No luck conceiving 3rd baby

Mamasuzette · 2024-06-30T18:16:37+00:00

Hi, I want to start by saying i feel so lucky and blessed to have two beautiful children. Last year we decided to start trying for a 3rd. It has been 10 months now and nothing has happened. I haven’t done any ovulation tests yet, i have just been having regular sex and have been keeping an eye on my periods on the Flo App. I am 34 years old (DH is 35). One thing that is concerning me is that my cycles (which have always been on the longer side- 32-38 days) have become longer and longer in recent months. This month i am late, have had negative pregnancy tests and am on day 50. The longest cycle i have had so dar was 57 days. The weird thing is, i am getting all of the bloating/period cramps/PMS but no period. Is this something i need to investigate? What could be causing this? And is it the reason i am not falling pregnant? My first and second pregnancies were when i was 24 and 28. At 34 could this be the start of perimenopause? I also had c sections with my two previous babies, could that be a reason? We wouldn’t pursue IVF if it doesn’t happen as we can’t afford it privately, and we are content with our children. However, i can’t lie and say I’m not disappointed that it hasn’t happened for us. I was just wondering if anyone else had experienced anything similar? Even if we could afford IVF, i don’t think we would pursue it as it’s such an emotional rollercoaster (friends of mine have been through it). We sort of have the mentality that ‘whatever will be will be’. I’m also wondering whether there could be a medical problem causing my lack of periods that i need to have investigated.

Original poster

Mamasuzette · 28/10/2024 07:43

ohyesherewego · 27/10/2024 06:23

I am going through my 2nd miscarriage.

I have two healthy DDs 7 and 5

Both miscarriages I got pregnant in the first month trying (unlike my two DDs) but I cannot pass the 7 week mark.

Each time it happens I try to convince myself I need to leave it at 2 DC and that is it.

However I know I desperately want a third and do not feel "done"

I really do worry about the age gap getting bigger and bigger with each lost pregnancy

Does anyone else feel the same re age gap?

I’m really sorry for your losses ❤️

I too have worried about the age gaps. I think there are pros and cons to bigger/smaller age gaps. My eldest two have a smaller age gap which is lovely as they are close, however, i remember when my youngest was a newborn… let’s just say i don’t know how i functioned on such little sleep 🤪 i think it’s easier for parents when the older children are that bit more independent. Also, i am really looking forward to seeing mine actually be able to understand what’s happening/ and be able to feel like they are ‘helping’ with baby. One of my best friends is one of 3 sisters. There is a 7 year gap between her and the middle sister, then 10 years between the middle and youngest. They are all really close. There is 10 years between my husband and his youngest brother. They are also really close.

I really hope you’re doing well at such a difficult time. Wishing you well xxx

OP posts:

worldwidetravel2017 · 27/10/2024 08:23

ohyesherewego · 27/10/2024 06:23

I am going through my 2nd miscarriage.

I have two healthy DDs 7 and 5

Both miscarriages I got pregnant in the first month trying (unlike my two DDs) but I cannot pass the 7 week mark.

Each time it happens I try to convince myself I need to leave it at 2 DC and that is it.

However I know I desperately want a third and do not feel "done"

I really do worry about the age gap getting bigger and bigger with each lost pregnancy

Does anyone else feel the same re age gap?

Have you had nhs clotting bloods ? Coagulation screen ?
Ask for that if not.

So sorry to hear re your losses

We know that pain

You can ask your gp to refer you a tommys baby charity miscarriage clinic

Have you had your thyroid and vit d and prolactin all checked ?

Dya take daily vit d ?

Getting your vit d to optimal ie 100.. helps some people sometimes.
Theres a link with vit d being high reducing miscarriage risk

Namechange203 · 27/10/2024 08:21

Lovely news @Mamasuzette congratulations, I found it really positive to read your recent experience, and that's great baby is growing well. Thank you for the tips, I have a gynecologist appointment coming up so will ask about a scan. Hope you are feeling well.

