TTC #1 over 35

Virtual hugs for you too @Clara202 it's tough

Hugs @Toppstileslover no doubt someone will be along with wiser words than I, but it's hard xxx

Feel better writing that 😂

Oh @Nosejug I’m so sorry darling. Sending you so many hugs it’s devastating.

I feel very burdened with TTC at the moment. My husband and I have always been rock solid but it’s really impacting us as a couple. Since my MMC I really feel the clock ticking so loudly and I’ve never felt that way before. I am terrified of trying and it not happening and I’m terrified every month we don’t try it is another month.

All I can think about is that I’m 37.5 and need to have two kids in basically 2-3 years. It terrifies me now. Every month is a lost chance and we haven’t even tried this year (MMC in Feb, moved house in March, got a puppy that’s in the bedroom, husband has been away “that week” for two months). I am so angry and resentful to hubby for having a life and being away for two months in a row.

I know negativity isn’t going to make it happen but even trying is so much pressure. Going to book my Drs appt next week, beginning to think IVF is somehow easier to arrange when you have such demanding careers. I do have an IVF allowance on my work policy, but I know you can only have NHS IVF until you’re 39 so trying to keep it in the bank.

The burden of being older is a lot, especially when you still feel too young 😭

Sorry @Nosejug and @Clara202 sending virtual support 💐.

Bad news for me too. Feeling really bitter and just had the biggest cry as I mowed the grass.

Bad news for me too I’m afraid @Clara202 . I’m going to have another miscarriage. I haven’t processed it yet, I’m out awaiting my mot and just burst into tears in a coffee shop 🫣

Good luck, I certainly didn’t feel any different so I very much hope you get good news. I kept testing because I wanted more information around what was happening with ovulation, and I wanted reassurance that I truly did “peak” and that I’d go roughly back to 0. I only started using ovulation tests quite a while into my ttc journey. I wasn’t on Mumsnet till ivf and didn’t have all the advice on here. I took another opk the other day just to see and it was quite strong. I’ve read Hcg and lh are similar. Annoyingly my CB sticks are roughly the same (though strong) as two days ago, and the digital is still (as of 4am) 1-2 weeks which it was at last wed evening. If the doctor hadn’t flagged he was worried I wouldn’t be obsessing…

Oh sorry @Clara202 i never saw your reply. I mean I really can’t remember much about hycosi and it was only 1.5 years ago. I remember the lletz treatment I had the very next day as being truly terrible so I’m no brave one. Straight after the hycosi I was cheekily taking photos of the screen because it was so cool seeing the dye inside me describe my organs. I really do think it’s just that a board about people who had bad experiences will attract more stories that went that way. I’d def write on a board about lletz treatment with a message full of warning.

myself I’m feeling ok. Spoke to EPU and they don’t see any reason to believe it’s ectopic, especially as I have no symptoms. Scans been brought forward another week which was nice of them. Lots of random pains today in my lower abdomen. My cheap tests have plateaued but I’ve read they (one step) can be really bad for progression so I’ve bought some clear blue to test every few days instead. Trying to keep my sanity…!

Oh no! The hycosy is fine!! I mean of course everyone experiences things differently, but you’ll probably only find the extremes of experience reported becuase, apart from the result being clear, the experience felt pretty insignificant in terms of fear or pain. I wouldn’t exactly look forward to one but I hate all things smear/scan so it’s not like I’m brave about it. Having a clear result will serve you well in the future in terms of putting fears to rest (one of the reasons I’m resisting worrying too much about ectopic) and on top of all that, pregnancies are common in the first three months after a hycosi becuase even minor blockages are clear, like flushing out a thin line. Sadly for my I couldn’t try out the ttc benifit as I had a lletz the next day and a traumatic event caused by the lletz two weeks later. But if I were you I’d be nervously anticipating it and a little eager for the following chances of ttc!

@Clara202 this is brilliant! I would go with what the consultant told you not what the GP said (one is a generalist, one studied ovaries for another 10 years!). As you say it doesn’t mean quality (I find this bit hard to assess?) but quantity gives you options to improve the quality 💖✨ I know the doomscrolling before you have the tests x

My partner got varicocele treatment which is meant to maybe help but his morphology is exactly the same as it was (just tested). I’m doing the triple ubiquinol too (stopped for now) and taking myoinsitol (I think I said before) which is meant to support egg health and good ovulation. The doctor actually said ubiquinol wouldn’t hurt but wasn’t proven, but that myoinsitol has very strong evidence so to take that instead. Maybe it’s worth considering? I mean goodness, maybe that’s got something to do with my recent weird result. I’ve been taking it 1.5 months

Argh not morphology, amh. I need to walk away from my phone haha

Sorry also, my gp morphology was 2.6, my nhs fertility clinic one was 3.8. I was told it was likely inconsistency in measuring. It does also fluctuate a little and hydration believe it or not makes a difference too even with blood. 1/2 is a very big difference, but even half of 19 is still pretty good, and if you took the median just to be careful, it’s still an excellent number.

Same with my partner’s morphology but super on other bits.

yeah the way I understand it that means 12 that month.
my most recent baseline scan for upcoming treatment I had 3 and 3. I had 6 and 5 in my very first scan. I don’t know why they’d need to be even, but they did tell me that the follicles might just be too small/were missed and so didn’t get counted sometimes. I don’t think it makes a difference if they’re uneven, seems v common.

It’s really hard to take the info in/ask q’s during appointments. I just got really giddy that someone that could help was paying attention to my fertility issues.

That’s a brilliant amh @Clara202 !! I know people say it doesn’t mean much in terms of quality, but if you ever choose to get treatment it’s great in terms of quantity, and so ivf will be a good option if it comes to it. I think that will be the number of follicles that are developed this month. So every month it varies, but if without ivf meds you have that many follicles detected, that sounds really good to me. In my first round under very high stims I only had 11 follicles, in the second it was like 6 or something.