TTC after loss part 5

I'm sorry for your losses @LP2020 you have had an awful time I hope things improve for you x

Can I have a moan? I've just had an appointment with my consultant psychiatrist (I'm bipolar). She's new with the team and the last time I had an appointment I was 8 weeks pregnant. She brought this up and asked how pregnant I was now. I said I wasn't I miscarried. I would be 5 months pregnant and she said something along the lines of I had guessed you had as you don't look pregnant. Surely that's not the most empathetic way of enquiring about pregnancy in someone that you think has miscarried. It's pissed me off.

@DaringlyDizzy I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I feel similarly about not wanting to keep trying but still wanting a baby. It really sucks. Sending all the love and hugs xx

@LP2020 I'm so sorry for your loss, that must have been devastating and worse to have an ongoing saga after. I'm also cycle 5 TTC again since my most recent loss in May. Xx

Hope everyone is feeling okay today. Baby loss is so hard and gruelling and the grief never truly leaves, you just get better at living alongside it. It means there was and will always be so much love and that won't ever leave ❤️

I have been following along with this thread for a while now and feel now is the time to jump on and join you all on the most nerve-wracking, emotional, hormone-fuelled journey. I'm currently on cycle 5, ttc again after a heartbreaking TFMR in May. My little girl had T21 along with other abnormalities and she was measuring and weighing much much smaller than she should have been. I had retained poc only discovered in July, 8 weeks after she was born, after having the most intense contraction-type pains at home and feeling this huge mass just fall out of me (sorry tmi). My body is trying to reset, but I still feel a long way off yet. They diagnosed endometritis during an internal scan after rpoc had come away and I was given a 7 day course of antibiotics, which sadly, I don't feel have helped. I'm currently on my cd4 during a period which showed up a whole week early, that has been so heavy and painful and just a shitty reminder of what should have been this month (my little girl's due date) and what will never be 😔

Anyway, I'm sorry for my ramblings. I'm hoping to touch base with the GP and see if they can prescribe some further antibiotics or suggest something to try and settle things down. I have had a full screen of bloods done, which thankfully showed a normal thyroid function again (levels were awful whilst pregnant as had severe hyperemesis and hospitalised more than once) but iron and b12 are low, which I'm taking supplements for now. I just want my body to reset and to try and move forwards and find my way back to some kind of normal, whatever that looks like now.

Sending love and light to you all ❤️

Such a sad numb feeling tonight. The candle was lit earlier but since my hubby went to bed early I just feel very alone. He is having a rough time and I didnt want to mention BLAW or wave of light etc. He grieves still but differently to me and I just havent wanted to highlight it.

Ive gone from being that anal constantly testing, hypervigilant TTCer to someone who hasnt even tried since her last loss in June. Despite desperately desperately wanting a child. I used to read about people who didnt POS and test every parameter and think HOW is that possible? And now im sitting here, miscarriages and ectopics later, with empty arms and a heavy heart and just no desire to try but being so desperate for a child I have to turn away from newborns and get hubby to do the food shop so i dont have to see the baby aisle.

Baby loss is so hard. SO SO hard sometimes. Sending you all so much light and love tonight

Thank you. Time is strange isn’t it. In 4 weeks it will be a year since my first MMC. It doesn’t feel that long ago at all.

@MrsS11 @LP2020 ❤️❤️

Sending lots of love back lovely. It's a year tomorrow since I first found out about the first MMC at my 12 week scan, only feels like last week sometimes.

Time seems to move differently xx

@Mummysparrow I'd carry on testing there until you have a proper period, I had a wee bit of bleeding when I expected my period and was positive a couple of days later (shes 7 now).
I'm feeling mega guilty I forgot it was wave of light tonight. But BLAW and all the socials stuff associated is probably why I'm finding this tww harder
🤍 Baby 5 weeks, 2013
🩷Baby Anna, 19 weeks 3.7.24

My candle is lit for my angels who were too precious for this world.
My teeny little 8 week baby 🤍
My little surprise sweetheart, 18 week baby 🤍
& My much longed for, beautiful little Grace who was born at 17 weeks in May 🕊️🤍🤍🤍

Thinking of you all and so sorry we find ourselves in this most heartbreaking club ❤️

Sending love to you @ThelastRolo20

My candle is lit for my two babies lost at 10 and 12 weeks 🤍🤍

Big hugs to you and everyone lighting candles tonight. I'll be doing so for the two I lost at 12 and 10 weeks that never came to be xx

Sending love @Ella31 xx

@Ella31 sending a huge hug to you. You are so missed on this thread xxx
Hope all is going smoothly for you x

Hugs to you too ❤️

It's so hard isn't it. Sending the biggest hugs xx

I’m sorry, this TTC thing is so hard

That sounds lovely. But I’m so sorry you have 3 to light.
This time last year I had none to light, now I have two

Yep I will be - bought a beautiful set of 3 candles to light for it, wanted something special. First year lighting 3 😓

10dpo and still negative. I keep getting lines eyes staring at the tests 😭
Still bleeding a little and had some cramps this morning. On top of that I am clearly coming down with something as I have a slightly raised temperature 🤒

Yep

I will be x

Anyone lighting a candle tonight for the wave of light as part of baby loss awareness week?

I don't know about dpo but my period is due in 11 days so I'll be joining you on the 2ww. Not sure how optimistic I am as spent 2 key nights squeezed in a toddler bed with my poorly 4yo.