TTC after loss part 5

The problem is my husband uses the excuse he is tired a lot when it comes to sex so knowing I have had my peaks and about to ovulate will give him the push. Preloss we knew when my fertile period was and that reduced the pressure.
The annoying things is that I have pressure at work too so that may not be helping things. I am trying to do stuff to reduce the stress and anxiety though. I wish I knew if some of my vitamins were pushing back ovulation or whether there is a vitamin that I am missing that would help bring things forward

@Mummysparrow pregnancy announcements are so so tough when you're in the trenches of TTC after loss. It's no surprise you're feeling down - we've all been there and it massively sucks. Sometimes life is just utter shit and it's impossible not to compare to other journeys ❤️ all you can do is keep testing - my peak would come and go in a day so I hope it's not too long before you see them darken.

It varies by person of course but would it help to not do OPKs for a bit and just have regular sex? I found the idea of thinking "I could be in the TWW" more hopeful and positive, which helped me. But of course keep testing if that's helping you! Xx

3 months post loss and I am really fed up. 2nd cycle of TTC and currently on cd18 and no sign of ovulation still. I had a rough cycle last cycle with is lasting 38 days and getting a week long LH surge from cd21. I have had blood test done whilst I was in the surge and everything looked ok but something must be going on early month to affect ovulation. Pre loss I got a peak on cd15.
I know things can take awhile to settle down but it's so hard when each cycle is longer than usual.
I need to message on here more often instead of just sulking in the corner feeling upset. It doesn't help that my sister in law has just told me she is 12 weeks pregnant after her loss in march so she managed to get pregnant 3 months after loss and here I am 3 months after loss struggling to get my body to work

@moosey89 oh, baby will be into everything now they are walking 😆😆😆 it's good that the tww falls when you're away, a good distraction from sending you doolally like it did with me. I have everything crossed for a good fertile month for you. I'm doing OK, everything is going as it should 🥰

@Joleyjojo I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you're able to get some rest when you can. A holiday will do you good. Try and drink some fresh orange or pineapple to see if that will help you go to the loo. I'm doing OK so far. Are you going to try again in the future? Xxxx

Thank you. I will leave it 2 weeks and see what the test says. Just not sure how I will feel seeing either result.
I am feeling ok, I haven’t had any bowel movements since Monday surgery Wednesday and I’m feeling so uncomfortable. Apart from that I am trying to just look forward to our holiday on Wednesday.

@DonnaWhat struggling a bit 4days post D&C. I have a last minute holiday to look forward to flying Wednesday so hoping that is going to help a bit.

how are you ? X

@DonnaWhat happy weekend! I'm at my best friend in Wales helping her with her 11 month old as she fractured her neck in a hit and run a couple of weeks ago. He just started walking a few days ago so it's mainly consisting of following him around the house 😂

Aside from that I'm 4 days into a new cycle and have realised that if timing is as it should be, most of the 2ww (the bit where I'd be tempted to test early in particular) would be spent on holiday in Cornwall so I'm keeping everything crossed that's the case as it's the perfect distraction!

How are you doing?

Happy Weekend everyone! How is everyone? How are you all getting on?

@Joleyjojo glad you're recovering.

It took me between 2.5-3 weeks each time to get a negative test. I started ovulation testing that same morning. Xx

I hope you get a relaxing break @Joleyjojo

I was still on antiemetics for 2-3 days after my miscarriage, nausea for another few days. It was probably 2 weeks before I got my appetite back. I got my negative test yesterday after 3 weeks.

We have had sex a couple of times based on how we felt and are waiting for my period to return to be more regular. I've never done any tracking of my cycle though

I'd stay quiet and do what feels right for you. I don't have the sort of relationship with my mum that I would share this sort of thing. The advantage is few opinions on life choices!

@Joleyjojo glad you are physically doing better. A holiday to Corfu sounds lovely, it’s always good to get away & be in different surroundings. The nice sunshine will help too!

Hi everyone I hope your all doing ok.
The physical pain from the D&C is fading and the bleeding is just brown thick discharge (tmi sorry). I feel sad but also relieved it’s over. I still have slight nausea still but hoping that will go over the next few days.
we booked a last minute holiday to corfu leaving on Wednesday no kids just me and my BF for a week. We have had a good chat and want to use this holiday as a reset and to grieve but also be happy together, when we come back we want to try and draw a line under the sadness. I know it’s not as easy as that but I feel we are dwelling in it at moment. I have also decided that I do want to try straight away.
I obviously don’t know when my cycle will regulate and it maybe that we just have sex every few days without tracking, then track after my first period if it comes.
If I change my mind and start using my CB fertility monitor when do you suggest we start? I obviously need to get a negative PG test I assume.
we are under Tommys now but the advice is to carry on TTC.
Because of the 2 in the row my mom has asked me to let my body rest for a short time. I won’t be telling anyone we are TTC which is why this group is so helpful.

