TTC after loss part 6

I have fertility counselling this week
.has anyone else had that ?

Thank you @Figtree11 and I am sorry this is a hard time for you, I know I can't say anything much to help but I do understand, I have a few tough anniversary's before the end of the year too and am here when you need.

Do you find some people around you anoying atm? I really do, people that make flippant comments or don't understand things and also I find I am totally avoiding people that have babies or are pregnant at the minute and I was never like that before.
It is nothing personal against them obviously... I suppose it's just trying to safeguard our feelings because it hurts x

Hi @Mummysparrow hope you are doing ok. It looks like cd17 is maybe your peak? Would that be different from your usual cycle? x

@Figtree11 I take omega too, it's meant to be very good. Thank you, I hope your appointment is of some help too. I don't know if you feel the same, but it is a harder time of year to be ttc with no success, I think in the summer when you are outside alot and there are lots of nice things to do to take your mind offit is easier but I am finding everything a bit harder. x

So I did exactly what I said I wasn't going to do and I tested, bfn this morning. I was thinking realistically because it's now more than 2 years we have been trying, that maybe it wouldn't happen and I tried to imagine not getting pregnant/having another baby and I am really not ok with it so for now we will just need to keep trying... maybe will ditch the bbt and opks next month to make it less stressful. It is frustrating as I am ovulating every month but with no success since the loss last August now.
anyway, rant over ha ha hope everyone elses Tuesday is going ok 🙂 x

Cd17 and what is going on with my LH tests. I am losing hope.

@Nic2908 I’m so sorry to read that you’ve started to bleed. Nothing I can say will help I’m sure.
but please try to be kind to yourself. Sending you lots of love and prayers xx

@Nic2908 I am so sorry to read this, it's so unfair, so frustrating and so awful to get ypur hopes up only to have to go through it again. We are all here for you xx ❤️

I am so sorry to read this and sorry you are going through all of it. Sending lots of love x

😪 I'm so sorry @Nic2908 I've found in moments like this, very little can be said that will help or ease how unfair this is, but as always, you can vent here and say how you are feeling. Be good to yourself xxx

Evening ladies, just a little update from me. I’ve started bleeding this afternoon so I’m pretty confident that this was a chemical. How fucking shit!!! The way I’m feeling right now is that this is the end of the line for me. I can’t keep hurting myself like this and delaying life for the “just in case”. Losses at 16 weeks, 12 weeks and now a chemical and although physically each one has been easier than the last, emotionally every one has been harder than the last. I feel utterly broken.

Aw I can only imagine how frustrating that is for you @Figtree11 would you think about trying/or have you tried any supplements to try tor regulate things more? If I reas your message right, is it getting earlier each cycle?

I understand, it's just awful, I'm so sorry you are going through these feelings right now.
The thing that would help you right now is good news and I hope so much that you get it soon.
Thank you for your kind words 🥰
I have a gynecologist appointment next Wednesday which I was referred to because of multiple losses (over a year later lol) but anyways, I plan to ask about fertility etc too and hoping for some good advice, will share anything I learn x

@Figtree11 what cd was ovulation last month? I remember you said it was very late, would it stick to a sort of similar pattern or could it be anytime?

Sorry about the due date coming up, it's so tough... like you said especially at a cosy nice time of year and I don't know about you but I find I see pregnant people and things on social media all the time around difficult milestones which makes it harder. Sending a hug 🫂

My period will be due on Sunday... I have hope, as we all always do, but at the same time, i'm sure it will come, my last loss was August last year and I have been trying ever since x

@Figtree11 hey, how are you doing? Hope you are feeling a little better now that (I think) your period will be over? How was your weekend? I am good thank you, I have a cold which is anoying but good because I can't really symptom spot, going to try to wait for my period and not test this cycle for my sanity. I say try because my track record isn't the best lol x

@Joleyjojo Pregnancy announcements are the worst, it literally gives you the feeling that your stomach has dropped out of your body. Sorry you are having to deal with that x