@ohyesherewego I am very sorry for your loss, it's an awful thing to go through.

I am 36, have also had 2 mmc, one at 9 weeks, one at 12 but both only made it to 8.5 weeks.... it seems to be a strange pattern. Been ttc 14 months now since the last one.
I have 2 dc 7 and almost 5 so pretty similar gaps, my gap is alot bigger now than when we first started ttc but I just keep telling myself my dc are getting easier as time goes on which will make things easier if I ever end up with a third.

ohyesherewego · 27/10/2024 06:23

I am going through my 2nd miscarriage.

I have two healthy DDs 7 and 5

Both miscarriages I got pregnant in the first month trying (unlike my two DDs) but I cannot pass the 7 week mark.

Each time it happens I try to convince myself I need to leave it at 2 DC and that is it.

However I know I desperately want a third and do not feel "done"

I really do worry about the age gap getting bigger and bigger with each lost pregnancy

Does anyone else feel the same re age gap?

Original poster

Mamasuzette · 25/10/2024 17:19

ByJollyZebra · 25/10/2024 16:48

I've just read your thread @Mamasuzette ! Congratulations ❤️ and thank you for sharing your experience! At 35 and trying for my third, its given me hope, I've had a really rough day after some nasty false positives and I feel much more positive after reading your news ❤️

I’m so glad it’s made you feel more positive ❤️ I hadn’t come across many positive stories during my journey, and they would have helped me too. Not to say that there aren’t many, but a lot of women probably stop posting when they do fall pregnant. I just thought if anything in my story helps or resonates with anyone else it might help in some way :) wishing you all the best xxx

OP posts:

ByJollyZebra · 25/10/2024 16:48

I've just read your thread @Mamasuzette ! Congratulations ❤️ and thank you for sharing your experience! At 35 and trying for my third, its given me hope, I've had a really rough day after some nasty false positives and I feel much more positive after reading your news ❤️

Original poster

Mamasuzette · 25/10/2024 15:25

I also thought people might find this useful…

I had an early scan due to some pelvic pain. Baby is fine and growing well. But straight away the doctor noticed how polycystic my ovaries were. I had an ultrasound less than a year ago and there was absolutely no sign of this. It is likely the reason it took me longer to get pregnant this time. My blood tests had shown that my hormone levels were slightly off, but didn’t really indicate the full extent of it. I just thought i would update incase anyone is in a similar situation. If so it may be worth requesting a pelvic ultrasound if you are in a similar situation and are trying to get pregnant, even if you have had one not so long ago. I think someone else also mentioned that they developed polycystic ovaries not long after an ultrasound. I hope this helps x

OP posts:

Original poster

Mamasuzette · 10/10/2024 19:22

RoseannesMamma · 10/10/2024 17:12

Hello @Mamasuzette , congratulations!!

I’m just wondering if you’d share what you did differently this cycle? I know you used the ovulation sticks. I’ve been using them a while as well as tracking my temperature but no luck. Just going into cycle 7 following a MMC, my daughter was conceived cycle 2 back in 2021! How did you time DTD?

Feel like we’re trying everything and getting nowhere!

Thank you 😊
yes of course…

The ovulation sticks were the main thing. I didn’t track my temperature i just literally used the clear blue sticks with the smiley faces. Interestingly though, we DTD the day before the test showed i was ovulating (coincidentally), then again on the actual day. I think looking back in previous cycles it was happening too late and i was missing my window.

I have also been going to the gym three times a week for the last 5/6 weeks. I wasn’t over weight before, but my fitness levels weren’t as good as they could have been. I had also been referred to an endocrinologist by my GP because of my hormone levels. I don’t know whether subconsciously i felt more relaxed/optimistic about things because of that.

