Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Is 40 too old for a first time dad?

62 replies

tabascoo · 07/10/2024 14:12

DP turned 40 last month, certainly doesn’t look or act it 😂

I’m 33, I have endometriosis and I had my AMH tested 2 years ago which was normal. Originally neither of us wanted children when we met 8 years ago. During lockdown 1 I had this awful broodiness, which is still present but much less intense.

i did get pregnant accidentally 2 years ago which sadly ended in miscarriage. I was hospitalised for a few days with an infection and it was awful. I wasn’t able to talk about it until this year when I started therapy. DP was shocked at the time but happy 🙁

We haven’t talked about really trying again since and I’m wondering if it’s too late?

My dad was an ‘older’ dad at 32/35 when me and my brother were born which was quite unusual amongst my friends at the time. My mum was early 20’s. His parents were both in their 20s when he and his siblings were babies. I have a big family as my mum is the youngest of 5, but none of my cousins have children (they’re all older than me!)

Sorry a lot of waffle. We earn a decentish wage between us (90k before tax combined). We rent a lovely house in a small town we both love. We have a wonderful 2yr old rescue dog, we’ve had her since she was 4 months old. We’re planning to buy a house next year, just waiting a little longer to maximise our LISA bonuses. We have savings separate to our house deposit. Financially everything looks good.

We have a very comfortable life. I just can’t help this niggling feeling that he might regret having a teenager in his 50s. We live about an hour from family so it would just be us two.

OP posts:
NeverTooEarlyForChocolate · 07/10/2024 14:30

40s is normal for a man to become a dad these days, isn’t it? I’m in my 40s and know lots of men that became dads for the first time in their 40s.

StevieNic · 07/10/2024 14:29

Not at all. My partner was 41. He has said he doesn’t want another but that’s more to do with his health (bad knees and kidney disease) than being 43.

Original poster
tabascoo · 07/10/2024 14:27

Thank you everyone!

Feels a bit silly since I’ve written it down. He is very active and takes the dog up mountains most weekend. It’s probably me that will struggle running after a kid because I have stage 3-4 endometriosis 😂

I’m CD12 and we’ve been having unprotected sex so there’s a possibility!

OP posts:
tarheelbaby · 07/10/2024 14:26

I was 35 and DH was nearly 41 when DD1 was born and and we went on to have DD2 a few years later.

People have children when the time is right.

We have some friends whose DD was born when he was 50 and he did say he only wanted one. Coincidentally, it was a tough pregnancy and she was not able to have any more.

Swanbeauty · 07/10/2024 14:25

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request.

Original poster
tabascoo · 07/10/2024 14:23

Ozanj · 07/10/2024 14:16

Is this serious? Of course it’s not too old and to even suggest that in the Conception thread where there at women older than your dh ttc is offensive imo.

Yes a serious post. Probably should have posted somewhere different for opinions.

I come from an area where everyone I knew had children very young! My dad always complained about being too old in his 40s and tbh it’s a very difficult mindset to shake when you’ve grown up around it.

I know really he isn’t too old, it’s much more socially acceptable have children at any age these days but I just can’t shake this anxiety.

OP posts:
Swanbeauty · 07/10/2024 14:20

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request.

bluebunny1 · 07/10/2024 14:20

No, not too old at all. In my daughter’s class (she is 5), there are plenty of dads in their 50s, even early 60s.

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 07/10/2024 14:16

DH was 42 when we had our son. DS is 10 now and no regrets or issues. He's not even the oldest dad in DS's class!

Ozanj · 07/10/2024 14:16

Is this serious? Of course it’s not too old and to even suggest that in the Conception thread where there at women older than your dh ttc is offensive imo.

Swanbeauty · 07/10/2024 14:16

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request.

Alicana · 07/10/2024 14:16

40 was about the average age of the mother in my NCT class. If he feels he’s unfit and doesn’t want to run around after a child, then I think you’ll have to chat with him about it as we can’t really speak for your husband!