TTC after loss part 6

Hey @Nosejug sorry you’ve had such a rough time and for your loss. Hoping 2025 is a positive year for you, and welcome to the group xx

Hey all, I was looking for a group like this but only just found yours. Hope it's ok to join.

As introduction: Been ttc 3 years, have had one failed round of ivf (I make very few eggs even on max drugs, so one round is one try if we're lucky). We had a spontaneous pregnancy in my subsequent natural cycle that ended around 6 weeks (yolk sac but not fetal pole). It's almost 2 months since mc. Already on another nhs ivf round again, begin stims (daily injections) on nye. Partay!

Oh and I'm just about to be 39.
Just looking to engage with people in the same ish boat or at least in the same ish sea.

@Mummysparrow I’m sorry you’ve had such a tough diagnosis, hoping that there’s something they can do to help you once you know more xxx

@TrulyMiss yes I’ve had medical management. Sorry I’m so slow in responding, hope it went as well as it could? I’ve had different experiences both times I’ve had medical management.

@Superscientist I’m so sorry for your loss, sending love your way.

By the time my appointment came through it had already been 3 months since miscarriage. I just remember I couldn’t be pregnant for the lupus test as can give a false positive I believe. You can get thyroid panel etc fairly reasonably priced online at companies link Medichecks if you don’t want to wait, equally some doctors will run that and full blood count for you. Tommys have a page on GP tests and it mentions clotting;

https://www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support/miscarriage-information-and-support/tests-and-treatments-after-miscarriage/your-care-after-1-or-2-miscarriages#GP-help

Hope this is helpful x

@Mummysparrow I’m so sorry to read this.

I’m so sorry to hear this :( sending you so much love xxxxxx

@Beanie14 I have had 2 scan, 1 private and one through NHS and I definitely have an isthmocele with fluid in the scar and both scans say one side of my uterus is heterogeneous which when googled it doesn't look ideal. There is a mention of a potential adhesion and can't rule out adenomyosis 😬 strangely enough despite all this I still have periods and not a huge amount of pain. But essentially my uterus is looking inhospitable 😭

@Mummysparrow how long have you been trying?
I was convinced I had this as we’ve been trying for over a year with no success (at all!!).
so I paid for a private test which didn’t show anything apparently, not sure if NHS tests would look into more detail though. At a loss here too.
I can’t imagine why the NHS wouldn’t do the fix is this something they told you? Especially if you’re actively trying for a baby? Maybe it’s just if you’re done having babies and it’s not causing any pain?
I hope your next appointment gives you more insight into everything xxx

@Beanie14 I only to my GP about spotting after my period thinking it would be hormone related and I was referred for a scan to check for fibroids and this is what was showed. Ultrasound isn't the best for diagnosis of those conditions and getting measurements so I am probably going to need further tests to see how bad it is.
Thanks, I am going between it may not be that bad to thinking it must be bad if I am not pregnant yet 😬

@Mummysparrow oh i am so so sorry 😢 how did you get this diagnosis ?
I have no words only want to send you so much love!! Xxx

Unfortunately it looks like I might be at the end of my TTC journey. I unfortunately have an isthmocele and potentially Ashermans so I would need that all fixing to be able to conceive but the NHS don't always do the fixes and I can't afford private so my options are limited. I wish you all the best in your TTC journey and urge you to see your GP if you have any spotting outside of your period xx

@Superscientist hopefully everyone is understanding - I know people can be unreasonable though so it isn’t always the case. But you’d like to think people were supportive - it’s not like you can control the sickness or any pregnancy trials and tribulations (for want of an umbrella term for everything that comes with pregnancy)

That sounds amazing in your hospital! Mine is definitely not like that - the EPU has a small waiting room but you have to walk through the waiting room where ladies are waiting for their ultrasounds/midwife appointments. Definitely sucks!

Thank you. Hopefully it returns soon - I’m 40 so had a slight (irrational) fear that it might just never come back 😂 I have been seeing soooo many rainbows recently though - and I had been wondering whether to try again or find a way to make peace with having our one LO. I saw loads before falling pregnant with her, so I have decided it is a sign to keep on trying and that AF will return lol. Our LO has been talking about having a little sister too (never asked her if she wanted a sibling or told her I was pregnant as she only just turned 3) so I’m choosing to take these as the universe telling me it will happen eventually x

Thanks @Babydust99 I know I'm protected but I know it doesn't stop people grumbling! I'm also sensitive after experiencing disability discrimination from the disability officer when my was doing my PhD!
I had 5-6 weeks of barely work in July and August with hyperemesis and miscarriage and now just had 4-5 weeks of barely working including the 3 weeks of not working at all in Nov/Dec again with hyperemesis and fatigue. I still haven't finished the project I started in June because of the sick leave. It got de-prioritised otherwise it would have been passed on another person so it's not time sensitive, other aspects of my role have been passed on to a colleague until the new year whilst I get back up to fully functioning. It just makes me feel ineffective! I'm also dreading a successful pregnancy as it's likely to be associated with more sick leave. My GP offered me a 2 month sick note this time round because of the sickness. It seems to hit me worse each time. My mind boggles that I managed to go into the office every day when I was pregnant with my daughter despite the sickness! I wasn't much more effective though! My line manager has spoken about secondary infertility and he essentially banned me from coming into the office this time around! I'm not worried about him but the general views I'm more worried about. Also it's going to come pretty bloody obvious that I'm pregnant if I disappear for a month every time!