I'm sorry I tagged the wrong 'N' in my last comment, I meant to tag @Nic2908 about the tests.
Sorry @Ncl31 xx

I'm sorry your period arrived @PensivePencil I hope you are doing ok x

@Bellabubble Sounds like you have got some good advice from the ladies on here. I think still having the faint line is a whole other emotional side of things too, I remember wanting to see the negative test but also being sad at it when it came. Hoping you dont have long before you get fresh new cycle and can try again. And I'm with you with the transactional dtd, it is hard to keep it romantic at that time of the cycle. Hope you are ok x

@Beanie14 sorry about the bfn ❤️ I do it to myself most cycles too and everytime I think next time I will wait but it's easier said than done, especially when you want it so much and have been waiting so long x

@moosey89 That was very insensitive, people just don't think before they speak , that must of been really tough for you to sit through that, I'm sorry x

@Ncl31 sorry to see all the confusion with your tests. I hope you have clarity soon and the time until then goes fast for you x

I’m so sorry - that sounds really tough! I hate the insensitivity of it all. I know for some people who haven’t ever experienced it - they are in blissful ignorance and even if they know your situation, they don’t really comprehend it even if they are empathetic, but I just don’t get the whole asking/commenting about wanting children, and then the whole “just you wait..” once they do have children. Also - being a parent does not make their tiredness more than anyone else’s. I have been way more tired and run down pre-child!

I had a couple of family members ask at a baby shower some years ago “you need to get on it” and “do you actually want children” and I was not very mature! I answered that my boyfriend and I wanted to be married (wasn’t the case at all but my cousin had got back with an ex just to fall pregnant then dumped him) and when they asked a couple of years later (because they clearly didn’t learn the first time) I bit again because I had just had a loss - which I told them and they looked so horrified but they never asked again!

@Nic2908 im so sorry it’s awful! I had similar happen to me a couple of months ago. I had a chemical in July strong positive on frer and faint on Amazon cheapies but didn’t progress and then 3 days later AF I was absolutely gutted!!!Ypu get your hopes up and it’s taken away so soon it’s so unfair I’m so sorry. I do hope it isn’t a chemical and it’s just hcg being slow to rise. Got everything crossed.

I had BFN yesterday at 10dpo and today at 11dpo. I don’t know why I do it to myself. I wish I had the self control. Now I’m sad 2 days before AF even due just wish it would hurry up. At this rate I think it’ll never happen. Just doesn’t make any sense. We conceived my first on the first try and now bar the chemical in July nothing for a whole year!

Thank you @Figtree11 @Superscientist @ThelastRolo20 - I think that I’ll wait until I see a negative teat before TTC! I don’t want the added stress of not knowing if/when I conceived or whether it’s anything retained. My husband is working away this coming week anyways and I suspect I will ovulate when he is away. I know it could all hang around, but we’re at the stage where we just dtd once now at that time lol - it can seem a bit “transactional” and too stressful given the amount of months it can take us and what not!

Spent the day at my boyfriend's brother's birthday do. Everyone had young kids. Everyone was talking about kid/baby stuff. We weren't allowed to mention feeling tired because "just wait until you have kids" (most people there didn't know our history but his brother also used that line and I wanted to punch him for his lack of sensitivity). I am emotionally wiped out, that was way harder than I thought it would be.

@Nic2908 you aren’t neurotic! It is such a difficult time ttc, for those of us where it doesn’t just happen fairly quickly and then go on into a full term pregnancy it is such a time of over thinking, second guessing and anxiety! Is there anything no you could so to distract yourself to help some time pass? I know it is ieasier said than done, but if you can keep yourself busy it might let your brain/thoughts have a bit of rest at least xx

@Figtree11 i am on day 32 of my cycle and they are usually 28/29 days. I ovulated roughly around Monday 20th. And I know this because I had a repeat internal scan on the 21st and they could see a corpius lutium or what ever they are called.