sending lots of love
xx

@CadoAvo i’m sorry, that’s so difficult. I’m not sure I could have sat there & listened as I also have a November due date. You were very brave to sit through it

I'm so sorry, that's so tough and you did amazingly to get through it ❤️ it's like a punch to the gut isn't it xx

Still bfn 😢

Was at a funeral all day yesterday. I was there in support of my best friend. Her other friend was there too and I didn't know she was pregnant until i arrived and sat down next to her, she's due 5 days after my would be due date in November. I was very happy for her but later on when we were sitting together someone was asking her all about her pregnancy, and how exciting it will be to have a baby by Christmas etc etc and I just had to keep my brave face on until the conversation passed.

@DonnaWhat thank you. I think perhaps around 2dpo. But I’m really not sure if I have ovulated so will be a waiting game. Yeah we’ve been dtd every 2 days, sometimes 3. We are very sick of it now!

@Ncl31 sorry you are experiencing similar, it sucks. That’s really good news about ovulation induction - is it medication?
I think mine are due to the miscarriages. Most recent one was the partial molar, which happened start of May, and then my HCG didn’t get to 0 until end of July, so all the hormones I think have affected it

@Figtree11 i know only too well how it feels to have long cycles. I have PCOS and often have cycles which are 70-80 days long.
I’ve just had funding approved for ovulation induction for 6 months.
do you know why you have long cycles?

@Figtree11 I hope your cycles start to regulate better for you. How many dpo do you think you are? Did you manage to get some bany dancing in? Xx

@Superscientist i’m pleased you got your negative today. I’ve also felt relief once that happens so you can start to move forward. I hope that it doesn’t take long for your cycles to return.

It feels very quiet on this thread recently, as I guess so many people have had their BFPs now.

6 weeks since my last period now, and feeling a bit low about it all. Think I may have ovulated this week but not sure. Very worried that if I don’t get pregnant & my period comes, then I’ll be waiting another age to ovulate again and I’ll be in October/november before I get the chance to try again

Any update lovely? X

It's hugely personal when enough is enough or when you want to take a step back on actively TTC.

I have a colleague who had secondary infertility and went through IVF and loss and hurt. Soon after her 40th birthday she decided to have a hysterectomy because she wanted to reclaim control and stop the monthly disappointment. There aren't many things in life that hit you with a reminder of what isn't compared to conception. The constant toing and throwing between what could be and what isn't is quite unique. You can wake up feeling like you have won the lottery and go to bed feeling destitute. There is no one right answer. One woman might have lines in her head X miscarriage or Y months without conceiving and I'm done. For another it could be more or less. What feels right one month might not feel right a few months later. We are complicated beings and that's ok.

I got my negative test today. I never thought I would be so pleased to see a negative but it means we can start again. I'm hoping my period comes along soon but I feel ready to start again. I picked up a book from the library the other day. I put it on hold a few weeks ago before the miscarriage. It's a fiction book about a midwife. I probably should have cancelled the hold but I didn't. The opening storyline has been about infertility and I cried through the first chapters in the bath but the characters have just formed a support group. I know it's fiction and not real life but the being there for others when going through turmoil has been uplifting. It can feel so lonely and like you are in a bubble but it's reminding me that together we are strong and by talking we get stronger and you never know what the person sat next to you has experienced.

@moosey89 i’m sorry AF arrived. I hope you have a nice time in Cornwall. Let us know how you get on with your genetic blood test results.

@Joleyjojo i hope you are doing a bit better today and not in as much pain

@CurlyWurly1991 the due dates are so hard, and the emotional recovery takes a lot longer than we first anticipate, I think.

There is as much strength in deciding to stop as there is in deciding to carry on. Neither journey is an easy one to pursue and I have no doubt you'll navigate your chosen way forward with the support of your partner and family ❤️ I'm glad it's brought a level of closure for you x

@Joleyjojo That is awful about waking from the general like that, you are often very disorientated - what a horrible feeling for you. The pain can be unsettling - hope you can get dosed up on paracetamol? I had some weird pains in my bum for weeks after both times but it passed. Take care and rest up xx

Thank you so much and I am so very sorry for your losses. I am home and recovering but definitely in more pain than I was expecting.
I also had a very traumatic time when waking from the general .I had convinced myself I had just had a C section and wanted them to hand me the baby. This lasted around 10 minutes and scared me.
Although I have mentioned about TTC I’m actually not too sure. I really don’t think I could put ourselves through it. A bit of rest and relaxation and get back to feeling normal before making any decisions.

xxxxx