It does seem that my hospital is one of the more proactive ones. They have a rainbow room for early scans after loss which is a self contained room away from the epu and regular scan rooms to avoid other pregnant women and rooms with bad memories. There's specially commissioned art work funded by a donation in the name of a baby born sleeping. It was a calming space and I'm glad it exists. Three of the hospitals in our trust now have them, hopefully they start to proliferate

I'm sorry you are still waiting for AF time frames beyond your control are hard especially as the body has its ways to go against you when you start to fret! I hope you get to start trying soon x

@Superscientist I have a feeling as the absence is pregnancy related you would be protected if they did get annoyed, but hopefully they will continue to be understanding! My third pregnancy was my successful one - hopefully the same happens for you too 🤞🏻🤞🏻 Where I am they didn’t (not sure if it has changed) look into anything after my first 2 and I was 36 - like you say - it’s so frustrating that it isn’t standardised everywhere!

i’m still waiting for AF to return - I am 8 weeks post mva and nothing! I had 2 random days with a teeny bit of pale pink cm, but nothing else - so I have no idea when I’ll ovulate - but I am definitely ready to try again!

@TrulyMiss I'm sorry there is some material left. I hope the meds help. It's so hard when it's slow and you are trying to move on

I'm pretty sure I passed the pregnancy last night. It's a relief but emotional too. I'm really ready for January 1st and hopefully a fresh start and leave 2024 behind.

It's frustrating how care isn't standardised. Why your location impacts if you get help after 2 or 3 losses wait 2 months or 2 years for help is madness. I wish there was a crystal ball to know if the next pregnancy would be successful. I had 3 weeks off work this time round barely able to move from the sofa due to nausea, sickness and fatigue and a few days off before that. I'm not sure how many more times I can put myself through the first trimester for it to disappear into a puff of smoke. I should be grateful that conception so far hasn't been an issue but having weeks of not being able to eat or drink takes it out of you. Work have been great but I do wonder how many times I can do it without annoying them!

@Confusedmermaid1 @Superscientist thanks both for taking the time to reply. I was in this morning and there is still a little there. Doc isn't concerned but has recommended another round of meds to try and speed it up. Just annoying as I feel my cycle won't start again until everything has cleared. Second miscarriage in a row so I feel time is marching on...

@Superscientist I'm sorry for your loss. Helpful to have been processing it I guess but still very hard to go through it again. good that they will refer you but the waiting is so difficult! Here (in Ireland) they won't do tests for 2 over 35 if you have a child which is very frustrating. They're telling me no cause for concern but just logically anyone who has 3 also had 2 at some stage...

@Superscientist no probs. If you do it earlier it could be a false positive and will be disregarded and retested anyway 🙈

Thanks@Babydust99 that's what I thought but hoped wouldn't be the case! 😆

Thanks @Figtree11 that was my thinking. March seems such a long way away!
The leaflet I got said waits range from 2 months to 2 years depending on area so we'll see!
If it is a long wait I might see what my GP can offer in terms of tests. They tested me for aps before TTC my daughter which was negative but levels can change. I was also having my thyroid levels checked every 6 -12 months before stopping the lithium in March this year so they could possibly check it from that angle without waiting for the appointment to come through.
So much waiting around though! It's harder than the loss. We've known the pregnancy was unlikely to stick for 3 weeks and have done the processing emotionally of the loss and feel ready to move on but really just at the start of the physical loss.

@Superscientist you need to wait 12 weeks for the tests because the tests for APS must be a minimum of 12 weeks after the end of a pregnancy to be accurate. If those tests are positive they also test them again 12 weeks later and if still positive, then you get a diagnosis. I know it's a long, horrible wait but if it gives you answers then it's worth it.

I had medical management in July and it did work but just to reassure(?) you I was also still getting obvious positives on tests 2 weeks after. When I was 3 weeks I had a fainter line but still definitely there so I called EPU and they did a HCG blood test and were happy that it was very low and just taking time to reduce to 0. They didn’t actually rescan me, but I had ended up in A&E due to the volume of bleeding (I was fine, just a precaution) that they didn’t see the need?
Hopefully they will be able to give you some answers as to whether it’s incomplete or just taking time to reduce. Sending hugs.

Sorry I don't personally @TrulyMiss but a friend needed the tablets 3 times to complete her miscarriage and took 2-3 months to get her negative test.
It took 3 weeks with my last miscarriage to get a negative test. I had my HCG monitored every week. At 1.5 weeks my HCG was 180 and 2.5 weeks 20.

My miscarriage was confirmed this morning. I started bleeding last night. I have gone for wait and see for now. In August I passed the pregnancy with a day of the bleeding starting. They are going to phone me in Monday and if I haven't passed the pregnancy I'll go in for management. I think I'll go with the medication. It was quite obvious when I passed the pregnancy so I'm hoping I get the same.

It's hard to know what to do for the best.

I'm being referred to the reoccurring miscarriage clinic, as I'm over 35 they will accept referrals after just 2 miscarriages. They said they won't do any testing until 12 weeks after a miscarriage. Does anyone if this is standard or if we could get the tests earlier elsewhere? I assume it's to allow you to return to normal post miscarriage. I'm feeling the pressure of time. It took 8 months to start TTC because I was on meds unsuitable in pregnancy and now had 2 miscarriages this year.
I would like testing for aps as my dad possibly has it, not currently diagnosed but has been previously and my thyroid levels as I was on lithium for 2 years and that can cause issues with your thyroid. Depending on the cost I would consider going private if it saved on time.

Does anyone have experience of medical management for a miscarriage that didn't fully work? I bled a lot so thought it would be fine but it's two weeks later and I'm still spotting and cramping. Also still strong positive on a pregnancy test. Back in hospital tomorrow and just wondering what to expect?