Long time trying club

@Stillwinston sorry for the result, but also glad you got some answers if that makes sense! Hopefully you don't have to wait too long for the additional tests. How are you feeling now the news is settling in?

I'm just coming off my period, onto my 4th cycle since my most recent miscarriage. I'm feeling pretty anxious and deflated. Even the nurse at my HSG said they are always hopeful for people in the months following the procedure as it seems to solve the issue for a lot of women. This will be month 3 since, just doesn't feel like it's going to happen. I'm also doing some really deep soul searching around IVF. I am getting close to confirmation that I just don't want to go through it, especially if no cause is determined for my losses as I'd be too afraid of another loss as I have no proof it won't happen again. Which I think I can deal with if I conceive naturally but not after doing IVF.

So yeah, feels like a big crunch time currently. This month we should also get our genetic blood test results back which will tell us if either of us is a carrier of any issues causing the losses. It's unlikely to be the case, but at least it's another test ticked off.

Feeling particularly jealous currently of those who have an easy ride to parenthood. As if being a parent isn't hard enough without having to go through all this first just to even get there!

@Stillwinston I'm sorry to hear this but also glad for you that you have answers and something can be done. Have they given you an idea of how long to wait until the next steps now?
How do you feel about things now knowing this?

Still no bfp for me, I have had lots of tests now and everything has cane back good and I am definitely ovulating every month, so no clue why things haven't happened but we have decided we are going to have a cut off where we stop trying (maybe 6 months).

until then we are doing the relaxed thing bunoproperly not trying for the first time ever, I mean not just stopping opks and bbt, also not tracking when my period is or using apps or anything, so although I could figure it out if I needed to, I have no idea what cd I am on exactly and that's how I am going to do it each month from now, it feels good so far and hoping it really pays off in the 2 weeks before af where I would normally be up to high dough analysing what dpo and what imaginary symptoms I have. Lol.

How is everyone else doing? x

It's great you have a answer yes! Unexplained infertility is such a mindfk. Your partner could have a Varicocele or Antibodies attacking his sperm, you will sort this issue out don't worry xx

Nah, I couldn't cope without OPKs, as this month has shown. AF arrived yesterday which I think meant that the getting slightly darker OPK was actually getting slightly lighter (but I'd missed the peak). Frustrating as that meant that we ended up only having DTD fully on ov day, which of course didn't result in anything.

Congratulations @Allswellthatendswelll! That is wonderful news. Hoping all is well for you.

I have been doing acupuncture, @Stillwinston, and I’m generally into all things woo but I’m a bit skeptical. It’s a Chinese dr who doesn’t speak English and a young guy who translates which I find uncomfortable - I’ve no idea whether it’s helping and I find it all a bit weird. This week they gave me herbs to make my cycle a bit longer (it’s now usually about 25 days). I haven’t started them, I’m not sure why, I’m just not convinced, and also a bit anxious as ever that what if in the unlikely event I am pregnant this cycle, would it be a good idea? It’s hard to really ask questions like this with the language barrier and when I have they just say it’s all fine, but I’m not reassured!

@takeabeat would you consider donor eggs? A friend of mine is 41 and decided to go down that route and it seems to have much better odds. I realise its not for everyone.

I worked up the courage to do a test and it was positive today. Cannot believe it! Our first sperm test was 1.8 million our second 5 million 2% morphology.

It's such early days and I've miscarried before my first child but just the fact there is enough sperm to work has given me such hope. We had a consultation to start the ICSI process booked.

Things we did differently are DH is losing weight and on Proxeed and no caffeine or alcohol. We also only tried every other day and I used one of those fertility cups to keep the sperm in.

@Stillwinston That makes sense, having a plan on place makes things easier. I just decided to give in and test because I was feeling a little hopeful, and it was a bfn. So just waiting on af then onto cycle 14.

It's a herbal supplement I was taking before when I had success, it's also called agnus cactus, not sure if it will help anything but feeling I am doing something is good x

Hi OP, hope it’s okay for me to comment as I’m not currently trying for baby #2 yet (although this thread has massively opened my eyes on secondary infertility!). My best friend is currently having ICSI with a company “ABC Fertility” I think it is, and it was miles cheaper than £15k! The one she is at is in Sheffield but they have clinics all over the country so it’s worth looking to see if they have one either local to you or within a commutable distance because when you’re looking at £15k, her package is just over £5k so even if you picked one commutable it would probably be cheaper to pay trains etc! X

@Stillwinston exactly, you are right, the feeling of being unable to do anything to fix it is frustrating. I will try to loose a few pounds and I restarted vitex so maybe those changes will help between this cycle and next
I am so sorry about your period arriving, it's just awful isn't it. How are you feeling? Hoping this fresh new cycle brings good news for you xx

@Stillwinston sorry to hear that, hope you get some answers soon and can get started on the next stage of your journey

Have you tried ovulation test strips and do you really know your cycle inside out…i would try that and also diet, supplements (particularly for Mr) as could change your chances. Havent read the full thread so apologies if discussed later. Lots of luck x

Hi @Stillwinston yes I have had all of the tests for recurrent miscarriage and then more recently the hormone tests (progesterone, estrogen etc) everything looks good... which is good but also frustrating as there is nothing to change if you know what I mean.
I was reading your post about fertility treatment, it's a crazy price of £15,000 I had no idea. x

That was lovely @MudandMoet so pleased you has a great outcome x

@Stillwinston @takeabeat 🫶🏻 thank you so much .... Your time will come xx

Aw congrats @MudandMoet that's just wonderful news. Thank you for sharing. Infertility can feel so lonely and desperate especially when others seem to fall pregnant without even trying. It's so nice to have that solidarity. Sending you and your little one all love and health x

Hi @Stillwinston (I remember you from
Forums I've been on in the past) and other ladies

Absolutely sobbing reading this thread as it takes me back to that shitty place where you're all at now. My heart goes out to all of you. I basically just couldn't leave without saying please don't give up. It took us just over 3 years, I'm 44.5 now. We had just given up and decided we couldn't take any more (September 23) . Roll on to Christmas Eve, I felt a bit off it, did a test and was pregnant....without the OPK's and the timing and temperature taking etc... I'm due to give birth next week. I would just urge anyone to not give up hope.

Sending a shit tonne of baby dust, positive vibes and energy and all the best TTC wishes in the world to you all.