Disappointed with fertility consultation

Anyone can pay privately for IVF, as far as I'm aware. Go to a private IVF clinic and just pay for treatment now if you can afford it? I think you can also take a hormone that will release multiple eggs each month and increase your chances (maybe pay a clinic to try that first?) but that obviously carries a real risk of multiples.

I agree that insemination won't be any more effective than just having sex if there's no issues with his sperm. I think if you're paying privately you can do this - just go to another clinic

Exactly . It’s ages to wait for ivf. My friend and her husband are 36 and they waited 8 months for the first ivf appointment. You don’t get an appointment within a month.

I'm just surprised that consultants tell you to lie

Yes all nhs lists are diff in diff areas
But very rare to have no wait for ivf

But

If that's true the means you will be talking to a clinic next month and depending that type of ivf /cycle /drugs you could be starting ivf month after so March

Must be different as I’m 35 and was told it’s 2 years. Should be fair and square all over the country. I do wish you well though. I hope you get your baby dust as they say.

At 38 you don't have to try for 2 years to be referred for NHS testing, it's either 6 months or a year, I can't remember exactly which, it's only 2 years if you're under 35 I think it is.

Never heard of no wait nhs ivf

Most are least a year long

And tbh it's wrong to lie about how long you have been ttc so get bumped up the list - meaning that someone else who has been waiting goes later now

I get you don't want to pay for private ivf

It's a lot. Dh and I paid for 5 attempts

5th worked finally after 10yrs ttc and many many thousands spent

The nhs waiting times for fertility specialists are longer than 4 months so not sure why he said you shouldn’t have waited. You don’t get to jump the queue. I waited 8/ 9 months. It’s 2 years ttc to get on the waiting lists so it’s wrong and selfish to try and lie when you are taking someone’s genuine space.

Personally I wouldn’t stop tracking your cycle just because if you go for ivf that information over time is valuable to them so they can see if you have a long or short luteal phase etc and work with your natural cycle. Definitely have the Hycosy as it may clear your tubes and get things moving as is so often the case and if it comes to it and you need ivf then great there’s no wait on the nhs. Wishing you lots of luck. Definitely come back and update us.

Not sure I understand why he said you shouldn’t have been waiting this long AND to lie and say that you’ve been trying for longer than you have? Or have I misunderstood?

I’m not criticising his comment or yourself but I just don’t really understand that bit.

I conceived naturally about two cycles after I stopped tracking bbt and testing for ovulation etc. I don’t necessarily believe that people shouldn’t try the tracking etc… that’s just what happened to me and whether or not there is a link there I really don’t know. In the same ‘two cycles’ timeframe I also got a puppy… so that could be worth a try…?
(I’m joking obviously!! Just a comment that stopping bbt may or may not have had any affect on conception)

Did they do the AMH test?

In my experience, they’re only really there to offer ivf. If you’re not going for that and have no obvious medical issues they’re not interested.

“Controversial but he told me to delete all the apps, stop tracking my ovulation and to just dtd at least 3 times a week every week......what do you all think?” OP@Firsttime2023 how are you tracking your ovulation? Are you doing it by measuring basal temperature and noting cervical mucous? I get why he may say to stop all the apps, stress is a big part of the problem for many but if you aren’t tracking via temp and mucous then you aren’t going to pick up some of the typical problems that affect people ( eg. Anovulatory cycles; short Luteal phase). My last pregnancy early 40’s took very little time to conceive in comparison to my first pregnancy, when we tried for 2 plus years before I understood the simple tracking signs…having both the probs i have mentioned, I was able to use herbal medicine and timing , the idea of having to have sex 3 times a week for each and every month would have been a bit much whilst caring for a toddler!

@Firsttime2023 this thread has been really helpful!

I went to my GP (NHS) and said we’d been trying for 13 cycles and he immediately referred me for fertility treatment/investigations.

He said if anyone asks you’ve been trying for 2 years.

So it is very odd to fob you off after 1 year even just for further investigations. Definitely go for a second opinion and good luck!!!!

Although I'm sorry to hear it took 5 years from your consultation to having children your post gives me hope despite the stats. I'm 43, not far off 44 and going for frozen embryo transfer in the new year. Need a camera in first to check for scarring following several procedures after two TFMRs back in 2022. Fortunately we do have a 10 year old we adore but it's been a journey these last few years.

Sending strength to everyone on their journey 💕

I'd reccomend 3 months of procieve supplements for both of you. I'd also have a look at what medication you are both on. My husband was on antihistamines for a year for a dust mite allergy and I found several studies indicating that long term antihistamine use can interfer with sperm production. Dh gp cleared him to stop taking them. I was lucky I got my positive before getting my tubes flushed as its not meant to be a nice procedure but it can increase chances of conception according to the specialist we saw.

I think it's odd that a private provider would be talking about when you're "allowed" to have IVF, especially at 38 when you've already been trying for a year. The whole point of going private is that you shouldn't have to wait and can just move on with fertility treatment if you want it.

If I were in your position and I could afford to pay for IVF, there's no way I'd wait another year.

Your consultant appointment sounds utterly bizarre and I'm sorry about your fertility struggles. A 15mins appointment!!! My first private consultation was at least an hour! Discussing both DH and my own previous jobs, risk factors, STI's, medical history, gynae history, menstrual history etc. Have you had an AMH to check your egg reserve? We too had no reason to sub-fertility ever found.

In the UK, over the age of 35, after only 6mths of TTC, its advised you see your GP to be referred. I cannot understand her saying wait another year or 2!!! Has your partner been tested too as you haven't mentioned that? I asked the fertility consultant whether certain meds/supplements etc were worth it. She said that if the cost is not prohibitive, then they can't hurt!

Other than getting a hycosy done, AMH and semen analysis if not already done, some additional things we tried:
-I started DH on a lycopene supplement. Its found naturally in red/orange fruit and veg, but some studies have shown it can improve sperm health.

-I bought a cheap, copy of 'it starts with an egg' from ebay. Some simple changes can 'potentially' help
-Ensure you are both within a health BMI, stop smoking (if applicable), reduce alcohol and caffeine, keep testicles cool- loose boxers and not briefs, and try to get weekends away. I used to book mini trips away when I was fertile. I'd never tell DH, because I'd worry he would stress about performing etc (we TTC 12yrs, so it was a very long time!) but relaxing can sometimes help
-Acupuncture, massage, Chinese herbs etc have helped some people
-Pure Ubiquinol 200mg. I did a huge amount of reading and apparently this is more readily absorbed than the CoQ10

Unfortunately, we don't have any living children and stopped TTC/IVF about 3yrs ago when I was 43. Happy to answer any questions though and wishing you all the best x