TTC after loss part 6

Hi everyone, I'm back again. Still no bfps for over a year now. Been for fertility testing and we both got really good results which at least is something. @Figtree11 I have APS

That food sounds amazing. That will be so hard though. My advice also would be, be prepared people might not be as tuned in to your feelings as you are. I've noticed that with my own loss and that can be hard particularly at Christmas. Take care of yourself

We’re going to my parents as usual. My younger brother has had a difficult few years battling alcohol and drug addiction and is making lunch for us all together as a family. He’s missed out on Christmas properly for so many years. He’s a top chef so I know lunch will be amazing. im tryifn to focus on that for him as I know how much it means to him us all being together. However, it was immediately before lunch at my parents last year that I started bleeding.

That's so hard, @Ncl31 would you do something different for Xmas. Ive decided to do something different with dh as it would have been my sons first proper Christmas too. I'll be crossing every finger for you for this month.

I’m okay I guess. Absolutely dreading Christmas this year. It should have been our first Christmas as a family, instead I’ll be thinking of my baby we lost on Christmas Eve last year. I was hoping I’d be pregnant again just to make it easier.
AF due on 15th December so still got one final chance before the end of the year.

@TrulyMiss welcome, I’m sorry to hear about your missed miscarriages 😔

I was told to wait 3 months after my first MC by midwife’s and got pregnant straight away with my DC. I then had another MC in 2022, I tried again the following month and conceived. Sadly that pregnancy ended in miscarriage too and we had a break over Christmas before TTC again.. I got pregnant when we started trying again and lost that baby at 13 weeks. I was then asked to stop by doctors whilst I had tests, they all came back normal but I haven’t got pregnant since (although we’ve taken a break here and there for various tests/reasons). Sorry not the most compelling of stories but I guess just a real mixed bag!

Hoping once you’re ready to TTC it happens quickly for you 🙏🏼

I'm doing well @Ncl31 thanks very much. Hope you are doing ok too. Run up to Christmas is so busy and before I knew it, there's over a 100 new posts on here. How are you? Xx

@Figtree11 thank you, currently 8DPO so in the waiting window again. Hope are you doing?

@Ella31 ah how lovely a little girl. I can’t believe you’re 20 weeks already! How are you?

NHS gp can do blood clotting tests folks

Also b2 glycoprotein ( links to recurrent miscarriage)

Those nhs tests are v worth asking for

My bloods also already been found to.clot a bit quick

Weve had a response from a referal sayin theyll see us at recurrent miscarriage clinic

I only saw this now @Superscientist apologies as I've been in and out of the thread. There's no words really that I know that will ease your worry, but thinking of you and I hope you get answers soon. Xx

Im so sorry for your losses.
My story is quite extreme as in the last 2 years Ive had two early mc's and unfortunately I lost my twins last Christmas at birth. One Born sleeping and my other was a Neonatal death at 4 days old. But it was all just horrific bad luck. Just the unlucky odds of miscarriage early and with my twin sons, sadly identical twins are very high risk. Unlucky again.

However in terms of trying again, after my second mc, I got pregnant straight away with my beautiful twins. Perfect pregnancy bar the high risk and unfortunately we had 1% chance of what happened to them - sadly we hit the 1%

I did try again soonish after my twins died as I was 33 last year and once they said my section was healed I went for it. It did take 8 months to conceive again which I put down to hormones and terrible grief naturally. But I'm now 20 weeks with a little girl.

I think it's really important to be in the right headspace. Obviously dh and I were in the horrors this whole year and trying again really consumed me while I was trying to come to terms with my twins death and realising I'd be visiting a grave every Christmas not santa. So I think you are right in allowing yourself to grieve and process things and then start again properly. Wishing you all the luck in the world.

@Figtree11 head up fig. It's absolutely ok to check out when you need to. I only dip in and out these days.

