Disappointed with fertility consultation

Have they done any tests on your OH? You only mention the ultrasound and blood test on yourself (unless I missed it). I think something like 50% of fertility issues are male factor so they should definitely be testing him too. A semen analysis for starters but also blood worth testing too.

@Firsttime2023 l had a similar fertility check when l was 38 and my husband was 35. They couldn’t find any issues and told us to give it more time. It never happened naturally and only the 3rd round of eventually worked. I ended up having children at 43 which wasn’t really our plan. The odds of IVF aren’t great and the older you get then the worse the odds get

She should have spelled out the options plus the pro’s and con’s, then allowed you to make a decision. You are going private after all. She sounds like an NHS doctor trying to fob you off

At my first (and only) private fertility consultation I was advised something similar. I can’t remember if/ how all my timescales differed to yours, but the measage from them didn’t feel dismissive to me - it was much more along the lines that “we can’t see any specific cause of infertility and so you might prefer to wait until you’re eligible for nhs funding and come back for ivf/treatment in x months’ time”
could they have meant something like that, perhaps?

Get the hycosy

I got pregant the first month after it. 36 and 8 months trying. No issues on hycosy but i'm convinced it cleared something. Best £650 I've ever spent.

@Firsttime2023 it's a pleasure! I'm glad you have a second consultation. I hope you'll walk away with more answers this time.

In your OP and just now you have said that she told you to keep trying for another two years, but in your posts earlier you mention she said "there is no reason why it can't happen naturally, carry on as you are and if you get to two years I'd recommend coming back to us" so to me that looks like she is saying keep trying for only one more year to get to two years in total?

Just keep on trying. Yes age is a factor but it isn't impossible.
I had my 1st at 36 and my second at 40, conceived straight away at 40, no issues whatsoever, but took a few attempts at 36 because of chemical pregnancies etc.

Sounds very odd. I'm in Ireland (and only 36) and after over a year ttc we were seen in the public fertility hub . We were advised that husbands sperm numbers were a bit low so told to take supplements to see if they would improve, which they did but still no pregnancy. So at the next appointment I was scheduled to have my tubes flushed and was told if that didn't help then we would be put forward for ivf if funding was approved. Thankfully just after that appointment I got pregnant.
I'd have been quite disappointed if I had been told to come back in 2 years, especially when it had been a private appointment

Hi

Just want to say I understand the frustration! With out first visit the doctor also basically said everything seems ok, so we can keep trying naturally or do IVF if we are in a rush.

We ended up going to a different doctor and it was a very different experience.

I think it's worth explicitly asking which tests are out there, and what will you learn by doing each of them. At a minimum that would probably be: Bloods to check thyroid, progesterone and ovarian reserve, sonar to look at endometrium and for any other abnormalities, sonar near ovulation to look at follicle growth, HSG or hycosy to look at tubes, semen analysis, possible lap if there is nothing else.

I also think it's worth explicitly saying that you want to leave the consultation with a plan for the next x months and to tell the doctor where you are at in terms of a timeline, since it will greatly impact the next steps. E.g. we really want to try to get pregnant in the next 6 / 12 / 24 months. Which course of actions would give us the best chance to achieve this?

If your timeline is 24 months, they might suggest trying naturally for a few more, but if the timeline you give them is 12 or less, I think it would make sense to start with medicated rounds immediately after all the necessary tests have been done and take it from there.

I hope this helps. All the best!

We went to a private clinic when we were TTC as we'd been trying 6 months and I was 40.
They did all the tests and scans, when the results came back normal and in her words 'were the last people that should be sat there telling her I couldn't get pregnant ' she suggested a hycosy straight away, we decided we'd go ahead with it (for another £150) and were sent away to wait for my next period to start as you have to have it on certain days of your cycle. I'm very surprised she didn't try to almost push you to have one, we were told there was no reason for us to have one other than to rule it out, and a lot of people fall pregnant within 3 cycles of having one so we felt it was worth a go. Luckily I fell that month whilst I was waiting for my period to arrive!

I've not read through all your replies so sorry if this has already been suggested. If you have no other option than to keeping trying for the next two years, look into the book " it starts with the egg" and some decent prenatal supplements. There are some really pricey ones out there but I've heard proceive are quite good. I've just bought them from boots today. £25 for a month's supply.

Best of luck x

I completely agree with you, my OH found it really reassuring nothing was wrong.. and I did too but didn't get any of the advice around like even timing of intercourse.

Fertilily.. I'm a case study of one so take that with a pinch of salt.. we have been trying for a year, pregnant once in May which ended in MC in June. Then first cycle using fertility we are now pregnant again. I'm very hesitant to get excited after the MC but I'd definitely use fertilily again. I use menstrual cups so it was easier than that, otherwise I'd suggest giving it a go before you 'need' it so you're familiar

A private clinic would take you straightaway I'd have thought?! NHS, you need your have been trying for a certain amount of time. In my area it's 3 years, so we went private. Good luck

This sounds like you are looking for an NHS referral? A private clinic would have you booked in to start on your next cycle