Page 19 | TTC #1 over 35

Clara202 · 2024-12-16T18:43:15+00:00

As the title suggests, if you’re over 35 and TTC your first, I’d love to hear from you! Would be nice to hear from a few of us in the same boat 🙂

HollyGolightly4 · 14/01/2025 16:00

12 dpo, cycle day 30. Feeling absolutely petrified that my period is going to arrive and keep obsessing every time I go to the toilet. I'm not even out of the days my period could start.

KittyFantastica · 14/01/2025 13:09

16DPO over here, so 4 weeks and 2 days. Nothing to report, thankfully! Tests are looking okay. No symptoms yet; my back ache and cramps disappeared the day after my first positive test. I didn't really have any symptoms with my son until 9 weeks though, so not too worried about that.

Sorry to see you've had a BFN @Screenburn but as you say, plenty of time yet!

Screenburn · 14/01/2025 12:17

Thanks @HollyGolightly4 and @Clara202 - trying to be cautiously optimistic without being too hopeful.

How is everyone else doing? Anyone else in 2WW? @KittyFantastica how are you getting on?

Original poster

Clara202 · 13/01/2025 21:58

@Screenburn I obviously have no personal experience but everyone who has had a bfp always describes the strange taste in the mouth and fatigue. I would not be surprised if you get yours in a few days 🤞🏻

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HollyGolightly4 · 13/01/2025 21:25

Thanks @Screenburn . Definitely sounds like something 🤞 but the mind is terrible for playing tricks

Screenburn · 13/01/2025 20:51

Well done on not testing @HollyGolightly4. I’m afraid I caved today - BFN - but I feel so strange that I’m thinking it’s maybe too early still (AF due any time from 15-17 Jan). Weird taste in my mouth, super heightened sense of smell and so tired it’s like my eyes are looking through fog…never normally get these with PMS, just cramps and backache (which I also have right now, but less intensely).

Can’t help but think something is happening…but am also v aware from the kind of job I do that the mind can play tricks on you! So trying not to get too excited.

HollyGolightly4 · 13/01/2025 18:39

My sister is severely disabled, mum had her at 29. Just one of those things. Ironically, major contributing factor to me putting off ttc- my mum has essentially had to do everything a new parent has for 28 years.

In other news, CD 29. AF not arrived ( have resisted testing) I'm usually 27-30 days. It feels imminent though.

overthinkersanonnymus · 13/01/2025 14:33

Clara202 · 13/01/2025 14:32

@overthinkersanonnymus it has crossed my mind but not to the extent that it would put me off. I have a friend group of about 10 and two of them have non verbal kids with autism, both conceived in their 20s. So the risk is there regardless of age. And it’s not a sin to admit that the possibility would scare you, I think we would all admit that. ❤️

Thank you @Clara202 ❤️

Original poster

Clara202 · 13/01/2025 14:32

@overthinkersanonnymus it has crossed my mind but not to the extent that it would put me off. I have a friend group of about 10 and two of them have non verbal kids with autism, both conceived in their 20s. So the risk is there regardless of age. And it’s not a sin to admit that the possibility would scare you, I think we would all admit that. ❤️

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thejadestoneandthedragon · 13/01/2025 14:22

@overthinkersanonnymus yeah I'd try not to think about that. We all wish and hope for a healthy baby of course. I just want to see a positive pregnancy test to be honest and I'll cross the other bridges when I get there. This journey is hard enough so try not to dwell on negative outcomes! ❤️

CD 8 for me and I've just bought a ferti - Lily conception cup from boots to try this cycle, after reading lots of positive reviews, it's worth a shot! Hope everyone is doing OK 🥰

overthinkersanonnymus · 13/01/2025 14:19

@carolinep3 thanks for your message. I have also done all kinds of research but it's all quite conflicting.

carolinep3 · 13/01/2025 14:13

overthinkersanonnymus · 13/01/2025 14:02

Does anyone else overly worry about disabilities due to age? Every month that goes by I think "im getting close and closer to the age that drastically increases chances of disability/severe complex needs".

I've been ttc for 3 years and 38 now, and my gut is telling me it's time stop because of the risk, but my heart says keep going.

I have expressed this concern before and got told that I was a disgusting person for even considering a child if I wasn't prepared to care for a severely autistic, non verbal, aggressive adult in 20 years time. It really worries me and the amount of people on this forum who have experience it every day really opened my anxiety box!

I haven't read the research myself, but my best friend just had a baby at 38. From everything she told me she had researched the risk goes up only by about 2% from 35-40.

overthinkersanonnymus · 13/01/2025 14:02

Does anyone else overly worry about disabilities due to age? Every month that goes by I think "im getting close and closer to the age that drastically increases chances of disability/severe complex needs".

I've been ttc for 3 years and 38 now, and my gut is telling me it's time stop because of the risk, but my heart says keep going.

I have expressed this concern before and got told that I was a disgusting person for even considering a child if I wasn't prepared to care for a severely autistic, non verbal, aggressive adult in 20 years time. It really worries me and the amount of people on this forum who have experience it every day really opened my anxiety box!

carolinep3 · 13/01/2025 13:16

Welcome @Daisyinthegrass.