I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you, and hope you get your positive test soon xx

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Original poster

Mamasuzette · 10/10/2024 18:07

ThatSnugSwan · 10/10/2024 16:38

@Mamasuzette I just read this whole thread and am absolutely delighted to read your good news. Congratulations 🎊 I wonder was your fertile days just been missed by the flo app predictions. Either way its fantastic news 😊

Thank you 😊
I think that was definitely what happened, especially at the beginning. I also think the ovulation sticks really helped (mentally), as i knew i was definitely ovulating. Before I started using them I didn’t actually know whether i was or not x

OP posts:

RoseannesMamma · 10/10/2024 17:12

Hello @Mamasuzette , congratulations!!

I’m just wondering if you’d share what you did differently this cycle? I know you used the ovulation sticks. I’ve been using them a while as well as tracking my temperature but no luck. Just going into cycle 7 following a MMC, my daughter was conceived cycle 2 back in 2021! How did you time DTD?

Feel like we’re trying everything and getting nowhere!

ThatSnugSwan · 10/10/2024 16:38

@Mamasuzette I just read this whole thread and am absolutely delighted to read your good news. Congratulations 🎊 I wonder was your fertile days just been missed by the flo app predictions. Either way its fantastic news 😊

Original poster

Mamasuzette · 10/10/2024 15:54

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to share an update… I have taken a pregnancy test this morning and it was positive! The ovulation sticks obviously worked.

I hope this gives others hope (who has been trying for a long time) that it can just be down to bad luck/timing. It also goes to show how it can happen quickly in one pregnancy and not another (and vice versa). Interesting though, this baby will be due in the same month as my other two were born. I wonder if my body is more fertile at that time of the year? Obviously it is still very early days, but we are keeping out fingers crossed.

For anyone struggling with the uncertainty, i know exactly how it feels. I hope your miracle babies are round the corner ❤️

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worldwidetravel2017 · 22/09/2024 13:47

Mamasuzette · 22/09/2024 13:44

It has been fairly accurate for predicting my periods, but less so for ovulation. I’m just relieved to know that i ovulating.

Does anyone know if the tests are accurate? Can you get a false ‘positive’ even if you haven’t actually ovulated?

Show quote history

Sometimes you can ovulate up to 36 hrs after positive test

Patients with pcos can get multiple lh surges

You can often tell ovulation by ovulation boobs and / or ovulation discharge

Original poster

Mamasuzette · 22/09/2024 13:44

worldwidetravel2017 · 22/09/2024 13:18

The flo app isnt overly reliable for many

Show quote history

It has been fairly accurate for predicting my periods, but less so for ovulation. I’m just relieved to know that i ovulating.

Does anyone know if the tests are accurate? Can you get a false ‘positive’ even if you haven’t actually ovulated?

OP posts:

worldwidetravel2017 · 22/09/2024 13:18

Mamasuzette · 22/09/2024 13:09

I have started using the clear blue ovulation sticks. I have a smiley face today so it looks like i am ovulating. Interestingly though 3 days before the Flo app predicted. I’m hoping this means I’ve just been missing my window x

The flo app isnt overly reliable for many

Original poster

Mamasuzette · 22/09/2024 13:09

I have started using the clear blue ovulation sticks. I have a smiley face today so it looks like i am ovulating. Interestingly though 3 days before the Flo app predicted. I’m hoping this means I’ve just been missing my window x

OP posts:

Original poster

Mamasuzette · 20/09/2024 21:16

My lovely GP has referred me to the infertility clinic at the hospital. My appointment should come through before the end of December. Does anyone know what they are likely to do? I know we won’t be eligible for IVF, but was wondering what sort of things they test for.

She has also referred me to an endocrinologist because of the high testosterone levels. I have no experience with any of this so I’m also wondering what will happen at this appointment.

