TTC after loss part 6

@Blueskies4 currently in hospital waiting for the surgery. I am last on the list so not going down until the afternoon which isnt doing well for my ADHD as my anxiety is through the roof 😬 I have to keep reminding myself I am doing this surgery to help me get pregnant but I am tempted to bolt it out of the door

@Toppstileslover so sorry to read of your MC and hear you’ve had a tough time with the MVA. I lost my first pregnancy as it was a blighted ovum, and was told to rest for 3 months after the D&C, but conceived after that and had a healthy DC. Hope this gives some reassurance. Glad your D&C went well x

@Mummysparrow I hope your surgery went well?

@Joleyjojo I’m so sorry to hear you’ve had an awful time. It’s so much to process and rough on your body too.

Like others I’d recommend the book it starts with the egg? I’ve been following the guidance from this (initially on my own, but been seeing fertility acupuncturists for the last year or so and they follow the principles) and hoping it will make the difference for me. I lost my last pregnancy to triploidy. Also there’s a fertility Accupuncturist called Hannah pern who has a podcast “don’t tell me to felax” and that has tonnes of amazing advice and experts on to help with next steps x

@Melusina123 if it helps, my nutritionist recommended coq10, and she focuses very much on research/efficacy of anything she recommends . It’s also one of the key recommendations in it starts with the egg x

@SnakebitesandSambucas gentle congratulations. I’m the same as you and convinced (all being well at the dating scan) the supplements/vitamins have made the difference, alongside dietary changes. Agree on the PtSD, it’s such a traumatic thing to go through.

bit of a bumper catchup from me!!

I've never tracked ovulation. We haven't been waiting for my period though just when we feel like it rather than targeting ovulation.
I can't bring myself to do a test. If it's positive I'd rather not know at the moment so staying in limbo for now. I don't want to step back on to the monitoring lack of growth by scans loop just yet.

@DaringlyDizzy I can only imagine that's very hard to deal with and not surprised it's messing with your head. Would you speak to someone about it? I've been getting therapy for the last two years and it definitely helps. I found someone who deals with fertility issues but also other stuff as well.

@Bellabubble I also feel that way! I'm overwhelmed with fear that I won't get pregnant and fear that I will. Makes me feel completely daft!!

@Superscientist the wait for a period is hard - you get stuck in limbo don’t you! I ended up with a 72day cycle post my MVA in Oct, but I think that it was a mixture of it bejng my 3rd loss and also being 40. Almost like it made recovery harder if that makes sense? I really hope yours comes soon 🤞🏻 Did you try to catch your ovulation this time round or did you decide to wait I cycle? X

@Bellabubble I'm day 47 since my miscarriage and I would give anything right now for my period or pregnancy sickness! Sickness has started around week 5 with each pregnancy.

@DaringlyDizzy I'm sorry for your losses. The last one sounds scary, have you been able to debrief with anyone, would it help to talk to someone about your experience? In my early 20s I went into anaphylaxis twice in 6 months. The second time it was a 999 call at work with me barely conscious on the floor with my face swelled up and unable to open my eyes. It took time to get over it. Thankfully I had been able to get meds into myself before my consciousness started to reduce so I didn't need to go into hospital as the on site Dr could look after me. Talking through it even just to myself helped

@Beanie14 AF arrived yesterday which I did expect - weirdly I have always just known in my gur when I have been pregnant (probably why I haven’t ever tested early on the times I have been pregnant!) and it’s mixed emotions. I had my MVA back in mid -October, but only got my period back end of Dec, so I think if I had gotten a positive this month, I’d have just had months of anxiety and uncertainty if that makes sense? I’m at least pleased that my cycle is it’s regular length, and hopefully it won’t be too much longer before we fall again.

@DaringlyDizzy that sounds really traumatic! I get what you mean about the wanting a positive but almost not at the same time. I was the same this time round - and I was explaining to my friends last week - even if I get a positive, it almost nothing to me until I get to 12 weeks, then a teeny bit of anxiety is gone (but only a small amount) and this continues pretty much until labour! Losses rob you of the joy of pregnancy. I know people who haven’t had losses can still hate it, be anxious etc - but I feel like it is different when you have experienced loss.

Mix of emotions today.
Ovulating today/yesterday so DTD one last time and just have a gut feeling this is the month. Then utter panic it wont be and almost... angry that it might work? Like deep down i think another loss is all that i have waiting and im almost too scared to see the much-sought double lines

I think whats making it worse is that not only is this my 5th loss, but it was the most dramatic and frightening. The heamorrghing, losing couniousness, the blue lights to hospital and everyone waiting for us to arrive whilst i was in and out. Because of the semi-conciousness everything is in pieces and my memory is all splintered. Really messing with my head

@Beanie14 I don't believe in it any more either. I basically feel like I'm continuing on so I can tell my future self and my son I did all I could. It's breaking my brain though!

Hi I was reading this thread right from the beginning and finally got the courage to post. I used coq 10 myisontol. 37 now and was just on my way to give up. But I got my positive still very terrified. I made a new email address as a form of self protection in case stuff goes wrong. PTSD is an understatement!

@TrulyMiss i get it! I find myself getting so upset and even angry when others announce a pregnancy which has seemingly been easy or so soon after the last one.
Myself and my partner have had testing and there’s nothing wrong I just don’t get it. It came so easy the first time. We’re now looking at a 4 year age gap if we get pregnant.
My partner keeps telling me it will happen, but I’ve honestly gotten to the point where I just don’t believe it.

@Bellabubble its strange I’ve found that if I’m negative at 10/11 dpo then I know AF will arrive. I really hope AF stays away for you. It is an emotional rollercoaster, people say just don’t stress about it and it’ll happen. But how can you not think about it’s when you have such a short window in the month to time it right.

