TTC after loss part 5

Thank you @CurlyWurly1991 . I think things will feel easier once I have less reminders. Last week I had 2 appointments to cancel and a trip to the epu. This week it's the scan day and another trip to the epu. Next week I'm hoping will be the first week without reminders.

@CadoAvo have my fingers crossed for you this cycle!

@Superscientist sorry you’re feeling wobbly today. Limbo land is just horrible

I’m getting quite fed up of my constant mood changes. Yesterday I had a good day, managed to not think about TTC too much after my rubbish day on Saturday. Now I’m back to feeling fed up! CD36 and nothing!

@Superscientist just seen your second post… I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope you are OK. It really does take time and please be kind to yourself xx

@Superscientist goodness you really have been through a lot… thank you for your wise words. I think that is great advice and I will have a think.

@CadoAvo hello again 👋 best of luck with this cycle!!

I am feeling a bit wobbly this morning. I should be having my dating scan today. I feel in limbo no longer pregnant but also still waiting to start again. My HCG was 150 on Saturday and they expect it will be normal levels by my next bloods this Saturday then we can start planning what to do next

Bloods today hopefully I get some answers xx

1DPO today 😀

Was initially expecting ovulation on Friday however didn't get an LH rise until Saturday and think ovulation happened yesterday so officially back in the tww 🤞🏼

Hello, I also recognise you from another thread 👋 good luck whatever you decide to do 😊

TTC has always been a difficult decision for me. I have a 50% of severe depression and psychosis due to my bipolar and had a 10 week stay in a mother and baby unit. My daughter has multiple food allergies and severe silent reflux. I get hyperemesis in pregnancy. I had counselling with my HV when we were trying to decide whether to go for a second mostly to process all the crap we went through in the 3 years from conception to my daughter being 2. Friends have compared that time to the series of unfortunate events books. It was one thing after another. We went with the well if we do decide to try again what do we need to do? So I changed my meds that went ok. I started folic acid and that felt ok. I had a month off the lithium but on contraception and felt ok. So I stopped the contraception that felt ok. It wasn't one big decision but lots of smaller ones that I could take on good days. I guess I would say is what one thing could you do this week to test the waters on how you feel about TTC? It can be super tiny.

@Figtree11 definitely! It was hard enough to decide to TTC in the first place given the big age gap, financial etc. If we had a crystal ball it would all be so much easier wouldn’t it…

@moosey89 hello! I remember you too. Thanks for the heads up, I didn’t realise that about the clock resetting… because my periods are so irregular I was wondering about medicated cycles (letrozole etc). The two cycles I got pregnant were regular length cycles and I was on a ton of supplements, herbs etc. I can’t really be arsed with all that. I don’t know whether it’s in me to just ‘not try not prevent’ but I think the TTC sent me a bit loopy last time.

Hi @CurlyWurly1991 I remember you from another thread too, hope you're doing ok this morning. We are in a similar boat with 2 MMCs with surgical management in just under 12 months. This is cycle 3 of trying again. I did have a 3rd MMC back in 2019 with my ex as well.
Whatever you decide it has to be what's right for you both - there's no generic right or wrong when deciding if you keep going or not.
Just a side note on the 12 months thing - the NHS basically resets the clock every time you have a pregnancy, whether it works out or not, so you have to hope you have a sympathetic doctor who still allows you a referral. But it sounds like the recurrent miscarriage clinic would be more what you would need than the fertility clinic?

@CurlyWurly1991 it’s a really hard decision to make. It would be so much easier if we just knew that the next time we try that it would all work out perfectly!

It is always good to be positive and hopeful. Also I find it easier to have no expectations. So if AF arrives, I don't get sad. x

Hello @Figtree11 ah yes I remember you too. I hope you’re doing okay. I feel a bit confused about whether it’s the right thing to try again as we had basically parked the idea. I guess hormones are what is making me want to TTC again. It’s so hard thinking of the babies we lost and not knowing why it didn’t work out. Part of me wonders if we try and then have another miscarriage we would then qualify for further exploration with the nhs, in fact as we have been TTC for a year anyway I guess I might be able to be referred. I actually have GP appt booked in a few weeks to discuss contraception 🤭

Hi @CurlyWurly1991 i recognise your name & story from previous threads I’ve been with you on. Welcome, everyone is so supportive, no matter how you decide what your TTC journey looks like

Meant to say we had been TTC since April 23 - I gave it a year in my head and had then drawn a line under it…

Hi everyone. Tentatively joining as we had stopped TTC after two losses this year at 6 and 8-9 weeks, both MMC and two surgical managements under GA. I’m not sure we will TTC again but have started to wonder now and so here I am. I’m not sure what DH thinks tbh, he is scared of another miscarriage. I’m 38 and he’s almost 47 so we know time is not on our side. We already have a 10 year old. My cycles are irregular. I think I may be mad 😆

Thank you @DonnaWhat , I think I’m just done with getting my hopes up! But you’re, right, we just never know!

It could just be hormones but don't rule yourself out until af comes. And if she does rear her ugly head, it gives you a clean slate for the next cycle.

@DonnaWhat Oh that sounds hopeful! I had some mystery bleeding at 3-4dpo this cycle too. Maybe I’m more concerned about this bleeding because it’s closer to AF. Thank you, and congratulations to you :)

@RoseannesMamma I know what you mean about getting hopes up. My cycles had been all over the place too. Last month my luteal phase was short. I started spotting at 9dpo and then period came at 12 dpo. I thought it was the same this month but statyed spotting at 3 dpo, then 7dpo until a bfp at 10dpo. I have everything crossed for you.

@HerbaceousPerennial it’s really hard when you see your other half with babies. I used to imagine what it would be like to see my DP as a dad. Now as soon as the thought enters my mind I have to push it out straight away as it makes me sad that he doesn’t have that, and sad that i can’t watch him experience being a dad

@EmTTC2 lovely news on the positive. I have everything crossed it progresses well

Thank you @DonnaWhat I am living in limbo land at the moment. Not doing the ovulation tests, so just waiting for either a period or a positive test to appear. Whenever either of those may be! CD35 today

@LucyCL I started Vitamin E this cycle, might need to get some B6. I’m definitely worried about a short luteal phase. I’m just spotting at the moment though (it seemed heavier this morning). I know @DonnaWhat has suggested implantation… it’s bright red and basically the same as I’ve had the last few cycles where I’ve got my hopes up that it was only implantation and then it’s turned into either a CP or just nothing. It’s definitely just spotting at the moment though. I guess it could be but don’t want to get my hopes up!

Also sorry @EmTTC2 that I’ve not offered my congratulations yet. I know you’ve been wary but I’d like to offer gentle congratulations and lots of hope for a sticky baby

@EmTTC2 congratulations! I really hope it sticks for you 💕💕 xx

@RoseannesMamma when you say bleeding, is it proper blood or less spotting? I only ask because I had implantation from 7dpo.