It all feels very surreal at the moment. I feel so naive, but I honestly didn’t think i would be in this situation after having my two previous DCs. Friends and family often bring it up, and i don’t have the heart to tell them we are trying. I just brush it off and say ‘maybe one day’. I know nobody means any harm, but it’s made me realise how tactless it is to question people about having more children. Many just assume that people can have as many children as they want, when they want to. Unfortunately as many of us know, it’s not always that straightforward. It’s being in limbo that I’m finding the hardest atm. It’s difficult to make plans ‘incase I’m pregnant’ but i equally i still want to enjoy life and not pin all my hopes on this.

OP posts:

Original poster

Mamasuzette · 20/09/2024 20:58

Namechange203 · 13/09/2024 21:57

Hi @Mamasuzette I'm sorry you have waited so long. You are not alone, I have just got a bfn so waiting for AF in the next few days.
We started trying for baby #3 two years ago, the first year I fell pregnant twice, right away the first time then after 5 months the second time but both were mmc.

It's been a year in August since the last pregnancy ended, and I am moving onto cycle 15 when my period arrives. I feel downhearted by it all, and I dont understand it, I am taking all the supplements and had testing that seems things are normal and confirms ovulation. I am 36. x

l’m really sorry for your losses, i can imagine that must have been really heartbreaking for you ❤️

It’s so frustrating isn’t it, especially if you can’t pinpoint why it isn’t happening. I almost didn’t want to have any tests to begin with, because if i admitted we needed to, i was worried that i would get stressed and overthink it all every month. Unfortunately it’s got to the point where I can’t ignore what’s happening (or not happening).

Wishing you lots of luck, let me know how you get on x

OP posts:

Original poster

Mamasuzette · 20/09/2024 20:41

secondtimelucky87 · 13/09/2024 15:16

Hey, I really feel your pain. I have one child it took 3 years to conceive. It finally happened for us during lockdown and I think the drastic reduction in work stress did at least contribute to it. We've been TTC no. 2 for...I can't actually figure out how long. I think close to 1.5 years. We have male factor issues. I've had my LH, FSH and oestradiol checked on NHS. My FSH was worryingly high so I paid for the most comprehensive bloods I could find and had them this week (female fertility with Randox). I'm awaiting results and it also checks AMH. Ive also been wondering about perimenopause which is likely at my age (37). I had a transvaginal scan this week which was normal. A few months ago I'd have said definitely no to IVF due to my own huge anxiety about it and the financial burden. Now I'm undecided. There are 0% finance options but it'd still be a huge amount with no guarantee of success. I'm sorry I have no useful answers but just want to say I empathise. Of course we're blessed with the children we have but we can still yearn for another. My next step is to go to a fertility clinic and see what is advised. If it's IVF as suspected we'll either consider if we can make it work financially or see if there's anything else at all we can try. Failing that I guess ultimately I'll try to come to terms with things and seek some counselling. Have either of you had any investigations done? Its worth doing as you can have a lot on NHS. Just not actual treatment. Wishing you lots of luck and baby dust 💕

Edited

I’m really sorry to hear that it hasn’t happened yet for you ❤️ I don’t think we would go down the IVF route either, for various different reasons. Hopefully our miracle babies are just around the corner x

OP posts:

Nsky62 · 20/09/2024 19:59

Mamasuzette · 20/09/2024 19:23

I have read a lot of success stories of people who have had acupuncture so will hive it a try. Thanks xx

Show quote history

I underwent some Chinese medicine years ago for extreme menopause symptoms ( Avicenna in Hove, Brighton, I had prescription made up for me of a herb brew specially made, a family member paid for this)
Whilst undergoing acupuncture ( along with my meds), one of the acupuncturist was treating a ivf pregnancy, woman 44, diet, lots of help, I assume the pregnancy went ok.
These tweaks and advice, much cheaper, and prob a safer way to encourage your body, to a fruitful pregnancy.

Original poster

Mamasuzette · 20/09/2024 19:29

Fairy0708 · 13/09/2024 12:46

Hey!

I'm afraid I don't have any advice re: testosterone. However I am sort of similar position in that DC1 was conceived quickly at 31 and started TTC baby 2 at 34 and no luck. I am now 35 and on cycle 13.

