Traumatised from neonatal deaths. Pregnant again.

You are one strong lady, OP, I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boys.

It is completely understandable to be nervous this time round andsecond guessing everything but hopefully all will be absolutely fine at the scan and you'll go on to have a very healthy and happy pregnancy.

Best of luck OP

I’m so sorry for the loss of your two boys 💙 Gentle congratulations on your new pregnancy.

I lost my first son at 3 days old in 2022. It was sudden and shocking. I then fell pregnant 3 months after losing him and will say pregnancy after loss was so difficult. I was riddled with anxiety every single day. Cramping from early pregnancy is completely normal but I know you will over analyse every single sensation, feeling and worry throughout this time. It is like holding your breath for 9 months. Go for as many reassurance scans as you need, go in to triage as many times as you need (I was going in weekly from around 16 weeks). It’s the 2nd hardest thing I have ever been through, but you can do this, I promise. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy ❤️

I, too, remember your posts around the time that you lost your precious boys. Really hoping for you that this pregnancy goes well and gives you your beautiful rainbow baby.

I remember you from last year and you were in my thoughts I was also pregnant then. I hope everything goes well and wishing you the best. I also had cramps in both my pregnancies around those weeks. My second pregnancy I didn't have nausea until 8 weeks whereas my first I knew I was pregnant at 4 weeks before even testing as I had full on nausea and later hg so I can say each pregnancy is truly different x

Just wanted to say a gentle congratulations. I remember your previous posts about losing your boys

I totally understand how anxious you must be. My first dd died when she was a baby and my subsequent pregnancies were very stressful and I couldn’t imagine a happy outcome.

I don’t know how it works in Ireland, but I was under the peri natal mental health team and had a dedicated midwife who was very responsive over text. I also had a fantastic consultant who I saw weekly due to lots of different issues. You should definitely have both of these too.

I didn't want to read and move on. So sorry to hear about your two little boys, I can't even imagine the pain and loss. Sending you lots of positive vibes and prayers for this pregnancy. When you have your appointment on Thursday, you should ask about perinatal mental health support- I know Limerick has a good service so it may be elsewhere too. Keeping everything crossed for you. Take care.

@Ella31 I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beautiful boys.
I wonder does your maternity hospital have a bereavement midwife ? I know they linked me in with one when I experienced a loss.

One thing that is hard is remembering them when everyone else seems to have moved on. I still think of them now and then. Cherubs.

I'm so sorry. Its very normal to feel way, I was very anxious too after 2 losses but went on to have a successful birth and lovely DC, so it is possible. fingers crossed for you.

OP I am so sorry for the losses of your little boys.

I'm not sure where in Ireland you are but if there's a Tommys clinic I cannot recommend them enough for support with pregnancy after loss. If you are able to access support with them, they don't just offer emotional support but I had a consultant who would check me through my pregnancy after a late pregnancy loss throughout my pregnancy alongside my usual scans.

Wishing you all the very best xx

@Ella31 I have seen your previous posts over the last several months, and am so sorry for the loss of your boys. I really hope you are able to arrange an urgent scan, and that you can be assured everything is fine x

Hi OP,

Firstly, a gentle congratulations on your pregnancy.

I can't claim to know exactly how you feel as I lost my first pregnancy (a little girl) last Christmas at 20 weeks whereas it sounds like your babies where much further along. However your comments about the ultrasound resonated with me.

I'm current 7 weeks +3 with our pregnancy after that loss. I wanted to have an early reassurance scan to make sure things that started off as they should have. My MC was a missed one so there's that terror of something not being right and me walkint round oblivious again. We contacted a private scanning clinic local to us. I was very nervous before the scan due to thinking about the last time we had one but they helped loads by getting on with the scan quickly once I was in the room, kept the screen off until she was sure that it was good news and told me as soon as she located a healthy heartbeat. I was worried time was going to drag until she said anything as that was the most nerve wrecking part but within 30 seconds she confirmed that everything looked good and turned the screens on.

It's always going to be a worrying time but I'm really glad we went for that scan and it's helped me start to visualise that this pregnancy will hopefully go the way we want whereas before the scan I had my barriers up and had convinced myself it would be bad news.

Hope your scan goes well and brings some reassurance. Its going to be a long journey but different pregnancy- different outcome.

I’m sorry. It’s all so unfair.

I had cramps early in my pregnancies as well. So that alone really doesn’t signify anything.

In my experience you should be able to have your notes marked to show what you have been through, in the hope anyone dealing with you is tactful and understanding.

Your midwife should be able to refer you for perinatal MH and support (it might be run at your hospital or elsewhere) and you should be able to jump any waiting lists for counselling or CBT etc. As you will be high risk, you should be able to choose a consultant to be under and see them much more frequently than a so-called normal pregnancy - I was scanned at least every fortnight but often several times a week. There are other ways to provide reassurance that can be offered and you need to find out what ones work for you eg I had daily monitoring but some people find that causes anxiety.

It’s a difficult time ahead, so be as proactive as you can about getting help. Do you have any other support that is local to you? I found the charity SANDS had some meet ups for those who were pregnant again. Sometimes as well meaning as the health care professionals are, you really benefit from someone who has been through similar and gets it.

I am so very very sorry about your precious boys 💔 I can't even imagine the grief you feel. I have everything crossed for you in your current pregnancy. 💐

@Ella31
Just reading and didn't want to read and ignore. Just want to give you a virtual hug. I'm a loss mum too. My first born was stillborn at 39weeks worst time of our lives. Sending you love and strength. Hope scan goes well 🫂

@Ella31 I did/do have cramps too. In fact as early as 4+2 my whole body felt like I'd been hit by a bus for a few days, aching all over. Then had mild period style cramp on and off throughout and actually had it the other night as well. A good thing for us I suppose, as everything is moving! xxx

@Ella31 !!! I'm so so pleased for your pregnancy after being on other ttc threads with you and reading your story. It's completely understandable why you feel so nervous, but of course it won't help. In case reassuring I'm now pregnant (14w) and had cramps at the same time as you - completely normal as things move. All sounds like good signs to me. Hope you take good care of yourself, wishing you the very best for your pregnancy xxxx

Hi there.
I'm so sorry that your first babies died.

I'm not surprised you're anxious. But cramps in early pregnancy are normal. Also, you'll feel less sick anyway because you've likely only got one baby in there.

I hope the scan goes well. I'll keep you in my thoughts.