@TrulyMiss oh gosh - I’m so sorry - that’s really tough :( so many feelings to grapple with for you

Of course my sister is now 6 weeks pregnant with her second. With the age gap I wanted when I started all this again 2.5 years ago. Feeling all the feelings!!

@Beanie14 I’m currently 11dpo - not sure how I feel. I have had some crampy twinges, but I’m also trying not to symptom spot! I did a test this morning (itnwas negativE) - but I have no idea why as I have never gotten a positive before 12dpo (4 pregnancies - one full term) - the whole ttc journey is huge emotional rollercoaster. I’m sorry AF arrived - it sucks so much!

AF arrived, I’m so fed up!

Thanks for the support and sharing amazing stories everyone. I have been so emotional since the failed MVA on Friday, had my D&C under GA today and already feel a huge amount of closure. Praying less emo from tomorrow too! Know to do this more quickly as it’s the right option for me, if there is a next time.

Will wait for my cycle to return now in good time - sending so much baby dust to everyone for this month ✨✨✨

I’m CD9 and feeling pretty rubbish. Not sure if I’ve got a bug or if it’s just January! I feel really run down and tired. I started some extra supplements earlier this month to try and give me a bit of a boost. I do hate this time of year. I have awful cramps today though which I assume isn’t cycle related as not much going on but not very nice all the same.

Good luck with anyone still holding out hope for January…officially the longest month of the year, or at least it feels like it!

@Joleyjojo Hey, I remember you from the Due March thread, sorry to hear it didn't work out. 😔

@Superscientist that's really useful intel! I worry about the quality of the science behind some of these supplements but I did crack and add ubiquinol/ Co- Q10 after last MC. Just waiting to see if it makes a difference... Also that does really sound like there might be something familial going on! Fx RMC is useful.

Sorry to see some new faces (wish you didn't have to be here!) but you're very welcome of course.

Had a follicle scan on Monday to see how the clomid is working and long story short it isn't this month. I have a persistent follicle from last month - had never heard of this but seems when I thought I was ovulating last month the follicle never ruptured and now it's just sitting there emitting estrogen and keeping my system in limbo. It will rupture and then I'll get a period at some point, hopefully in the next week but potentially not for months...

I find the constant set backs and moving golf posts so challenging mentally. Really not sure how long I can continue but this is the last time I'm putting myself through this so feel a lot of pressure to continue

Hi everyone, been off the chat for a while. I haven’t managed to read back over the chat just yet, just hoping you’re all well.

I’m 12 dpo today, haven’t tested, af due in 2 days anyway. I’ve been feeling unwell last 2 days, completely off food/drinks, feeling nauseous. Telling myself not to symptom spot though. We only managed to DTD once during my fertile window this month, thanks to a sick toddler. So I’m not getting my hopes up. But otherwise not sure what’s up and why I feel so ill.

where is everyone else in their cycle currently ?

@Joleyjojo yes there are supplements and dietary changes that are meant to improve egg quality. I can't remember them so I'd have to look through my notes. I'm also not all the way through the book. I have it starts with the egg and the associated recipe book. It's an interesting read and she takes it back to the science which I like but I know isn't for everyone

B vitamins, folic acid, thyroid function are some that spring to mind. There was something in fish and eggs which is helpful I think it was choline which often isn't in supplements which is why I've added them back into my diet. The rest of my diet was already fairly close low in red meat, fresh fruit and veg, Mediterranean like diet.
CoQA was mentioned, you can get this in your diet as well as supplements.

I have my appointment at the reoccurring miscarriage clinic in March. My concern is my thyroid function as I was on medication until April last year that impacts thyroid function.
Between me and my sisters we are 2 from 7 - 1 ectopic, at least 2 never got past 6 weeks. I think the other 2 probably didn't either at maternal ages between 19 and 36. I don't know if we just have bad luck or there's something linking the losses.

So my wisdom teeth were exactly why I didn’t think I needed a GA! I was absolutely fine (and they were tricky). I think a D&C is a bit more personal. Ironically I got my smear reminder today - absolutely no chance for a while after Friday’s horror show. I hadn’t cried but started crying during the procedure and haven’t stopped since 😂 poor hubby.

I took Coq10 (got it in the US so hoping it’s triple strength 😂) and I’m going to carry on taking folic acid (when I wean myself off pop tarts after Wednesday aged 37.5). I was being incredibly good with leafy veg. You can have poor egg quality at 25 so I never know how much difference it makes but we give it a go! Next Monday is the day. My bone broth looks very unloved (usually am health freak and gut obsessed)

Is there anything we can take vitamins etc to help? I don’t seem to have a problem getting a positive test it’s keeping holding of them. The MMC was confirmed Edwards which is chromosomal. Apart from IVF with chromosomal testing I don’t know the solution xxx

From what I have been reading. Early losses can be due to chromosomal abnormalities which relates to egg quality. During maturation it goes through changes to get down to 1 copy of the chromosomes, this is energy demanding process and for lots of reasons this can go wrong and too many or two few chromosomes are in the resulting egg. If these get fertilised they won't necessarily develop properly and can be lost before implantation without realising it was ever fertilised or it doesn't develop properly during those early weeks.

@Toppstileslover I was apprehensive about my D&C - I hate being put under - but the procedure was so quick and I took comfort from the fact that you are’t under for long! My wisdom teeth (many moons ago) was over an hour and when I came round I cried and cried lol - for no reason!

@Joleyjojo I’m so sorry - it is so tough having so many losses! I have been taking coq10 which is meant to help egg quality (I’m due to be 41 soon)