I’m 48 and want to have a baby

She did indeed - unusual or not it happened and was a successful pregnancy and her son (my uncle) has had 0 health issues growing up.

Try, see if it happens. Good luck.

I had post partum thyroiditis and hypo after my first child in my 20s. They do have to increase your dose of thyroxine and monitor tightly throughout the pregnancy, but on the right doses I conceived and delivered two more, quite clever children.

i agree with a lot of pp saying that it’s probably the peri menopause talking though. If it was me, I would be planning to do all the things you never managed to/could afford to do, when you had young children (and look forward to grandkids). I think, sadly, you’re more likely to have years of sadness and disappointment ahead if you take this route, and only a slim chance of getting what you think you want.

🤍 can’t quite believe how many people are against this and have a problem with it, she may never go through with something she really feels the want for because of the narrow mindedness of women on here. I hope she does as she wishes and has a happy life, pregnancy and baby 🤍

🤍 can’t quite believe how many people are against this and have a problem with it, she may never go through with something she really feels the want for because of the narrow mindedness of women on here. I hope she does as she wishes and has a happy life, pregnancy and baby 🤍

I had kids at 43 and nearly 48. They are extremely happy, doing brilliantly academically and at their hobbies, and seem very glad to be alive, thanks.

What a mean spirited post!

This is so hilariously passive aggressive!

Your nan had a baby at 53? That must have been very unusual.

Do you know what I think…. I think it’s your life and if you want it then you do it 🤍 nothing worse than what ifs and regret. If this is what you really want then you go make it happen 🥰🤍 ignore everybody’s negativity and go fulfill your dreams 🤍 xx

I loved my DC when they were little but have always seen having babies as a phase. You have two nearly adult DC so why aren’t you planning the rest of your life - what do you want from your career? What do you want to do with friends, in your leisure time, what are your travel plans? It’s time to let this dream of having another baby go. Do you really want to go back to sleepless nights, not going out of the house without a buggy and a large bag?

I think it is highly unlikely to happen without help, but not impossible. I don't think it's particularly wise. You're not going to enjoy the same levels of fitness you had when your other children were young, and the same ability to cope with lack of sleep etc. I think it could be more lonely, because I would imagine all your current friends are not interested in going out to family places for young children. I'm in my fifties and have a younger friend with young children - to be honest I prefer her to visit without the children!
It wouldn't be for me, I'm enjoying the independence that having older children brings and thinking about things I want to do for myself. Having said that, my dad had two children in his 50s and managed fine at the time, but though still healthy he has definitely aged now and the youngest is still mid twenties.

@kdmummyx what do you think is incorrect in the reply you quoted?

I would need to know a couple of things to advise what I think in your scenario. Such as, why are you "desperate" to have another child at this time? Are you in a stable relationship? Have you thought this through or could it be that you're mourning oncoming middle age and menopause? We all have to accept that ageing happens. In mid 50s, I became a Gran. Best thing ever. It's a typical life trajectory. Good luck working it out for yourself

I'm 48 and starting to suffer menopause symptoms - hormones are powerful things and can cloud your judgment. The phenomenon of a burst of fertility or just the want is a known thing.

My eldest is a bit younger than OP but it's been an adjustment her leaving for Uni - my youngest is 15 she'll be gone in less than 3 years finger crossed for her. It's a huge time of change for me and my hormones are also in flux. It would be very easy to think oh go back to the happy days of young kids and babies - try to recapture rather than find a new lifestyle. However it wont be the same.

The trying and not getting pg even when odds are against you can be a head fuck - the getting pg and suffering a miscarriage can be devastating even if you know the odds - worse still finding problems and having to make difficult decision - and if you are that under 1% who get healthy baby they'll still need you till they are 18 and in todays society probably much longer and how well you age is a unforeseeable.

If Op did really want this she'd need to be practical get her and her DP fertility check and consider IVF with donner egg and possibly sperm and think though having a teen in her late 60s not just baby now.

