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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

I feel like I'm getting left behind

30 replies

Firsttime2023 · 02/10/2024 18:49

Hi all,

I guess I just want to rant/vent....
I've been ttc for a year now and nothing. I've had fertility tests which have so far been normal, my partner is having tests this week and then I can hopefully be referred for further tests.

I'm 38 and getting really disheartened now, as I know age isn't on my side. I've just found out someone close to me is having twins, and obviously I'm so happy for her but it hit me hard as I'd literally just had another bfn 😢

I feel like everywhere I look, friends families are all having children, starting their families and then there's me. It's completely irrational and self centred I know 😂 probably my hormones as AF is obviously about to start. But it's just so hard sometimes 😞

Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with this? I feel like giving up

OP posts:
MrBigsCat · 03/10/2024 18:45

18 months here and I’m 39- can I just ask how did you know about the egg reserve? My gp just did my day 21 bloods which all looked ok

hope to see all our bfps soon 🤞🏻

PoppyPeaches · 03/10/2024 18:15

I couldn’t read and run! I’m in a similar situation - I’m 35 and on cycle 10 TTC, and not even a hint of a bfp in that time! I’m really really struggling mentally with this, I know I’m a bit older than most people trying to conceive their first, but my Mum had me at 36 and my brother at 38, conceived us both within 2 months, and I’m fit and and healthy, cycles like clockwork etc etc. I’ve been to the GP to get the ball rolling but they were pretty dismissive, and said it can take 2 years!!!! I can’t wait two bloody years 🤣🤣 as I was hoping to have 2 babies!!! It never even crossed my mind I would have a problem (I know that’s really naive now in hindsight), and I am genuinely devastated each month AF arrives.
I don’t have have tips as to what to do apart from keep going, but I just wanted to say you’re not alone, and the heartbreak is real! 😓 take care and best of luck with everything xxx

CatmumTTC · 03/10/2024 08:54

Yes it sucks. It's been 18 months for us, 1 MC in that time. So many friends at work are getting pregnant at the moment, I want to be pleased for them but it's just a reminder of what we don't have. The hardest part is the isolation, colleagues don't know what's going on and my job can be stressful, friends only have a bit of the info because I've found it hard to share when they don't have issues themselves... I feel like there's a big difficult part of my life that I'm not able to share and it's isolating. I'm only 34 so hopefully time is on our side. I had visions of a big family but if it's this hard each time I'm not sure I can put myself through that.
I have found online communities and the BFN podcast helpful though, to feel less isolated by it all.

Original poster
Firsttime2023 · 03/10/2024 07:36

@Rain11 oh I'm sorry you feel like this too! Hopefully the blood tests will put your mind at rest. I had some done a few months back and they all came back normal, so at least I know I do ovulate and I have a good egg reserve!

I'm like you, I'm healthy, exercise, never smoked etc and my partner is the same!

I find the week before my period is due the most stressful. That's probably why I'm so late this month as I've stressed myself out testing so much! I don't normally do that tbf I normally just wait for AF to arrive. I just really felt different about it this month like it had happened 😢

I'm sure it will happen for us 🤞🏼

OP posts:
Rain11 · 02/10/2024 21:58

Hello, I totally get what you mean. I turned 39 in June, I've been trying since February... no luck so far. I went to my gp a couple of weeks ago, and I'm getting blood tests next week. A few of my friends got pregnant within the first 3/6 months of trying. I think that what you are feeling is completely normal. To be honest, I never thought it would be so difficult to get pregnant. I'm aware I'm not young anymore, but I'm healthy, I have a healthy weight, regular periods, no fertility problems in my family history, I exercise, I've never smoked... I don't understand why it isn't happening for us. As the months go by, I feel more and more frustrated. I'm angry, I'm sad, and I feel powerless as my vision of my future family seems to disappear right in front of my eyes.

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