Late miscarriage grief and hope

serasera19 · 2024-07-14T08:36:33+00:00

I lost my beautiful little boy at 20 weeks 3 weeks ago. He was my first baby and I am beyond devastated. I went to see him and held his hand, it breaks my heart every time I picture him. I had on/off bleeding from 13 weeks which must have had something to do with it but I've had a lot of tests and they have all come back 'normal' so far, apart from TSH at 4.45. Also still waiting for PM. My partner has brought me on holiday in a beautiful hotel but I can't stop crying. I suppose I am looking for people who have been through the same and stories of hope. We want to TTC again as soon as I ovulate - I know it's soon but it's the only thing that gives me any comfort. I'm also 35 and terrified of my age and it happening again. Any stories of Hope much appreciated xx

Calliopespa · 14/05/2026 07:35

Vibrant88 · 14/05/2026 07:11

I’m doing ok. Just want the post mortem results back so I can decide if I want to try again or not. As I’m a high risk pregnancy already it’s hard to decide. The grief hits me differently every day. Some days I’m good some days I’m really not. Thanks for checking xx

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Plod on - one day at a time.

And do give yourself some treats while you get through this time of uncertainty.

Either way, you will soon have a plan and can commit to making it the best it can be either way.

Sending strength and best wishes.xx

Vibrant88 · 14/05/2026 07:11

Calliopespa · 11/05/2026 23:52

How are you holding up @Vibrant88 ?

Wishing you the best.

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I’m doing ok. Just want the post mortem results back so I can decide if I want to try again or not. As I’m a high risk pregnancy already it’s hard to decide. The grief hits me differently every day. Some days I’m good some days I’m really not. Thanks for checking xx

Calliopespa · 11/05/2026 23:52

Vibrant88 · 16/04/2026 10:55

@serasera19 thats absolutely stunning news thankyou for your reply. Congratulations to you.
@Calliopespa i certainly won’t be rushing anything I need to get all the reports back first it seems I have a blood clotting disorder that has been coming back through lots of tests so very possible linked to baby boys passing and maybe the early miscarriage of his twin. But all results including PM will likely not be back for 6 months. I will be 38 then any partner 46 so we will see what happens. Either way I feel now what will be will be if I don’t get pregnant again it’s because I’m not supposed to. If I do then fingers crossed baby makes it earth side healthy. My little boy arrives back to the mortuary today and his cremation date should be back to me tomo. I’ve just been through all his scans and paperwork and nothing makes sense it’s just all so horrid. But we all know that feeling that’s what brings us here. Sending warm wishes and baby love to each and everyone of you and massive love to our little perfect angels ❤️❤️👼🏻👼🏻👼🏻

How are you holding up @Vibrant88 ?

Wishing you the best.

1yearplan · 11/05/2026 06:35

This is such wonderful news op! My little girl is 18 months old now. Babies are such precious blessings

Dalmationday · 16/04/2026 11:07

I’m so please things worked out for you OP x

Vibrant88 · 16/04/2026 11:03

Calliopespa · 16/04/2026 11:01

What you are going through right now is awful @Vibrant88 and I can only send you my kindest thoughts and wish you strength - and future happiness.

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Thankyou ❤️💙❤️💙

Calliopespa · 16/04/2026 11:01

Vibrant88 · 16/04/2026 10:55

@serasera19 thats absolutely stunning news thankyou for your reply. Congratulations to you.
@Calliopespa i certainly won’t be rushing anything I need to get all the reports back first it seems I have a blood clotting disorder that has been coming back through lots of tests so very possible linked to baby boys passing and maybe the early miscarriage of his twin. But all results including PM will likely not be back for 6 months. I will be 38 then any partner 46 so we will see what happens. Either way I feel now what will be will be if I don’t get pregnant again it’s because I’m not supposed to. If I do then fingers crossed baby makes it earth side healthy. My little boy arrives back to the mortuary today and his cremation date should be back to me tomo. I’ve just been through all his scans and paperwork and nothing makes sense it’s just all so horrid. But we all know that feeling that’s what brings us here. Sending warm wishes and baby love to each and everyone of you and massive love to our little perfect angels ❤️❤️👼🏻👼🏻👼🏻

What you are going through right now is awful @Vibrant88 and I can only send you my kindest thoughts and wish you strength - and future happiness.