We've had the following tests:
DH sperm analysis
Day 3 and 21 progesterone
AMH, FSH, thyroid, general bloods
2 X transvaginal scans
Hycosy

Nothing has been flagged. I've spoken to lots of ladies who have taken over a year, sometimes 2 years for baby 1 and so on. I do always wonder if there '12 months is normal' is outdated. I know it's based on statistics but I feel (for me) it's caused so much pressure. Weirdly now I'm past the 12 months I feel more relaxed because I'm not 'expecting' it to happen and just hoping it will happen, just not on the 'normal' timescale.

Yes that’s true, i suppose we could have just been lucky that it happened quickly with previous pregnancies. There are so many factors involved, i can’t work out whether i should be worried or not at this point. I do have a couple of friends who said it took 2/3 years to conceive. It did happen naturally for them in the end so we definitely still have time 😊 i hope it happens for you soon. Keep me updated xx

OP posts:

Original poster

Mamasuzette · 20/09/2024 19:23

Nsky62 · 13/09/2024 11:58

Acupuncture may help, had a lot, relatively cheap, and may rebalance things, check out a few and see if they can help?

I have read a lot of success stories of people who have had acupuncture so will hive it a try. Thanks xx

OP posts:

Namechange203 · 13/09/2024 21:57

Hi @Mamasuzette I'm sorry you have waited so long. You are not alone, I have just got a bfn so waiting for AF in the next few days.
We started trying for baby #3 two years ago, the first year I fell pregnant twice, right away the first time then after 5 months the second time but both were mmc.

It's been a year in August since the last pregnancy ended, and I am moving onto cycle 15 when my period arrives. I feel downhearted by it all, and I dont understand it, I am taking all the supplements and had testing that seems things are normal and confirms ovulation. I am 36. x

secondtimelucky87 · 13/09/2024 15:16

Hey, I really feel your pain. I have one child it took 3 years to conceive. It finally happened for us during lockdown and I think the drastic reduction in work stress did at least contribute to it. We've been TTC no. 2 for...I can't actually figure out how long. I think close to 1.5 years. We have male factor issues. I've had my LH, FSH and oestradiol checked on NHS. My FSH was worryingly high so I paid for the most comprehensive bloods I could find and had them this week (female fertility with Randox). I'm awaiting results and it also checks AMH. Ive also been wondering about perimenopause which is likely at my age (37). I had a transvaginal scan this week which was normal. A few months ago I'd have said definitely no to IVF due to my own huge anxiety about it and the financial burden. Now I'm undecided. There are 0% finance options but it'd still be a huge amount with no guarantee of success. I'm sorry I have no useful answers but just want to say I empathise. Of course we're blessed with the children we have but we can still yearn for another. My next step is to go to a fertility clinic and see what is advised. If it's IVF as suspected we'll either consider if we can make it work financially or see if there's anything else at all we can try. Failing that I guess ultimately I'll try to come to terms with things and seek some counselling. Have either of you had any investigations done? Its worth doing as you can have a lot on NHS. Just not actual treatment. Wishing you lots of luck and baby dust 💕

Fairy0708 · 13/09/2024 12:46

Hey!

I'm afraid I don't have any advice re: testosterone. However I am sort of similar position in that DC1 was conceived quickly at 31 and started TTC baby 2 at 34 and no luck. I am now 35 and on cycle 13.

We've had the following tests:
DH sperm analysis
Day 3 and 21 progesterone
AMH, FSH, thyroid, general bloods
2 X transvaginal scans
Hycosy

Nothing has been flagged. I've spoken to lots of ladies who have taken over a year, sometimes 2 years for baby 1 and so on. I do always wonder if there '12 months is normal' is outdated. I know it's based on statistics but I feel (for me) it's caused so much pressure. Weirdly now I'm past the 12 months I feel more relaxed because I'm not 'expecting' it to happen and just hoping it will happen, just not on the 'normal' timescale.