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Conception

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Does overthinking / stressing about TTC really affect your chances?

31 replies

HopefulSS · 09/09/2024 17:49

Exactly as the title says, anyone got any advice?

I try to not stress or obsess but I want it so bad it's all I think about most the time and I get upset thinking about AF coming.

Anyone else?

OP posts:
HopefulSS · 09/09/2024 18:48

WoopsLiza · 09/09/2024 18:04

And by the way, good luck! I hope you get the outcome you want. You will be as good a parent as any of us are and no one deserves it any more than you do. I hope its everything you want and hope you know, deep down in your bones, you have done everything possible

You are so lovely. I really needed to hear this today! I've cried so much as I tested negative this morning at 9dpo. Stupidly tested too early this month. You are so kind 💕

OP posts:
HopefulSS · 09/09/2024 18:47

WoopsLiza · 09/09/2024 18:01

I don't have experience in this exact thing. But OP I think it is bollocks. I think people certainly do experience the fact of getting pregnant once they had almost given up and after a period of really trying. But believing it was the not trying that was the key is a kind of retrospective explanation for a situation the person had no control over.

I think being unable to take defifinitive and clear steps that guarantee a particular outcome is really hard and many of us play little games with ourselves about trying to retake that control. I know I am waaaaaaaay more superstitious if I am stressed. Its completely natural to try to find ways to get in control in something that has big stakes for you personally. But I think if you find yourself stressing about this stuff remind yourself that these thoughts are mainly telling you how important all this is to you.

Your thoughts do not create reality. Reality is out their and your thoughts about it make it at times more, and at times less painful. But they don't manifest themselves in a direct way. They may change your actions but they can nit make your pregnant or not because being pregnant or not is not fully within our control.

Thanks so much for this!! X

OP posts:
Ivfnoclue · 09/09/2024 18:25

Absolutely not! I went through multiple rounds of fertility treatment (IUI and IVF) and one thing my doctor always said that a positive or negative attitude does not have any effect on the outcome.

What I will say is that ttc can become overwhelming and it’s very very easy for it to become the focus point of every aspect of your life. When we were in the throes of it, we went to fertility counselling and the counsellor advised us to to aside 15 mins every 3 days or so where we would sit down and talk about it and bring up anything on our minds. It really helped us a lot as our daily conversations didn’t revolve around ttc.

Ihaveneedofwaternear · 09/09/2024 18:13

Absolutely not. I was stressed out my mind when I had both my kids, after multiple miscarriages. Just as stressed as the pregnancies that failed and high level of stress throughout. I think it's just something people say to feel like they have some control over something very difficult and upsetting.

WoopsLiza · 09/09/2024 18:04

And by the way, good luck! I hope you get the outcome you want. You will be as good a parent as any of us are and no one deserves it any more than you do. I hope its everything you want and hope you know, deep down in your bones, you have done everything possible

WoopsLiza · 09/09/2024 18:01

I don't have experience in this exact thing. But OP I think it is bollocks. I think people certainly do experience the fact of getting pregnant once they had almost given up and after a period of really trying. But believing it was the not trying that was the key is a kind of retrospective explanation for a situation the person had no control over.

I think being unable to take defifinitive and clear steps that guarantee a particular outcome is really hard and many of us play little games with ourselves about trying to retake that control. I know I am waaaaaaaay more superstitious if I am stressed. Its completely natural to try to find ways to get in control in something that has big stakes for you personally. But I think if you find yourself stressing about this stuff remind yourself that these thoughts are mainly telling you how important all this is to you.

Your thoughts do not create reality. Reality is out their and your thoughts about it make it at times more, and at times less painful. But they don't manifest themselves in a direct way. They may change your actions but they can nit make your pregnant or not because being pregnant or not is not fully within our control.