Vibrant88 · 16/04/2026 10:55

@serasera19 thats absolutely stunning news thankyou for your reply. Congratulations to you.
@Calliopespa i certainly won’t be rushing anything I need to get all the reports back first it seems I have a blood clotting disorder that has been coming back through lots of tests so very possible linked to baby boys passing and maybe the early miscarriage of his twin. But all results including PM will likely not be back for 6 months. I will be 38 then any partner 46 so we will see what happens. Either way I feel now what will be will be if I don’t get pregnant again it’s because I’m not supposed to. If I do then fingers crossed baby makes it earth side healthy. My little boy arrives back to the mortuary today and his cremation date should be back to me tomo. I’ve just been through all his scans and paperwork and nothing makes sense it’s just all so horrid. But we all know that feeling that’s what brings us here. Sending warm wishes and baby love to each and everyone of you and massive love to our little perfect angels ❤️❤️👼🏻👼🏻👼🏻

Calliopespa · 16/04/2026 10:20

What joyous news OP - and what hope for others going through this.

And sending love, of course, to you @Vibrant88 and every good wish for some happy news for you too, but do give yourself time to grieve and recover. We have to climb from the depth of a valley, and climbing can take time. x

Candy1985 · 16/04/2026 10:08

serasera19 · 16/04/2026 09:57

I’m so sorry Vibrant88. There are no words for a loss like this and you only understand if you’ve been through it. 5 months after this post I conceived twins naturally ❤️ they are 10 months old now and doing really well.

This is awesome news!!!! Well done to you and your lil family 😍😍

Original poster

serasera19 · 16/04/2026 09:57

I’m so sorry Vibrant88. There are no words for a loss like this and you only understand if you’ve been through it. 5 months after this post I conceived twins naturally ❤️ they are 10 months old now and doing really well.

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Vibrant88 · 14/04/2026 08:01

how did things go for you OP? I 3 weeks ago gave birth to my sleeping baby boy whose heart stopped around 16 weeks .

Original poster

serasera19 · 15/07/2024 09:29

Candy1985 · 14/07/2024 20:54

I lost mine at only 7wks to be told by the hospital I wasn’t pregnant then to get my full report from my gp a month later that stated miscarriage. I felt completely let down by them all and no support offered. I’m now 38 almost 39 and currently 27wks with a very active boy. The anxiety and stress I’ve had is unreal but you are constantly on edge worrying and thinking the worst. It took us almost a year to conceive again so please do not lose hope. Rainbows are the best gift ever 🌈

I'm so sorry for your loss and for having to go through it without any support from the hospital ❤️ Wishing you all the best for your rainbow baby - lovely to hear I pray for a rainbow too 🌈 xx

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Candy1985 · 14/07/2024 20:54

I lost mine at only 7wks to be told by the hospital I wasn’t pregnant then to get my full report from my gp a month later that stated miscarriage. I felt completely let down by them all and no support offered. I’m now 38 almost 39 and currently 27wks with a very active boy. The anxiety and stress I’ve had is unreal but you are constantly on edge worrying and thinking the worst. It took us almost a year to conceive again so please do not lose hope. Rainbows are the best gift ever 🌈

Original poster

serasera19 · 14/07/2024 15:43

Hereforthesandwiches · 14/07/2024 14:35

Ah OP, I'm so sorry. What a terrible thing to go through. Life will get better and there will be hope again even if it feels like there won't.

Thank you I hope 🙏🏼 xx

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Original poster

serasera19 · 14/07/2024 15:43

ForUmberFinch · 14/07/2024 15:11

I’m so sorry for your loss. We lost our son at 41 weeks. Going through 36 hours of labour knowing your baby has no heartbeat is one of the most horrific experiences of my life.

get help. And I mean that in the nicest way. You need to be physically and mentally ok. I had counselling (private coz the nhs sucks and is of no help), reflexology and acupuncture for months after on a weekly basis. I took my full, planned maternity leave which I was entitled to do.

I was 36 when I had my son. We got pregnant again pretty quick. I was 37 when I had our daughter.

pregnancy after loss is horrendous. The anxiety and fear is off the scale. I went through my second pregnancy convinced baby wasn’t going to make it. You need to be ready to deal with that.

I'm so sorry about your little boy. That made me tear up, Heart breaking doesn't cut it. I just can't understand how with all the medical advancements of 2024 these tragedies are still happening.