To not consider the full impact isn't being kind or positive - it's actually pretty heartless to both her, her DP her exiting kids and any future child.

Also MN is actually anti most kids at any age - was on thread once a women late 20 married financially stable both wanted kids was asking best time and got told over and over never - let along wanting more than one.

THIS message right here quite literally sums up this whole website/app. Does it shock me? Absolutely not.

I am awfully sorry that you feel this way and you’ve felt the need to write this message in regards to my reply to the op and to the op herself. I have no idea what’s going on in your life however I do hope that you have love and support around you, because something is clearly going on for you to feel the need to put another woman down in the way you just did. At the end of the day there is SO much worse going on in the world for you to be focusing on a woman in her late 40’s who wants a baby.

hope you have a lovely rest of your Sunday

regardless of the percentage of women who manage to conceive at that age it’s still possible - for people to say it’s impossible’ is clearly wrong. Whether it’s not ideal for ‘many people’ this woman isn’t ’many people’ she’s her own person who can make adult decisions for herself rather than being compared to everyone else who’s voted against her. And I’m sure from 98% of the comments on this thread she’s now very aware of the realistic chances, being positive about something isn’t hard.

Exactly this.

It's also important to be aware that this is hormones talking. Why the desire for a third child now, but not at age 35-42 when it would have been feasible? Hormones, that's why.

Also, I don't mean to be harsh here but it is something I feel very strongly; the potential child's wellbeing is more important than the desires of the parent. Of course I'm sure OP has good intentions here but many people bury their heads in the sand about the realities of life as we get older. There's no guarantee you'll be fit and healthy at 60 just because you're fit and healthy at 48.

It's really hard being a child with older parents who have significant health issues. I was constantly worried about them, and I missed out on opportunities for work and travel in my 20s because I had to be nearby to look after them. Lost them both much earlier than any of my friends lost their parents (in fact the majority of my friends' parents are still alive and in decent health). Neither of them lived to see me get married. I never knew any of my grandparents. It was so lonely and isolating.

I'm not saying this to be mean but it's the reality of the situation for many of the children who find themselves in this position. So I find the Pollyanna type "you do what's right for you hun, ignore the haters" replies quite irresponsible and naive, even if they are meant to be kind.

How fit are you? How will you feel being active at mid 50s with a 5 year old? Will you have the energy at 59/60 to be taking a 10 year old here, there and everywhere?

Would it bother you that everyone will assume your grandma, including your child's friends?

You sound lovely and caring but you must know that it's extremely unusual for some to have babies at 49 and 53. The chances are well under 1%. Having a teenager when you're 70 isn't ideal for many people, although I'm glad it worked out for your nan.
Your message is kind but it's also good to be realistic about the chances.

You are so so welcome - please don’t let any of the comments darken your day, you’re so much stronger than that. I hope you have the best Christmas with your lovely boys☀️🩷

It's unlikely you're not perimenopausal at 48 even if you have no symptoms.

I had a baby at 43 through ivf. My older 2 weee 15 and 17 at the time. I wouldn't change anything but being a new mum in your 40s is a lot different to your 20s. Also my wife had an affair and left me 4 years later, leaving me to face many years ahead as a single parent. If I'd known that would be my situation, I wouldn't have done it.

I think a common feature of perimenopause is a strong urge to have another baby. One last gasp of the ovaries kind of thing. It'll pass.

Some of the comments were probably made in a lighthearted way giving the op some advice on the situation, however some were not kind at all.

Obviously people are going to judge and make comments because this is a cruel world where people love to put other people down to make themselves feel better. It’s just sad to see and witness. This women was asking for success stories of other women who have had pregnancies at her age. Not for people telling her to be ‘greatful’ for the children she has. I expected better but I’m not shocked.

I think it is kinder to not put any hypothetical children through having elderly parents, perhaps having to care for them at an age when they’re thinking about having their own children etc

It is kinder to be honest. It is selfish to put the desire for a baby now first over actually thinking through what would be right for that baby. It’s also what most people are thinking which I imagine is what the op wanted to hear?