wellbeing by running the risk of overloading myself and not coping. If I break, I’m no use to anyone. It’s only really since she turned 4 I could start to see that there might be a possibility I could be able to cope, and a big turning point was when my husband said that he thought we could go for it. I was shocked as I had to practically hold him down and force him to get our DD! But when he said that, it was like he could see something that I couldn’t see. And in time I have grown to trust him.

Even after that point the road to actually being ready to try was long. I tried a couple of times to come off the pill but only managed a few days as I was so terrified. I bitterly regret that now. Then we had a big holiday booked and because I get HG when pregnant we put off due to not wanting to spend the whole time with my head down the toilet. Then I had a MC at 10 weeks in Nov 24. Then here we are…. Am at CD 18 currently. We did manage to DTD on CD14 so am pinning my hopes on that but I feel chances are slim.

I’ve not used the Premom app (I have Natural Cycles) but one can drive oneself daft going down a hole of the various functions. I discovered that you can keep taking photos of your ovulation strip in the NC app and sometimes if you retake the photo enough times you can turn a negative into a positive etc.

Once again, I can’t believe that this is what my life has come to!

xx

Hi ladies hope everyone is having a nice weekend, just catching up.

@KittyFantastica George knows how loved he is. I can only imagine the range of emotions you’re feeling right now 💕✨sending you all the luck for your journey continuing.
@Lcc5261 so sorry to hear AF came, I hope you’re ok 💕onto a new cycle is the optimistic mantra to use.
@lynzmb totally hear you lovely, everything you’ve said is valid, the pressure to hit ovulation, the disheartened feeling if you think you’ve missed it. No one talks about the pressure during the fertile window, I remember we missed ovulation one cycle during to me being ill and DH having Ofstead (he is a teacher) and we had an argument and it was just awful and not how it should be. @dev86 I agree it definitely turns us into those people at times so please don’t feel alone or beat yourself up, it’s only natural and ttc is not for the faint hearted. We’re all in the same boat here. Just so nice to have eachother to offload.
@Emiily887 how are you getting on lovely? 💕💕

I can totally understand @devdev86. We've put off trying for no2 for so many reasons - the uncertainty of covid, work stuff, health reasons - but now it all feels such a waste of time. I've become a bit obsessed with it all, poas addict but not even got as far as a pregnancy test, just opks. It is indeed a head fuck, sending 💖. Where are you at just now, tww? x

@lynzmb I feel sad & frustrated at how much pressure I feel to not miss ovulation… I hate the person it’s turning me into! I can’t believe I will have ovulated so many dozens of times over the years and not even noticed it and right now it’s all I can think about and it’s taking over my life. It’s a massive head fuck!

Thanks doll. Sorry you've had it too but sometimes better to know you're not alone 💖

@lynzmb I have nothing to say that will make you feel better but I am right here with you 🩷

This bloody flu has a lot to answer for let me tell you! 😡

Feeling a bit fed up tonight. I think I've missed ovulation. I've been ill since boxing day, had no energy to dtd and OPKs have been all over the place. I went down a rabbit hole googling and saw that you can change the numbers on the PreMom app by matching the colour - I've done this and now I have no idea what's going on, but never had a peak that I can tell. Just feeling really disheartened that I've possibly missed a month when time is against us (I'm 40). Anyone want to join my pity party? 😩

@LuxyLocket how was your school trip?

How’s everyone doing? 🩷

@Emiily887 thank you for your kind words. How are you doing?

@KittyFantastica George, what a beautiful name 💙 Would you like me to place a shell or a stone for him in my memory garden I have at home? I started it when my best friends daughter Sonya was stillborn at full term in 2022 and I’ve been adding to it, most recently with a stone I brought from the beach in Orkney after my own miscarriage in November 🧡

Tentative congratulations to all those who look like they might be getting positives… I’m CD17 today and have had a good go at it this week so am hoping for the best!! I felt like it was a bit of a stab in the dark though as all of my usual temperature charting has been completely thrown up in the air this month thanks to this bloody flu. Oh well.

Not looking forward to the TWW at all… I only have 1 cheapo strip test left out of a box of 10 and am telling myself I will wait until I’ve definitely missed my period (usually CD32 or thereabouts) before testing but… who am I kidding?? I should just order some more now but will probably hold out then end up spending £50 on clear blue digitals in Boots as soon as I reach CD27… sigh…