Noted about the help, I am having all 3 things you mention. They help a bit with anxiety temporarily. I just don't know if my anxiety would be slightly eased if they find a reason for why it happened or eased if they don't xx

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ForUmberFinch · 14/07/2024 15:11

I’m so sorry for your loss. We lost our son at 41 weeks. Going through 36 hours of labour knowing your baby has no heartbeat is one of the most horrific experiences of my life.

get help. And I mean that in the nicest way. You need to be physically and mentally ok. I had counselling (private coz the nhs sucks and is of no help), reflexology and acupuncture for months after on a weekly basis. I took my full, planned maternity leave which I was entitled to do.

I was 36 when I had my son. We got pregnant again pretty quick. I was 37 when I had our daughter.

pregnancy after loss is horrendous. The anxiety and fear is off the scale. I went through my second pregnancy convinced baby wasn’t going to make it. You need to be ready to deal with that.

Hereforthesandwiches · 14/07/2024 14:35

Ah OP, I'm so sorry. What a terrible thing to go through. Life will get better and there will be hope again even if it feels like there won't.

Original poster

serasera19 · 14/07/2024 12:00

1yearplan · 14/07/2024 11:30

I'm sorry for your loss. It's absolutely heartbreaking. We lost our son in December 2023. I turned 39 in January. I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant with a little girl. I was absolutely desperate to be pregnant again and was lucky it happened so quickly for us. However, all of that innocent joy feels like it has been taken away. I'm only just settling into believing things will be okay this time. There was also no reason found for the loss of our son.
Wishing you the best of luck in the future

Thank you so much for your message it's comforting to hear 🤍 I'm so sorry for the loss of your little boy and sending you all the best for your rainbow girl 🌈 xx

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1yearplan · 14/07/2024 11:30

I'm sorry for your loss. It's absolutely heartbreaking. We lost our son in December 2023. I turned 39 in January. I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant with a little girl. I was absolutely desperate to be pregnant again and was lucky it happened so quickly for us. However, all of that innocent joy feels like it has been taken away. I'm only just settling into believing things will be okay this time. There was also no reason found for the loss of our son.
Wishing you the best of luck in the future

Original poster

serasera19 · 14/07/2024 11:23

MaltedMilk88 · 14/07/2024 10:32

It's very very hard, I never got any answers as such just that the bleed caused the placenta to come away. It really doesn't change anything though, I just needed time that's the only thing that's made any difference at all.
I had lots of sympathy at the time but just wanted to tell the world to f** off.
It was 10 years ago for me.
There's nothing I can say to make it better for you but you have my deepest condolences and solitude from someone who has been there. Fingers crossed for your rainbow in time. X

Thank you 🤍 I can imagine it will be a similar explanation for me xx

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Original poster

serasera19 · 14/07/2024 11:05

ohfook · 14/07/2024 10:48

I agree with what other posters have said it changes you.

One thing I would add is give yourself time. I was so dead set on getting pregnant again as quickly as possible that I didn't stop to think how I'd feel once I was pregnant because pregnancy after a loss like that is hard just for the sheer anxiety of it all.

I can imagine. I think it's just my age - I'm 35 and I feel like no matter how long I leave it I will have fear and anxiety? The joy and naivety I had earlier in the year when I found out I was pregnant seems like a different person xx

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Original poster

serasera19 · 14/07/2024 11:00

MrsALambert · 14/07/2024 10:29

I’m sorry for your loss. lost two at 16 weeks (not twins) and went on to have my now 4 year old. Give yourself time to grieve. I have little ways I remember them. I have a Christmas decoration celebrating both of them that goes on the tree every year. Just my way of remembering them.

I'm so sorry for both your babies ❤️ this is a lovely way to remember them and I think I will do the same for my little boy this Christmas 🤍 xx

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ohfook · 14/07/2024 10:48

I agree with what other posters have said it changes you.

One thing I would add is give yourself time. I was so dead set on getting pregnant again as quickly as possible that I didn't stop to think how I'd feel once I was pregnant because pregnancy after a loss like that is hard just for the sheer anxiety of it all.

MaltedMilk88 · 14/07/2024 10:32

It's very very hard, I never got any answers as such just that the bleed caused the placenta to come away. It really doesn't change anything though, I just needed time that's the only thing that's made any difference at all.
I had lots of sympathy at the time but just wanted to tell the world to f** off.
It was 10 years ago for me.
There's nothing I can say to make it better for you but you have my deepest condolences and solitude from someone who has been there. Fingers crossed for your rainbow in time. X