Fingers crossed for everyone this month, statistically speaking a few of us should get. BFP this month surely!! 😬😬

Original poster

Clara202 · 13/01/2025 13:10

Welcome @Daisyinthegrass, lots of late 30s/early 40s here also so you’re in good company! I too am spending a small fortune on supplements and would have also liked 3 or 4 kids ideally but I now think if I manage to get pregnant once or twice I’ll be doing well. I knew it was going to be difficult but at the back of my mind I’d naively also thought I’d be lucky and catch first time! Who knows though, maybe I’ll be blessed eventually

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Screenburn · 13/01/2025 09:38

Welcome @Daisyinthegrass! There are quite a few of us in our late 30s here.

Hope everyone’s got a good week ahead!

KittyFantastica · 13/01/2025 08:34

Hi @Daisyinthegrass, welcome.

Yeah, @Clara202 there's a lot of missing information the NHS don't bother to provide/take seriously. The 'one rule fits all' is barbaric. That attitude is what killed my little boy, so I've no respect for the archaic attitudes we have to suffer. Despite many people complaining and charities campaigning, all the NHS info available still tells you it will be just like a regular period 🙄.

Original poster

Clara202 · 12/01/2025 22:53

@KittyFantastica Gosh I had never heard of pains like that with an early loss. Sounds frightening.

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Daisyinthegrass · 12/01/2025 09:30

Hi.

We've decided in the last couple of weeks to start trying for a baby. We're both so excited but I'm also worried that it won't happen or that it will take forever. We want 3 children and know that time is against us. This will be our first.

I'm in my late thirties, unfortunately have irregular periods and had one pregnancy that I miscarried at about 8 weeks 20 years ago.

We've spent an absolute fortune on supplements to try and maximise our chances, just waiting on them to arrive.

I thought I was fairly level-headed until the last few weeks. I don't know whether my breasts are a little tender or whether I keep prodding at them to see if they are a little tender and therefore whether I've made them a little tender, or whether I'm imagining it! Two pregnancy tests have been negative though.

KittyFantastica · 11/01/2025 15:13

Awww no @Sleepypixxie I'm so sorry you were hit with those horrible pains too. It was so shocking me me, everything I could find said it would be like a normal period and it was far from it. It was shocking.

Thank you; I wish you the absolute best. Lots of luck ✨

Sleepypixxie · 11/01/2025 13:57

KittyFantastica · 11/01/2025 00:13

Hi @Screenburn I wasn't tracking in November, so the way I did it then was to go by when I thought I'd ovulated, then count on 9 days from the latest day I thought ovulation might have been. I usually test at 9DPO as that's when I know I've had implantation before.

So, for this pregnancy, I did track ovulation and know I ovulated day 13, so I tested 9 days later on CD22. If you want to avoid any false positives, you could count on the full 14 days from when you think you ovulated. So, for example, if you think you ovulated on day 17 and you usually have a 29/30 day cycle, you could test from CD28/29. If you wanted to test earlier, you could test CD26/27 earliest. Or, as Caroline says, you could just wait for AF.

I always test early as I have had recurrent miscarriages and the loss of any pregnancy is physically very painful for me. For many people, very early pregnancy loss is like a period, but for me, I get full body contractions. First time it happened was the middle of the night in my first pregnancy and I would never want to wake up with that pain not knowing I'm pregnant already or I'd end up in A&E.

Hi Kitty, I have just experienced these full body contractions with my 5week loss so you have my full sympathy! I really wasn’t expecting it to be like that as most people online said it was just like a period, but not for me. It was certainly an experience.

Sending you lots of love & positive energy for this pregnancy 🥰❤️

MrsH26 · 11/01/2025 12:06

HollyGolightly4 · 11/01/2025 11:40

Thank you @carolinep3 and @Screenburn. It is early, so there is time for change, but it's hard to keep the positives (definitely no pun intended) in mind sometimes.

The acupuncture sounds great!

It’s so hard holding out testing isn’t it?
You’re certainly not out yet though

I’ve taken to running to the loo to pee first thing so then it’s pointless testing early!

HollyGolightly4 · 11/01/2025 11:40

Thank you @carolinep3 and @Screenburn. It is early, so there is time for change, but it's hard to keep the positives (definitely no pun intended) in mind sometimes.

The acupuncture sounds great!

Screenburn · 11/01/2025 10:37

Thanks for your advice @MrsH26 @carolinep3 and @KittyFantastica. You’ve all got different approaches, but understandably so - and it’s really helpful in helping me figure it out.

If it was just me I’d probably be testing daily from a lack of patience - but I wouldn’t want to get a false neg or pos for DH’s sake as much as my own…it’s so difficult! Depending on when I ovulated I’m anywhere between 8-11 DPO…so I think realistically I need to wait a bit longer as I’ve read that it’s not common to get a BFP this early (although obviously some do like you @KittyFantastica!)

Hope you are not feeling too down @HollyGolightly4 about BFN, seems like still v early for you too, even though it must be disappointing.

carolinep3 · 11/01/2025 10:30

HollyGolightly4 · 11/01/2025 10:28

I tested and- shock horror- it was negative

Sorry to hear that, the negatives are so hard to see after a while aren't they!
I'm on Cd1 today.
I contacted someone about fertility acupuncture and found out they are actually an infertility specialist and offer a whole range of things. I'm going to book an appointment for some advice (they do like a fertility MoT) and some acupuncture.