@Ncl31 nice to see your name but so sorry things are tough xxx

@Beanie14 sending much love to you. Xx

Thanks @Figtree11
I'm feeling pretty awful. I have been off work for the last 2.5 weeks with sickness and fatigue. This week I have had a horrid cold too. I'm ready to get back into the real world again but need to wean myself off my afternoon naps!

There are three phospholipid/coagulents with confusing and complicated names - one is the lupus anticoagulant which is a coagulant! How they come up with these names I don't know! Any of the three or multiple of them can be raised. I think my dad had one possibly two raised. The lupus anticoagulant was ok and he had no signs of lupus but it is much more common in women than men. They need to run all the necessary tests before treatment as being on blood thinners messes up the results. My dad had to be stable on the warfarin before they could take him off the warfarin to rerun the tests to confirm the aps.

I was tested before having my daughter, before my dad was undiagnosed, but I think I will look at getting tested again. My levels were normal at the time but they can change with time.

@Figtree11 when it’s happened before you just have all of these worries that pile up don’t you! Fingers crossed that won’t be the case for you.

Glad it’s treatable x

thank you x

@Superscientist sending lots of love, that’s a awful position to be in xx

Thanks @Figtree11 it's next Thursday.

It can be readily managed with blood thinners and can go into remission too. You might need testing for lupus as it's often they go together. It was Dr Hughes a prominent lupus specialist that identified aps as a condition.

My dad was on warfarin as it's more easily reversed in an emergency and he had a manual job so they needed to balance the risk of clots with risk of the risk of uncontrollable bleeding if he had an accident at work. His thrombotic risk is now managed with aspirin. It's a complicated story they lost the test results that showed the aps after his Tia when they retested years later he no longer had any markers for aps. Your levels of the phospholipids vary for many reasons which is why you need the bloods repeated.

hi all. I have been avoiding these threads since my another loss. But here we are again! Im convinced this test will be a positive. I have felt like this twice before and both times it was. After my sixth loss I have totally changed. Gone is the obsessive tracker etc. I would read about other women who suddently stopped doing it so delicately and intricately planned and would be like WTF, that could never be me. But it is! I havent done a single test, LH or HCG since July. Just relying on my own body etc. But i woke up this morning, 10DPO and i just feel it in my gut. My question is, whats the minimum time to hold wee? I notmally use FMU but didnt and now im DESPERATE to test. is 4 hours enough?

Hi @Figtree11 I know a bit about aps my dad was diagnosed a few years ago with it after a Tia. He was later undiagnosed with it after repeat tests showed negative results. When you are ready I'm happy to talk about what I learnt from my reading.

It looks like I'm heading back over here. I had a scan 2 weeks ago at what should have been 7+3 but was 6 weeks. Rescan this morning and there's been growth but not consistent with 2 weeks and no heartbeat. Given I should be either 9+4 or 8 weeks depending on lmp or previous scan I've been told to prepare to lose the pregnancy. They are rescanning next week to confirm.

@Reyttc Im sorry you’re going through this, it’s really tough, particularly with the waiting

@Figtree11 sending love. It’s almost a positive that they have found something so that a plan can be made, hope I’m not speaking out of turn here. I felt almost frustrated when mine came back normal. I totally understand the Christmas thing too, it’s a really hard time of year when TTC/after loss.

@PensivePencil I’ve had both a handful of therapy sessions and Accupuncture. Can’t recommend either enough. If you find a fertility Accupuncturist they’re invaluable. Appreciate not for everyone but it’s definitely made me do a 180 on it and now I see my Acupuncturist every fortnight x

Currently CD10 and been spotting the last few days which is joyous.. so don’t no whether to just say I’m out or test!

I feel you.
it really hit home when we put our tree up and we were putting our decorations on “first Christmas at our new home together - 2021” “first Christmas engaged - 2022” “first Christmas married -2023”
a year just rolled down my face when I realised we should have had a 2024 - another first. But we don’t sadly. It’s heartbreaking.
Im not sure how I’m going to cope with Christmas this year.
Im currently 5DPO, not really sure how I feel about this cycle if I’m honest.
How are you today? X